Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

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zbigi
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by zbigi »

chenda wrote:
Mon May 02, 2022 3:30 am
@Stahlmann -

I'd particularly consider historic building trades, which are extremely sought after for specialist restoration work and can be very well paid.
Really? That may explain the Westerners I saw doing apprenticeships in the workshop of museum of stained glass in Kraków. I thought it's just a niche hobby for them, but it might have been something more.

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Stahlmann »

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Last edited by Stahlmann on Wed Jun 01, 2022 3:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

chenda
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by chenda »

I think you are overthinking this...

How is your career planning going?

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C40
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by C40 »

It sounds like you still have a ways to go to recover from your Red Pill / MGTOW conditioning

Have you read this books yet? It might help:
- Models (Mark Manson)

And possible this as well:
- How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World (Harry Browne) [The concepts are often written with a specific focus - at times business - but many/most apply to different areas of life including dating/sex]

You can find them both easily on Libgen
Last edited by C40 on Thu May 19, 2022 7:20 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Jean
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Jean »

women have a completly different problem when it comes to mating. I wouldn't want to be in their shoes.

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Stahlmann »

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Last edited by Stahlmann on Wed Jun 01, 2022 3:41 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Jean
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Jean »

you are overwhelmed with male attention, with no directions. every encounter you have somehow lowers your value, but you have to figure out in a very limited time what a good partner is, so that you can attract one while they would still desire you. If you fail, the rest of your life gets miserable, because you are either alone or with a terrible partner.

as a male, by the time you can somehow "easily" attract a partner, you have a good idea of what qualities are important for you.

it's harder to win for a male, it requires efforts, but it's easier to lose for a female, it requires discernment. maybe as a female, you'de be stuck with three kids from an alcoholics man, or alone looking much less attractive than you used too because of your tobaco consumption.

it's like when women compare their career paths to those of the most successful males, and not the majority of them.

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

I never sought out the red pill content, but I clicked on the link in this post and now I have had YouTube come at me with suggested material. I can only watch a video or 3 from the manosphere before I start to feel dumber, but it can be useful for men who are struggling with being simps.

Beyond that, there is no amount of posting or podcasting that will change aggregate female behavior in society (although economic depression may do this nicely) to suit your purposes, so you better just become the most attractive version of yourself.

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Stahlmann »

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Last edited by Stahlmann on Wed Jun 01, 2022 3:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

I am no sage in such matters, and what is true today may not be true tomorrow. Money can buy sex but it cannot buy love or trust.

Perhaps read @C40’s suggestions, and be the best Stahlmann you can be. There are many methods.

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Stahlmann »

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Last edited by Stahlmann on Wed Jun 01, 2022 3:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Jean
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Jean »

Stahlmann wrote:
Thu May 19, 2022 11:48 am
@MI, How do you deal with libido? So you are in LTR? Or with your affluence, you simply visit prostitutes every X weeks? Simply finds lovers every X weeks? Porsites premium accs and DIYing it?
your hands and fantasy can keep madness away for several years.

somehow, I noticed that i had greater success with women i masturbated about. that is you have to fantasize about the whole encounter, how you'll talk to her, get her aroused, etc... i don't think porn will give you this benefit, and somehow, my porn abusing friends seem to have unrealistic expectations.
my prostitute using friends have a healthier love life than porn user. i suspect that the cost makes abuse less tempting.

ltr probably won't be enough for you libido. there will be period of time where you libido is exausted, but not all the time.
you need to learn to accept how frustration is a part of human life.

white belt
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by white belt »

I'm going to lay this out very simply:

1. Stop perusing the corners of the internet that cater to red pill/MGTOW. Virtually everything you will learn there will push you in the exact opposite direction of where you want to go. If you view women and dating with contempt then you will never have a satisfactory love life. Instead, check out the resources @C40 linked. I've also posted before about how I also think this book is very helpful for bridging the evolutionary psychology and sociology research with practical advice: https://www.amazon.com/Mate-Become-Man- ... B01LTHXJVE

2. You have to accept your libido, it is who you are. I have a very high libido, so I can't really comment on what it's like to have a lower libido other than the fact that I'm sure it's nice to be able to focus on hobbies and other things more often. If you have a high libido, consider this an advantage because it also means you likely have higher natural testosterone. I recommend finding channels for aggression like lifting weights, competitive sports, or really any kind of competition. In addition to doing things like interacting with attractive woman, research shows that the previous activities will help to increase T levels which also has positive health impacts. If you want/need to orgasm everyday, then you're probably going to need to masturbate sometimes and/or find a co-habitating romantic partner with the same sex drive.

3. On the spectrum between "thinking" and "doing", my impression is that you are way too far on the "thinking" end in regards to dating. You need to have real interactions with real women in real life. I feel like you already made great strides by having a few encounters with the woman you posted about earlier in this thread. Now you need to have like a dozen more of those (not necessarily all with different women). As far as I can gather, you have been able to at least get some dates from apps, so I'd stick with that for now. Dating women you meet in day to day life is certainly possible, but honestly dating apps just make things so much easier because you don't have to be nearly as perceptive about reading signals since you know there is some baseline romantic interest if you match.

chenda
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by chenda »

I've heard that some men avoid masturbation for lengthy periods in the belief it increases their sexual energy and increases their success with women.

On the other hand, if successful you might bring matters to a conclusion far too quickly so I guess some forward planning is required.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

The real red pill when it comes to dating is knowing/accepting your “level.” But, the magical thing is that once you truly accept your “level”, your “level” goes up. A lot of humans who whine about not getting laid are just too picky in some way. If I wasn’t sick, I would be out there dating at the level of “some guy in his 60s who kind of looks like Santa Claus”, because I fully accept that I am a woman in her late 50s who kind of looks like Mrs. Santa Claus. And guy in his 60s who kind of looks like Santa Claus might turn out to be really interesting or fun, and I might roll out of his bed with a smile on my face, and then bump into guy who looks like Jimmy Smits who for some reason has a bit of a Mrs.Santa Claus fetish, and/or meet somebody else who is attractive , but only likes me for my brains, but has sex with me anyways and also helps me paint my garage because he feels a little bit guilty that he’s not more into me, etc. etc. etc.

Toska2
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Toska2 »

@MI
Fresh&Fit are grifters.

If you want data look at early Alexander Grace.
For more dialogue of life after RP, huMan.

Both on yt.

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Stahlmann »

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Last edited by Stahlmann on Wed Jun 01, 2022 3:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

@T2

I watched two Alexander Grace video and he shows the chart where all men regardless of age would date women in their early 20’s and another video that shows women find most men disgusting.

If just seems like the same data is re-hashed for the entire sphere over and over. An infotainment business model where the info is to beat you over the head with this aggregate data while the entertainment is bringing in either a young woman to show how stupid and entitled she is, or an older woman and gloat about how her looks and prospects are fading (F&F model).

Again I think the utility of that community is in helping men to avoid orbiting a woman that does not like or respect him, or worse losing big in a divorce settlement.

Simple take away is to have self-respect, do not invite government into your relationship, and focus on building your own thing.

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Stahlmann »

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Last edited by Stahlmann on Wed Jun 01, 2022 3:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Jean
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Re: Stahlmann is trying to achieve mental peace - again

Post by Jean »

I found Alexander Grace usefull for two reason:
Allow yourself to leave an armfull relationship
Remember how lucky you are to have a great partner that doesn't do any of the horrible thing some women do.
Honnestly, there are enough advice to get you set for life on this thread, if you would apply them.
If you can't apply them, maybe ask for something more specific?

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