MBB_Boy's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

MBB_Baby has landed! Both him and MBB_Girl are doing great. MBB_Dog is a bit skeptical - he doesn't understand why the baby won't play with him or chase him around and gets frustrated as a result!

Needless to say, my motivation to work has basically evaporated. Only taking a chunk of my paternity leave now, will take the rest when my wife's maternity leave wraps. The ticking of the clock to FI has gotten really loud all of a sudden.

In other news, a bit of a pivot on the ranch. After a few weeks of looking at really uninspiring tractor trailors, we've pivotted to considering a tiny home or a yurt instead. Not confident enough in the maintenance aspects of an RV, worried about getting a lemon / bad deal, wife isn't a fan of the aesthetic (especially when considering the need to erect some sort of cover to protect from sun). It'll be a bit more expensive, but will be nicer / more enjoyable.

Won't be mobile, but the idea that we were actually going to take advantage of that feature was probably wishful thinking anyway. We've never felt a desire to RV anywhere in our lives.

The yurt direction would require some DIY on the interior (and likely the set up as well) which is equal parts exciting and worrisome. I secretly think we'll slap the easy button and grab a tiny home, but wife is really excited about some of the aspects of a yurt. I'm also less than convinced that we'll be able to cool it to our satisfaction, since we'd be looking at more square footage and I don't think they insulate as well as a tiny house with a metal roof. Still researching this.

I also like that the tiny home is still movable - relatively easy to move it around the property (or off the property entirely in the future if we want to get rid of it). I do NOT think there is any resale value for these, so would be pleasantly surprised in the future if I'm wrong. Trying to stay conservative.

Off to give the new mama a break

theanimal
Posts: 2628
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:05 pm
Location: AK
Contact:

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by theanimal »

Congratulations!!

mooretrees
Posts: 762
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2019 1:21 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by mooretrees »

woo hoo! Enjoy this special time!

candide
Posts: 432
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2022 9:25 pm
Location: red state America
Contact:

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by candide »

Congrats. DW and I are expecting our first in July.

I look forward to checking in and comparing notes.

mathiverse
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:40 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by mathiverse »

Congratulations!

bostonimproper
Posts: 581
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2018 11:45 am

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by bostonimproper »

Congratulations on the new addition to your family!

User avatar
mountainFrugal
Posts: 1125
Joined: Fri May 07, 2021 2:26 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by mountainFrugal »

Congrats!

Western Red Cedar
Posts: 1205
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:15 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by Western Red Cedar »

Congratulations! A baby in a yurt or a tiny house sounds just about right for an ERE journal :D

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

Thanks everyone!

@WRC - Ha! This is for a "second home" so not quite on brand

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

Update from parenthood: Wife and baby are doing great. We are getting things dialed in, and I'm returning to work soon after taking the first chunk of my paternity leave (the rest will be taken when my wife's ends).

Went and took a look at some tiny homes, and was really uninspired with the quality and price. My long-standing skepticism toward the concept was validated, but reminded myself that this was just one place. I shouldn't judge the category based on one business that couldn't even be bothered to make its models clean. Not only did I get a headache from the fumes of what appeared to fresh paint / plaster, but there was still junk from previous owners in the closets or strewn about inside. So these weren't even new models.

The excursion was not a total waste - learned that it's very important to stay under 400sqft for property tax purposes (the house counts as an RV at that size and below), I learned that a loft makes a giant difference, and also learned that it isn't a given that a particular home can be operated "off-grid". I will need to have some work to be able to plug in my generator and need to have a plan for water, unless I specifically ask about the hookups. So I can now ask more educated questions when looking at listings.

Also, a downstairs diaper changing station sounds great in practice. Thus far, we haven't used it a single time. We just take him upstairs to the "main" station. Maybe that will change over time, but we didn't listen to the other parents in our lives who advised that we were just making our downstairs unnecessarily cluttered.

Other lessons:
Laundry seems endless, babies will eat bottles straight out of the fridge without warming (time saver!), and babies absolutely have preferences about pacifiers. I thought it was just marketing.....nope. Homie straight spits out any pacifier we've given him so far that wasn't from MAM. But he doesn't give a crap what kind of bottle nipple we give him.....go figure.

Also - newborn baby socks / shoes are completely useless. The shoes I completely expected (weren't even on registry, but some people just insist), but the socks were slightly surprising. Maybe it's just because its summer, but he hasn't worn any of them to this point, and they will probably end up being too small before ever being worn. Luckily they were gifted, but they seem destined to be handed down to our friends having a kid later this year.

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

Financial update: Took a look at the budget for the year and we are currently under budget by 12.5%.

I wrote this long series of post to start the journal outlining the "current" plan for the year which was to hold steady with the previous year at 180K - while adding a bunch of expenses including a child and land development.

I'm resisting the urge to dig into the specific categories (saving it for the half year review + presentation), but my general sense is that this performance will deteriorate over the year. Nothing "lumpy" has occurred yet, and there are some things in the budget we are getting "false credit" for at this point (medical bills for birth haven't hit, we obviously haven't spend any money on Christmas, daycare, etc). On the other hand, some of the subcategories where we are "over" will smooth out over the year too (tax bill is fully paid, so the deficit will shrink by 1/12 each month going forward).

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

Parenthood going pretty great - MBB Baby has generally been a delight, and we are settling into a great groove. Mother's day gift was well received, and discovered a cool spot in the city where we took him on his first outing and had some great Vietnamese food and chilled for a bit. We'll go back, it's a nice place to hang out and we'll bring the dog next time.

Read Guns, Germs, and Steel. Would probably have enjoyed it more if I hadn't already read so much Peter Zeihan and Dr. Thomas Sowell - they covered like 90% of the ground in the book. Would still recommend to others, but I didn't get much new out of it outside of the disease theme.

Have pivoted away from travel trailer and been looking at "tiny homes" instead. We are working with a local builder who started doing these full time in my hometown. Went and visited one they built that was for sale, and would have simply bought it if not for one feature choice. Since it was a great price and we liked what they did, decided to see if they would do a design just for us, and they said yes! Should be all set by end of summer. Waiting on the proposal / contract now. If it looks good, I'll reach back out to the utility companies to get back on their radar (made initial contact last year after land purchase then deferred until deciding on a build plan).

Estate planning moving forward, filled out the required paperwork for the lawyer and they are drafting up a revocable trust and the other documents.

Finally, I got bored at work and decided to spreadsheet out how much money choosing early debt payoff over investing actually cost you. It's a frequent topic of discussion, and everyone always writes out how investing gives you more money in the end, but I've been frustrated that no one ever gives an example to show the degree of difference. Seems like important info. And some of the ones that I did see weren't done correctly - they completely miss that there are years where you end up investing more per year because you don't have payments, which closes the value gap.

It's obviously subject to a ton of assumptions, but paying off our mortgage early will result in an 8% value difference at the end of 20 years. This is with a 2.375% interest rate and a 7% rate of return. This was a smaller difference than I was honestly anticipating. Not small enough that I'm interested in paying off the mortgage faster, but I could consider paying off the rest of our debt early. Our mortgage would be paid off in less than 5 years, the other debt wouldn't even take 1 year.

The less time you spend giving up investing, the smaller the final difference (duh). The final difference for paying off non-mortgage debt is literally a couple of thousand dollars over the end of the debt term. Even doing a FV calculation of that difference over another 20 years is a small enough difference that I chalk it up to margin of error (after all, the market return assumptions are anything but precise). The benefit of paying that price is improved resiliency / cash flow month to month, simplicity, and possibly some psychological relief (I don't think it actually bothers me, but sometimes you don't realize a weight until its gone).

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

A few more books read - wanted something lighter and less economics / geopolitics as a change of pace, so went with Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps Millionaires and Emily Oster's The Family Firm. They were each 2-3 day reads.

The former had value primarily in the white paper at the end, which had the results of a 10K+ survey of millionaires in the U.S. Nothing surprising or really different from Dr. Stanley's Millionaire Next Door, but nice to have a refresh. The rest of the book was.....not intended for people at my stage. I'll just leave it at that. Would recommend in limited capacity, and the white paper is recommended for anyone generally curious in personal finance.

Was a bit disappointed in The Family Firm - her other two books seemed way better and more useful. Likely because the decision making for older kids is more complicated and therefore data doesn't give you much a path / there isn't much "conventional wisdom" to debunk.I also have my MBA from the place she used to teach at and worked in strategy consulting for a living, so the idea of a framework / decision making approach isn't novel to me. Would recommend the author in general, and wouldn't dissuade anyone from this book.

Moving forward on the small house build - meeting with builder next week to go over drawings / plans etc, but was able to look at some stuff with the wife and make decisions on cabinets / flooring / countertops, and educated ourselves on sinks. I've never seen or heard of a workstation sink before, but given the limited space in this kitchen I think it's a great idea. We're 95% going to pick this style, so just doing diligence on the makers / models / etc etc at this point.

The real big decision left is the washer / dryer. They are going to be placed inside the staircase, so the decision to install one or both has some consequence on the design. Don't know exactly what the tradeoffs would be, but I'm in the starting camp of skipping the dryer and only having a washer, while the wife wants both. Won't be able to fully decide until we sit down and see the sketches and talk detail on stair design to see what the consequence of adding a dryer is (besides the cost).

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

Life with baby is great. He's started smiling and can sort of roll over a bit, so we're transitioning out of the swaddle. He's growing well and sleeping GREAT so we're pretty happy. Headed out today to go let him meet all the ladies at our wine club, who have been dying to meet him.


Had the meeting with the builder and things went well. Aligned on how we want to handle stairs / railing leading to loft, learned that it's irrelevant spacewise whether we add a dryer or not (we are now leaning toward having neither, but having the hookups in place if we change our mind later).

Now its off to researching insulation and shower inserts (I've never even heard of these). It gets really hot here, and I've always been "pro insulation". I was originally okay with fiberglass batt, and would take Rock Wool if I could get it. But now I've learned about closed cell spray foam and it seems hard to justify not going with the best option since we can afford it. Cost of overage / cost of underage seems to point toward spending the money. If we end up only spending time out here 8-10 times a year, it will seem like a waste. If we spend a lot more time out there and do it full time for a while, it will seem like a genius move.

I've also been looking into what we should do for climate control when we leave - I always assumed we would just turn it off. But now I'm learning that's a big no-no, and that having a house (even a small one) hang out at 80-90 degrees inside for weeks on end is a big no no. So if we are going to leave the AC on and set for like.....82 degrees?.....to control humidity and avoid mold / wood warping, then the upgraded insulation makes even more sense.....right?

We aren't saying "yes" to every little upgrade, so I THINK my urge to spend extra on this isn't just lazy thinking and throwing money around. We upgraded counters to butcher block over laminate, but aren't touching the counters or cheapo fridge and flooring.

Two big debates:

1. What to do with stove burner - would come with a 2 burner electric stovetop. Wife is adamant we should do 4 burner, and I'm good with that. But we're debating doing an induction stove. They are pricey, and this isn't a permanent living situation where I expect to be cooking a lot. We would primarily be grilling / eating out, so I'm questioning the outlay. We just agreed to put off buying a washer / dryer until we use it a while and see if the extra convenience is worth it. Should an induction stove be in the same category? I don't THINK swapping it out later is a big deal, but writing this out I realize I should figure it out.

2. Composting toilet or not - DW is VERY skeptical. I'm looking to avoid having to put in a septic system at this stage - there's a chance that we end up moving this thing to another spot on the property in the future, and there's going to be another tiny home put up soon for our friends, and maybe we do a conventional build out in the future, etc etc. I want to preserve options and flexibility, so a composting toilet and greywater leach field is better for that. Might be another try it out situation - worse case is that we wasted money buying an extra composting toilet. Even then, I wonder if we would repurpose it somewhere else on the property eventually.

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

Family update:
All is well with son and wife. She's on maternity leave for another month or so, and then we will start daycare at a local church.

Ranch update:
Decisions made on insulation and sink. Wife is now cautiously onboard with composting toilet, with the implicit understanding that we're going to go pricier to alleviate her concerns on smell / general experience. Only big thing left is the shower insert - we really liked the tile option of the base model, but the builder has now recommended avoiding tile because it's more likely to break after being moved. That's been their experience after building a few of these, and there's a good chance that we are going to end up moving this to another place on the property down the line as we develop it more. Maybe the concern is overblown, or maybe re-tiling isn't that big a deal. I should probably look into this

Job update:
Work continues to have very strong work life balance and pay. However, I'm starting to regret the move. Part of it is some lingering unease about stability - it's a non-tech job at a big tech company and there have been some recent layoffs.

Another part is the abysmal stock performance, so my move is not as lucrative as it initially seemed. When I looked out over a 3 year period, I took what I thought was a conservative approach and just assumed the stock would be steady. Did not think about 70+% blowoff. Granted, it's not the end of the 3 year period but still.

Third, I was hired to build a lead a team. But I'm now running into a bunch of excuses about why I don't get to hire for said team. This partially goes back to reason 1 above regarding my concerns about stability.

Finally, leadership on this team has been disappointing and absent. I don't consider myself a person who cares about the soft side of working at a company, but it's definitely not a cultural fit and it's bothering me. It is likely only bothering me because of the pay issues. I'm sure I wouldn't care if the compensation was matching my expectations - I don't seek fulfillment at work. But if I'm not getting the comp I expect, the fun of leading a team and developing others that I left for, AND I don't fit with coworkers and direct leadership......what am I doing here? There's a very strong chance I'm out after bonus season, and a small chance I don't wait that long.

When you are actively hoping for a voluntary severance deal, the job probably isn't the right one for you haha. If they gave me 6 months pay and cashed out all my unvested incentives, I'd leave without thinking. 2+months and I'm at least listening / negotiating.

User avatar
Slevin
Posts: 626
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2015 7:44 pm
Location: Sonoma County

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by Slevin »

MBBboy wrote:
Mon Jun 06, 2022 12:08 pm
Job update:
Finally, leadership on this team has been disappointing and absent. I don't consider myself a person who cares about the soft side of working at a company, but it's definitely not a cultural fit and it's bothering me. It is likely only bothering me because of the pay issues. I'm sure I wouldn't care if the compensation was matching my expectations - I don't seek fulfillment at work. But if I'm not getting the comp I expect, the fun of leading a team and developing others that I left for, AND I don't fit with coworkers and direct leadership......what am I doing here? There's a very strong chance I'm out after bonus season, and a small chance I don't wait that long.

When you are actively hoping for a voluntary severance deal, the job probably isn't the right one for you haha. If they gave me 6 months pay and cashed out all my unvested incentives, I'd leave without thinking. 2+months and I'm at least listening / negotiating.
It's a tech company job. Unless you are doing something exceptionally weird, you can probably just hop on to the next tech company, which will probably give you a different salary structure taking into account how the stock is doing right now. When stocks are down drastically and you think they will recover is literally the best time to hop and get new reups on the stocks based at a certain current monetary value of the stock (which is how I've seen the vesting usually work).

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

Slevin wrote:
Mon Jun 06, 2022 12:28 pm
It's a tech company job. Unless you are doing something exceptionally weird, you can probably just hop on to the next tech company, which will probably give you a different salary structure taking into account how the stock is doing right now. When stocks are down drastically and you think they will recover is literally the best time to hop and get new reups on the stocks based at a certain current monetary value of the stock (which is how I've seen the vesting usually work).
It's not a tech job though. It's a non-tech job that I HAPPEN to be doing at a tech company. This is my first time working at a tech company, and it will definitely be the last

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

Got my wish (sort of). Got laid off yesterday, with 4 months pay. Big fat ZERO on the 6 figures of unvested shares sitting my account, so that really stings. Also - I was scheduled to take my remaining paternity leave soon, which the HR woman had no idea about. I haven't signed anything yet because I'm waiting to see what they do about that. I was encouraged to not take all of it at once because my boss was going to be on sabbatical - I'll be pretty pissed (and feeling mighty litigious) if they don't let me take it / pay me for it.

So did NOT make it until bonus time lol

User avatar
Slevin
Posts: 626
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2015 7:44 pm
Location: Sonoma County

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by Slevin »

Ouch, That sucks losing the unvested stocks. Seems like a clear sign though, and now you can hopefully move to a job that has less short term suck.

Are you planning on taking the paternity leave and then try and get a job at a non-tech company this time then? Or stretch the leave a bit more and eat a little extra savings to spend time with the baby?

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: MBB_Boy's journal

Post by MBBboy »

I don't know what's happening with the paternity leave. The HR discussion and severance didn't seem to account for it, and the HR person didn't know what to say when I brought it up. She's going to get back to me.

So obviously I'm not signing anything until I get an answer. And I have the contact of an attorney if I don't get the "right" answer

The cleanest thing would be for them to add the payment amount to the package and we all move on. I don't plan on taking time off - going to get back into a good company ASAP so I'm not on the wrong side of the hiring freezes that hit in a few months when / if the recession I think we are already in gets "officially" called

Post Reply