Shaz's journal

[shaz]

In order to maintain a high level of interest in the reducing project, I have decided to try having theme months. This month is "things that are heavy relative to their size." So far I have given away 2 lead dragons, a shotput, and a discus. Next up is a bucket of rocks (petrified wood) and after that a small cast iron skillet. I will also continue giving away books because a box of books is so very heavy for its size.

[mooretrees]

Hilarious! I love the reframing of stuff in themes. It’s good to switch it up to keep the decluttering progressing. If I did it your way, I’d have categories like “so hopeful” “don’t ask” and “regret.”

Looking forward to new themes. Maybe weekly themes could be good as a way to speed it up? Depending on energy for this of course.

[shaz]

@mooretrees your themes require a level of personal honesty that I think might turn out to be an obstacle. I need easier themes. I hereby declare that next month's theme is brown things. I want less brown in my life.

And yeah, I only have enough energy for one theme per month. It is a lot of work to find good homes for objects.

[mountainFrugal]

Next up is a bucket of rocks (petrified wood)...

After wandering and finding many beautiful specimens I can see how you could easily collect an entire bucket! I opted for only photos, but I did carry some rocks for a while before letting go .

[shaz]

@mountainFrugal one bucket is just the ones I am prepared to get rid of at the moment. I have a truly ridiculous amount of petrified wood, mostly collected on my own property. I keep thinking I will learn lapidary skills and make jewelry out of it but haven't gotten around to it yet ...

[shaz]

My job recently has resembled the kind of computer game I find to be most compelling although the end game will probably be less satisfying because I won't get to march a massive army around and kill everyone who ever gave me attitude. The upside is that I have been in a flow state pretty often. The downside is that it consumes too much of my time and attention. This is exactly why I quit playing computer games.

[shaz]

June's reducing theme was brown. The brown things I got rid of are:

Magazine holders
Rolling pin
Oilskin duster
Picture frames
Jasper
Bed skirt
Books
Chocolate
Sheets and pillowcases
Eyeshadow

July's reducing theme will be things that are excessively breakable. This makes me a little sad that I already sold all my wineglasses.

Overall savings rate for June was 62%. Planned date for ceasing paid employment is 9 months away.

[Scott 2]

9 months goes by fast. Do you already have the retirement portfolio and draw down strategy planned?

I waited until after pulling the plug. In hindsight, that was not the correct order of operations. Implementing the new asset allocation was extremely stressful.

[shaz]

@Scott 2 that's a great question and the short answer is no. DH will have a pension that covers somewhere between all and half of our normal expenses depending on how health insurance plays out. I had retirement planned out to coincide with the end of the most expensive post-cancer-treatment monitoring but I just got sentenced to 3 more years of CT scans. I haven't yet figured out how that will impact finances. I'm still reeling a bit from the news although it really shouldn't be so surprising. I think we have over-saved and plan to move ahead with retiring anyway.

Are there resources that you found to be especially helpful when you were planning your portfolio and draw down strategy?

[Scott 2]

My sympathies on the additional monitoring. Medical and Dental care have been the most challenging aspect of our retirement. I've found great appreciation of the complexity hidden by corporate insurance.

Health questions also confuse the risk calculus. We often err on the side of spending, acknowledging the wisdom in enjoying our healthiest years.


I'm not sure how complex you want to get on the portfolio strategy.

For a broad picture, I took great value from Swedroe's book Your Complete Guide to a Successful & Secure Retirement. That's the book I gave to my parents, along with pointing them at a rich, broke, dead calculator.

For draw down strategy, I pulled heavily from McClung's Living Off Your Money. There's a thread on that. I also read the Early Retirement Now website, particularly the safe withdrawal series. Both of these were a slog. I spent a lot of time on Tyler's portfolio chats website. And I used my library to access Morningstar's portfolio visualizer.

However, in the end, we opted out of the complexity. Instead going for a simple 60/40 portfolio. Using a blend of US and Internal index funds. Starting allocations very similar to the Vanguard life strategy funds, but tax optimized. The nod to my learning, was adopting a rising equities glide path, along with a relatively low withdrawal rate.

We'd literally only invested in life strategy funds my entire career. So I was woefully unprepared to manage a more complex portfolio. My wife even less so. It was also the first time we ever used a shared budget, or had any real financial constraints at all. There was a lot to navigate, beyond investment allocation.

The 2022 draw down hit us hard, one of the worst performing years for that portfolio on record.

So definitely not an expert. But we've kept the course, adjusted our withdrawal rates accordingly and are doing ok now. The best part of the complex reading, was knowing I really didn't have skills for a better strategy. Especially in mid '22, when things felt dire. I was confident enough to do nothing, which probably saved us from even greater losses.


In hindsight, practicing all the new rules before work stopped, would've made the transition a lot easier. Especially the change to a constrained and shared budget. Learning to have those conversations well, is still ongoing. I think we just started to nail it in the last couple of months.

[shaz]

@Scott 2 thanks for the thoughtful reply and sharing your hard-earned experience. I added the books to my reading list.

I relied heavily on target date funds in my 401k until about 5 years ago. At that time I switched to an allocation that I think works better for my specific situation.

We have always had a shared and fairly constrained budget so I don't think that part will be a big change. I hope. I do think shifting from an accumulation mindset to a draw down mindset will be difficult. Watching our accounts grow is one way I relieve feelings of anxiety about many things. I have been following your various tactics for forcing yourself to spend and making mental notes.

[shaz]

I struggle a lot with how to handle health insurance if I don't get it through an employer. ACA plans seem to vary a lot from year to year, so it is difficult to predict if I can get an ACA plan that covers my current oncology team (and my current oncologist is the ONLY ONE locally with significant experience with my type of cancer). Finding out that I had cancer and then going through treatment scared the crap out of me. The part of me that is still shaking says stay employed so I can be sure I have health insurance that lets me continue on with this oncology team. The part of me that has been working toward retirement for a long time says go for it and figure out the medical issues later if the cancer comes back. At this point the only reason I am still working at paid employment is for health insurance.

[Scott 2]

In the 2.5 years since I've retired, my wife and I had more time together then any full decade prior. Continuing to work carries a big opportunity cost.


Keeping medical access is still a tough trade. Have you been able to confirm if your preferred team or facility is currently in network, with any plans offered on the exchange? Do you have any PPO options available?

In my state, one insurer covers a large minority of the insured. For the most part, large medical groups have no choice but to join their network. With the centralization of medical providers into large groups, fewer and fewer doctors are out of network.

This does require one pays for the most expensive silver plan, to have access to the broadest network. We're also fortunate to still have PPO options.

I did run into exceptions shopping my jaw surgery. Many surgeons were out of network, refusing insurance entirely. However - the surgery still went through major local hospitals, which were in network. So you'd end up with this split billing, making it expensive, but feasible to use the out of network surgeon.

In the end, I found an in network surgeon. Or at least they were in 2022. Fingers crossed that's still true in 2024. If not, I'll be paying a lot. There's maybe a $20-30k risk, I have little control over.

Given that I can still shop most medical services, and it's very unlikely the associated hospital is dropped from insurance, I'm tolerant of the risk. I've honestly had great access with my exchange based plan, better than my prior corporate insurance. But my state has robust offerings on the exchange.

[shaz]

@Scott 2 thanks you just gave me some ideas for next steps. I will call the oncology team's office on Monday, explain that I might be sourcing insurance through the exchange, and ask what the chances are that they will be in-network for a plan available through there.

You are so right about the opportunity cost of continued employment. Spending more time together while we can is a big motivator for both DH and I to retire soon.

[shaz]

July 2923 Update

The oncology office was not AT ALL helpful for figuring out if an ACA insurance plan can get the job done. I have decided to stop worrying about it and cross that bridge when I get there. I can afford to pay for my regular check ups out of pocket if necessary. If I have a recurrence I plan to go to one of the big cancer centers and those all accept many plans.

Savings rate = 58%
Months to planned retirement = 8

Animal-related expenses continue to trend up. I continue to regret having so many animals but abandoning them now isn't an option I can accept. They are getting much more expensive because they are old, which is a problem with a guaranteed end so I just need to ride it out.

The July reducing theme was things that are excessively breakable. On theme I reduced:

Lightbulbs
Glass hummingbird
China serving bowls
Picture frames with glass
Fancy shoes
Beaded necklaces
Crystal candlesticks
Vase

One thing that is interesting to me about this category is that I ended up getting rid of a number of things that I was keeping just because they were wedding gifts. I'm still processing the "past selves" aspect of letting go that @scott 2 pointed out last winter. It gets easier the more I practice.

In July we also reduced a lot of things that didn't fit the theme of excessively breakable, including: covers for patio furniture, duffel bags, laptop bag, day packs, extension cords, boots, sandals, 20 shirts (because I got 2 new ones and have a 1-in-10-out rule), baseball caps, placemats, butter knives, books, copies of all the magazines I ever worked on or was published in, coolers, griddle, candles, grill cover, photo albums, photos, winter coats and hats, nail polish, eye shadow, envelopes, ring binders, file folders, CDs, wooden hangers.

I sold enough items to cover our recreation costs for the summer. The rest I gave away by listing them for free.

I have been thinking about and noticing the many ways that objects given to DH and I by family members are a trap. So many of the items I have been reducing came to us that way - not just as wedding gifts but also as bags of stuff sent home with us every time we would visit, or large piles of stuff deposited in our garage as inheritances after relatives died. They are a trap because we feel guilty getting rid of family gifts and inheritances, and end up buried under things. They are also a trap because they lock us into ways of thinking and non-ideal solutions that we would never have implemented if they hadn't been given to us.

[Scott 2]

Great job continuing to declutter. I like to give Goodbye Things a listen, when I need a little motivation. I let 2 dozen yoga books go last month. That was a tough one. I was literally shaking. But the mental clarity is worth it.


The insurance problem strikes a nerve. I worked in the industry most of my career. I'm disgusted by how difficult it is to navigate. Back then, I had no idea. Now, I regret ever being associated with it.


The easy path, is to buy the most expensive silver plan on the exchange. Assuming you can structure income to hit the cost sharing bands, it's probably a reasonable deal. And it's unlikely a cheaper plan would have better networks.

In the worst case, you can manufacture a qualifying event (move, new job for you or spouse, etc.) to escape a bad plan. Then do better during the next open enrollment.


With sorting out providers and insurance, I've had my best luck starting from the insurance plan. I get the associated doctor network and a link to the provider finder for the insurer.

At that point it becomes feasible to search for provider name, office and specialty.

Then it becomes a game of working backwards. One doctor my wife uses, practices at two separate facilities, with two separate specialties. She's a rock star, top of her field. The care is almost zero cost at one facility, but totally unattainable at the other.

Sometimes, once you have a specific doctor network and insurer, the providers office can tell you if they are in network. They know who they've successfully billed.

Easy mode is when the parent medical group claims a blanket in-network status for the doctor network of your selected plan. That's how I had my hernia surgery this year. I did learn a risk is an out of network anesthesiologist that bills big $$$$. But that was made illegal this year - no surprises billing act.

There's also a middling scenario where all care at a small office bills through a senior provider, and the juniors aren't necessarily up to date on the provider finder. Trickier to navigate.

I've learned you cannot rely upon the provider comparison tools provide by government websites, like the exchange. They can be out of date or fail to distinguish between specialty / facility. When I briefly tried an HMO, my primary doctor was listed on the exchange as in network. But it turned out - not as a primary care provider. That one made me livid.

I have had luck asking medical billing departments which insurers give them the least problems. And providers which are insurers easiest to work with for pre auth. Since they're not being asked to recommend a specific plan, they become more open. I imagine a similar conversation could be had about formularies and step therapy, which could be more relevant for your health concerns

The confounder, is when corporations self fund plans, under a major insurer's umbrella. My dental experience with Cigna was wonderful - as an employee. It was hot garbage as an individual. To the point where my dentist wrote off $500 of charges, and I switched to their "preferred" insurer.


After learning to work the system, my medical care has never been better or more affordable. I have high hopes you'll find the same.

[shaz]

Thanks, @Scott 2 that's really helpful info.

One thing I have been thinking about is that given I have a 50% chance of cancer recurrence, it might make sense to move close to one of the major cancer centers once I don't have to be near my job, and structure my health insurance choices around that cancer center. I have low risk factors for any other health issues and the cancer care easily runs into 6 figure costs so it's going to be my main concern.

Re: the reducing, I define decluttering as reducing + organizing. Since I am already super organized I don't think of what I am doing as decluttering. Anyone (except maybe an ERE person) coming into my house would not think I need to reduce because everything is so nicely organized. In fact, one of the challenges for me is recognizing I need to reduce the organized stuff.

As I reduce I am confronting issues from my childhood. I think it is good to work through this stuff but it also is mentally and emotionally exhausting. I have realized that at least some of the chaos I grew up with came from the fact that my parents were probably a low level hoarders. I remember my mom screaming and throwing things at me when I would try to sort through toys to get rid of some. It's kind of sad that it has taken this long for me to finally realize it didn't mean there was something wrong with me and it doesn't mean I am a defective person if I don't want to keep things.

My parents were separated and reunited multiple times, plus divorced and remarried and divorced again. Every time they split there were huge fights - like throwing furniture at each other or pulling a gun and threatening to kill us all - over things like who got to keep the chest freezer or a mirror on the wall. They would tell me, "I don't care what happens to you as long as I get the stuff." It left me with a lot of confused ideas about belongings and self worth.

[blink2ce]

Hi Shaz, sorry to hear about your childhood. I have had great success with going to a therapist that uses EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS) modalities to resolve my own childhood trauma. My parents had a rage problem as well.

Link to description of EMDR: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/t ... dr-therapy
Link to description of Internal Family Systems: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/ther ... ms-therapy

The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) therapists will say that they can help you but they can't. Ask me how I know. LOL.

BTW, the Cleveland area has a world class hospital system and homes are quite affordable. I like it here.

[Scott 2]

That's the odd part about family. We're so immersed, seeing the dysfunction can take decades, let alone appreciating the generational quirks.


Policies available via the exchange tend to have state wide networks. So provided you were in the same state as a preferred cancer center, you ought to find acceptable coverage.

Once you hit Medicare age, things get much simpler. Provided one can afford it, original Medicare with a part G and a part D supplement is the obvious choice. Those networks are national, and the coverage is great.

Hospitals also have financial hardship forgiveness programs. I believe they are federally mandated, for reasons I cannot remember. Not always well advertised. But one's last ditch effort is to run up the debt, planning to plead hardship. The program is a charity, funded by the hospital. Often administered by the collections arm of the hospital. So it's part of an elaborate tax game. From what I can tell, some are only income tested, others are means tested. The one for my local medical group, claims one time forgiveness only. So you gotta make it count. But there are options before medical bankruptcy.

[shaz]

@blink2ce I have been considering trying EMDR. I'm not really sure what is holding me back. Thanks for the recommendation. I did try CBT many years ago and didn't find it useful.

Cleveland Clinic is one of the leading facilities for the type of cancer I have, and Cleveland is definitely on my short list for relocation. Unfortunately none of the top facilities are in my current state so I probably do need to relocate if I want one to be in-network.

@Scott 2 thanks for the additional info. I think it would be very difficult to choose to run up medical debt in anticipation of applying for hardship forgiveness because I have spent so many years very carefully not running up debt, but if the choice is to do it or die I expect I would do it. Right now only about $250k of our assets are not protected from bankruptcy so probably worst case scenario is treatment costs us $250k out of pocket but that's still to be avoided if possible. I've also researched reputable facilities in other countries where I could get the most common treatments for a fraction of the cost here.