Shaz's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
Scott 2
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by Scott 2 »

I find letting go of old identities to be the hardest part of reducing. At first, it was idealized versions of self. Then I learned, it's also the person I used to be. That one is a much stronger barrier. While I know at some point we give it all back, coming to terms is tough. Health issues forcing your hand is especially frustrating.

When I can shed the identity, disposing of the stuff becomes much easier.

shaz
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

@Scott 2 that's a helpful observation. Now that I think about it, I am holding onto some (too many) things that are part of past identities. Shedding the identities will be tough.

shaz
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

@avalok I would find it very frustrating to have to get rid of someone else's stuff. Congratulations on finishing that up. I hate when relatives dump their unwanted things on me and it would be even worse to have strangers do it.

@WRC I agree that once you achieve a certain level of clean and uncluttered, the reminder to be very selective in what you acquire is one of the biggest benefits to ongoing decluttering. Plus I really want to get my possessions reduced down to the point that it can all fit in a living quarters horse trailer.

avalok
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by avalok »

It wasn't so bad, in that (a) they left a lot of useful stuff (white goods, sofa, table) and (b) they didn't plan to do this, COVID got in the way. And it was my own fault to some extent because at the time I was in a scavenger, anything-could-be-useful mindset, so we didn't get rid of the unwanted stuff right away. Ridiculously we kept, for over a year, a granddaughter clock that infuriatingly would stop if someone walked past it in the right (wrong?) way. To this day, I do not know what I was thinking.

If you can fit all your stuff into a trailer, that would be very impressive. This is for you to go travelling with the horses?

shaz
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

@avalok, yes, DH and I want to travel with the horses for a few years, or until we find the right place to settle down. My latest health problem might preclude that but for now I am continuing to move ahead with that as the plan. If I wait until the last minute, I won't get rid of things responsibly so I am trying to reduce steadily over time.

shaz
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Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2021 7:05 pm
Location: Colorado, US

Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

November 2022 Update

FINANCIAL OVERVIEW
Mortgage - PITI 28% of total expenses
Horses 18%
Clothing 8%
Gas 7%
Gifts 7%
Groceries 6%
Cats 5%
Home maint. 5%
Utilities 3%

Debts = $71k remaining on the mortgage

Savings rate = 59%

Months to planned retirement - 13

EXPENSES NARRATIVE
Clothing—DH lost enough weight over the past couple of years that most of his clothes were too large. We had his suits tailored to fit properly and have been replacing other clothing items as he identifies that they are ones he needs. We have been donating 2 pieces of overly-large clothes for each right-sized replacement, so this also sort of fits under reducing. We spent 6 months checking thrift stores for the clothes he wanted in the right size but had limited luck with that.

Over the summer, DH and I put in a fair bit of work to identify which colors and styles/fit look best on each of us. This helped me recognize why I tend not to wear some clothing items that I think look good on the hanger and rather than continue to keep those around, I sold them. It has greatly simplified selecting DH’s replacement clothes because there is a lot less trial and error involved. Also it is helpful to recognize the difference between colors we like to look at, and colors that make us look good. If we are going to reduce down to a wardrobe that fits in a horse trailer, we would like all of the pieces to look good and go together as well as be very functional.

OTHER AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT
Health and Fitness—I got approved to work from home as often as I need to, up to 100%, because I can manage my health issues better on days I stay at home. I don’t feel like saying anything else about health or fitness this month.

Projects—DH and I replaced the bottom heating element in the oven after it burned out. This was way more difficult than I remember this fix being the last time I had to do it (different oven, 20 years ago). Apparently the added complexity of a convection oven has its downside.

I repaired all of the snow fence in preparation for winter. We have lengths of wooden snow fence in the pasture to catch as much moisture as possible during the winter. The grass grows much more abundantly near the snow fence. The wind tears the fence down no matter what we use, so we just use twine from bales of hay to tie it up and know we will need to cut down the old twine and replace it with new twine every year. It takes a couple of hours but it isn’t unpleasant work. Plastic fence would require less maintenance but I prefer to use wooden fence because deer are less likely to get trapped in it.

It’s kind of surprising how few house maintenance projects we have now. We bought this place below market price because it had a lot of deferred maintenance. We spent the first 5 years in the house DIYing the maintenance and now it’s a lot easier to keep up with new needs.

Reducing—I got rid of t-shirts that had large holes in them. Some went into the rag basket and some went into the trash.

Thanks to an insight from @Scott 2 I dug out some items that belonged to past identities and put them in the box of stuff to donate. Some of them even went straight in the trash because they are not worth donating. I don’t think I will try to sell the sentimental/past identities items because I have to get rid of them quickly or there is a risk I will decide to hold onto them. It is easy to rationalize keeping things from past identities and very difficult to fully release those identities. Now that it has been pointed out, I can see that I have kept all too many things that are part of past identities. Clearly this is a weakness of mine. There are still many things in this category that I will need to reduce but I end up sitting on the floor crying if I try to do too many at once.

I have been pulling books off the bookshelves, re-reading them, then deciding whether to keep or get rid of them. So far I have decided to get rid of about 75% of the ones I have re-read. I get rid of them by first taking them to work and offering them to anyone who wants them. Ones that don’t get taken immediately slowly get added to little free libraries. Hopefully I am not creating a disposal problem for someone else by doing this. I have looked into selling or trading some online but then I would have to go to the post office to ship them out and that isn’t easy to do during business hours. Usually DH stops off at the post office after hours on his way home from work to pick up our mail.

Other—I have been working to recognize, examine, and let go of some of the beliefs that I carry from my childhood. These have an impact on how I approach things like money and obligations that interfere with living a life that is consistent with my values.

The message I have always received from my family is that as the oldest child in my immediate family, my first obligation in life is to take care of family members to the exclusion of taking care of myself, my relationship with my husband, or things that I want and have worked for. I never really processed through the expectations using my adult brain, I just avoided them by moving away.

The beliefs I grew up with about money and success also need to be revised before I can be comfortable leaving the cave. It seems like I have been trying to eradicate these same buried beliefs for a while now. A goal for next month is to try a new approach since daylighting apparently is not sufficient.

GOALS FOR NEXT MONTH
  • Try a new approach for eradicating buried counterproductive beliefs.

mooretrees
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by mooretrees »

It's so interesting to read your updates. You have this steady approach to life that is soothing and engaging to follow along with. I think this longer path to decluttering (mind and physical spaces!( is likely to be more successful in the long run. I've gone through some big purges that were good for awhile but maybe didn't change the mindset of accumulation that caused the accumulation. Also, forcing yourself to do the good work of finding homes for your stuff does add more work, but means, usually, that you'll be much more thoughtful about what you bring into your life going forward.

I'm glad your work situation can give you the flexibility to better manage your health. The reality of a long term illness, or the recovering from one, is definitely a worry I have as DH and I age. How to set ourselves up to succeed if given an adverse health situation is still unclear to me. Other than being healthy now and doing a good job with money in the future?

ffj
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by ffj »

Just read through your journal. Very interesting.

I would like to applaud you for actually riding your horses. I know that sounds weird, but around here where I live everybody has horses and all these animals do every day is eat and walk around their pasture. They aren't worked, or ridden at all. We also have a horse racing industry which discards any non-performer while at the same time breeding the shit out of potential winners. The only people I see using their horses are trail riders and the Amish/Mennonite communities around me but you are much more likely to see horses as lawn ornaments.

shaz
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

@ffj horses as lawn ornaments is one of DH's pet peeves. I ride because it is my favorite thing to do and also because the exercise is good for the horses. My oldest horse is 27 and can still go hard for hours at a time but it takes very consistent work to keep him in shape.

DH doesn't love riding the way I do but he enjoys anything active and outdoorsy so he is happy to ride with me when I go out on trails or herd livestock. He is a lot less happy to spend time riding in an arena so we only do that on the rare occasion when I need to teach him how to do something new.

@mooretrees I feel simultaneously impatient to get to my target retirement date and also panicky that it is approaching so quickly and I haven't yet figured out health insurance or ... probably a thousand other things that I can't figure out precisely until the date gets closer. It's this weird in between time. I am trying to just keep chipping away at the things that I can do right now. Also I am trying not to flip out and quit my job from boredom. I'm too close to the end to start a new job.

I hope I will be much more thoughtful about what I acquire in the future. Part of the struggle is changing from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset.

Scott 2
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by Scott 2 »

Congrats on the work from home approval. That's an important victory.

Glad to hear the reducing is going well. We did a big purge transitioning into retirement. Tearing down my work from home setup was pivotal. I'd been at the desk for 10 years. It was a very tangible removal of my professional identity.

Something that helps me with books, is confirming if the library has it. If I already have access, especially via the e-book or audio book, parting with the physical book feels easier. Typically, the book is standing in as a trophy, for an idea the changed my life. I've yet to check any of my former books out from the library.

shaz
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

@Scott 2 I definitely have plans for tearing down both mine and DH's WFH setups as soon as we retire.

I already got rid of all the books the library has. Unfortunately I have a large stash of old science fiction that is no longer in print. I think this is another case of the past identities problem. I doubt I would get much out of rereading the books at this point but they were influential at an earlier stage of life so it is hard to let go of them. Also I fear that because they are old no one will see their value and they will end up being thrown out. I will keep working on the internal letting go that leads to external letting go.

shaz
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

Some thoughts about my job …

For the past year, I have been very open at work about my intention to retire in 2024. This has resulted in interesting conversations that have given me the confidence to be more open about my "weird" behaviors that make early retirement possible. I have been pleasantly surprised by how well the weirdness has been accepted.

I look 10 - 15 years younger than I am so co-workers who don't know me well assume I am retiring very (one might say extremely?) early. I'm not sure if they believe I am serious about 2024. Ones who know me well are around my own age, have no idea how they will get themselves to a position where they can retire, and want me to share the secret formula. These people bring almost every conversation around to how I got to this point.

Our CEO mostly wants to figure out how to manipulate me into staying on. But we also have some good conversations about how to reduce consumption and why I hate being given unneeded things.

I had my annual review today and used the chance to remind everyone that I plan to retire in 13 months. Apparently the company is prepared to let me switch to 100% remote work from a place not in the local area and possibly also part time work if I want to keep on after DH retires. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand it could ease the transition. On the other hand, golden handcuffs really are a thing.

avalok
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by avalok »

It is great to hear that your co-workers have been engaging with your intention to retire. I would expect a mixture of disbelief, suspicion and excusing, but then perhaps that is a misjudgement.

Regarding the offer for you to stay on remote: as you have 13 months left, do you think you could leave this decision until quite late on? It sounds like you've the leverage here to be able to leave them hanging for a while. It sounds like the sort of decision that needs a few months to be mulled over.

shaz
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Location: Colorado, US

Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

@avalok you are correct that I should wait to make any decisions. It is difficult for me to just let it be but I can certainly try. I will wrap up a big project in April. At that time I would like to have an idea if I plan to stay on past January 2024 because I don't want to launch into anything big that would extend beyond that if I don't plan to see it through.

shaz
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Location: Colorado, US

Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

Reducing update: I decided to commit to separating from office life and donated all but my 3 favorite office-wear outfits (1 pair of pants, 1 jacket, 3 tops).

basuragomi
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by basuragomi »

Tearing down the WFH setup was a pretty good feeling. From the way you're posting it seems like you're convincing yourself to get out far earlier than 2024 though.

shaz
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Location: Colorado, US

Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

@basuragoni well you always have to be ready, right?

horsewoman
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by horsewoman »

I finally managed to read through your journal - another horsewoman, how neat!
Your plan of permanently travelling with the horses sounds to equal parts wonderful and terrifying :)
Here in Germany this would not be feasible I guess, because everything is pretty densely populated. 25 years ago people were happy to see horses passing through their street, and if droppings fell, someone ran out with a shovel to snatch them for their garden. These days, most people are annoyed by horses and will yell at you if the horse poops. I guess you don't have these problems up in the mountains!

shaz
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Location: Colorado, US

Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

@horsewoman I would plan to transport the horses from one location to another using a trailer. There are quite a few locations in this country where you are allowed to camp with horses and ride on trails. The places range from private facilities where you pay to keep the horses in a barn and have electrical, water, and sewer hookups for your trailer, to remote public lands where you can set up a portable corral and stay for a couple of weeks at a time for free (but no water, etc.). Also people who compete in rodeos professionally often spend a large part of the year traveling with their horses from one rodeo facility to the next, and then spend the winter someplace south such as Texas or Arizona.

Occasionally a person rides across the country on horseback, and that does present challenges of how to deal with droppings and such. I am not that brave and prefer to stay in areas where horses are welcome.

shaz
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Re: Shaz's journal

Post by shaz »

Most of the people in DH's and my social circle have been working toward early retirement. We got slowed down when I was sick so now roughly 3/4 of our friends have retired and are dispersing while we still have a year to go. It feels a lot like being at the end of your junior year of college knowing you will be back next year but many of your friends are leaving never to return. It is terrifying not knowing how things will work out for us or what kind of new community we will build for ourselves.

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