Bz5 Journal
Re: Bz5 Journal
What would you use a generator for if you just had a bike and a tent?
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unemployable
- Posts: 1007
- Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:36 am
- Location: Homeless
Re: Bz5 Journal
Yeah, to anyone who tells me to show more compassion or empathy my response is, you first.
Otherwise I'm not sure some of your problems are ones we can help you solve. Although earning more money never hurts.
Re: Bz5 Journal
@ unemployable
I agree. When someone says to show more compassion or empathy, a good response is to tell themyou first. it has happened to me before.
Perhaps I do not have context that i require to understand the fitment of the above statement. Could you elaborate? I do not believe I called anyone out there. these are just brainstorms into my own Ere Journal.
You are also very correct in that there are many problems that you cannot help me solve.
@ the generator would be for charging electronics and heat.
I agree. When someone says to show more compassion or empathy, a good response is to tell themyou first. it has happened to me before.
Perhaps I do not have context that i require to understand the fitment of the above statement. Could you elaborate? I do not believe I called anyone out there. these are just brainstorms into my own Ere Journal.
You are also very correct in that there are many problems that you cannot help me solve.
@ the generator would be for charging electronics and heat.
Re: Bz5 Journal
My formatting failed. I was trying to say that i agree with you Unemployabe
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unemployable
- Posts: 1007
- Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:36 am
- Location: Homeless
Re: Bz5 Journal
I spent my early 20s in a state of ennui that... I won't claim is the same as what you're going through but I'm reminded. Then I got a job and then a second job and made money. It gets better.
Re: Bz5 Journal
I am actually glad you said something here. I have often said to people that they should maintain a state of rationality.
I had to look up what ennui was. That is exactly how i feel. i just want it to end. The feeling. I feel emotional pain like physical pain. it got me thinking that if i am using the ennui state to inform my thinking, then that is inherently not rational in of itself and would end the own exercise.
So how do i feel better? I wonder. perhaps it is hot high quality food to start. i can guarantee that.
i also laid on my truck shifter today. bent it some. been forcibg it into gear a little. i have been looking at small motorcycles too. i could take a cb 300 everywhere, with generator and a nice tent. i would like that level of mechanical simplicity. because a truck like mine is not luxurious at all.
I had to look up what ennui was. That is exactly how i feel. i just want it to end. The feeling. I feel emotional pain like physical pain. it got me thinking that if i am using the ennui state to inform my thinking, then that is inherently not rational in of itself and would end the own exercise.
So how do i feel better? I wonder. perhaps it is hot high quality food to start. i can guarantee that.
i also laid on my truck shifter today. bent it some. been forcibg it into gear a little. i have been looking at small motorcycles too. i could take a cb 300 everywhere, with generator and a nice tent. i would like that level of mechanical simplicity. because a truck like mine is not luxurious at all.
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Mister Imperceptible
- Posts: 1669
- Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:18 pm
Re: Bz5 Journal
You’re so fucking tortured I love it
Re: Bz5 Journal
I think if you have the funds, go for the bicycle touring with a tent. Constant exercise, zero job stress, and the freedom to be well-rested - and therefore the ability to think things through without the disability that the lack of regular, consistent sleep causes.
And frankly I'd skip the generator. At least to start, just chart your travels to follow the good weather, so you don't have to worry about heat. You can always find electricity for charging your electronics at restaurants, libraries, etc.
And frankly I'd skip the generator. At least to start, just chart your travels to follow the good weather, so you don't have to worry about heat. You can always find electricity for charging your electronics at restaurants, libraries, etc.
Re: Bz5 Journal
Embedded systems Engineer. That sums up what i am working on as a person.
Now the meat of the matter.
Now the meat of the matter.
Re: Bz5 Journal
James Altucher writes about this exercise where you write 10 ideas a day. I find variations of this exercise helpful, or at least fun, to do from time to time. It helps expand your notion of what's possible.
1. Sell your truck (can probably get a good price for a low-mileage toyota of that vintage!), quit your jobs, get a bicycle, and live the life of a two-wheeled hobo. (Don't get a generator!)
2. Sell your truck, get a cheap apt near current job(s), bank up some savings for a year. Take time to sleep well, get physical and mental health stabilized, then make a move from stronger position.
3. Quit jobs, drive to a lower CoL area, find a job that doesn't suck as much (word on the street is there are lots of jobs to be found out there...), sell truck, rent even cheaper apt, bank savings for a year while studying programming and getting mental and physical health in order.
4. Get on workaway.com and find something that sounds cool and not too far away. Quit jobs, sell truck, ride bike to the workaway. You'll have time to study programming while having a super low CoL.
5. Sell truck, go to mexico (cheap flight or ride bike there), live super cheap and study programming, living off savings.
6. [this is getting harder to think of other ideas... which is kind of the point of the exercise!] Keep doing what you're doing now, but quit your jobs that suck and get job(s) that suck less.
7. Sell truck, buy Prius, sleep horizontal. (Don't buy a generator.)
8. Become bicycle or moto dirtbag, pick up short term work when you need cash, and start working on your memoir.
9. okay I ran out.
Emergency dirtbag math:
.You can get at least a few grand for your truck. It's a boat anchor around your neck at $800/mo. Admit that it's not your dream truck, because your dream truck wouldn't do that shit to you (I say this as the owner of an elderly Tacoma myself).
.Ditch your mobile plan and get something <=$35.
.Learn to eat for <$200 (easy), or <$100(pretty much have to be vegetarian or good at harvesting roadkill...).
.Get your transportation/shelter costs down to almost nothing by either living off a bike, or staying at a workaway type thing.
.Your monthly CoL is now <$400 easily. You have a year or two's living expenses. Chill a little and get your health sorted, get some breathing room. It's difficult to plan effectively while sleeping on top of a stickshift.
1. Sell your truck (can probably get a good price for a low-mileage toyota of that vintage!), quit your jobs, get a bicycle, and live the life of a two-wheeled hobo. (Don't get a generator!)
2. Sell your truck, get a cheap apt near current job(s), bank up some savings for a year. Take time to sleep well, get physical and mental health stabilized, then make a move from stronger position.
3. Quit jobs, drive to a lower CoL area, find a job that doesn't suck as much (word on the street is there are lots of jobs to be found out there...), sell truck, rent even cheaper apt, bank savings for a year while studying programming and getting mental and physical health in order.
4. Get on workaway.com and find something that sounds cool and not too far away. Quit jobs, sell truck, ride bike to the workaway. You'll have time to study programming while having a super low CoL.
5. Sell truck, go to mexico (cheap flight or ride bike there), live super cheap and study programming, living off savings.
6. [this is getting harder to think of other ideas... which is kind of the point of the exercise!] Keep doing what you're doing now, but quit your jobs that suck and get job(s) that suck less.
7. Sell truck, buy Prius, sleep horizontal. (Don't buy a generator.)
8. Become bicycle or moto dirtbag, pick up short term work when you need cash, and start working on your memoir.
9. okay I ran out.
Emergency dirtbag math:
.You can get at least a few grand for your truck. It's a boat anchor around your neck at $800/mo. Admit that it's not your dream truck, because your dream truck wouldn't do that shit to you (I say this as the owner of an elderly Tacoma myself).
.Ditch your mobile plan and get something <=$35.
.Learn to eat for <$200 (easy), or <$100(pretty much have to be vegetarian or good at harvesting roadkill...).
.Get your transportation/shelter costs down to almost nothing by either living off a bike, or staying at a workaway type thing.
.Your monthly CoL is now <$400 easily. You have a year or two's living expenses. Chill a little and get your health sorted, get some breathing room. It's difficult to plan effectively while sleeping on top of a stickshift.
Re: Bz5 Journal
Axelheyst,
I feel a great sense of clarity.
My goal was always to bike pack around the globe. It was the most efficient option and the funnest.
The only thing holding me to this car is me. Like you said, it isn't even my dream car. The Buhanka is better.
What also holds me to this car is selling it means I have to admit how much I put into it that is gone. So admitting that
8500 for truck
800 for ranger topper
1300 in flatbed metal
1200 in parts
1400 in personal labor
1400 in gasoline relocating to CA.
Hours and hours of my time researching which parts make the car better at off road travel. 500 hours.
Daily crushing worry of this car being hit by another car. Which is the worst part.
900 in an eu1000i, i bought it before i really began thinking about FI.
Please somebody else add those numbers up for me, i can't bear to do it.
I thought having a car would make me free, but it has imprisoned me to the wage slave boss more.
I could be around the world right now on that money i laid down.
I feel a great sense of clarity.
My goal was always to bike pack around the globe. It was the most efficient option and the funnest.
The only thing holding me to this car is me. Like you said, it isn't even my dream car. The Buhanka is better.
What also holds me to this car is selling it means I have to admit how much I put into it that is gone. So admitting that
8500 for truck
800 for ranger topper
1300 in flatbed metal
1200 in parts
1400 in personal labor
1400 in gasoline relocating to CA.
Hours and hours of my time researching which parts make the car better at off road travel. 500 hours.
Daily crushing worry of this car being hit by another car. Which is the worst part.
900 in an eu1000i, i bought it before i really began thinking about FI.
Please somebody else add those numbers up for me, i can't bear to do it.
I thought having a car would make me free, but it has imprisoned me to the wage slave boss more.
I could be around the world right now on that money i laid down.
Re: Bz5 Journal
I have NO amnemites in this car.
NO ac
no insulation, it's as if i was in a tent
No good power systems. Only 60 amp alternator.
I only use the car to charge a computer and a phone.
Like you all said, on the bike I could work out my body constantly, and study in libraries as much as i want.
This has to be my decision. I know there is no God, or other people helping really, and I am not worth helping financially right now because of how I am owning a car. I need my time back.
This is a pretty good way to get that time back.
NO ac
no insulation, it's as if i was in a tent
No good power systems. Only 60 amp alternator.
I only use the car to charge a computer and a phone.
Like you all said, on the bike I could work out my body constantly, and study in libraries as much as i want.
This has to be my decision. I know there is no God, or other people helping really, and I am not worth helping financially right now because of how I am owning a car. I need my time back.
This is a pretty good way to get that time back.
Re: Bz5 Journal
Well, time to buy a bivy, tarp and excellent sleeping bag and start sleeping in that.
I need to put another chain on my Trek 730.
I need to put another chain on my Trek 730.
Re: Bz5 Journal
I will acclimate fast to the tent. I'll be able to lay down!
Re: Bz5 Journal
For what it’s worth I spent all of July and August sleeping in a tent. Took less than a week for it to feel normal. I now can’t sleep well on a normal mattress (at this moment I sleep on my zlite on the floor of the house I’m crashing, with a wadded up sweater for a pillow. And I sleep like a baby).
No need to add the numbers up, money isn’t real and you’d just use it to beat yourself up with. You did what you had to to get out of a shit situation. Good! *My* “wasted money” number is in the six figures. We’ve all sunk resources into paths that didn’t pan out. “Good decisions are the result of experience, and experience is the result of bad decisions.” You’re only 27 and you have an ERE journal: you’re way ahead of the game. Brush it off and think forward.
No need to add the numbers up, money isn’t real and you’d just use it to beat yourself up with. You did what you had to to get out of a shit situation. Good! *My* “wasted money” number is in the six figures. We’ve all sunk resources into paths that didn’t pan out. “Good decisions are the result of experience, and experience is the result of bad decisions.” You’re only 27 and you have an ERE journal: you’re way ahead of the game. Brush it off and think forward.
Re: Bz5 Journal
Until you sell your truck, you just need a sleeping bag and sleeping pad (or piece of foam) so that you can sleep comfortably in the truck bed.
I will echo what others said - your first priority should be getting a sufficient quantity of high-quality sleep. You can't reliably make good decisions until you are no longer sleep-deprived.
Once you are getting good sleep, it sounds like your next priority should be exercise. In addition to the obvious benefits for your body, exercise helps sort out your brain chemistry which can improve your mood and help you think more clearly.
When was the last time you had a living situation that was safe and healthy? If the answer is "never as an adult" then maybe you need to try something a little more mainstream until you master more of the basic skills involved in taking care of yourself. Thriving while living in a car or pickup truck takes some high level skills.
There's no need to beat yourself up about sunk costs in the truck. That's a relatively low cost for some valuable life lessons, and you are far from the first person to find that the vehicle they thought would provide freedom is really a dead weight holding them back. In fact, I think that experience is pretty much obligatory in your 20s.
I will echo what others said - your first priority should be getting a sufficient quantity of high-quality sleep. You can't reliably make good decisions until you are no longer sleep-deprived.
Once you are getting good sleep, it sounds like your next priority should be exercise. In addition to the obvious benefits for your body, exercise helps sort out your brain chemistry which can improve your mood and help you think more clearly.
When was the last time you had a living situation that was safe and healthy? If the answer is "never as an adult" then maybe you need to try something a little more mainstream until you master more of the basic skills involved in taking care of yourself. Thriving while living in a car or pickup truck takes some high level skills.
There's no need to beat yourself up about sunk costs in the truck. That's a relatively low cost for some valuable life lessons, and you are far from the first person to find that the vehicle they thought would provide freedom is really a dead weight holding them back. In fact, I think that experience is pretty much obligatory in your 20s.
Re: Bz5 Journal
Based on where I am at as a human being, a year off of working for the maniacal religious (who hide themselves in our secular society)
would do wonders for my future as a human being.
I have had living situations that are safe and healthy. I have not had a employment situation that was healthy, ever. I have been working 70 hours or so for several months. My ankles hurt, but they aren't that bad.
I need money to buy extra time as a person. I need to know that for 365 days I don't have to answer to a boss at all. I want to answer to my sense of what is important.
would do wonders for my future as a human being.
I have had living situations that are safe and healthy. I have not had a employment situation that was healthy, ever. I have been working 70 hours or so for several months. My ankles hurt, but they aren't that bad.
I need money to buy extra time as a person. I need to know that for 365 days I don't have to answer to a boss at all. I want to answer to my sense of what is important.
Re: Bz5 Journal
I have confidence that there is an employer out there who is sane. I have more than a good work ethic, it is my only life at this point. It's time to work on myself 70 hours per week.
Re: Bz5 Journal
The warmest place in the USA in winter is Hawaii. A plane ticket is 139. I would love to stay there over winter. It is easy to bike pack when the weather is good.