Crusader's Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
Crusader
Posts: 342
Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2020 11:16 pm
Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

Well, so much for the food prepping commitment. I ran out of time on the weekend and it was either going to a friend's house for a movie night involving a movie with lots of lesbian sex (Blue Is the Warmest Colour), or staying home and cooking, so... yeah.

On the other hand, I have been consistently spending about an hour each day on ERE-related stuff. Right now, that involves selling off a bunch of stuff that I need to sell for more decluttering (my late father's old camera collection, my own dSRL camera and lenses, my digital piano that I never learned how to play, and possibly my desktop computer that I don't really need). I have only gotten about $200 from all this and I am beginning to think that all this work is not worth it and I should just donate it somewhere... if anyone actually wants this junk.

Crusader
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Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2020 11:16 pm
Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

ERE-related projects to be done in the near future:
-> more decluttering (especially clothes)
-> cook all food at home
-> implement GTD for ERE but also life and work

Crusader
Posts: 342
Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2020 11:16 pm
Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

Weekly update: I've been consistently spending about an hour a day on average working on ERE projects. I am still in the process of selling the stuff I don't need. I am not in a rush to sell all my junk immediately, so I'll just keep it posted in case it doesn't get sold and just put it away. Eventually, as a later project, I do want to do major decluttering again. I've been spending a lot of time at work, and I am not happy about that. I need to implement a GTD system both for my work and personal life ASAP. That will be my next project. Also, finally started cooking again.

Crusader
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Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

November 2022 - $2666 (month 25/60)

Weekly update: Well, this month, I have completely dropped the ball in the area of: eating out. I spent $582 for eating out, which is unacceptable. I think that if I insisted to only eat food that I make at home (apart from the occasional social gathering), AND I stopped drinking alcohol when out socializing, I would easily be able to reach my <$2000 per month goal. I don't think I am quite ready to stop drinking socially, but I'll make it a goal not to eat out at all.

In terms of other stuff, I've began reading about GTD. I gave up on the book (it's way too long), and just focused on tutorials I found online, and I am just about ready to implement it in Outlook for work. Not sure about how to implement it for my personal life, but I'll keep my personal stuff in Outlook as well for now.
not sure wrote:
Mon Nov 28, 2022 9:00 pm
@ertyu, I try to look for "red threads" at work - things that I like about the job/workplace, however small or rare they may be on a given day.
For example, a colleague I like, nice smell of coffee from the coffee machine in the morning (free!), a customer or co-worker who says "thank you".
They help me get through the day, especially when the end date is known.
I really like this idea that someone posted in another journal, so I'll steal it. Even though I hate working and it stresses me out, GIVEN that I have to work, I want to focus on some of the positives:
-> I am learning a lot in my new role... a new product, how to manage people, how to manage time, how to interview people etc.
-> My peers seem to like me, and I like them.
-> My boss seems to trust me and let me do whatever I want without micromanaging me.
-> the ability to "volunteer" for stuff that doesn't feel like work (e.g. pick the music playlist for the holiday potluck) and get credit for it
-> I have made friends with lots of people at the gym. We have our own social club of sorts.
-> I work for a large company with lots of clubs and activities (today, I stayed after work for a board game meetup)
-> free coffee and snacks
-> nice laptop

ertyu
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by ertyu »

When it comes to "focusing on the positives" I got a lot of traction from another BSFT exercise: don't focus on "gratitude" or "the positives" but on the things in your life that you'd like to have stay as they are/ This pretty much blew my mind the first time I read it. cuts through many psychological blocks and results in a much more grounded sense of appreciation -- vs. gratitude exercises which always feel a bit forced, at least to me.

Thank you also for the "what would you be doing if you liked your job" question, that was an excellent question as well. I didn't yet respond to that post in the journal but i've been thinking about it on and off over the past couple of days

Crusader
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Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

I have been thinking about ertyu's thought experiment ever since I read it. One thing that I keep thinking about is that I wish my rent to stay as low as it is in Toronto. I have been living in this apartment for over 10 years, and since it's an old building, it's rent controlled. The rent for the same apartment (although with renovated kitchen and bathroom elements), is ~$1000 more expensive per month. I definitely don't want this to change.

I also don't want my health to change for the worse. I got plantar fasciitis out of the blue (probably because I like doing long walks, hikes and I also started playing pickleball before I got it), and although it seems to be finally getting better, for weeks I've been unable to do all the physical activity I wanted to, and it really makes you wonder what we take for granted.

Finally, I don't want to give up my Canadian residence and passport/citizenship. Living in a country that has free-ish healthcare is pretty sweet.

Another thing that happened over the last week is that out of the blue, a dance school that I frequented announced that they are looking for dance teachers, and I decided that I'll apply. I think it would be a perfect part time job that gets me out of the house and allows me to develop new skills (public speaking, leadership etc... I was always envious of those people who can do that seemingly naturally and I see this as an opportunity to learn those skills)

Regarding work and burnout, I decided to say "fuck it" on Friday and I basically did nothing, other than go to the gym, teach a sample salsa class at that same gym, help my friend with her CV and go for Korean BBQ with a collogue. But I also started implementing my practice of leaving the laptop at work as well as the GTD system both at work and home (now that I've read about it in detail). I think that with GTD + laptop staying at work, I will be able to avoid burnout, we'll see.

AxelHeyst
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by AxelHeyst »

The dance gig sounds like an amazing complement to your life, looking forward to hearing how that goes!

Crusader
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Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

I applied to the dance gig. I still think that I won't get it, but at least I planted a seed in my mind. Also, if it doesn't happen now, I think it will in the future. As part of my application, I had to film myself teaching a class, and I did, at the work gym, and the fitness coordinator wants me to teach a dance class starting January on the volunteer basis. Even if I don't get paid, I think this is a great opportunity to develop some skills. In addition, my other friend that I wanted to demo a dance with, who has a dance school, told me that if I play my cards right, and do this teacher's training course with some international hotshot, I'll be able to teach at her school. She did the course herself, and everyone else that teaches at her school, so I don't think she is bullshitting.

I can't help but wonder how important social capital is and why have I been ignoring it so far in my life? The reason why I got the management job so easily when my boss retired is that I was friends with my boss. And the reason why the fitness coordinator trusts me to teach the dance class is because we are friends. And the reason why the dance school owner is encouraging me to train so that I can teach at her school is because she has known me for years. When I talked to some of my management peers and ask them how they got where they are, there is often a component of "I got recommended by X because we were friends and Y hired me on the spot because they trusted X". The reason why I am going easy on the new guy at my team is although he hasn't contributed anything after 2 months, he has a good attitude and is nice to work with.

My next big "to-do" is to start cooking properly and conquer the "eating out" problem.

Crusader
Posts: 342
Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2020 11:16 pm
Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

Weekly check-in:

Well, I didn't get the dance gig. But, I did sign up for the teacher training course that starts next year. Other than that, I've been taking it easy at work as I don't want to burn out (everyone is going on vacation this week anyway). I am looking forward to my own vacation. I'll be going to visit my mom in Serbia for 2 weeks, but in there I will squeeze in a trip to Barcelona for a few days with 2 friends.

My GTD system is going strong (I just finished my weekly review/planning). In terms of ERE projects, I am scheduling to read the Antifragile book over the holidays, as well as try to lose some weight (not doing much activity due to my plantar fasciitis that is finally going away doesn't help). I also signed up on whim to sing live karaoke (with a band) on Sunday. I consider this an exercise of getting out of my comfort zone, and a reason to work on learning how to sing a song properly (I am sure I'll still suck).

mooretrees
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by mooretrees »

Well, all the karaoke I’ve ever done has been awful and sometimes, that’s the point of it! Enjoy it. Interesting that you responded to not getting the dancing job by pursuing the training to get the next dance gig! Dancing seems like a great way to get out there socially and exercise at the same time.

Crusader
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

Ha, thanks. I am supposed to be singing "Losing my Religion" by REM, and a Serbian song (this will happen on my vacation in Serbia).

I also forgot to mention... I met a cool guy who I think would be able to provide some part time gigs (he has a renovations company, as is an aspiring DJ). However, he is one of those "I didn't get vaccinated" because "building up natural immunity" people (while being a borderline alcoholic), so I am not sure I would want to work for him. Maybe I'll revisit next year when my plantar fasciitis is completely gone.

Crusader
Posts: 342
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Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

Weekly update: Well, I sang live karaoke and I think I sucked, but it was interesting enough that it made me get curious about music again. I am not sure exactly how to approach this, but something to ponder after my vacation. I have a friend who sometimes sings at Serbian diaspora gatherings, and maybe she can give me some tips. Who knows, she might need a male vocalist. It turns out that my hobbies for the next little while will be music in some form, as well as dance.

I am in vacation mode right now, so I am not doing much. Helping out my mom with chores and seeing friends here and there. I can't help but think that if I were ERE and I lived in Serbia with no obligations, I would be bored out of my mind (especially as my usual friends have all started families or at least serious relationships).

Crusader
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

Weekly update (I missed last week): Well, I was busy visiting Barcelona with my friend to think about ERE, so I dare not calculate my December expenses yet. But, in the spirit of the New Year, the days of debauchery are over, and I want to seriously focus on minimizing my spending. I bought some dance classes to keep me busy over the next months (well, I am also helping out in some as an "assistant" instead of paying for them, so that's great), but I think I have a shot of spending <$2000 a month (this includes rent) on average this year. Going forward, I will track expenses on a weekly basis so that I reduce the feedback loop of intervention.

For the next few weeks, I want to get into the habit of cooking all food at home, and I will try to stop drinking (another source of spending and a potential health issue). So, over the next week, I'll focus on being a teetotaler (if https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Gossow can do it, so can I), cooking and tracking my expenses. Back to basics, I guess.

AxelHeyst
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by AxelHeyst »

Angela Gossow!! \m/ \m/ Oh man, Doomsday machine. Taking back my soul. mmph. I think I learned at least half of fluid dynamics to that album.

Right on with the teetotaling. Every time I do it (like now) I'm like... why do I even drink at all the rest of the year?

Crusader
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Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

Weekly update

Here are the things I did well:
- I had at least 3 opportunities to buy alcohol at a bar or restaurant, and I didn't. (One of those opportunities, I was with some friends with whom I definitely used to drink in the past.) I have a feeling that not drinking alcohol will be relatively easy for me, except when I visit my family and friends in Serbia. That will be the real test.
- I sold a bunch more stuff that I don't need from my apartment. Right now, I have only one working computer, and that's my work laptop. I find this very liberating as it's limiting my screen time. I noticed that I began to "live" more and just became more social.
- I started taking public transport to work. I am trying to minimize the use of my car. So far, I find it refreshing as I have a lot of podcasts that I want to catch up on. An added benefit is that I have a hard start and stop at work.
- I did a but of DIY repair on my computers. I repasted my laptop CPU (and it made such a difference), and I diagnosed why my mini PC is barely working... the fan seems to be broken, so I ordered one from AliExpress to try to fix it.

Here are the things I didn't do so well:
- I cooked some food at home, but I still had some eating out.
- I didn't track expenses. A ballpark figure that I am thinking of is that if I don't account for rent, car insurance, Internet, charity and Patreon donations, airplane tickets when I travel and dance classes, I will aim to spend no more than $100 per week.

Over the next week, I'll focus on tracking expenses and not eating out (i.e. cooking everything on my own), in addition to continuing to take public transport to work and not drink alcohol.

Overall, I am feeling motivated to develop more software engineering skills. I am getting a bit bored of being manager, but we'll see how things progress. The idea of being a "renaissance man" in IT resonates with me as my skill set is highly specialized.

ertyu
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by ertyu »

Crusader wrote:
Wed Jan 18, 2023 10:39 pm
I have a feeling that not drinking alcohol will be relatively easy for me, except when I visit my family and friends in Serbia. That will be the real test.
Bahahaha -- as another slav, godspeed :lol:

I've had more success with, "I'm conducting an experiment what's gonna happen if I stopped drinking for a year" than "I don't drink anymore." I don't drink anymore causes everyone to worry about you thinking that you're somehow depriving your soul from the true joys of life and not living life to the fullest, and it's their solemn duty as a friend to get you to stop torturing yourself like that :lol:

Pro tip -- stay away grom any uncles, grandpas, and so on that brew their own slivovica or risk offending them mortally by turning it down :lol: :lol:

Do keep us posted how it goes :D

mooretrees
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by mooretrees »

Nice update! I’ve only had limited periods when I used public transport for commuting and I always liked it. Great time to listen to podcasts and avoid the other people 😜.

Crusader
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Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

Weekly update:
- I started tracking expenses again: I spent $191.41 over the last week (includes groceries and eating out)
- It took me a few days, but since Monday, I've been only been eating food at home.
- Still taking public transport
- Still not drinking
- Cleaned up/rearranged my apartment (furniture). It really improves my mood when my house is clean and minimalistic.

I don't really find value in tracking every single expense, so I've been thinking about what to do in the long term, and I settled on the following:
- Have a debit card where I put $100/week which is used for expenses I want to keep in check. As long as there is balance on there, I can spend it. This is used for social activities, eating out, gas, clothes and miscellaneous things.
- Groceries, rent, public transport, specific expensive hobbies (right now, that's dance classes), Internet, car repair and public transport will be tracked separately on a monthly basis.

Crusader
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

My idea of putting "allowance money" for non-essential expenses to my prepaid debit card seems to be working. I am sticking with $100 per week (this includes gas money but excludes public transportation). I spent exactly $100 last week from this money, but I intend this debit card balance to slowly grow in case I need to buy something bigger.

I ate mostly food that I cooked at home and took public transport to work more times than taking my car. I think that my routine can be:
Monday -> drive to work
Tuesday -> Thursday -> take the bus
Friday -> work from home

Still not drinking alcohol.

Other than that, I am listening to Taleb's Antifragile for the MMG. He has some interesting ideas I resonate with, but I don't really get the whole fascination with him. It seems to be a book with a lot of opinions, without much evidence to back it up (or, I should say, cherrypicked evidence).

Crusader
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Re: Crusader's Journal

Post by Crusader »

Weekly update.

I am thinking more and more what I want my ERE goals to be for the next little while. Since I've failed with limiting expenses in the past year, I don't want to fail again. Setting aside some allowance money seems to be working, and $100 seems to be a good base amount. I am thinking that the system will be the following...

-> Split all expenses into 3 categories:
1) base expenses - rent, Internet, phone, food + cleaning supplies, public transport, car insurance and repairs, miscellaneous (e.g. passport renewal fee)
2) normal expenses - eating out, gas money, dating, entertainment, clothes, gifts.
3) luxury expenses - travel (if not included in normal expenses, so transport, accommodation, events...), dance classes, charity (this includes Patreon)
-> Keep track of the cumulative base + normal expenses each month. The goal is to have the total be $2000 per month.
-> Each Wednesday, put $100 into the "allowance" account, unless I already blew the total base + normal budget of $2000 for that month.
-> At the end of the month, if there is any money left in the budget, put that money into the allowance account to make the expenses for the month $2000.

The only problem I see with this is that if the allowance account grows each month, this system won't keep me from doing well and then suddenly spending a bunch of money one week. An alternative system would be if I were to have an "overflow" allowance account, but that would make the whole system unnecessarily complicated, without a clear benefit. I'll think about my system some more.

One thing that I also intend to track is medical expenses, even though I don't pay out of pocket for them (and subsequently they won't be included in the budget). I also have a bunch of rewards points collected that I can spend, and if that happens, the true cost will be tracked.
------------------

If I zoom in, I've been doing great with my spending (no eating out alone, no alcohol, taking public transport). My allowance account had $40 left on Wednesday, which means I spent $60 on "normal" expenses the past week. I also found some free storytelling workshops and events that I expected to be paid (I was ready to pay for them), but they were free!

However, something very special is happening at our Brazilian zouk dance school. We have some young but great teachers that moved here from Brazil, and I just feel like taking all their classes that I can, while they are still here (they are here at least a year). I also think they are wonderful people and they stole my heart when I talked to them a bit. I can't justify myself to not go all-in on zouk and their classes right now, and that's why I am putting dance in "luxury expenses" that are not to be tracked. But, I will still exercise reason, of course.

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