Davtheram12's Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
davtheram12
Posts: 230
Joined: Mon May 28, 2018 6:02 pm

Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

Hey everyone,

I've been around for a few years and decided it was time to start my own journal. A little background on myself, I'm a 31 year old male currently living with my DW in Santa Monica, CA. I enjoy exercising, cooking, woodworking, cars and trash hunting. I was previously employed as an Exercise Physiologist for a large hospital and was doing that line of work for 6 years. Unfortunately I've been out of a job since July 2020 after the hospital decided to perform some "restructuring" because of covid-19. Interestingly enough, I was ecstatic when my supervisor called me into his office to give me the "bad news". In fact I was calming him down once I noticed how hard he was taking it. But I digress.

My original plan, before my job loss, was to continue working for that company until I retired with ~$375,000 by age 34-35. Now it's back to the drawing board and I have a few ideas how I can approach that goal.

Idea 1: Change my career and work as a carpenter for my good friends company. I've already spoken to my friend and he's on board with the idea. I do have some knowledge in construction since my father is currently a carpenter. Growing up I was exposed to many construction trades, helped my father with many home renovations and even worked for a roofing company for a short while after I graduated highschool. The idea isn't completely out of left field but I'm concerned of the many physically demanding aspects. If anything, I could give it a try and if I can't keep up, I can always resign. But that is an absolute last resort. I wouldn't want to potentially ruin a friendship because I'm fickle.

Idea 2: Find another position within the Kinesiology realm. I have plenty of experience and degrees in this arena that will help me land a job but honestly I'm a little burned out in the field. I love the material and it has helped me immensely with my own personal fitness and health goals but I might be ready for a change. With that being said, I'm not opposed to working in the field again if the opportunity presents itself but this idea is my last resort.

Idea 3: Start a cooking YouTube channel. Now this idea is way out of my comfort zone. Well not entirely but enough for me to ask myself "wtf are you thinking"?
I love cooking and have been an avid home cook for about 18 years. I do have 2 years of experience of cinematography, video editing and script writing but haven't practiced in over a decade. And I do find myself spending way too much time watching other YouTubers. I figure now that I have the extra time I could give this a shot. I'll have to figure out the logistics of this before I decide this route. This would be a large undertaking and I might be a little over my head but a guy can dream :D

Okay that's it for now. I feel that I can keep writing but I'll save some for future posts. Thanks for stopping by. :P

ertyu
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by ertyu »

All ideas sound reasonable. Does the time investment 3 requires allow for you to pursue it alongside 1? Because that seems like a good mix of being creative across different areas to me.

About 2: is there anything you need to do to stay current or can you pretty much rejoin the profession at any time if you want to? I am also burned out on my main professional job and even though I have the highest earning potential there, I am really not gung-ho about rejoining. On the other hand, I hope future me would have the opportunity if money runs low.

About 3: what would make your channel special? What would be your niche?

davtheram12
Posts: 230
Joined: Mon May 28, 2018 6:02 pm

Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

Let's talk about numbers. So I'm currently spending ~$15,000/year living in Santa Monica, CA. Listed are my monthly expenses:

Rent: 940
Electricity: 12-15
Gas: 7-10
Cellphone: 22
Internet: 25
Netflix: 8
Food + luxuries: 120-150
Car insurance: 30
Car gas: 25
Misc expenses: 15-30

My current net worth stands at ~$195,000 and have zero debt. With my current yearly expenses that puts me at ~7.7% withdrawal rate but here's the thing, I don't plan on living in a HCOL area for much longer. If I can dramatically decrease my living expenses I won't need much more money to achieve the 4%.

But here's the thing, my DW works right down the street and has a really great thing going for her with her current company. Not only does she love working there but she will need to stay with the company for another 3 years before she can be fully vested in their pension plan. So I'll have to stick to a HCOL area for a short while. Either way, that's where I currently stand.

davtheram12
Posts: 230
Joined: Mon May 28, 2018 6:02 pm

Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

@ertyu

I would say combining ideas 1 and 3 are a possibility but construction is so physically demanding I might be wiped out every day. I might not have the mental and physical fortitude to complete essentially another job with YouTube videos. But I've done crazier things so it's still a possibility.

I've had friends and other professional colleagues come back after a very long hiatus (months and sometimes years). Many times it's with the help of their network, which I do possess but don't heavily rely on. I suppose I could always go back to part-time teaching at the college level. The demand I'd always present in that area.

I'm having a hard time with coming up with a particular niche. My background is in traditional Mexican cooking. If my channel was specific it would likely revolve around many dishes I grew up with (e.g. picadio, tamales, chile colorado, salsas, tortillas, chile verde, sopas, etc). But I can make many other dishes from other cultures so I wouldn't want to keep things too narrow to just one culture.

classical_Liberal
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by classical_Liberal »

Welcome from another disillusioned health care worker.

That's some pretty impressive spending!

It kind-of sucks that you are paying a premium to live in a weather paradise, but don't get to enjoy it lately. Still, sounds like it's worth it for your wife. If you haven't been able to enjoy the normal Santa Monica beach life, how have you been spending you time?

I have zero suggestions on the income producing side, still trying to figure that one out myself.

davtheram12
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Joined: Mon May 28, 2018 6:02 pm

Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

@ classical_Liberal
Hey CL! I've read many if your posts and really appreciate your perspective on things. Working as a health car worker definitely takes a special person. I can be a little unsympathetic and its definitely exacerbated when poor management doesn't help. I should have learned that before spending 6 years in the field. Don't get me started on the additional time spent with schooling and volunteering to get through the doors :x

Thanks! I've managed to keep that level of spending for a few years now. It wasn't very difficult to make the shift since I was never a spendthrift.

Definitely paying the price in rent but not all is lost. Although I haven't been able to spend much time outside lately (even more so now with all the smoke and ash pollution from recent fires), I've been focusing on my hobbies. Cooking has been my primary focus lately. Just this past week I've learned to make bao buns, refined my pizza doughs, enhanced my marinades and improved my salsas.

Its been tough trying to figure out creative and fun methods to generate revenue. I'm no rookie to making money but I've become a little more picky about how I spend my time. It's nice not feeling the pressure to need a lot of money to cover my basic expenses.

2Birds1Stone
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

Hi, Dav. I saw your post in the SWR thread and was curious for an update on your situation.

How did you manage to temporarily slash your spending so much? Still in CA?

How is your progress on deciding between something Kinesiology vs. carpentry related?

davtheram12
Posts: 230
Joined: Mon May 28, 2018 6:02 pm

Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

2Birds1Stone wrote:
Tue Nov 10, 2020 5:34 am
How did you manage to temporarily slash your spending so much? Still in CA?
Hey 2B1S! Well I'm still living in Santa Monica, CA. Unfortunately I was let go from my job, through no fault of my own (i.e. COVID-19), in August. Luckily I was able to claim unemployment in the mean time. That has provided a huge buffer while I look for another job that better suits my needs.
Since most of my net worth is tied into the stock market, my DW and I decided to temporarily split our expenses a little differently to avoid prematurely pulling from my nest egg. So while she pays for the entire rent, I decided to pay for everything else (i.e. groceries, cell phones, apartment utilities, etc.). Now that I'm home more often, I've also been able to take over 95% of the household chores. It's been a very nice trade-off between my DW and I. I actually prefer taking care of the home but I know it'll be short-lived :roll:
2Birds1Stone wrote:
Tue Nov 10, 2020 5:34 am
How is your progress on deciding between something Kinesiology vs. carpentry related?
I recently spoke to my close friend again, who is eventually going to take over his father's construction business, and he said they would gladly hire me on starting 2021. Unfortunately I recently injured my right shoulder and haven't been able to lift much without causing some pain. So I'll have to heal first before I start that line of work :(

As far as Kinesiology is concerned, I may take a break from that area of work. I've been engrossed in that field for about 10 years (schooling, volunteering and work). Although I love the material, there are days I just don't want to think about it. Going right back to that line of work, at least for now, doesn't appeal to me. This took a lot of introspection and honestly I would likely sabotage my chances of getting past any oral interview. :lol:

davtheram12
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

So inspired by Ego's success on the Something From Nothing Log, and my desire to make a little extra money on the side, I decided to sell things on OfferUp.

Boy has it been challenging! I listed a microwave for $50 feeling rather optimistic. It was in great condition, worked well and looked great in the photos. It got plenty of views but no one was interested in making a deal. So I decided to lower the price until I eventually received offers. One the listed price was set to $30 people started messaging me. Perfect! Let's make a deal. Some people stopped responding, others never finalized a meeting time and some offered far less than I was hoping. Well shit! Maybe the market for microwaves in my area calls for lower prices. I may just have to sell it for a little less. I guess I shouldn't complain. After all I did find it tossed next to the dumpster after a neighbor moved out :lol:

Back to the drawing board!

davtheram12
Posts: 230
Joined: Mon May 28, 2018 6:02 pm

Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

Great news! Since I've been unemployed, I've been visiting my dad more frequently (i.e. going to his doctor appointments as his advocate, creating diet and exercise plans, etc) and we had an interesting conversation. I was describing my plans with him about pursuing carpentry with my friend to which he responds "why don't you just come with me to the job site and work under me as an apprentice". Wait what?! :shock:. I was totally speechless since it never came up as possiblity. He could tell I was taken back by his offer. He finally responds with "of course you can work for me. That was one of the first things I told your mom when you were young. She shot that idea down very quickly and that was the end of that. So I never brought it up again." Considering my dad is rather quiet and non- confrontational this wasn't a surprise. This changes my original plans but I don't mind one bit. I get to work under my dad (who focuses on the work at hand while avoiding work politics), will get paid substantially more than my friend was able to offer, will get full benefits and I will have additional protections since it's a unionized position.

Not sure when I'll start since covid precautions have put a damper on some construction projects but I have nothing but time. I have plenty of safety nets while I wait and it's all thanks to ERE. In the meantime I'll continue focusing on my shenanigans :lol:

Cheepnis
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by Cheepnis »

Good evening Mr. Ram, what trade will you be working in under your dad? It might perhaps be a good thing that you never knew this was an option as the skills you developed in lieu can/will/have provide you with useful optionality.

Also, how will joining the union work for you? Private or public union? Private unions in my area have in the last ten years have made entrance opportunities vastly more equitable. To the point that it's not uncommon for younger members of multi-generation union families to be unable to get in because they cannot pass the newly required math test, which has led to much ire among those who thought they could get it because of their dad. Not trying to harp on you or your situation, I'm just curious how unions in other areas function. The rules can vary so widely and they interest me.

davtheram12
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

Cheepnis wrote:
Mon Nov 16, 2020 9:53 pm
Also, how will joining the union work for you? Private or public union?
Hey Cheepnis, so I've been waiting months to get an answer from my dad and still nothing. He's been out of work, because of Covid-19, since September so his chances of getting answers from the right people are currently pretty slim. I know nepotism has essentially been squashed to give everyone a fighting chance to land a unionized job. And honestly I think my dad is a little out of touch with the current job recruitment process. No matter, I'm in no rush since covid-19 has been impacting the job sites. My dad mentioned about 50% of the carpenters (at a particular job site his co-workers found themselves) got covid-19. No thank you! I'd rather wait until I get vaccinated before working at a job site with numbers like that.

In the mean time I did land a per diem job as a Cardiac Fitness Therapist. Im currently going through the pre-employment screening process and it's a doozy. Physical, drug screen, vaccination, verifying professional references, verifying degrees and certifications, etc all needed to be completed. If everything goes well Ill start on 4/6. At $35/hour (a 40% increase from my last employer) with about 10-20 hours a week I'm happy :)

davtheram12
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

Just quit my job today after only having worked there for 8 weeks. I had a hard time handling a very unpleasant coworker. She belittled me, was patronizing me and was generally not pleasant to be around. I brought this up on a few occasions to my supervisor and trainer and I was met with anywhere between a shoulder shrug to "well she's had a hard life and so we need to be aware that she comes from that background."

I even tried speaking directly to that coworker and was told "well you're going to have to learn to deal with it. You aren't always going to get along with everyone. There is going to be unpleasant people in every job you'll have." Even today I tried speaking to my supervisor and trainer separately. The supervisor ended our conversation with "I can talk to her about her tone but davtheram12 we also don't want someone who is hypersensitive to every unpleasant person". My trainer said "you're just going to have to learn to adapt since you are the new person and she's been here longer". I was completely floored. I've brought this to their attention on multiple occasions and it always came down to me. So I quit on the spot. Took off my badge, left my uniforms and said "I'm sorry but I'm just not a good fit for the team. I'm sorry I've wasted everyone's time and I wish you could have picked someone better suited for this position. This just isn't working out." I feel pretty badly considering it was a "professional" work setting but I felt horrible coming into work. I guess this is what it feels like to have F-U money.

I don't know how to feel about the whole situation. I tried setting boundaries and was met with mediocre responses. I've definitely burned some bridges but I felt like my hand was forced. Obviously I always have a choice in how I react to people but this situation was all too familiar.

Any words of wisdom would be great.

Western Red Cedar
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by Western Red Cedar »

I don't think you should have any regrets at all. Good for you for setting boundaries and sticking to them. Toxic employees/coworkers have a tendency to spread negative energy and ill will throughout a work environment. I'm sure you were not the only one affected in this situation. I know it is a challenge for managers or supervisors to address those employees or that behavior, but that is a really important part of building a strong culture and fostering an environment of trust among their staff.

One of the major benefits of living simply and having a healthy emergency fund is the ability to walk away from these kinds of situations. This environment can really wear you down, and that has the ability to eventually negatively impact relationships with friends and family. Take a walk, go to the beach, make a nice meal for DW, and get a good night sleep - whatever it is that will help you relax and appreciate the bigger picture. You did the right thing and everything will work out for the best in the end.

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mountainFrugal
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by mountainFrugal »

@WRC has such a wise response. The fact that this coworker is a known problem case and the managers do nothing about it for how it affects other people is a red flag for a company culture of lazy management with no feedback. Also this sets up a situation where if this coworker were to do something horrible to you, the consequences would be next to nothing.

I am curious though if you could use this as a way to answer some reflective questions about the situation to serve yourself going forward. Did this coworker have redeeming qualities? Were they really good at serving a certain demographic of the companies client base? Maybe they were harsh to you once or twice and did that taint how you were viewing seemingly small things that had no malicious intent? What if you absolutely HAD to work with this person and the fate of humanity rested on it? How specifically would you deal with them? These are not questions that need actual answers, but you did spend a few months there so could be worth reflecting.

davtheram12
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

@Western Red Cedar
Thank you so much for your response. It has a huge impact on how Im reflecting the situation. It was negatively impacting my other, more meaningful, relationships and I hated that. I would come home stressed out, irritated and be just in a generally shitty mood. I will definitely take some time to relax. Luckily my DW, and her family, will be visiting some family in Kansas. I'll be able to go with them now.

@mountainfrugal
Thanks for the reflective questions. I was able to answer them quickly and realized it was a huge disparity in personalities. I had been told, by my trainer, on multiple occasions of coworkers bullying each other. When asked what happened in those instances I was told "it's just part of the job and you learn to get used to it." :shock:
Well well, I guess I must be color blind since the red flags were always present.

davtheram12
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

Friday, after resigning, was a very rough day for me. I haven't felt that badly in a long time. Felt a lot of highs and a lot of lows. Not really sure why it felt that badly but my DW assumes it was from revisiting feelings from past traumas (ie boundaries not being respected). Ultimately resigning was the best thing I could have done considering all of the red flags that were present. My DW has been extremely supportive in my decision and we both know it's time for a significant change moving forward.

In the mean time I'll continue selling used/discarded items to cover many of our expenses. My dad says I can still work with him in carpentry starting this August. I still have my close friend, also in carpentry, who still wants me to work with him and his father. Im at a crossroads and it's a little scary but I'm extremely grateful for my financial position that will allow me to carefully consider my options. Rambling over but I'll revisit everything after I get back from Kansas :lol:

Western Red Cedar
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by Western Red Cedar »

I think another thing to keep in mind is that your decision to walk away puts a spotlight on bullying and inappropriate behavior at your old job. Other employees were probably dealing with similar micro (or macro) aggressions.

My wife had some negative experiences with a manipulative narcissist at an old job. It took a couple of other people leaving the organization and my wife bringing the behavior up with management before they finally saw the problem and addressed it. Narcissists/sociopaths/bullies are often clever about hiding their behavior from their superiors, but turnover is expensive and I bet HR or the supervisor will be thinking differently about this particular employee.

Even though you left for your own reasons, you may have inadvertently helped out the rest of the team.

2Birds1Stone
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

Oh boy, that's a shitty situation I can relate to. Sounds like you've gotten some good advice and are taking it in stride....

When I joined a large startup in Autumn of 2018, my very first sales meeting in the office was with my direct supervisor and 3 peers, as well as an extended team in other US offices and India. The boss berated and belittled my peers in front of me and the remote colleagues in the meeting, during my first week on the job! This was a red flag that I noted and tried to keep from souring the rest of the experience. What turned out after a year there, was that this type of behavior was also prevalent in the upper management echelons too. The whole companies culture was based on this type of mentality and treatment of employees. Documenting it and then bringing it to the attention of more sane and newly hired legal/HR teams led to a pretty sweet severance package.

I guess the point of my story is that you definitely left at the perfect time, before investing any more energy and mental space into a toxic workplace.

FU$ is fantastic for this.

davtheram12
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Re: Davtheram12's Journal

Post by davtheram12 »

Western Red Cedar wrote:
Wed May 19, 2021 8:48 pm
Even though you left for your own reasons, you may have inadvertently helped out the rest of the team.
I can only hope but it was definitely a chronic issue that has been happening for years. In fact, that was also a reason I left. I refused to get sucked into that culture. When I first brought up the issue to my trainer she mentioned that she too was treated poorly by her trainer (who happened to be my friend who gave me a recommendation). She mentioned she would go home crying on multiple occasions because my friend was so mean to her. My trainer also mentioned she was trying very hard not to be mean to me since she was unpleasant to the last employee I replaced. I was also told of another veteran employee who left because another coworker constantly belittled her. She too was left crying on multiple occasions because others began to shun her.

I'm glad to hear your wife was able to make a difference. I know it's not easy but someone has to do it.

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