The Education of Axel Heyst

Where are you and where are you going?
UrbanHomesteader
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

Just read your 2023 manifesto, and my favoriteline is "Collapse now and avoid the rush".

I can relate to the idea that planning more than 10 years out is sketchy.

theanimal
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by theanimal »

The photo angle is a bit deceiving. I figure half to 2/3rds of the backside of the panels reflects off the roof line and the remainder from the trees. Either way, the blue tin does not do much in terms of reflecting.

The cost factor was the same for me, so I figured I'd try them out. I'll be interested to hear your results. There was a study I read once about how some researchers created a reflective stand behind a bifacial solar array to direct more light to the back side. IIRC, they found they were able to increase solar capture by about 30%. I can't seem to find the article now, but will share if I do come across it again.

AxelHeyst
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by AxelHeyst »

@UH, if you like that line, you'll like the book, and, well, probably most of JMG's nonfic as well.

@animal ah, gotcha. Yeah I came across the 30% figure, but sounded like it was under ideal conditions like you say. "Good" real world conditions might be another 20%? At any rate, the bifacial panels definitely look cooler, which is rule #1, so either way we're at a win.

(The real reason I'm doing this project for my neighbor is because I'm hoping he'll let me take his old solar panels... which were installed when I was 1.(!)

Bicycle7
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by Bicycle7 »

My partner and I read through your 22' and 23' Manifestos.

There's so much great stuff in there, it made for good conversation between us. One part that stands out that we talked about was the subsections on SemiERE and DirtbagERE.

The idea of earning money more efficiently- lower tax bracket, perhaps less time committed to commuting, lunch breaks, etc. More time devoted to developing skills and connections with others. More energy to pursue what you call stoke, what I relate to Plotkin's sacred dance.

The 3rd and 4th paragraphs of the DirtbagERE section gave me goosebumps when I read it.

"Stoke is not the same as fun, thrills, or even passion. You can be stoked to do something that hurts or scares you. "

- This makes me think of shadow work.

Looking forward to hearing more details about your PCT trip :)

You are a huge inspiration! Thanks.

AxelHeyst
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by AxelHeyst »

Bicycle glad you found the manifestos interesting! My experience of them is that I find the process of drafting them very rewarding and enriching to my thinking... And then they seem totally flat and I get nothing from referring to them. So I ignore them for a year or two. Then I read them again later and go whoa hey this is good stuff and there's a second 'impact'. I recommend the practice for sure.

....

Last Week's ERE Thing: move some cash tiers accounts around. In progress, these things take a while, but it's going fine. Next week's ERE thing is more boring logistics stuff. Had a great MMG call this morning that sparked lots of further thinking about how to approach thinking about stash management as a semiEREr.

Writing: As part of my writing project ("Advice to my 25yo self") I decided to go back and read all of my journals from the beginning. I started journaling in 1998 when I was 12, and I'm currently writing in journal #31. I'm only up to reading 2005's journal but I'm already spotting patterns and trends that I didn't realize went back so far. As in, change the names and specific details, and I've been living one story on repeat since the early oughts. Super interesting stuff. I'm starting to connect some dots that I hadn't before, specifically, the fact that I've operated from a place of fear and hate, guilt and shame (hate being flipside of the fear coin) for a long, long time. I'd say this realization is one level deeper than my previously deepest understanding of how I tick and why. And the previous layer I was consciously on to since 2016 or so. This does relate to ERE-journey stuff, but I've got to dig around more before I can articulate it. Bottom line though is it's orienting my self perception and desires for my internal state in a very positive, hopeful, etc direction.

This writing project is turning into the richest personal-work project I've done, ever. Already worth it.

solarpunk stuff: I energized the well PV system this week! It works! Still some features to add and things to finish up, but it's functional. No more gasoline generator. I'm psyched. I'll do a longer post with pictures later.

I took some further dives into the solarpunk community this week. Checking the scene out.

PCT: gathering information on MYOG (make your own gear) folks. It looks like making my own bivvy and tarpent at minimum is actually reasonable. I picked up a 20F UBQ quilt for half MSRP on eBay, had been used for a week on the ATC. I'd like to get my sleeping system put together as quickly as possible so I can 'test' it out locally, on bike rides etc.

Still in a big push to finish neighbors PV system. Then my plate will be considerably cleared. I'm busier than I'd like but I am working my plan to clear my plate, enjoy the ride, not feel stressed, etc. GTD and timeblocking are critical skills for these kinds of phases. Looking forward to a phase where I'll drop the timeblocking for a bit.

Dave
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by Dave »

AxelHeyst wrote:
Mon Jan 23, 2023 1:42 am
I'm only up to reading 2005's journal but I'm already spotting patterns and trends that I didn't realize went back so far. As in, change the names and specific details, and I've been living one story on repeat since the early oughts. Super interesting stuff. I'm starting to connect some dots that I hadn't before.

This writing project is turning into the richest personal-work project I've done, ever. Already worth it.
Awsome stuff!

I've been journaling since late 2016 (thanks @Dragline) and so have only a tiny taste of what you're talking about here. Still, even from my limited experience it seems amazing how much you can learn about yourself observing these themes through text over time. Happy you're making some personal progress, really empowering stuff.
AxelHeyst wrote:
Mon Jan 23, 2023 1:42 am
PCT: gathering information on MYOG (make your own gear) folks. It looks like making my own bivvy and tarpent at minimum is actually reasonable. I picked up a 20F UBQ quilt for half MSRP on eBay, had been used for a week on the ATC. I'd like to get my sleeping system put together as quickly as possible so I can 'test' it out locally, on bike rides etc.
Excited to hear how all of this goes!

guitarplayer
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by guitarplayer »

Hey do I remember it right that you are organising an ERE festival?

AxelHeyst
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by AxelHeyst »

8-)

Clear your calendar for early September. I'll start a thread on it soon.

AxelHeyst
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by AxelHeyst »

jacob wrote:
Fri Jan 27, 2023 1:12 pm
Rewrite the ERE book, but remove chapter 7 and replace it with a chapter that appeals to the desired target demographics, e.g. "awesome adventures", "community development", "prepping", ... whatever carrot you want instead, and change the title to fit accordingly.

I'm not going to do it. ... However I encourage others with non-fiction book writing aspirations to do so and I'd support such an effort...
Okay so this is good news, because this is along the lines of what I want to do. ERE for solarpunks. I've been hanging out in some solarpunk spaces recently and those folks could use some postconsumer praxis and systems thinking, imo.

Very relatedly, I made progress on understanding the mistake I made when I got back from Europe and loaded up on serendipitous opportunities to the point of overload: tl;dr the mistake is lack of agency/self-direction. I got TOO much serendipity, which forced out self-directed activities, and it kinda sucked.

Recap:
  • When I got back from Europe in Sept, I knew I needed to make some income.
  • My plan was to position myself to be able to say 'yes' to "serendipitous" opportunities for making money that were in alignment with my values and interests.
  • Result: within a month I had two PV design-build projects and a 12hr/wk handyman gig. Over the next couple months I'd tack on being low level IT support for some neighbors on an as needed basis, and propane generator repairman.
  • On paper, all the opportunities that showed up ranged from 'totally tolerable' to 'stoked!'.
  • In reality, it was too much. I was spinning too many plates, all the projects were by definition for the benefit of other people, and I didn't have nearly as much time as I wanted to pursue my own projects.
A contributing factor to taking on too many projects is that I was coming from a scarcity mindset. I knew I needed to make some money, and that knowledge for sure influenced what I said yes to.

Another contributing factor is that I'd fallen too much in love with the idea of 'serendipity/incidental yield'. I kind of expected money to just fall out of the sky... and it did! And that kind of sucks actually! Because all of a sudden I'm doing other people's projects, not mine, because well I need to make some money so sure I'll do it and it sounds fun.

It's cool to have some opportunity crop up here and there, but in my recent experience, it's not a great way to actually run a WoG. Money ought to be solved via self-directed intent and will. Whether that's tradFI and savvy investment activity or running a personal business/hustle or whatever, I'm realizing it's important (for me) for income flows to be coming in from activities and sources that I've thought through, designed, tuned, etc.

Cal Newport talks about lifestyle-centric career planning, where he encourages people to start their career design process (at whatever point in their lives it is they're doing this) with what they want their ideal lifestyle to look like. Then, work backwards.

He gives the example of Michael Crichton vs. John Grisham. Crichten is super ambitious and busy and is doing a million projects at once. Grisham writes one book a year, from a shed on his rural property, and when he's done (about halfway through the year) he does anything else. They've got different lifestyle ambitions. He makes the point that if you have a Grisham personality, but go after a Crichton style lifestyle, you're gonna be unhappy. And vice versa (presumably Crichton would be bored to tears running a Grisham life).

I was reminded of lifestyle centric career planning while mulling this serendipity/incidental yield vs self-directed projects issue. My ideal lifestyle looks something like

Wake up, make coffee
Write for 1-4 hrs
Work out, eat first meal
Go outside and play

With 'play' being defined as hike up a mountain, build something in the shop, build or work in a garden, hang out with friends, hop on the bike and ride anywhere, work on motorcycles, work on other creative projects, etc.

...And for several months of the year, be on a trip or adventure or something like that. So, there's seasonality to my idea lifestyle. To be really clear: that's my ideal lifestyle without any consideration given to money. If my stash was 666xCoL, that's still what I'd put down as my ideal lifestyle.

And what I've learned recently is that if, when I'm ready to go outside and play, I've got a stack of other people's projects to work on, I'm not psyched.

And I have a hunch that with some attention given to craft, strategy, and consistent 1-4hrs a day, I can write myself > 1xCoL within a couple years. And oh hey, I've got more than a couple years FU stashed away.
jacob wrote:
Fri Jan 27, 2023 2:43 pm
I don't really see time as tick-tock clock time but more as a series of moves. A good analogy might be a chess game. It doesn't matter to me whether people have been playing for 3 minutes or 123 minutes. What matters is whether they're on move #12 or move #87.
Also this concept resonates pretty strongly. And the next moves I want to make involve writing and publishing and getting good enough to write stuff that people actually want to read.

(Incidentally, I consider what I've been calling 'a mistake' - having a go at pure serendipity-based income - to be a move I wanted to make, to see what it was like and be able to speak to it. Check. Let's move on.)

ertyu
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by ertyu »

It's not a wrong turn, it's a writing opportunity -- now you have a thing to have thoughts about

jacob
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by jacob »

An interesting writing project may be "the development/education of a competent man". According to the wiki, the formative years are rarely discussed: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Competent_man Also, it's very rare to see an introspective biography (fictional or not) of doubts and resulting decisions. The Education of Henry Adamds (https://www.amazon.com/Education-Henry- ... 000FC239Y/) is one of a very short selection.

jacob
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by jacob »

AxelHeyst wrote:
Fri Jan 27, 2023 7:49 pm
Okay so this is good news, because this is along the lines of what I want to do. ERE for solarpunks. I've been hanging out in some solarpunk spaces recently and those folks could use some postconsumer praxis and systems thinking, imo.
BTW, a relevant book I keep referring to but then forget to link due to its ungooglable title is https://www.amazon.com/Good-Life-Lab-Ex ... 1612121012 It seems rather related to what you're doing + they're in NM which is similar to your climate. They also had a youtube channel for a brief spell about a decade ago.

Add: https://www.youtube.com/@sklarmgoodlifelab/videos

calamityjane
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by calamityjane »

@jacob, thanks for that book recommendation. I had not heard of it and definitely want to check that out. Good things are happening here in New Mexico! I hope that trend continues.

AxelHeyst
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by AxelHeyst »

@jacob thanks for the links and thoughts. I got about halfway through the good life lab book last night, so far I can definitely recommend it to other people as well. It does a good job describing her radicalization journey, struggles and doubts, and her trajectory of going from unskilled city person to highly skilled salvage DIYer/etc.

AxelHeyst
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by AxelHeyst »

Update, Monthly Edition

Moneystuff: It's a month of milestones for me.
Annualized monthly expenses: 10k (high because some gear for PCT and bulk food order).

ttmCoL: $9,200 (Finally squeaked into the Four Figure Club!)
ttmFU: 4years
ttmFullStash: 15years
ttmNetProfit: $150 (Positive for the first time since June 2021!)

Another neighbor asked me to help with his projects. They sound really cool. He's an ex Tesla engineering doing something with spaceships or something now, bought a couple of the properties up here, and wants help renovating bathrooms and electrifying backhoes and things like that. I told him no, but that I'd hit him up in September maybe. My FU stash is almost full. No new projects till I get back from my little walk.

## Risk:
I've been thinking about risk. In particular, weighing the risk of 'going for it' and crashing out vs the risk of NOT going for it. Whatever 'it' is. And then, weighing how I feel about risk. I don't want a risk free life. If you came to me and said "I'm from the future, and don't worry, everything in your life is going to work out fine", I'd be pissed at you for telling me. The spice of risk is half the point of waking up in the morning. Look, I *really* don't want to crash and burn, but a risk-free life sounds terrible to me. Risk is the reason to be good at stuff: so when shit goes sideways, you can employ competence to triumph. Or lose, but lose fighting well. (Gallantly...)

## Bodystuff
Third week of consistent workouts. Chyeah. This last week was hard. I fought off a cold and a few days of very low state.

## Creativestuff
Reading back through my journals from when I was 17-19 has been illuminating. I forgot how much I hated myself. tl:dr: a *lot*. Man, I was one unhappy kid. I had zero compassion for myself. I think a big part of my drive for self-improvement has had a locus in that self-hatred. There's two parts to it, though:

1) I found myself completely unacceptable, and thus was driven to become someone less wrong, and
2) I intuited self improvement as a necessary survival strategy. I wasn't going to last long in that state. Stagnation wasn't really an option. It was Get Better or Get Annihilated, one way or another. (If I had two words of advice for my 18yo self it would be GET THERAPY. If I had two more I would add YOU DUMBASS.)

But what's interesting to me is the link between my self-regard and my thoughts and feelings wrt to the world. I thought the world sucked. Like, *really* sucked. I was super misanthropic. I had zero compassion for how messed up I perceived the world to be. I just blamed rampant human stupidity, greed, etc. It seems to me that how I felt about myself and how I felt about the world were just two forms of expressing the same thing.

I mellowed over time. Reading my journals, it's clear that how I pulled out of my nose dive was A) pulling the plug on my dysfunctional relationship with Christianity and B) 'doing stuff', or getting engaged with the real world. The more time I spent in the world, the less time I had available to death-spiral ruminate, and my self-regard and mental health improved. I invested time in improving my social skills (which weren't actually that bad, but I had spent so much time hating everything that I was unable for that period to 'show up' enough to have quality time with other humans). I got interested in sustainability, Earthships, backpacking and mountain biking, engineering, etc.

That said, I feel I can see the imprint of my 'dark times' throughout my entire 20s and early 30s. My behaviors and attitudes don't make much sense unless you dig back and look at the state I was in then. Yeah, I pulled WAY WAY back on the whole spewing hatred in every direction including internally shtick, but it's not like I closed the book on it, got real closure on it. I made a mess, and then I moved on, but the mess was still there, drying on the walls. The hatred itself faded, but it left a dent, a mark, on me and my actions.

Those years pushed me in a certain direction, gave a certain vibe to how I thought, imprinted certain kinds of behaviors and attitudes on me that have been with me ever since. I realized a few days ago that many of my behaviors of the past decade and a half ONLY make sense coming from a person who used to hate himself at a very deep level. People who hold themselves in healthy positive regard don't do the kinds of things I did, or more critically allow the kinds of things be done to them that I did. I can think of event after event that would be an insta-NOPE to anyone who thought they were an entity worthy of love.

I've written a fair amount here about my 'codependence'. Ego made a comment about how we use terms to medicalize people, and at first I was annoyed with his comment, but then it got stuck in my brain for days and honestly I think it contributed to my ability to look a level deeper than how I've been thinking about myself. (I have that experience with his Socratic posts a lot, actually. Initially they frustrate me, and then I experience some level of transformation. He's like the ereYoda.) The books I've read on codep stuff explained the pattern of my behaviors, or rather presented a pattern of behavior that I was able to match with my own, but of course what was lacking was the nuanced, historical perspective of what went on in my life to bring about those patterns.

Anyway: in fits and starts, in an ad-hoc manner, I feel like I've been working on building up an ability to love myself for a decade and a half, starting from about as close to ground zero as you can get. The interesting thing is the correlation between positive self-regard and compassion for the world. I also very much hate *the world* way less than I used to.

I'm starting to ramble here, but the main thing I'm investigating is how much of my trajectory in sustainability (and my militant overwork attitude) was rooted in a place of self hatred.... and what to do about it now that I see where I started. To be clear: I don't feel hatred towards the world anymore. But when you're on a journey, and all of a sudden you realize that you probably BEGAN the journey for reasons that you no longer identify with, you need to take a moment to make sure that you're where you want to be, that you're working on what you want to be working on, that the implicit assumptions that undergird the justification for everything you're doing are still something you agree with, resonate with. Maybe there's still some ugly gross mess of a disaster hiding inside deep inside the system that motivates and directions my attention. If so, I need to Oxyclean that shit ASAP before I do anything else. Even if all it's doing is hiding in a closet, not directing anything anymore. I don't want it in there.

The self hatred goes a long way to explaining my failures and self sabotage, I think. If I truly deep down don't think I'm worthy of having good things happen to me, then I'll find some way of making my aspirational projects crash and burn. Which is an easy to see pattern.

My sense of things, mostly from reflecting on my path, is that the key fix is action. I mean, the key isn't to convince myself through sheer force of thought that I'm worthy of love. It's to DO things that demonstrate to myself that I'm worthy of love, and build on those actions. It's to vote with my actions over and over again that I'm worth it just fucking because.

So - it's been a rich month for the emotional category of Renaissance life...


# Special Topics:
## PCT Prep:
Got a quilt and a pair of shoes (will need more), both about half off MSRP.

Been doing a lot of reading up on UL philosophy and principles. Focusing on making decisions about my shelter *system* (it's important to consider how all the gear works together). Current plan A is 20F quilt, MYOG bivy bag with mesh down center top to alleviate condensation issues, MYOG tarp, and zlite pad.

Paired with heavyweight wool hoody baselayer, hiking shirt, nano puff vest (swag from work), and MH stretchdown puffy hoody (heavy at 17.1oz, but I already own it, so I'm trying to build a system around it).

Haven't put attention to pants/leggings/etc yet.

I hope to MYOG my pack, but that comes after finalizing decisions on what's going in the pack.

I've begun wearing my layering system now around Ft Dirtbag to see how it performs for different temperatures and activity conditions. As soon as I make the bivy I'll begin sleeping outside when the temps are up to what I expect to see worst case (mid 20s F).

I'm going to be ramping up everything so that nothing is a surprise by the time I start walking for real. I'll begin testing and eating my trail diet, wearing my trail layers, ramping up my daily training mileage, and going on multiple-day overnights to test everything.

Most people have to hustle to make it to Canada before getting snowed off the trail. I'm not going that far, so speed is not a high priority. I can afford a more leisurely pace.

I'm surprised at how into this I am. I usually don't enjoy trip planning and logistics, but I've been really psyched to dig into all the aspects of this trip. Part of this, I think, is that the idea of operationalizing UL philosophy and being able to be out there with a really dialed and lightweight base weight has hooked into my brain. I've always packed heavy, and never been in high level hiker trim, so I associate backpacking with sore shoulders, sore feet, etc. Leveling up my skills here, and then living at the actual base of the Sierras, is really capturing my imagination.

AnalyticalEngine
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

I can relate to the tendency to build up a negative attitude of yourself and the world, and that attitude leading to some personal and interpersonal dysfunction. Sometimes "codependency" manifests in assuming the worst out of everything plus the need to take the world's weight onto your own shoulders. That type of attitude can lead one into taking on too many of other people's problems, having poor boundaries, assuming one is unworthy of genuine love, then proceeding to get into work situations/relationships/friendships where the main glue of the situation is negativity. If one assumes the world is evil, it's a lot easier to allow "emotional vampires" into one's life because the baseline assumption is that everyone and everything already sucks, so of course this relationship involves pouring endless energy into the world's problems too. Having a more positive attitude where one tries to engage with the world and other people on positive terms instead of negative terms will naturally lead to more fulfilling relationships/jobs.

Western Red Cedar
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by Western Red Cedar »

AxelHeyst wrote:
Sun Jan 29, 2023 2:19 pm
I'm surprised at how into this I am. I usually don't enjoy trip planning and logistics, but I've been really psyched to dig into all the aspects of this trip. Part of this, I think, is that the idea of operationalizing UL philosophy and being able to be out there with a really dialed and lightweight base weight has hooked into my brain. I've always packed heavy, and never been in high level hiker trim, so I associate backpacking with sore shoulders, sore feet, etc. Leveling up my skills here, and then living at the actual base of the Sierras, is really capturing my imagination.
I think there is a pretty relevant metaphor in the approach to backpacking and the approach to FI. It makes sense that you'd be stoked about operationalizing the UL philosophy, as that is how you've approached FI.

AxelHeyst
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by AxelHeyst »

AE you nailed it.
WRC yeah, absolutely. I think I've always been terrible at things if I can't wrap my head around the underlying guts of it, the conceptual framework, how it all can fit together. But when I do, I happily just nose dive down the rabbit hole.

### Sunday Update
Last week's MMG desired outcome: I forgot to set something!
This week's MMG desired outcome: Draft and publish here my strategy/approach to communication system, aka the AR Media Empire. I've been making strides towards getting that cluster of my WoG tied together better and reducing friction and wasted energy, so this week's desired outcome is to polish that thinking with documentation of a SOP.

>>Writing: I decided to move my schedule up. I'm going to finish the first draft by end of this month, and then aim to self publish end of March. That will give me time to have a go at submissions to Solarpunk Magazine in April, and then get started on my real fiction project before my walk. I want to have momentum built up by then so when I come back I'm picking the project up, not starting from zero.

DM/email me if you're interested in beta reading the draft. I'll be seeking critical feedback at any scale you'd care to give. It's looking to be just under 40k words.

>>Four weeks of consistent workouts in.

>>I found Founders Podcast, and whoa it's addictive. I've been going deep on Paul Graham and Naval Ravikant. I think Graham's essay http://www.paulgraham.com/love.html is really relevant to the freedom-to and 'meaningful activity' component of ERE.
paulg wrote:It used to perplex me when I read about people who liked what they did so much that there was nothing they'd rather do. There didn't seem to be any sort of work I liked that much. If I had a choice of (a) spending the next hour working on something or (b) be teleported to Rome and spend the next hour wandering about, was there any sort of work I'd prefer? Honestly, no.

But the fact is, almost anyone would rather, at any given moment, float about in the Carribbean, or have sex, or eat some delicious food, than work on hard problems. The rule about doing what you love assumes a certain length of time. It doesn't mean, do what will make you happiest this second, but what will make you happiest over some longer period, like a week or a month.

Unproductive pleasures pall eventually. After a while you get tired of lying on the beach. If you want to stay happy, you have to do something.

As a lower bound, you have to like your work more than any unproductive pleasure. You have to like what you do enough that the concept of "spare time" seems mistaken. Which is not to say you have to spend all your time working. You can only work so much before you get tired and start to screw up. Then you want to do something else—even something mindless. But you don't regard this time as the prize and the time you spend working as the pain you endure to earn it.
and then
paulg wrote:With such powerful forces leading us astray, it's not surprising we find it so hard to discover what we like to work on. Most people are doomed in childhood by accepting the axiom that work = pain. Those who escape this are nearly all lured onto the rocks by prestige or money. How many even discover something they love to work on? A few hundred thousand, perhaps, out of billions.

It's hard to find work you love; it must be, if so few do. So don't underestimate this task. And don't feel bad if you haven't succeeded yet. In fact, if you admit to yourself that you're discontented, you're a step ahead of most people, who are still in denial. If you're surrounded by colleagues who claim to enjoy work that you find contemptible, odds are they're lying to themselves. Not necessarily, but probably.

Although doing great work takes less discipline than people think—because the way to do great work is to find something you like so much that you don't have to force yourself to do it—finding work you love does usually require discipline.
Of course, read this and find/replace 'work' with 'meaningful activity', to make it relevant for FI/ERE people.

The main point I found hopeful is that finding meaningful activity is likely very difficult, but it's worth the effort. I can get down on myself for thinking it's supposed to be easy. But really, the world is set up to make it a really difficult question to answer. It's unreasonable to expect myself to be able to sit down with a coffee and a journal and successfully note down what makes me come alive in the world, and then just go do it. It's going to take some work.

The brilliance of ERE praxis is that it provides the time/space necessary to answer that question without being a stressball FTE maniac.

I feel like I'm getting close, I'm converging on the energy source. It's been hard for me to sleep recently. I'll either wake up at 0400 ready to go, or never really fall asleep. After a few days of this I'll have a few full nights of hard sleep. I've been using small doses of THC as an occasional sleep aid (so, yeah, not doing the straightedge thing), maybe 1-3x week depending on if I'm able to fall asleep naturally or not. I'm going to check out the Huberman episode on it though to decide whether to continue or adjust my use.
Last edited by AxelHeyst on Sun Feb 05, 2023 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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mountainFrugal
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by mountainFrugal »

AxelHeyst wrote:
Sun Feb 05, 2023 4:15 pm
I feel like I'm getting close, I'm converging on the energy source. It's been hard for me to sleep recently. I'll either wake up at 0400 ready to go...
This is how I felt last year when I was going deep on defining my "freedom-to" vision. viewtopic.php?p=251624#p251624

I still wake up stoked to get after it, but the 4am stuff got more in balance and occurs less often (still up at 530-6 though!). Enjoy the mania that comes with getting closer to your stoke wellspring.

Scott 2
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Re: The Education of Axel Heyst

Post by Scott 2 »

Since you are enjoying that podcast, have you come across The Almanack of Naval Ravikant?

https://www.navalmanack.com/almanack-of ... f-contents

A guy aggregated the content from Naval's twitter into a book.

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