3 yrs to FI: ertyu's journal

[Frita]

Congrats on being done! Yeah, one can’t control others’ reactions. It sounds like you wanted some emotional validation from them and were disappointed when they didn’t match your expectation. Just curious, are these people typically empathetic and how did the topic of what you are moving on to come up with your former colleagues?

[7Wannabe5]

Congratulations! I think it's funny how I am kind of on the opposite path from you at the age of 58. As in, "Ooops, forgot to complete Level Orange." I think there are only maybe 2 people in my social circle who have not expressed total support for my rather unusual attempt to start a new career in tech at my age. And one of them was just grumbling, because I told him I had too much homework to come over and play with him one weekend.

[mountainFrugal]

Congrats again from someone who knows what your next opportunity means.

A song for you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgRUlDjyzaw

[ertyu]

@OOtB yes, that's exactly what was happening. They couldn't see themselves making the move and being excited about it, so a lot of the reaction I got was social glitching bc "does not compute"

@Frita: I am not buddies with my colleagues so we don't have a history of being supportive of each other but at least half of the people have enough social skills to have picked up the "cue phrases" and done the expected polite surface exchange. As for how the topic came up, it's a common small talk topic this time of the year. It's easier to process a bunch of foreigners at once so usually, most of us have similar contract end/start dates, and while people do get hired at other times as well, e.g. new year etc, most are on a recruiting cycle that matches the college graduation cycle. So around June and around December, "so are you sticking around, then" // "nah, i'm moving on" // "oh nice, where to?" is a common script.

@7w5 power to you -- I've been following along your journal even though I don't always comment and the transition you're embarking on seems like a smart move in the circumstances. From your tone, I'm left with little doubt that you'll succeed, fingers crossed that it goes smooth.

@mF: thanks! And also for the song: a new band to me! I'll check them out

[UrbanHomesteader]

Congratulations on the new career move. I look forward to hearing more about it!

[AxelHeyst]

I for one am very excited for you Prof Ertyu! Nice one.

[ertyu]

Well, I'm on my new campus and moved into my new apartment. It has a small bedroom, a small living room, a kitchen with a microwave and a single induction hotplate, toilet and a shower. As a dormitory apartment, it's depended for its maintenance on the joint efforts of a bunch of transient employees and vastly underpaid local support staff so there is a lot of cosmetic maintenance to be done - scrubbing the whole bathroom carefully to get the mildew out of the grout, cleaning the ac, recaulking everything, etcetera. I have decided I will put effort into maintaining the place even though I, too, might be a transient employee. I want to live in a space which feels nice. Having arrived with a good lead time to the start of the academic year, I have a lot of time to take these various cosmetic repairs at my own pace. I have already recaulked the kitchen sink and scrubbed the bathroom tiles thoroughly. Amazing the amount of scum that can accumulate. For your amusement, imagine a fat ungainly dude on his hands and knees with one of those green and yellow scrubbers, sweating and going at it . Building skills, etcetera

The apartment is a fifth floor walk-up, which has 2 benefits: exercise, and adding a "do I really want to lug this upstairs" aspect to every purchase. Online shopping is made similarly inconvenient by the package pick-up place being a 20 min walk away (in addition to lugging one's packages upstairs). On the whole, I'm hoping this will encourage good habits. So far, I've already been eating cleaner. Needing to get off-campus to purchase snacks is a deterrent. I also seem to average 10-15k steps a day - let's see how things develop once the academic year starts.

The university is also on a metro stop, but I haven't explored the city much yet. I've been lazy, and it's been hot.

It also seems like my new employer provides funding for a long-distance MA in Education through a partner British Uni (not a fancy one). Do I want a MA in Education?? I am not particularly interested in the field or excited about the subject but it's a free MA from a "western" uni. I don't need to make a decision any time soon but I've been thinking about it. Other decisions: do I want to paint? Do I want to replace the rotten side boards? I do want the place to be painted and the sideboards replaced, but as always, it's to be weighed against my laziness and against, I regret to admit, my worry that others will see me as crazy for putting this much effort into a university apartment (being a herd/social animal is ridiculous some days).

Have encountered future colleagues but have not spoken with anyone at length. Let's see how it goes.

[Frita]

Thanks for the update, ertyu. It sounds like you’re making your space comfortable and understand the logistics of the apartment. Now that it’s clean, all you have to do is maintain it.

You mentioned that staff are transient and not meeting anyone yet. Could be good or bad…that can bring out friendliness or insular behavior. I have seen both. What makes people not want to stay?

It doesn’t sound like you want to pursue a MA in education. But you hinted at being more active and eating better as targets. Previously you mentioned traveling too. How are things in that department?

[ertyu]

What makes people not want to stay?

Expat life. It's by nature a transient existence. Plus, other jobs pay more. The 2500 usd after tax I will be receiving over ten out of 12 months are more than enough to live comfortably in local terms but it might not do for an American paying off a mortgage at home, for instance, or for someone with 3 kids that wants to put them in a local English-language private school. I did know two people who've worked here for a while, one for 4 one for close to 10 years. They both vouched this is an alright place to work. Hopefully, they would turn out to be right.

In other news, I have discovered that there is a live music venue a couple of blocks away, the sort of place where local artists stop when they're doing their "national" tours. Might go see a band tonight.

[guitarplayer]

Bravo, great stuff! Glad to read about you settling in at the new place okay. The allure of 'starting something new' is something I occasionally (towards 'frequently') miss.

[Frita]

$250/month after tax for 10 months with a free apartment to live in a place where that covers the cost of living, ah, I understand now. Thank you for explaining, ertyu. It sounds like the people that you know liked it enough to stick around a fairly long time. Only time will tell what the fit is like for you.

Meanwhile, live music is one benefit of a uni town. (That is on our agenda as well today.) It’s a great way to meet people (or just people watch), exercise, relax, and have some fun.

[ertyu]

yeah, I had fun, the band was great. so far im loving what i've seen from the city, too - lots of cheap eateries around the uni, food carts, etc - vibrant place that comes alive at night

I only hope I'd be able to do the job and won't end up batshit crazy as usual when the job actually starts and i'm working full time. here's hoping.

[2Birds1Stone]

I understood it as $2500/month? Big difference if so....

[ertyu]

I understood it as $2500/month? Big difference if so....

Yeah, it's USD 2.5k. The 250 was probably a typo. Regardless, the salary is a deterrent to many westerners with advanced degrees (you need a MA+ to teach at the university level, unless you are an english teacher of course). My coworkers appear to be mostly russian, indian/pakistani, or married to locals and with long-term ties to the country

[Frita]

My bad, I assumed annual contract rather than monthly pay.

Having a place you enjoy while not working is huge. Happy exploring!

[Dave]

I'm a little late here, but wanted to say congrats on the new situation! I'm happy for you and it's great to see you excited for this!

Very cool with the proximity to live music.

[ertyu]

In what I recognize as a very age-appropriate burst of folly, during the last two weeks I took my Internet Thing (henceforth IT) of two years on a trip to Japan. As these things tend to go, IT is 13 years younger and I am slowly but surely inching towards my mid-forties. We are of similar body type and attractiveness though one does have to admit that IT does have nicer hair and skin. And pretty eyes. And is quite nice and soft to hug

By objective, rational metrics this was certainly a dumb move but I felt strongly that if I didn't do it, I'd be missing out on a key midlife crisis milestone -- there's no fool like an old fool, etcetera. I even bought a 5-pack of new underwear (one pair yellow) and tried to dye my hair blue - if one is to have a midlife crisis, one might as well have it properly - though sadly the blue dye didn't really catch. I do feel these details are important in setting the mood, however.

While I don't see this going anywhere beyond loosely long-distance as it's been, meeting in person was interesting as it made me have a bunch of thoughts both about myself and about ERE.

Here is the part of this that's relevant to ERE:

IT and I are quite similar in that we're both fat and lazy. By lazy, I mean that neither of us does any serious exercise beyond what is demanded of us by our immediate environment. The difference is that save for a 4-year libtard college stint way back when, my immediate environment has always been urban and either very conducive to walking (DC with it's broad sidewalks, solid public transportation system, and hiking trails easily accessible from most points in the more affluent part of the city), or urban and second world/middle income country style - e.g. for the past two years, I worked in a sixth floor walk-up and now I live in a fifth-floor walk-up.

IT's immediate environment is suburban northern florida.

Because there's nowhere feasibly walkable, IT doesn't walk unless it's around the house, at the store, or unless IT makes an explicit effort to "go for a walk." Because all is flat and there are no stairs, including at curbs to facilitate mobility scooters, IT doesn't really go up or down steps as a part of IT's daily life. At not even 30, IT struggled with half the daily steps someone ~15 yrs older was making. IT's feet hurt. IT needed a rest day between day trip days in order to recover, and IT's enjoyment of IT's environment was limited by the fact that at most times, IT was at least in some level of pain. Going up and down the stairs of the Osaka metro, walking nature trails that went at an incline (even downhill), and climbing stairs in castles and the like quickly made IT's ankles and tendons hurt.

Now, at this point, I need to stop and make a note about where I -DONT- want this to go: namely, boo lmao what a lame loser that hasn't exercised or taken care of ITself. IT and I are not different - we both do no more, no less than what is demanded of us by our environment. But because our environment is different, my baseline level of functional fitness way exceeds that of someone 15 years younger. Another way to look at the same thing is, in order to be as fit as me, IT would need to consciously set aside additional time and devote it to the chore of exercising. It would take time, conscious effort, and executive function. It would introduce a cognitive load -- the same reasons why I myself never really developed a conscious, programmatic exercise habit.

I never considered the 21-day makeover in depth, partly because it is very much geared towards the situation of someone living in the US ca. 2010. But this experience has really made me appreciate its deeper central logic. Living close to work and groceries, and in a location where one can feasibly ditch one's car aren't first and foremost about saving money. They're about changing one's environment such that its demands on you have far-reaching systemic effects. I understood this theoretically before now but my experience traveling with IT has really brought it home in a way a simple theoretical understanding that stopped at the intellectual level did not. I like IT. When I see IT fail to enjoy the full experiences available to IT to the fullest, I am sad. I want more for IT, as one tends to for people one likes. At the same time, I can't help but wonder what limitations I'm placing on my own life. This might seem self-evident to others, but so far, I've always seen life from the unconscious vantage point of someone for whom more physical effort = more suffering. Any benefits to increased fitness were, in other words, theoretical and on the intellectual level, whereas the costs and disincentives were experienced on a physical and visceral level. I bet you you can guess which one of these was more real to me.

Now, my vantage point has changed. Instead of taking for granted my body's capacity to facilitate access to experiences such as taking a walk next to the Kobe waterfalls, it has been made clear to me how much more limited my life would be if i were limited to the nice, manicured tourist experiences accessible by cable car - or to sit-down experiences such as restaurants and coffee shops which, although nice, keep one in the consumer loop while contributing to the central problem (or at least not helping it any).

And what of the effects of this over time? What would IT's life be like at 45, 55, 60?

At this stage I'll disappoint yall: I have not suddenly become gung-ho about fitness - at least not about the type where one plans to have X reps or exercise A at time B and one keeps one's numbers in a nice little logbook. But it has made me more conscious. How that consciousness will translate into changed behavior, I'll see. While I'm sure many here will have suggestions, if you got this far in reading this post, please refrain from giving them. I am aware all of them would give results if I actually were to implement them, but my first criterion isn't results in the engineering sense, it's psychological congruence and organic integrity w my overall inner make-up. No other solution will be effective because no other solution will be sustainable: today, I am fit to the extent that I've made small consistent efforts -over time- : in other words, it's only worked to the extent that I've sustained it. At this stage, I simply wanted to share my thoughts.

[fingeek]

Interesting! It's kinda awesome to realise that when you force that constraint in your environment, then your behaviour quickly follows and then we end up with this thing called habit!

I sold my car about 6 months ago, and it's only after reading your post I now realise that I won't think anything of walking 3 miles to get somewhere, or jog 6 miles because it's easier than getting a bus. A nice conjoint of saving money, better for environment, exercise, getting out in nature etc.

Have you noticed the same sort of -function happen in other areas of life?

[ertyu]

Have you noticed the same sort of -function happen in other areas of life?

The location of one's shelter is really key imo. Up until two months ago, I used to live across the street from a mall with bakeries, 3 different Starbucks, etc. It was on the way home from work. It wasn't unusual to "pass through the mall" for a junk-food snack at the end of a tiring work day. Or just to cross the street and get a snack. The threshold for these behaviors was low. Also low threshold activities: going downstairs to buy fruit from the store at the street level of my apartment building, going to the street level of my apartment building to pick up my online shopping packages, etc. Or crossing the other street for a coffee and a convenience store sandwich, to be had on a bench in a local "park" (small green area between apartment and office buildings, more like).

Now I live on a university campus. Immediate snacks are 10 min walk away and online shopping package pick-up is 20 min walk away. The mall with the bakeries exists but it is a metro stop away instead of immediately across the street. Current lowest effort action? Tossing a bunch of lentils in the pot and boiling them, and otherwise relying on the groceries available in my fridge.

As for cars, I never had one so going without one wasn't a choice I had to consider making. I am from a small walkable town with 10 or so bus lines that adequately cover the area, except i've always been too cheap to pay the fare so i'd walk. My family never owned a car except for a short stint because we couldn't afford one. I never learned to drive, it wasn't necessary to living an independent adult life and there wouldn't have been a car for me to drive anyway. Nowadays, I don't want to learn, and if that's strange for a 40 y/o dude, I'm fine with that, it's not the only way in which I'm a weirdo. So I've always either chosen cities and apartments where I could do without a car or I've figured out how to do without. If a car was necessary to live somewhere, I wouldn't live there, full stop.

Other -functions: uninstalling the food delivery apps. Again structuring the environment. Ordering food delivered is just not something that happens. Thus lentils in a pot remains the lowest effort action.

[Dave]

Interesting posts @ertyu, sounds like a very interesting experience and a lot for you to chew on!

For most (but not all!) of my life I have been someone who enjoys being physically active. I struggle with some light depression/mood/energy issues, and find that although it is hard to get off the couch, I always feel vastly better doing so (currently hyping myself up for hill sprints, and failing, haha). Improved mental health has been a big motivator for me.

To your point about seeing the limits imposed by our physical capabilities, this has become particularly poignant to me over the last few years. I'm in my mid 30s and have seen a noticeable drop off in the physical abilities of many of my lifelong friends. What to me is a pretty modest hike is an ordeal that is unpleasant by others. And it makes me sad, because this lack of ability shuts off a meaningful portion of life experience for them, and selfishly limits the people I can share such experiences with. Falling physical capabilities often results being increasingly constrained to generic consumer experiences. And while I'm not religiously opposed to doing these things sometimes, it's just that there are some things that are really magnificent to do that require physical exertion, and having a base level of fitness is a necessary aspect to do or enjoy them.

I don't presume to know what it takes (psychologically) to go from there to here, and I don't minimize the challenges. I want to be clear that's not my message here. Just that this very idea of the limits imposed by low levels of fitness has long been on my mind and not a minor thing. Similar to what you said, I find zooming out your life timeline 10-20-30-etc. years down the road and extrapolating general bodily atrophy from current fitness level is a powerful framework for considering whether you are heading in a direction you like. My parents are in two very different places physically, and this is largely a result of lifestyle choices. It's tough to watch.

While I do enjoy most of my workouts, on days I'm particularly resistant I remind myself that a lot of what I'm doing is building (or at least preserving) a reservoir of health that I can draw upon when I get tired, sick, or just older and my health fails me. Just like having a pot of financial capital is helpful for many sorts of things and can improve parts of life, I think physical health does the exact same thing in other areas of life.

Just some rambling thoughts after a night of sleep deprivation, hope it makes some sense and isn't against the spirit of your request!