Thank you, all, for your support and insight.
I truly appreciate it.
Friday I quit. It did not come as a surprise. This is something that has happened before. Multiple times. My predecesor stayed for two years. I think that lulled people into the sense that the situation was better than it is.
Then a stakeholder who I really click with came in and begged me to stay. Tears don’t affect me but she gave it a go. But then she said that she knows we have a vision for the place and actually have the background to improve the situation. True and that is part of why cutting my losses seems smart. Then she said that I find meaning in serving others and would regret just sitting at home bored. Well, damn, that’s true.
Clarification, I actually really like the people we serve and feel it’s meaningful. If I didn’t care, I could walk away. For example, this gal escaped Russian during WWII with her remaining family, spent the war years in Germany before making it to the US, and worked as a hospital administrator before retiring a couple decades ago. Did I mention that I really like her?
Anyway, I said I’d think about it as I frantically worked in a methodical way. A few hours later she came back with her spouse who is the Board’s VP. I decided to give it another two weeks. Hugs all around. Despite this flakiness on my part, people seemed really relieved.
If I am going to stay and the place is going to turn around, there are going to need some major shifts. There are few formalized procedures, low standards, an it’s-always-been-this-way faction, and a resistance to systemic thinking. That explains the chaos. The nonprofit was not adequately funded from the start. They haven’t wanted to increase costs for clients, fundraise, or consider how to manage the budget better.
And yes, there has been a history of director churn. The position is not adequately compensated for the duties and responsibility. So...it attracts the wrong people who ignore and/or contribute to the dysfunction in exchange for money. (Same deal with staff and vendors.) Money sure complicates things. This feels more like a paid volunteer position than a paid internship or a professional position. I am going to have to work on better boundaries myself.
Scott 2 wrote: ↑Fri Jul 31, 2020 12:24 pm
Two views:
Funny, in the early days of your journal, I was thinking "this one needs help...". As time passes, that's changed to "Frita knows what she's doing, I'm going to pay attention..."
Thanks? Like most people, I have some things figured out and am clueless in other areas (Think Jahari’s Window:
https://www.successfulculture.com/build ... ri-window/) My journal is an attempt to figure out where I struggle.
When I started, I was more strongly identified with my role as an educator and in a work profession. My end vision was to figure out how to quit working and enjoy it. This summer I have realized that is not the goal at all. As @Jackrigger wrote in @c_L’s journal, “ Trying to balance two unsatisfactory extremes is... Unsatisfactory.” For me, a meaningful life includes contributing to something bigger than myself beyond my family.
My biggest life mission is raising our twins. Our favorite local resale shop opened up this past week. While our teen is going through a multi-year period of sensitivity wearing used items, he picked up some brand new Nikes for $5 each. Then he went back and found some other school clothes items. He Googled the retail, realizing he paid pennies on the dollar. This has opened him up to the possibilities of saving early and often. He has been reading Dave Ramsey’s stuff for teens (I am not a fan but get that he has to start somewhere.). He’s talking about the value of not going into debt and what he observes with his friends/peers and their families. My spouse has been teaching him to drive, but he seems to prefer his fixie.
3 things for which I am grateful:
1. Ducttape: My $3 garage sale Mary Jane Crocs have a hole in the sole. Darn, they are broken in and single wealth (LOL reference up thread)! I can slap some ducttape on and walk a good 10 miles. I am curious when I’ll have matching holes. (Note that I have done this with other footwear. I am not bragging. It’s probably a bit odd anywhere but with our crowd.)
2. Bali cherries: The fruit is coming on around town. Sadly, our tree didn’t make it. I still like looking at them. Unlike apples, there are never any to forage.
3. The Blue Goose: This is my 50 year old beater bike and my favorite ride. I don’t worry about it being stolen but lock it anyway and garage it at night. Decades ago my 1950s Hiawatha had the U-lock cut. That was a sweet ride.