What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

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theanimal
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What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by theanimal » Thu Apr 11, 2019 11:31 am

A short interview with Abigail Disney that's worth reading:
https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/abigail- ... spend.html

Some snippets:
Has the way you spend money changed?
I think that people who grow up in this kind of life go one of two ways. They either go the Kim Kardashian route, which is spending, spending, spending, completely absorbing the idea that, “Yes, you are that special,” and wanting everyone to look at you. Or, and I know a lot of people who’ve gone this way — especially my women friends — you do the opposite. I wore shitty clothes around. I didn’t want anyone to know what I had but money is morally neutral. It does not, in and of itself, make you a bad person. It also does not, in and of itself, makes you a good person. You are who you are and the least important thing about you is what you have. That was not, “You haven’t earned it,” you know. So my philosophy is you try to earn it in reverse.
I found the last paragraph to be the most powerful
........
They did a study at the Chronicle of Philanthropy years ago where they asked people who inherited money, “What amount of money would you need to feel totally secure?” And every single one of them, no matter what they had, named a number that was roughly twice what they inherited. So that’s what you need to know about money, right? If that is your primary measure of success or value in life, then good luck with that, because it will never feel good.
The same results could be found on this board and throughout the FIREsphere. Always chasing that illusion of security!

Scott 2
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by Scott 2 » Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:01 pm

I see two sides of this:

1. There's a level of poor where more money really is part of the answer. It's hard to be "moral" when you struggle to afford food, have never had a safe place to sleep and everyone you know is mired in the same situation.

2. There does come a point where one has enough, and money is being used as a false idol, to hide from the existential challenges of life. I think a feeling of security comes from facing them head on, but it is really hard work. I could understand someone avoiding it forever. That bar IMO, is much much lower than most will admit. It's certainly not "I never have to work again amounts". I think it could be as low as a year's living expenses.

C40
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by C40 » Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:06 pm

Yeah. double my net worth is almost exactly what I would say I want to feel totally secure. :-D.
Last edited by C40 on Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

C40
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by C40 » Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:08 pm

There are also two good documentaries along this subject:

One that I can’t rmember the name of but you could google - made by the son of some JNJ founders family.

The other is called “The Queen of Versailles “ (spelling of last word may be wrong) and there is an incredible polarity between the husband who is down to earth and earned a boat load of money and his trophy wife who is totally clueless about how the world works because she has always had money dumped on her.

cimorene12
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by cimorene12 » Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:12 pm

The first one might be The One Percent.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_One_Percent_(film)

IlliniDave
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by IlliniDave » Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:37 pm

To me "success and value in life" and "totally secure" (financially) aren't really the same thing. I feel I can have much success and value in life and still wish I had twice as much money, although I don't believe 2 X stash would provide total financial security, or any other realistic number I could name. Total security is an illusion.

unemployable
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by unemployable » Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:57 pm

Do we all need to reread the last page of The Great Gatsby?

I wouldn't be so critical of the Kardashians. They are collectively shrewd marketers. I don't buy what they sell but certainly a lot of people do. You don't just build an sustaining empire of extravagance at random simply by having a famous lawyer husband.

I'd volunteer this guy instead. That's from six years ago; wonder what's happened to the kids.

Chris
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by Chris » Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:54 am

C40 wrote:
Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:08 pm
One that I can’t rmember the name of but you could google - made by the son of some JNJ founders family.
Born Rich maybe?

7Wannabe5
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Apr 12, 2019 5:04 am

Well, there is no physiological, installed by evolution, means by which to feel like you have enough money. I was struck by this passage in "The Hungry Brain.":
Yet in affluent countries today, the future is much more certain than ever before in human history. Mortality is far lower, and life expectancy far higher, than in the distant past. We have so much legal accountability in affluent countries that it's rational to hand over large sums of money to investment companies that grow it at a snail's pace, even if we won't be able to that money until we're retired! Today it makes sense to value our future selves almost as much as our present selves- but the nonconscious brain regions that compute value and determine our motivations have not caught up yet. This makes it all too easy to make choices that compromise our future finances, health, and weight, even if our intentions are good. And it goes a long way toward explaining why we overeat.
This passage was from a section that discussed research on the power of episodic future thinking. Vivid visualization of future you in future circumstances can serve as token to counterweight bowl of jelly beans in front of current you when making decision.

It has been my observation that the more wealth a person accumulates, the more directly the concern themselves with the complex factor of "legal accountability" and the more negative visualizations they hold in relationship to possible loss of wealth. My multi-millionaire friend has repeatedly told me a terrible story about a couple who worked hard all their lives to achieve upper-middle-class status, only to end with the wife being left to die abandoned in a house in terrible state, her body not found until days later, due to uncaring descendants. He also shares the story about moving to the city from the farm as a young man, being fired from his job, and having to eat from a dumpster. Obviously, not likely that somebody is going to be happy with their wealth if visualizations like that are constantly running through brain.

IlliniDave
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by IlliniDave » Fri Apr 12, 2019 8:56 am

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Fri Apr 12, 2019 5:04 am
Well, there is no physiological, installed by evolution, means by which to feel like you have enough money. I was struck by this passage in "The Hungry Brain.":
That's an interesting point/observation/quote. For a "wild human" of yore life and ongoing accumulation of subsistence needs were effectively synonyms.

I don't think there is any way around people always carrying formative life experiences/observations with them. We can rationalize them away, but reason I believe is the lesser of the two primary motivators in human behavior (emotion being the other, and dominant one). That of course is just my own rather non-erudite opinion.

I can't imagine ever completely forgetting the very visceral experience of rooting through garbage for food. Having never done that myself, avoidance of it is not something that truly motivates me to over-accumulate or safeguard wealth. What does motivate me is my own relatively benign experiences of real stress that arose when resources were stretched thin.

These days I spend a lot of mental effort trying to define "enough", and haven't had a ton of success arriving at one I find convincing enough to be definitively actionable. I never considered that difficulty might be because my brain doesn't have the wiring to push the tumblers into place.

Jean
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Re: What It's Like to Grow Up With More Money....Disney Article

Post by Jean » Fri Apr 12, 2019 10:40 am

Having Seen how ridiculously easy dumpster diving is, i must Say that i feel safe with my amount of money.

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