My thoughts

Where are you and where are you going?
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Stahlmann
Posts: 571
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2016 6:05 pm

Re: My thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Fri Jun 14, 2019 12:02 pm

Hmmm. Thanks for remembering about my blog @lemur, @2b1s.

Tbh, I don't know what to write.

I'm definitely in my lower mood recently, but to some extent it's helpful.

My short term plan was/is to:
- reduce internet usage, by using only PC in library or etc.
- waking up in the morning and doing something what would develop myslef
- recovering from my injurires
- stealing somebody's job in DACH-area

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Stahlmann
Posts: 571
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2016 6:05 pm

Re: My thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:02 pm

WORK - JUNE 2019 - PART 1
- it's very easy to stomp on my fee fees and I very easily stomp on others fee fees (this is why I'm interested in ERE or UBI or whatever sponsorship available)
- I'm this nerdy stereotypical kid in glasses from American comedies but not so much smart :lol:
- I rather count down hours in the work
- On the other hand, I can even find pleasure in painting cells in Excel if it's my task
- I don't have so much contact with my boss atm, that's good
- any kind of promotion would need increasing understanding of people (ok, I really spent so much of time on this in the past) ... or more precisely actual doing something in this department, but that's tough
- this is work in oil&gas industry... in country without any kind industry.
- this somehow became daily grind (anticynicism censorship)
- I think they think that I tend to ignore them. I don't know how to escape this. I simply don't use eye contact
- I think my current team overall is pretty good. Much better than teams consisted of older folks one, because there they would treat me contemptuously as their son (in the best case) or data in Excel cell. Atm, atleast I can sympathize with "we're young and crazy"-culture, but that's tough.
- coming crisis doesn't make me happy

tl;dr the question is (or the task I'm atm involved in): how to not be perceived as meek in semi tough boy group and in the meantime learn something useful and finally work somewhere for real money.

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Bankai
Posts: 416
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:28 am

Re: My thoughts

Post by Bankai » Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:32 pm

Eye contact is the cornerstone of communication in our culture. If you're not comfortable holding eye contact with anyone for extended period, that might partially explain communication issues you're having. Fortunately, it can be learned. The best way to start is where stakes are low - i.e. holding eye contact with sales assistant when buying something is store. You can start with couple of seconds and gradually increase duration as you get more comfortable. You can also start throwing some small talk to the mix. But don't forget to (gently) smile - just starring makes ppl uncomfortable.

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Stahlmann
Posts: 571
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2016 6:05 pm

Re: My thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:43 pm

hmmm. when I listen to, I don't have problems with keeping eye contact. during speaking it's more inconvinient for me, because... I really fast have feeling that I invade the other person('s space).

bigato
Posts: 1834
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:43 pm

Re: My thoughts

Post by bigato » Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:46 pm

It’s the same for me. I even lost a job opportunity in the past and they told me part of the reason was why I wouldn’t look at peoples’ eyes while I was talking. It really sucked to have that feedback, I thought it was stupid.

Gilberto de Piento
Posts: 1256
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:23 pm

Re: My thoughts

Post by Gilberto de Piento » Tue Jun 18, 2019 1:07 pm

I like Bankai's advice. If that is too much you can try looking between their eyes or at their nose or something. It feels less awkward and the other person generally can't tell that you aren't making eye contact.

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