Lemur Journal!

[Western Red Cedar]

Thanks for the synopsis on dealing with your back pain. I've had some friends and colleagues that really struggled with it. Seeing people who are active and healthy quickly take a turn for the worse has been one of the strongest motivators to step away from a career to pursue other things.

Maybe I'll elaborate further on this in a future post but its hard to make a change when my life is very stable, I don't hate my job, and just the act of me sticking to a job and staying where I am at is providing a lot of stability to those around me (me leaving puts my Sister in a bind with my brother and 2 young kids here...). Kind of a guardian mentality that I've always had to some extent. I have let my family know we don't plan on sticking around forever.

I'd like to get my Spouse fully on-board with RE but its a tough nut to crack. In hindsight, FIRE was a easy convincing subject - ERE has been more difficult. Its tough to change when things don't suck...and considering I make over $100k a year, and my Spouse makes over $60k from her business, and we invest like 75%+ of that every 2 weeks, its no wonder our net-worth is growing like a weed.

We walk and talk a lot and have these conversations. In my 20s, I'd push my ideas hard. And I was very strict on multiple fronts - I'd stress over every penny that was not spent intelligently. Retiring early was the absolute goal. In my 30s, I've relaxed more and learned to listen more to my Spouse's thoughts & concerns...generally slow down in many areas of life. And being careful not to generate anxious feelings of needing to change things right away.

I honestly believe the whole 3% SWR is just a new goal-post I came up with to not have to think about RE too deeply since I don't see any major decisions on the lifestyle front coming soon lol. I like routines, being organized, and generally having something to work towards. That is where I find my strengths. I will need to figure out what this will mean for me (us?) in the future without 40 hours a week of paid employment.

I don't see anything wrong with continuing to work full-time in your circumstance. It sounds like things changed pretty dramatically once you switched jobs a while back. Having some stability and balance, providing support to extended family, while adding to the coffers is a great position. Additional resources may offer significant optionality down the road. I think the equation changes when when someone really dislikes their job or career.

In terms of your spouse getting on board with RE, have you ever tried framing it as an experiment or a sabbatical rather than retirement? Retirement feels like such a permanent concept, and carries a lot of baggage. Perhaps thinking about it as a different phase in life, one where she might spend 6-12 months with family in Asia, would help with a trial run.

Maybe she just doesn't actually want to "retire" as well. Perhaps you'll need to explore scenarios where she continues to work, and you ultimately transition to something different. This is the path @Jacob and his wife pursued.

[Lemur]

@Western Red Cedar

Oh very much so! My last employer felt like literal hell on earth. I was 100% on-board with freedom from. Now its not so bad at all. This is the best job I've ever had when considering all the variables that entails working full-time as a salaryman. Boring as all hell sometimes but I've complete autonomy over my work, I don't supervise anyone, my boss is great, co-workers are great, I'm respected for what I do, and I am full-time remote*.

Yeah retirement is a scary word. We're both at peak earnings, so the idea of cutting that cord is a scary one. I do think there is a scenario where she can continue to work and I can transition to something else. What that else is, I've no clue at the moment. I would like to feel what its like to not have any sort of work obligations for once in my life though. There are sooooo many books to read, ideas to ponder, places to explore, games to play, and time to do whatever we want with. That much is guarnteed. We will get there when we're ready.

Optionality...yeah this one is awesome. What I can say is I've a lot of that. I haven't really tried framing the next phase as a sabbatical. My Spouse is probably more under the impression I plan on laying around, getting fat, and browsing the internet all day or something. Not that there would be anything wrong with that from a philosophical standpoint but appearances matter to her. One thing I learned about my Spouse recently is that when we move overseas, she wants to start another small business. Not sure why...we've the funds. But perhaps it isn't all about the money. She might be deriving some sort of purpose from work.

In any case...full steam ahead for now. I do have an update about my job that might change things**. The Lemur story continues.

June 30, 2024

Net-worth:
$945k (Up $54k)

Finances: Holy crap. Not only did we reach a new $100k milestone but we blew through it. Markets up again, I'm getting rained on with dividends, and my Spouse invested another $20k from some big sales recently. On our way to 6 figures.

Spending/SWR: Spending came in at $2,453.40 for the month of June. Surprising since we went on a vacation this month. We never made it to Puerto Rico due to cancelled flights so we spent a few days in Miami. Love the beaches there but that is pretty much it. We rented a car and it was fun to just drive around and explore the city. Beats the hell out of DMV traffic that is for sure. Met expectations with keeping spending under $2500. Annualized at $29,440.80, this represents a 3.12% SWR for the month based on current net-worth. I did cut my phone bill down from $58 a month to $35 a month by switching to MINT.

Health: Started a cutting phase. Was 185lbs last month. Still 185lbs now though. I just started calorie counting a few days ago...so getting that habit back. Aiming for 180lbs by August 1. Lets do it.

Learning / Reading: Completed one course in Python. Started course #2. There are 5 courses altogther in this specialization I am going through on Coursera. It is mildly entertaining.

* Job: So much for those telework rumblings. Apparently our HR did an audit of timesheets and now there are questions about my status. So bossman calls me up and says he can't really protect our team anymore from an unofficial standpoint...if I want to stay remote I have to officially apply for it with reasonable accomodations. Most he can do is give me 30 days temporary remote status while I go through the process. He stated that he will approve my remote application but then when it goes up the chain it is out of his hands. Has to be signed off by top men.

**FU%K. I swore I would never go back to this DMV 3 hour commute Dante's inferno hellscape. Well I should've been proactive...writing was on the wall for a while.

In any case...I am ruminating about multiple scenarios on what to do about this. Best case scenario - I get approved and I keep my remote status. Worst case scenario - I am denied, they imply that I have to suck it up like everyone else, and come into the office 3x a week. Kubler Ross bargaining says maybe I can work something out where I only come in once a week. Other ruminations include jumping ship again and finding another FED remote job. These are getting tougher to find though. Unfortunetely, I do really want to hit my 3 year mark with the FEDS which may entail me sucking up the worst case scenario until April 1 of next year.

We will see. I've a lot to think about. I do have the power of optionality.

[fiby41]

Why not move closer to work?

[Lemur]

@fiby41

1. DMV housing cost of living is ridiculous. My current home situation allows us to hack the COL situation. Its a big reason why our savings rate has been excellent since I created this journal in 2018.

2. Family / Community ties where I live + my son really likes his school. I do too.

There are middle ground scenarios I might be able to work out such as only go in 1x a week or 2x. Not sure how special I am or not though lol. Top men will decide.

I did get some buy-in from my Spouse though. Came to an agreement. Should my situation not improve and I hit my 3 year mark next April, then I will resign. Sabbatical it is. The 3 year mark is not arbitrary - once you hit 3 years in the FEDs, you become a permanent employee and it makes getting Fed Jobs easier in the future.

[Lemur]

Monthly post time.

August 2, 2024

Net-worth:
$983k (Up $38k)

Finances: Another steller month...almost at 6 figures. Crazy. When I was 18 my goal was to "be a millionaire." Its not so important nowadays in my mind with savings rates and all but I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the day I see it on my spreadsheet. With the downturn in the market coming though it might be a couple of months or perhaps even next year. We've been spoiled I think.

Spending/SWR: Spending came in at at a new low record of $2,187.99 for the month of July. Very surprised given that we did 2 mini-trips this month but I think we curbed eating out after June's vacation. Annualized at $26,255.88, this represents a 2.67% SWR! for the month based on current net-worth. Also a new low and first time below 3%.

Health: So much for "let's do it" ....I gained 2 lbs lol up to 187 lbs. Okay for real this time...I was giving in to too many impulses last month. I'm tracking calories and stuff again. I can almost ATG squat 225 lbs though which is nice. Feeling strong in that regard. I just picked deadlifting back up after claiming I was retired from that too. I'm starting light - just slightly under bodyweight and working that into my current powerlifting program (Jim Wendler's 5/3/1).

I am still working on my flexibility. Still want to be able to touch my toes or even get palms to the floor comfortably. Years of dealing with back pain problems rendered me stiff as a board but I am getting better. I learned recently that if I stretch the hell out of my hip flexors / psoas muscles prior to hamstrings stretches, I can get a boost in flexibility from that. I could not bend and get my hands past my knees but I'm mid-shin now.

Learning / Reading: Still taking a Python specialization course slowly but surely. It is mildly entertaining. I do have an interesting code idea to find a Tagalog novel, create a python dictionary of the words, and find the most common words from it and order it in a list. I'm still studying Tagalog on and off but have been at a pleateu for a while now. I can string together very basic sentences but this stuff takes time (especially if you're kinda not putting in great effort). I will note a funny incident with my Spouse and Sister in the car and my Spouse and I talking back and forth in her language for a bit. It came out sponteneously and it was great comedy when my Sister was like WTH! .

Job: Still working from home. I filed paperwork to stay remote for multiple reasons. Haven't heard back but bossman and HR both haven't said anything. Got a perfect annual review and a $5k bonus. Sweet.

Spouse still agree with my current arrangement - they try to return me to office, I can use my FI powers for once.

Nothing much else to report. Work/Savings/dealing with 3 kids is mostly auto-pilot and busy.

Other journals are having great adventures. Some dealing with interesting complexities and projects and philosophical/psychological predicaments. Mine is just a Lemur Dad/Uncle saving money until he figures out what he really wants to do one day. TBH just another month of extreme gratitude for my position in life, the options I've, and also being the strongest physically I've ever been. So grateful to just not be in pain.

[mooretrees]

Your journal is one of the ones I really look forward to new posts. I enjoy your explorations, your gratitude is always refreshing and I really like how you write about your spouse and son. Anyway, wanted to comment as you sorta made it sound like you were boring compared to others.

Your journey through your back pain was fascinating! I’m so impressed at how you changed your situation. I’m keeping that part of journal bookmarked for when I might need to access it. Keep up the steady work!

[Lemur]

Thanks Mooretrees!

Happy to hear this journal is still providing some value to others. Gratitude is my personal superpower and it helps get me through this life. I took this course a few years ago when I was dealing with the stresses and anxieties that come from working high-consulting https://online.yale.edu/courses/science-well-being and it had a lasting impact on me. A key takeway from that course was how gratitude is strongly linked to longer lasting happiness and contentment...and a daily practice, which I still perform to this day, helps to raise baseline happiness levels. Gratitude for the basic things in life - running water, home air conditioning, the ability to buy whatever foods I want, a loving family...all these things I am grateful for; it is this attitude that also helps me get quick reality checks whenever I feel stressed or anxious over something. See my Spouse, 1 of 9 with two parents that did odd jobs and ran a fish/vegetable stand, told me one time when I asked her what a perfect day is for her that growing up if she had fish and rice on the table then it was a good day. I noted how she didn't answer that question directly because it wasn't important. She said being content was the goal. My Western self never thought of it that way and this was many years ago - a conversation I haven't forgotten. It was a humbling realization that the attitude we carry is important and gratitude is what has helped reshape mine.

On boring - yes I have to be honest. I am kinda bored lately though lol. Productive, good habits, and content but am bored. A lot of it is being drained from working, cleaning, 3 kids, maintaining the harmony of a multi-family household, and maintaining my workout routine. Not much leftover for active learning or doing interesting things and I sort of resign to passive entertainment when the former is done. I think it could be all the mimetic theory talk lately. I'm starting to long to do something big and bold. Just don't know what yet. And if it is even necessary. I'll figure this one out eventually but these days I'm just never in a rush.

[Western Red Cedar]

Happy to hear this journal is still providing some value to others. Gratitude is my personal superpower and it helps get me through this life. I took this course a few years ago when I was dealing with the stresses and anxieties that come from working high-consulting https://online.yale.edu/courses/science-well-being and it had a lasting impact on me. A key takeway from that course was how gratitude is strongly linked to longer lasting happiness and contentment...and a daily practice, which I still perform to this day, helps to raise baseline happiness levels. Gratitude for the basic things in life - running water, home air conditioning, the ability to buy whatever foods I want, a loving family...all these things I am grateful for; it is this attitude that also helps me get quick reality checks whenever I feel stressed or anxious over something.

One of the only notifications on my phone is a reminder to do my digital gratitude journal each morning and evening. Before going nomadic, I used an analog journal, but I've really appreciated the ease of doing it digitally over the last seven months.

Gratitude journals have been one of the most effective tools for a lasting change to my mentality. The key is a certain level of consistency. Often my morning entries are as simple as a good night's sleep, clean air, clean drinking water, shade, sunshine, financial stability, etc...

Continually reminding oneself of the simple pleasures in life is a game changer.

[Lemur]

@WRC

Today's gratitude was the free-time to be able to go on a jog and to learn about new birds. I planted some sunflowers a few months ago. I had no idea they could get so tall. One of them is about 9 foot tall. Never harvested them but lately on my jogs, I've been listening to the birds and wondering if I can tell a bird by its sound. Very hippy like. But until I planned sunflowers, I've never noticed these yellow birds with black heads. Google says they're "American Goldfinch." I must've had about 8 or so of them jumping around my garden this morning.

Oh I read Animal Farm by George Orwell...That book is so dark lol. It is one of those classics I've always heard about but never got around to reading. Damn pigs...this is why we can't have nice things. Candide by Voltaire next up.

Anyway, am scratching the itch of boredom these past few days. I’ve a book list that is 75 books long that I need to start digging into. I rid myself of my Reddit account and will be limiting the PS5 time...too many distractions that are not allowing creativity to flourish. Every time I do one of these digitial breaks, I always find many positive outcomes but this isn't my first rodeo either. I have noticed a pattern where I slowly get back into them...then I'm back to old habits. Its like having a cookie jar out and making a one cookie rule. Seems logical but at least for me this strategy always fails eventually.

[delay]

Every time I do one of these digitial breaks, I always find many positive outcomes but this isn't my first rodeo either. I have noticed a pattern where I slowly get back into them...then I'm back to old habits. Its like having a cookie jar out and making a one cookie rule. Seems logical but at least for me this strategy always fails eventually.

That's my experience too. I think the problem with limits is that it makes the limited activity look like a reward. Site blockers and time limits backfire exactly like you say, where I slowly go back.

To break free from the habit, the image of the habit must change from good to bad. When you perceive cookies as industrial excrement, no rules are required to stop eating them.

[Lemur]

August 31, 2024

Net-worth:
$1,010k (Up $27k)

Finances: Mr. Lemur "Hey babe, we millionaires now." Mrs. Lemur "Cool." That was it lol.

Spending/SWR: A little high. $3,040. Lots of one off expenses like passport renewals and a few gifts for parties. SWR at 3.5% or so when annualized.

Health/Fitness: Conflicting goals have a problem: When one wants to build muscle and strength but also cut down and look lean. Works great when one is just starting but I think I am past newbie gain stage and I am no longer a beginner. I had to resolve this by giving up on one (looking lean). So I gave up on cutting. Decided to just eat 3000-3250 calories every day and start a bulk. Looking to actually gain 0.5-1 pound a week. Will continue on until 2025 and then cut beginning new year’s. I also modified my workout from powerlifting routine and closer to a powerbuild routine (mix of powerlifting and bodybuilding type lifts).

Glad I made this change. Cutting was failing and I was kind of spinning my wheels for a while. I now have a spark again because things were getting dull. And also feels awesome to have excess energy. Surprisingly I gained no weight after my first week despite averaging 3100 calories a day. I believe that giving myself these 4 months to bulk and add up some muscle should make the next cut easier.

Learning / Reading: Re-reading some of the EDT theory from Susanne Cook-Greuter. Have read Candide by Voltaire this month and picked up another book called 1947: Where Now Begins Hardcover by Elisabeth Åsbrink. But mostly I've been diving into differences on powerlifting versus bodybuilding - that seems to be my current obsession. I haven't tried explicitly lifting for hypertrophy. So it’s different, new, exciting.

Job: Still working from home. All I really care about. Too easy and boring and often every Monday the goal is to find something to work on for the week that is at least a bit challenging. We're supposed to be doing some massive data migration starting sometime next year so I'm looking forward to that one so my 8 hours of lethargy can go by quicker lol.

Other: Son just started 3rd grade. They've the option of picking up an instrument this year. Not sure if worth investment or not but he has expressed some interest in learning a string instrument. We shall see. On multi-family living front, it is starting to get old. Unfortunately, my Brother and I have been butting heads recently. Well we always butt heads now and then but the severity and the frequency of the head butting has grown considerably. He's been butting heads with my Sister as well...and my Sister is normally a conflict avoidance type so its surprsing to see. So every sitcom has its drama between the characters and that is how I define August. It did get to a point this month where I seriously considered it might be time for my Spouse and I to break from free from our family and get our own living arrangements. Sister and I have had perfect harmony for many years but when my brother and his 2 kids moved in about a year ago now, things changed. Mostly for the worst. But anyway with the kids back in school and a routine being more settled for everyone here, I think things will calm.

[guitarplayer]

Hey congrats on being millionaires @Lemur! Nice ride, you are sorted it seems.

Funny as it might seem, I never settled on what constitutes my net worth. Do you know if there a fairly accepted way of counting this / thread on the forum?

ETA: Also, get your son to try learning guitar!

[Henry]

Net-worth:
$1,010k (Up $27k)

I'm not sure if the first k was a mistake or a numerical euphemism for saying you have a stick. Either way, time to use the m.

[Lemur]

@guitarplayer - Not sure what is considered acceptable or not. I just consider it as any investable asset (equity, treasury, bonds) and cash. I don't count posessions. Mostly because outside of my car, I don't own many other things. If I had a house, I'd count the equity in it though.

@Henry - You're right. Very unsophisticated of me. $1.01m it is. Will add two new goals this month: (1) grow a curly mustache. This one might be hard because I have trouble growing facial hair. But now that I'm a millionaire, it might be easier. (2) Also will consider buying clothes for the first time.

[guitarplayer]

Yes I am thinking how to go about property and pensions. It feels a bit of a stretch to be counting these but it does make sense to count them.

I thought the 1,010k was on purpose hah. Also (2) is a good one.

[Henry]

Hey babe, we are 1,010K's !!!!

No wonder Mrs. Lemur didn't give a shit.

[NewBlood]

Finances: Mr. Lemur "Hey babe, we millionaires now." Mrs. Lemur "Cool." That was it lol.

Other: On multi-family living front, it is starting to get old. [...] It did get to a point this month where I seriously considered it might be time for my Spouse and I to break from free from our family and get our own living arrangements.

Congrats on the milestone, love the reaction

Now that you're 1000 killionnaires, at what point would you consider living on your own? Do the pros of multi-family living (other than financial) still outweigh the cons? Or is it mostly a financial decision?

[Lemur]

Congrats on the milestone, love the reaction

Now that you're 1000 killionnaires, at what point would you consider living on your own? Do the pros of multi-family living (other than financial) still outweigh the cons? Or is it mostly a financial decision?

When Spouse & I finally pull the trigger and retire, that will be the point we're living on our own. We're not there yet for .... reasons. Pros still outweigh cons mostly from a finanial standpoint, but also when things are running smoothly, its somewhat life affirming even for the introverted types. Avoids the problem of being too much of a loner for me. Personality typing is useful when conflicts abound because upon reflection, sometimes its just a matter of clashing between my ISTJ and my brother's INTP.

October 2, 2024

Net-worth:
$1.036m

Finances: Curly mustache intact.

Spending/SWR: $2,879.86. Annualized that is $34,558.32. SWR of 3.34%. Would be lower but had big ticket items - 2 year car registration renewal, paid mint mobile for 3 months, a going away dinner for my Spouse.

Health/Fitness: Every month in the best shape of my life basically hitting PRs week to week. I did tweak my back at the start of September but then recovered in about 3 weeks. So I dropped squats (despite the incredible progress I was making) and decided to just hit posterior chain with RDLS (a new exercise I'm falling in love with) and hit quads with leg extensions and bulgarian split squats. Seems my anatomy of long femurs relative to my height is going to keep causing me problems in that lift and put too much shear force on my lumbar spine. So from a bodybuilding context (not powerlifting or athletic conditioning) squats are not a necessary lift for some people.

Bulking is a lot harder then I thought. One gets tired of food and stuffing their face with food...and psychologically seems totally unncessary. Perhaps even physiologically I suspect that you really don't need that much of a caloric surplus to slowly put on muscle over time. Despite 3000+ calories a day, I managed a gain of 2 lbs. Changing course again, being lean is easier. Probably healthier too for someone on the 20% bf line. This did cure my diet fatigue.

Learning / Reading: Finished reading through EDT theory from Susanne Cook-Greuter. I've always found new nuggets or neural connections from occassional rereads of material I've read in the past.

Job: Boring. I should've stayed private so I could get an accidental layoff like AE lol. I'm jealous. Congratulations! once again.

Other: My son picked the cello. He is having a lot of fun! And at a cost of only $25 a month its well worth it. My Spouse is overseas visiting family and returns in November. So that is another motivation of mine to get leaner while shes gone because I don't have to be tempted by her cooking and I can eat in my aesthetic ways. I've always enjoyed our occassional brief times apart. Its cheesy, I know but even after 10+ years of marriage I still get butterflies for her when she returns.

[AxelHeyst]

Bulking is a lot harder then I thought. One gets tired of food and stuffing their face with food...

I always maintain that the eating for a 3mo clean bulk was one of the top 3 hardest things I've ever done. Gugh.

Glad to hear about the new mustache situation, the health, and the still-getting-butterflies status. Right on.

[7Wannabe5]

Even though I currently find myself on the far other end of the metabolic spectrum, I can imagine that attempting to stuff yourself in order to bulk up would be difficult. What do you think your metabolic rate absent obvious exercise/exertion would be? I recently determined that mine is down to an extreme all time low of 7.5 kilocalories/day per lb. body weight vs. previous level averaging around 11 kilocalories/day per lb. body weight. And this also correlates with my feeling of being in "stand by/low power mode" setting much more frequently and for a greater period within each day.

Perhaps if you were to artificially simulate the sort of situations which would tend towards increasing hunger, you might find yourself better able to consumer more kilocalories? For example, if you could get hold of some old school marijuana and devote a portion of your exercise routine to swimming in cold water and leave bowls full of chips and cookies within easy reach at all times.

Also, it has been my observation that while sharing accommodations may shift one's tendencies somewhat towards the vices of housemate, living alone may lead to doubling down on one's own less than ideal tendencies. And it is a very good sign when absence-of-other soon triggers "butterfly" feelings of anticipation as opposed to "albatross lifted from shoulders" or "cage door swung open to fresh green vista" feelings of emancipation.