The Journal of Spartan_Warrior

[IlliniDave]

I have my best luck with a slow-cooker/Crockpot for making big batches of stuff to freeze (stews, soups, beans, pot roast, etc.). There are mountains of such recipes out there via google depending on what kind of food you like to eat. Another thing I do is by large things like turkeys, hams, briskets. etc., around the holidays when they're loss-leaders, then cook it, cut it up, and freeze it. Having my protein cooked and frozen in portion sizes helps a lot. Pairing them with some quickly-steamed/sauteed veggies (fresh in season or frozen) or sweet potatoes or something is pretty simple.

[Chad]

That sounds like a decent start to your goals. Glad to hear you are still writing.

[Tyler9000]

I'm a little late to reply here, so first I want to say thanks for such an open an interesting journal, SW. I totally relate to your thought process.

My weaknesses (lowest 5 strengths) were:

20. Gratitude
21. Forgiveness and mercy
22. Kindness and generosity
23. Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty
24. Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith

I want to also work on strengthening my weaknesses.

FWIW, these are all common weekly topics in my church. I understand that religion is a very personal thing and some people just don't see the appeal, but from what you've listed I honestly believe the act of visiting a few churches even just to sample the messages may help you gain some additional perspective on what you're looking for. And if you happen to find a church that speaks to you, many have a men's group that is an excellent source of brotherhood you also mentioned a desire for. YMMV, but what have you got to lose? (This is presuming you don't already attend a church regularly. However, if you do and it's not helping on these points, try another one!)

Overall, I think your revelation is inspiring. I also struggle with idolizing FI at times, and often have to remind myself that while FI is a powerful tool, it's not the end goal. Life is a journey, and you should always make the most of every step.

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[m741]

@Spartan_Warrior - you could check if there's a Unitarian church near you. I've attended one in the past, while it was nearby. Lots of spiritual/thought-provoking stuff, without preachy/dogmatic BS. YMMV, of course.

[javengreen]

Hi Spartan Warrior --

I don't comment much here, but I wanted to tell you that I had the same evolution form ERE -> Making a happy, sustainable life.

I hit rock bottom in January where I was coming home angry and crying every night. I was making myself miserable not wanting to spend anything or do anything. Holding myself back on spending the smallest amount of money held me back in a lot of ways -- not changing jobs, exercising. Always living in the future. Everything about me was stagnant.

I have spent a lot over the last few months but I am settling back into a more sustainable financial routine AND getting more freedom. I am switching to flexible work and still getting paid the same salary! My savings rate is coming back in line too. If I had been afraid of the risk, the better opportunity would have never happened.

This might be heresy here, but I'd rather having a 10% savings rate and retire late in life if I was actually happy every step of the way of the way vs. being miserable. But things are working out where I am happy AND I save a lot.

MikeBOS has a cool blog where he basically did whatever the hell he wanted (found a way to make it affordable) and still is FI.

Sorry... long and rambling.

I think you are on the right track for your financial life and the rest of your life as well.

[skintstudent]

@SW. A good read - do please keep journaling. I find others' experiences do help to bring into perspective my own.

@javengreen. I've never seen ERE (or YMOL) as advocating sacrificing your present enjoyment for your future self. Many of the journals worry me in this regard. I'm glad you are starting to strike a balance that you are happy with.

Some people seem to have it spot on, whereas others seem to be living a lifestyle that I cannot imagine that they will want to maintain perpetually. Although things will change in your life if/when you reach FI and give up work, it's not the point when you start living. My perception of an ERE lifestyle is one where you build happiness/satisfaction into your life that is not dependent upon a paycheck. Of course, if work is actively making you miserable then this is a difficult balance to achieve. I write as one who is unhappy with their work situation, and looking to make changes soon. Also, I write as one who is starting too late to retire early and is well aware that things may never be better than now.

[RD]

I'll just throw this here since I'm still too lazy to start my own journal ;p

I'm around the same phase of realizing I'm ERE from, instead of ERE towards. Mental state is gonna follow me regardless of my external state (striking the lottery wouldn't improve my mental state beyond relieving me of job obligations)

Recently some forced exercise routine (long story) made me realize exercising matters ALOT for mental health and happiness. (Reminds me of Dog Whisperer where many dogs got better simply by being prescribed with daily walks)

The real thing I want to share is this book called "Search Inside Yourself" by a Googler (Chade-Meng TAN).
I'm only a few chapters in, but the way he describes the mindfulness practices backed by science, and his use of language (due to his engineering background) really made the loudest mental *click* in me ever. All the various materials I've read about buddhism, meditation, neurology, etc have been integrated and connected together in theory and also many practicable exercises (formal and informal ones).
I'm INTP and it really speaks to me, I'm sure for INTJs it would too.

You can check out the preview of the book in his 1 hour google talk here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8fcqrNO7so

[LiquidSapphire]

SW -

I read the updates from the last couple months with great interest. As you may recall we have a lot in common. Similar ages and in fact we were both government employees. Imagine my surprise reading what you were writing with regards to your job [un]satisfaction and feeling as if I could have written (or maybe practically did) write the exact same thing in my own journal.

I feel as if you are on a good path and frankly I am shocked to find the similarities between your path and mine right now. I'm getting into meditation, being grateful, etc myself as well. Semi-Retiring definitely wasn't the end all be all of my life. It definitely got rid of a lot of "lows" in that I didn't have the same stupid BS shit stressing me out all day every day but I didn't get any "highs" out of retiring either. It has to come from within. So you are absolutely right that ERE needs to be running "to" something rather than "from" something. I am still searching for flow and purpose every day. I haven't found it yet. Perhaps you have it in your writing, I don't know, so maybe you're a step ahead of me.

The only thing I may add from my personal experience that I could see happening for you is I stayed at my job for so long that I wonder if I almost have sub-clinical PTSD from it. I mean that facetiously - in that if anyone here has PTSD I don't mean to say that my experience equates, BUT... I will say that any time I ever begin to even seriously consider going back to my old career for the feds I literally get sick of my stomach. It was that bad and I simply C-A-N-T do it. Can Not Do It. I would have to be evicted and eating out of dumpsters before I thought I might be able to put up with it. And if you think it's bad now (The mental dissonance/hate of it all) - unless you make active mindset changes (I see you are working on this) It will get much, much worse, there are so many levels of worse, I cannot even tell you. In that light I would encourage you to either change your mindset or change your job, or both, but the path you are on is not a fun one. In hindsight I should have changed jobs and bought a car and just car commuted for a couple years for the same 70 minutes (it would have been much farther away). I really would have been better off, would have put in another year or two to really pad the savings and call it good, would have been more prepared mentally, and the commute was the only reason I didn't do it.

Hey maybe they'll be so eager to get rid of you they'll throw a mandatory directed reassignment your way based on total BS that you later sue them about and win a decent settlement giving you a 4% WR it's happened before....

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[GandK]

You're doing the right things, Spartan. Focusing on your big dreams and your relationships will raise your quality of life. And I imagine few people say on their deathbed, "I wish I'd spent more time online!"

Good luck on your novel. Let me know if you need a beta reader.

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[llorona]

While I agree that you weren't the greatest dog daddy, it sounds like this particular pooch wasn't the best fit with your lifestyle. What I know about dogs could fill a thimble, but this was clearly an energetic dog who needed to run around and release some steam rather than being stuck in a crate all day.

Ultimately, you did the responsible thing by finding him a good home. It's sounds like the outcome is better for everyone all the way around.

With this said, next time you adopt a pet, please take the time to evaluate your preferences and lifestyle, then match them to a potential pet's temperament. Please look at adopting a pet as adding a permanent member to your household.

I'm a long-time volunteer with an animal rescue group, and I've seen lots of animals frightened out of their wits and absolutely bewildered because their owners and their homes are suddenly gone. In most cases, it works out and the dogs and cats find a good home. But in the meantime, it's really no fun. Pets have feelings, too.

<off my soapbox>

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[Chad]

....go to the shelter and rescue the nicest, calmest dog there.

This is the way to do it. While knowing the breed can give you an idea, you can never be sure what the puppy will grow into. Problem is the animal lovers have put too many hoops to jump through for many of these shelters.

[m741]

Good luck with the new job - hope you get an offer. If not, I'm sure there are other options.

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[5to9]

Sorry to hear that you didn't get the job, and that it has soured you on the interviewing process, but just keep in mind that there are so many variables involved in these hiring choices, it's not strictly a reflection on you. I think it also made me more aware of the trap of fixating on ERE, and believing that one can't be happy until getting there.

I also wanted to thank you for this thread. I have been feeling a lot of the same negative thoughts lately, and your honest declaration that part of this was self-generated and something you can work on really resonated with me and helped snap me out of my funk a bit. I've done a bunch of reading, mostly off of the suggestions in this thread. Some I didn't really like (such as "Search Inside Yourself"), but one book that I really connected was "10% Happier". The author starts as a severe skeptic, and also just has a great, engaging writing style.

http://www.amazon.com/10%25-Happier-Red ... 25+happier

I hope things improve for you, glad to hear the book is going well!

[Ego]

But I'm sick of the whole rigmarole. My managers in my current position have been ignoring me the last few months and I think--barring any further harassment, which may well be pending--the situation has stabilized into tolerable time-serving at the moment. Whereas interviewing repeatedly is demoralizing and distracting from my routine.

I do have a performance review coming up, theoretically. As long as I continue to get mediocre ratings, I'll probably give up on job hunting for now. If they decide to swing a negative review at me (it wouldn't exactly be out of left field at this point, they've found administrivial bullshit to hassle me over multiple times now), or do anything else that might compromise my work situation (e.g. use negative review as excuse to suspend telework privileges), then I'll start the hunt again... or quit outright, depending.

Reminds me of this.

http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2013/09/ho ... d-my-life/

When you have a tiny tiny piece of shit in the soup it doesn’t matter how much more water you pour in and how many more spices you put on top. There’s shit in the soup.

[HCL]

Hey S_W, I've had some ups and downs on my journey to FI too, and I wanted to share some books that have quite literally changed my life. TL;DR summary: Rather than trying to change your external circumstances in order to feel happier, realize that happiness is a choice, and has to come from within. Easier said than done, but here we go:

Buddha's Brain, by Rick Hanson
- If you can change your mind, you can change your life

The Magic of Thinking Big, by David J. Schwartz
- This one is a bit old, but has had a huge positive impact on my life

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy, by William Irvine
- Lots of great insight here

Also, I live about 20 minutes south of downtown Baltimore, so PM me if you're interested in doing another meetup. Good luck!