Early Retirement Extreme Forums

rube wrote: ↑

Fri Apr 05, 2024 4:44 am

I guess the above two paragraphs have in common that life became easy, comfortable, perhaps too? I remember Ego wrote that it's good to not have too much money because things would be too comfortable. Well, I guess he had a point.

Serendipity and dumb luck have conspired to make us "too comfortable" again, so this is a recurring problem. In the past, our autophagic sabbaticals have allowed us to clean out the clutter, remove the dysfunctional bits, and reinvigorate the parts responsible for MacGyvering. I know we waited too long when I begin wondering if things have gotten too comfortable. The hard question of how to handle a stash so large it cancels all concerns, doubts, worries .... is uncharted territory for us.

Very interesting perspectives rube
I may be the resident anti-stoic here, but I would not worry too much if you are having a “lazy” phase.
With work, we are programmed to always be busy with stuff that is brought to us by others, I think it is natural to need some adjustment to become fully “self-motivated”.
As you mentioned, start working on your habits.
For example, a quick extra cycling trip you force yourself to do every other day can spiral (positively) into longer strolls on nice days. Add improved fitness to the developing habit and in no time you may be taking 4 hour trips.
Same with going to the pool.
Just an example.

Seppia wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 08, 2024 8:40 am

With work, we are programmed to always be busy with stuff that is brought to us by others, I think it is natural to need some adjustment to become fully “self-motivated”.

Intrinsic motivation is hard to foster. Part of the reason it is so difficult is because we are bombarded with intrinsic-like things that fill this need to be busy and are easily measured. A book club list to read. A dog to walk. A video game to finish. A duolingo streak to maintain. A property to manage.

The really interesting intrinsic stuff defies measurement and is the result of a curiosity running wild. Trouble is, the things that keep us busy and are easily measurable, persistent in their desire for attention and chain the curiosity.

Agreed 100%.
"lists" are one of my pet peeves. A great "how to" for making not work feel like work...

Ego wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 08, 2024 9:04 am

The really interesting intrinsic stuff defies measurement and is the result of a curiosity running wild. Trouble is, the things that keep us busy and are easily measurable, persistent in their desire for attention and chain the curiosity.

That's very well put. Maybe this is linked to our aversion to boredom, either because we feel unproductive, or because we fail to show success to others.
Anyway, interested in how you go about this in your specific case, rube.

Wow, lot of replies. Thank you all. Some reflections, thoughts:

AxelHeyst wrote: ↑

Sun Apr 07, 2024 10:25 am

It might help to ask ‘what kinds of discomfort can I welcome/design that will induce me to move/act in the ways I most want to?’

That's a very good question, but less easy to answer. During writing of the post one major thing I can think of is that having the Wi-Fi and phone always available is "comfortable", I watch Netflix and read too much (useless) information. Changing this, i.e. shut down the internet on my phone and TV at certain times will kind of be discomfortable as it force me to do something else. that else can be to go to bed sleep earlier which help in feeling more rested or be awake earlier and do something more productive. I actually knew this already, I might have even brought this up prior in my journal. Okay, so that's an excellent point I need to work out and see how to handle going forward.

Western Red Cedar wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 08, 2024 5:35 am

.....Please let us know how it works out after your trip.

To elaborate on my previous rambling: I do expect am pretty sure I'll like traveling alone. But this trip will be to a place I used to travel to frequently alone, but always work related. This time it is not work related, so it might give a different feeling/atmosphere to travel not work related but also not with DW. Hence I hope I won't hang too much to old nostalgic memories/expectations.
Thanks WRC, for the details and I'll try to remember to post about it afterwards.

Ego wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 08, 2024 8:07 am

The hard question of how to handle a stash so large it cancels all concerns, doubts, worries .... is uncharted territory for us.

If someone would have asked me 20 years ago if I still would have any concerns, doubts, worries, with the stash we have currently I would have laughed in their face and said, "of course not". Today I know that only part of the concerns, doubts and worries are taken away by money. If the stash would tenfold I guess some of the current concerns etc. would be taken away. But other doubts and concerns would still happen, these are regardless of money.

Ego wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 08, 2024 9:04 am

Intrinsic motivation is hard to foster. Part of the reason it is so difficult is because we are bombarded with intrinsic-like things that fill this need to be busy and are easily measured. A book club list to read. A dog to walk. A video game to finish. A duolingo streak to maintain. A property to manage.

The really interesting intrinsic stuff defies measurement and is the result of a curiosity running wild. Trouble is, the things that keep us busy and are easily measurable, persistent in their desire for attention and chain the curiosity.

So very true. I feel motivated if I see things improving/increasing once I have done something. I.e. saving every month x-amount showed me month over month the increase of our NW. Or when I have placed a new kitchen, the new kitchen is there. My Duolingo streak is increasing, even if I didn't really learn something on many days because I just did the simplest lesson again to maintain my streak!
Things that are not as easy to measure improvement or maybe just "maintaining" the status quo, i.e. taking care of my body, it doesn't feel as rewarding.

@Seppia: Thanks for being okay with lazy phases. That seriously made me laugh and to not be too hard on myself.
Saturday: social activity + short stroll on the beach; Sunday: social activity + walked 12KM; Monday DYI + cycling 25KM: Tuesday: Extra lessons Duo Lingo + administration/rental + ....I think some walking later today.

But re. lists, argh, you've got me there. So true. I'm quite a control freak and list(s) help me to not forget anything/give the feeling I'm in control.
I would like to reduce my list(s), to get the weigh of all the things "I need to do" from my shoulders. So I moved some of the "to do" list to an "(n)ever to do" list. Regardless, there is always plenty of things on my todo list. Many things I "must" do, i.e. difficult or not wise to ignore: taxes, handling finances/administration, managing properties but also for things I don't "must" do, but want to. For example, a list for: "traveling to: don't forget arrange/book visa/hotel/flight/insurance/meetup, pack XYZ" etc. I remember when traveling I still had a list, but it was more basic because a lot of other things I simply couldn't do.
Is there an optimal way how to handle to do list/things that can't be forgotten without the feeling there is too much on the list?

@Thanks Comandante, we'll see .

Some takeaways:
-Think about reducing phone usage / internet after xx:xx PM and in bed to change behaviour
-Evaluate solo trip during and afterwards
-Think how to reduce the "to do" list or not let it take over my life
-How to find and perform "the really interesting intrinsic stuff"

No, I'm not going to put these things on my to-do list as I don't want more things on it.....

Ego wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 08, 2024 8:07 am

Serendipity and dumb luck have conspired to make us "too comfortable" again, so this is a recurring problem. In the past, our autophagic sabbaticals have allowed us to clean out the clutter, remove the dysfunctional bits, and reinvigorate the parts responsible for MacGyvering. I know we waited too long when I begin wondering if things have gotten too comfortable. The hard question of how to handle a stash so large it cancels all concerns, doubts, worries .... is uncharted territory for us.

I am questioning myself if I have understood you correctly and if you were commenting to the "too comfortable" situation from a mental perspective, a physical perspective or just overall? Because, when I brought this "too comfortable" part up a few posts prior, I was thinking primarily about our house, the car, the bed, all the things immediately around me. Perhaps the stash is/can be part of it too, but for myself I don't see this this is creating an issue in becoming too comfortable. Not yet in any case. At least, I hope.

rube wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 09, 2024 8:54 am

Today I know that only part of the concerns, doubts and worries are taken away by money. If the stash would tenfold I guess some of the current concerns etc. would be taken away. But other doubts and concerns would still happen, these are regardless of money.

Agreed. I was thinking of a stash large enough to cancel the types of doubts, concerns and worries that money can solve. The temptation to buy the easy solution has never been stronger. I was recently jenga-ing stuff into a storage unit. When I wondered what we would do if it didn't fit, my first thought was.... "well, the next larger unit is only $25/month." Then I caught myself. Nooooooo

rube wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 09, 2024 8:54 am

My Duolingo streak is increasing, even if I didn't really learn something on many days because I just did the simplest lesson again to maintain my streak!

I just let my multi-year duo streak end, so it was on the top of my mind as something that felt like it was self-motivated.

rube wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 09, 2024 10:06 am

I am questioning myself if I have understood you correctly and if you were commenting to the "too comfortable" situation from a mental perspective, a physical perspective or just overall?

Both!

Thanks Ego for the clarifications.

I thought would write more often and I just noticed it's already over 5 weeks ago!

No deep thoughts today, just two simple things I fixed:
1) A powestrip: the items is not meant to take apart, planned obsolescence? But I was able to pull out the switch, take it apart, remove the dust which prevented to make good contact and assemble it again. Assembling was actually the hardest part since it involved multiple parts and two springs. It was clear that in the factory they have some special tools to keep everything in place when assembling which I didn't have. But with some patience and using some kind of sticky gum to keep the parts temporarily together, I was able to put it all together. I'll see if it keeps working. If not, I will simply solder 2 short wires to bypass the switch as we can use the powerstrip without it (I did this already before with another powerstrip).

2) Some time ago my subwoofer started to stop working now and then. Whenever I touched the input cable (life-line) it started working again for a couple of days. But over time it got worse and worse till I had to touch the cable every 10 minutes orso to keep it working. I thought it would be a bad connection on the inside of the subwoofer which was probably easy to fix by soldering the part again. So I started to remove the screws on the back. All screws removed but....no movement of the parts, unclear how to disassemble this thing. Then I looked at the cable and the plug again and realized that it's probably not a bad connection on the inside, because if I touch the cable there is probably no movement from the parts on the inside. It's probably a bad connection between the male plug of the cable and the connector on the outside of the subwoofer, even though they look clean and okay. Long story short, so far it seems that a bit of contact spray and 3 minutes of work was all that was needed to fix this issue which was bothering me already for months

Western Red Cedar wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 08, 2024 5:35 am

Please let us know how it works out after your trip.

I am a few days back now from my solo trip. I enjoyed it very much. I went around on my own but I also met up on most days with some old friends and another forummite for bike rides, strolls, hanging out and having some drinks and food. I did got sick, but luckily it was only very short and didn't affected things too much.

A next solo trip might be more a real "solo" trip, i.e. not going to a place or places where I already know people, but just on my own and see how that feels and works out with meeting new people (or not).

Cost wise it was the flight + airbnb + rental bike + food/drinks/grocery + local data/text and did came in at 1500 euro for 9 days. Quite a lot per day but considering it included a transatlantic flight and I was staying in a large north American city I am happy.with that and it was totally worth it to me. A good experience

And thanks to basuragomi for meeting and up and taking me on a nice bike ride!

Sounds like it was a lot of fun, Rube.

I recently read about someone who walked or biked along the border of The Netherlands. I found a description of the route, here: https://www.bestemmingbuitenlucht.nl/ne ... nederland/
To that person, that was meaningful and challenging and fun.

I did walk the Pieterspad from the south to the north of the Netherlands with my cousin when I was in my 20s and early 30s in 2 or 3 day stints. I might still want to the "Kustpad" or Coastal path, and/or the "Marskramerspad" (a marskramer is apparently a peddler in English - words you don't generally use in everyday conversations anymore these days).

One of my brother-in-law loves biking, and recently took a week to bike from the French Alps all the way back home. He loved it.
I'm curious what you could perhaps come up with. Maybe you'll sail somewhere? Or row? Or travel by old-timer?

Hi DG, I believe I'm like your BIL and might do a solo trip by bike. I haven't all the gear/equipmemt yet, so I might start with some short 1-3 day rides with simple accommodation to see if I like it. If so, I'll arrange/buy some gear so I can make longer trips.

But right now I'm with the family once more in Asia for the summer holiday. This time it isn't really slow traveling, but it is still relaxing and we're having combination of a big city (KL), nature (diving, jungle), culture and relaxing. At the end of our holiday DD will stay here till end of the year to do an internship.

DW picked up last year a parttime consultancy gig for 3 months, which got extended several times and per latest details it is extended once more till the end of this year. She likes it, so that's nice.

Maybe we can organize another Dutch (summer) meet-up?

I would be in for a NL meetup, we should all be in Amsterdam by end of August

A meetup does sound like fun. We could meet in Amsterdam this time, perhaps? And then sit in a park if the weather is good, but sit in a restaurant if it rains - that would be slightly more expensive (the group would have to buy some drinks I guess), but hopefully that's okay for everyone?

Sounds like a good plan @DG.

The last weekend of August I have other obligations but would 7 or 8 September would work for you @Seppia, @DG?
We can email the "usual suspects" and post it in the meet-up section to see who's interested to join.

Yup, 7 or 8 September would work for me. Seppia, are you still in the area by then?

Hello @Rube, interesting journal! Congrats on your achievements so far!

I'm based in Eindhoven area and would like to join the NL meetup. Would that be Ok? I previously had a journal entry here (started around 2012) but stopped altogether. Now (re)starting..

Let's continue the organization/discussion for a meet-up here: viewtopic.php?p=292143#p292143
And @Jasmine, sure, should be fine to join.

I planned to post more updates about my RE life, but didn't got around. And now, I might have found a good reason to no longer do that because I've got a major and unexpected, at least for me untill very recently, update: I am going to play the corporate game again. Yes, you read that right, after a long "sabbatical" or "early retirement" or whatever you want to call it it, I am going back to work. This while I told everybody I am not looking for a job, I am not planning to go back to "normal" work again etc..
Some time agao I was approached and during the interviews I noticed I got excited about the job and I am thinking, the worst that can happen is I quit again after 1 week, 2 months or whenever I realize I don't want to do this. I'm only looking roughly 1-2 years ahead anyway at this point. The good thing is, I can 100% WFH but I can also go to an office which is nearby and I have no one reporting to me. I was told my manager will leave me do my thing (no micromanager) which is good, especially because of the huge time difference. The money is not needed but always nice to build up a bit bigger cushion (the pay is very good). The bad thing is, it is full time and I don't know if I can (and want) to get used to that again, we'll see. If not, well, it was nice to be x-weeks/months with you.

rube wrote: ↑

Thu Jul 25, 2024 10:40 pm

Hi DG, I believe I'm like your BIL and might do a solo trip by bike. I haven't all the gear/equipmemt yet, so I might start with some short 1-3 day rides with simple accommodation to see if I like it. If so, I'll arrange/buy some gear so I can make longer trips.

I bought some gear and made a first 2 day trip with 1 night camping. It was really nice and fun. I definitely want to this more often and longer trip. Now with the new job and the weather getting colder it will be probably another 5-6 months before I will make another couple of short trips, but it's something I will do in the future for sure.

Hi Rube, exciting update! Very curious how you're going to feel, going back to work after being off for such a long time. Can I ask why you went to the interviews, even though you mentioned not looking for a job?