Early Retirement Extreme Forums

Perhaps it’s peculiar, but one of the things that puts me off about living in the same place for a long time is that inevitably you form a relationship with neighbours. When I sense that a potentially relationship with a stranger is developing, I feel the urge to move elsewhere. The freedom of being anonymous and not having obligations to others is a blessing.

Henry wrote: ↑

Wed Nov 01, 2023 4:15 pm

I have learned that all I need is a house and a mountain trail.

Same here, although it's more of a hill than mountain.

Although seasonal migration is nice too.

okumurahata wrote: ↑

Thu Nov 02, 2023 10:04 am

Perhaps it’s peculiar, but one of the things that puts me off about living in the same place for a long time is that inevitably you form a relationship with neighbours.

It is not peculiar. It's a valid concern. The entitlements that people believe mere propinquity demands is frightening. Fortunately, I have a full deck of asshole cards to deal out that can take care of the problem.

This has never been a problem for me, but I have a permanent resting bitch face. Closest neighbours get a nod but no more.

Propinquity is a new word for me which required googling.

It usually starts with an Amazon order being delivered to your house when your neighbour is not at home. One day, you wake up in the neighbour’s WhatsApp group, reading comments about how dirty the neighbourhood is compared to when Franco was alive. This always happens to me in Spain, where you are obliged to say hi/goodbye and engage in small talk. In Asia, you don’t even say hello.

One day, I was waiting for the elevator and a neighbour came and asked when I was going back to Asia again. I wondered when and how we arrived at that level of communication.

Since that day, I took the stairs…

chenda wrote: ↑

Thu Nov 02, 2023 6:28 pm

Propinquity is a new word for me which required googling.

There is a "famous" expression "nothing propinks like propinquity." It originates in a James Bond novel but was utilized by George Ball who worked in the White House for both JFK and LBJ. It became known as "the Ball rule of power" which accounts for the fact that the closer you are physically to the President the greater power you have regardless of your position. This is best exemplified by Monica Lewinsky, who mistakenly or not, took the Ball rule of power literally.

jennypenny wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:45 pm

Are most of you Nomads or Homesteaders? Are you partnered with the opposite? How have you worked that out?

@jennypenny: DW and me have agreed as follows:5 to 6 months per year we live in a town house near the North Sea. In winter and sometimes summer we live in an appartement in a village in the Alps for 3 to 4 months. About two months per year we live and travel in a motorboat in Holland and Belgium. For long tracks I travel alone in the boat, and DW arrives at my destination by public transport, that suits her better. The house, the apartment and the boat have all a well stocked kitchen, we cook every day. In every place is sufficient clothing, shoes and bedlinnen, so travel between those places is easy without luggage. And the last six years we rent for 3 to 4 weeks an apartment on a sunny island near Turkey in november. You can call it a flexible homesteader or a nomadic life with fixed places.

Henry wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 03, 2023 9:45 am

It became known as "the Ball rule of power" which accounts for the fact that the closer you are physically to the President the greater power you have regardless of your position.

Makes you wonder how many of the momentous events in history were actually caused by the plant guy or receptionist.

chenda wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 04, 2023 10:49 am

Makes you wonder how many of the momentous events in history were actually caused by the plant guy or receptionist.

Rosemary Woods

Henry wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 04, 2023 11:24 am

Rosemary Woods

Interesting. Chairman Mao had Zhang Yufeng. You wonder if the two ever met.

Well since this topic is delightfully off topic I will further derail it.

@Jacob interesting how you do such a good job of being present in your current moment that you just don’t remember/refer back to earlier times much.

We are leaving my mom’s tomorrow. While I thankful I was around for her birthday and celebrated with other family too. I have no beefs or arguments with her. However . . .

I am 100% over her repetitive conversational topics and her dishwashing routines. To me she has some real cognitive decline going on. Not sure of the strategy for dealing with it. It is more apparent how repetitive she is when you talk to her every single day. It’s not going to get better.

However,I did just watch a same age mother/daughter pair that I have known my entire life go a situation where the eldest child rented the mom an apartment and moved her stuff but she basically refused to go. She ended up passing about six months later. She probably would have been better served by having some household help and someone to drive her to the grocery store and her favorite restaurants kwim?

My mom also has the situation where she is the emergency contact/support system for her younger but less resourced sibling. Sibling is more physically and emotionally frail. She has less financial means and personal capital too. She seems even more vulnerable to a crisis.

Ageing sucks. I was sitting in a cafe this morning and saw a model-esq young women sitting at a table with a women who was clearly her grandmother. Grandmother would have been as beautiful as granddaughter in her younger days and still retained something of a faded glamour about her, but had otherwise not aged too well. 50 years from now granddaughter will have eroded the same. Made me think. About how ageing really sucks. Our bodies are like a suit of clothes, and they eventually wear out. But they are replaced with new ones in the next life and our souls remain untarnished by old age so in the bigger of scheme of things it doesn't matter. Life is but a dream.

Hm, life is a cycle. People are born, get old, and often fight what can’t be changed. For me, I accept that the parental units’ denial of decline prevents proactivity while increasing the chaos at some point. Each day I remind myself to appreciate things as they are and to not absorb other people’s stuff.

After a month in Mexico, I realize a few things: 1) I need to be around social, friendly people who can interact in more than a surface-level way. 2) I prefer a balance of a homebase and exploring (but not vacationing). 3) My spouse prefers staying home and seems to have some personal issues to address. 4) Walkability, blue skies, and access to fresh food make me happy. 5) Geographic location doesn’t matter much.

chenda wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 05, 2023 8:45 am

Ageing sucks. I was sitting in a cafe this morning and saw a model-esq young women sitting at a table with a women who was clearly her grandmother. Grandmother would have been as beautiful as granddaughter in her younger days and still retained something of a faded glamour about her, but had otherwise not aged too well. 50 years from now granddaughter will have eroded the same. Made me think. About how ageing really sucks. Our bodies are like a suit of clothes, and they eventually wear out. But they are replaced with new ones in the next life and our souls remain untarnished by old age so in the bigger of scheme of things it doesn't matter. Life is but a dream.

Every time I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, my face resembles my dad’s more and more. In my early 30s, the transformation process accelerated even further. Now, I see my parents growing older, gradually becoming elderly. They were once modern and cool parents, but now, time has worn away their physical appearance. It’s sad how time wears down everything.

okumurahata wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 05, 2023 12:01 pm

It’s sad how time wears down everything.

It really is.

I was watching my dad struggle to get out of a chair yesterday and I was wondering if that is my fate in 22 years.

ducknald_don wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 05, 2023 2:30 pm

I was watching my dad struggle to get out of a chair yesterday and I was wondering if that is my fate in 22 years.

I'm hoping in the next few decades we'll be able to treat age related conditions much better.

I feel like riding right behind the enormous Boomer demographic protects me a bit from some of the downside of getting old. For instance, there are still a lot of places I can go where I will be on the younger side even though I am 58. Because my current employment is good-for-the-community and flexible hours, I am actually the youngest employee at my site, and the oldest is in her upper 70s. I have also attended a fair number of quite raucous concerts where I have been one of the younger and more sober attendees. Iggy Pop in Detroit was probably the epitome of a venue filled with men pushing social security eligibility age, but behaving like 15 year old kids.

@7w5 - yes living in an ageing population means your relative age reduces.

Maintaining a young attitude means a lot. I’m on the opposite side, a (relative) young body with an old person’s personality. I guess I was born old. Some people in my family say that I remind them of my grandad. Jesus… My brain feels like an 18-year-old kid, though. It’s weird…