Journal

[ertyu]

b2, given your interests in both education and intentional communities + your ability to live vlcol due to ere, it might be the best fit for you to get into teaching groups of homeschooled children or free-range "pursue their own stoke" children (unschooling). It's an idea.

[jacob]

describe your intuition as an image. If anyone feels inspired, I would love to hear different images.

Like a collection of photo-litographic masks each of which map to certain structures that have been verifiably observed in objective reality. Basically, "is this abstraction like that abstraction?" (And are these all validated abstractions!) If two or more masks light up at the same time, lateral metaphors are triggered and creative solutions may obtain. (This structure is like that structure.) In the form of diagrams and maps(*) and using metaphors and idioms to the point of abusing them, never thinking in words or narratives. Consequently, turning insights into conversation or presentation requires the extra effort of dealing with an additional layer of translation. This is why "conversation" (whether partaking or listening) usually has a negative ROI for me. It's like having to think in a foreign non-fluent language. Some twenty five years ago, I began switching from the narrative blablabla construct to a visual matching construct. Thinking is much faster than way. I've had frustrating arguments with algebraic people who needed to prove solutions I could see outright. "Like, why is this not obvious to you?!" Fair enough. Different kinds of thinking, though.

(*) For example, electricity is like plumbing in the sense that water pressure ~ voltage, flow ~ current, and pipe diameter ~ resistance. This gets more powerful the more models are added. For example, there's more to flow resistance than the diameter of the pipe. This all gets added in at the same time. For example, option pricing is like the flow of a river where the flowrate is like interest and the turbulence is like the volatility. The river flows fastest near the middle (at the money); towards the shores, it gets more laminar and slower. And so on ... typically several masks or panes are involved. I can typically tell which ones. It's not just a hunch.

[daylen]

describe your intuition as an image. If anyone feels inspired, I would love to hear different images.

universal cluster fuck

[berrytwo]

Such interesting images!! My brain is integrating

Like a young creature that is half-monkey, half-terrier with a multi-tool machete, flash-light, and label-maker

LOL!

b2, given your interests in both education and intentional communities + your ability to live vlcol due to ere, it might be the best fit for you to get into teaching groups of homeschooled children or free-range "pursue their own stoke" children (unschooling). It's an idea.

Its funny you brought that up, because that is actually something I did during the pandemic. It was a bit of a negative situation for me, but mostly given the context (I was also going to school online full time, this was my first time teaching, and there were a few students had a lot of trauma that I was not sure how to support, I was super lonely due to covid isolation) I think that I was drawn to it for the reasons that you named. There were parts that I really enjoyed including connecting learning to nature, creating my own curriculum. I could imagine doing it again, perhaps especially in 10 years or so when I have my own kid to be a part of it.

[ertyu]

If you're on a homestead, you could hold a summer camp of sorts, too, where small groups of children can learn the basics of growing your own food etc. You might or might not be into it liability wise, but I've seen people with rural property (granted, outside of the US) open their places to either day trip like extracurricular set-ups or for 1-2 weeks at a time as a summer camp. This ofc depends on whether you have a suitable property

[berrytwo]

Ooo interesting ideas! I have thought about also hosting either retreats or wwoofers at some point as well. There are a lot of steps and unknowns between where I am now and these visions, but interesting to percolate on them.

[berrytwo]

Travel Diaries Part One: Synchronicities vs. Serendipity and Mr. Rodgers

I have recently been deep diving into the term "synchronicity" and have been reflecting on how it relates to serendipity. A recent mantra of mine has been "be at the right place at the right time." I just found out that Carl Jung coined the term synchronicity (which in itself is a synchronicity for me!!!) Basically synchronicities are meaningful coincidences especially when they happen to resonate with someone's "inner state, emotions, or unconscious mind." I see serendipity as "happy accidents." Depending on what color of the spiral and/ or your woo-woo level, there are so many ways to look at it. Below is what chat GPT created when I typed in "synchronicities and serendipity in relation to spiral dynamics."

Purple: Might see them as signs from ancestors or spirits.
Red: May view serendipity and synchronicity as expressions of personal power or destiny, interpreting positive outcomes as rewards for their strength or dominance.
Blue: Likely to see such occurrences as divine interventions or manifestations of cosmic justice, aligning with their belief in a predetermined moral order.
Orange: Approach serendipity and synchronicity from a rational and pragmatic perspective, seeing them as coincidences or chance events resulting from natural processes.
Green: Appreciate the emotional and interpersonal aspects, interpreting them as opportunities for personal growth, connection, or empathy with others.
Yellow: Take a holistic approach, seeing them as reflections of deeper patterns operating in the universe, emphasizing complexity, emergence, and adaptability.
Turquoise: Perceive serendipity and synchronicity from a transcendent perspective, viewing them as expressions of higher consciousness or universal intelligence, guiding individuals towards unity and integration.

Anyway..... being on the road has been a fruitful place for both and it has brought me a lot of meaning and joy to explore. There have been a lot of moments with a felt sense that I am at the right place at the exact right time I am supposed to be. One of the most notable is the progression of events that happened after I walked past a little free library the day before I left on my adventure, and found a book about Mr. Rodgers. My mom told me that when I was fourish I came up to her with tears in my eyes and told her that "Mr. Rodgers loves me." Reading the book in the first days of my huge life transition felt like the exact words and messages I needed to hear. There is a reason he has been called "Mother Teresa in a cardigan." Later, I am wandering through my old university campus (on my journey South) with the book in hand, thinking about him and and an old teaching professor who was the embodiment of him. When I see a sign for international teaching conference happening in that exact moment (which was based off of many of the practices of Mr. Rodgers.) I poke my head in and the exact professor is right at the doorway. I show him the book and we start having a beautiful conversation and next thing I know I am sitting in the conference. There have been so many other moments where it seems like things have just fallen into place and the universe winks at with me, telling me that I'm going in right direction.

[grundomatic]

Happy things are synchronous for you!

From the previous assignment:

My intuition is a possibility vending machine. There are various input mechanisms and you can give it as little or as much as you want. The machine prefers to have seen something before, but is also happy to compare whatever you asked about to something else completely. Outputs are either something pithy, spit out on a fortune cookie paper, or some long, winding short story that eventually gets to the point, and is printed out slowly on a dot matrix printer. It runs 24/7, thinking about previous queries, inputs, and what could be.

[berrytwo]

Happy things are synchronous for you!

From the previous assignment:

My intuition is a possibility vending machine. There are various input mechanisms and you can give it as little or as much as you want. The machine prefers to have seen something before, but is also happy to compare whatever you asked about to something else completely. Outputs are either something pithy, spit out on a fortune cookie paper, or some long, winding short story that eventually gets to the point, and is printed out slowly on a dot matrix printer. It runs 24/7, thinking about previous queries, inputs, and what could be.

Thank you! Appreciate the image too. I think that's a pretty good metaphor, I might use that one when talking about Ne to people. I like that there is an element of fastness described that us Ni users usually don't have. Ni needs much more computing time to respond (even if you are extraverted like me.) At B7 and I's goodbye party for out house, the group was talking about chatGPT and how it can make raps and I commented about how our infp friend could do just as good of job. Next second he is spitting bars with the theme of B7 and I's adventure and it goes on for multiple minutes. It is in those moments that I know for sure I am not an Ne user .

[grundomatic]

Sometimes the vending machine needs more time, but more time doesn't guarantee better output.

[berrytwo]

Journal Update:

It is wild to see the intentions and effort we brought to make this adventure possible, come to fruition.

Deeply enjoyed staying at AH before embarking on my solo portion of my trip. We had some great chats with him + his parents, felt many moments of grounding in the desert, and experienced a rush of inspiration.

May 1st we started on our separate ventures, and I made my way North. I have had more concentrated alone time in the last two weeks than I think I may have ever had, which has been beautiful, lonely, cathartic, maddening, and empowering all at the same time. I feel a longing to be more in my first function, it feels a bit exhausting to be in Ni, Ti, Se, and Fi for 90% of my days, but I know that it is good for me too. There are some moments of really interesting Fe during group meetings, including a lot of unique facilitation styles/ frameworks that I have been getting to observe. The owner of the property is an entp and we get along really well.


I have been moving through a bit of shame around a youtube hole I have caught myself in. For a few months I have been just about youtube free. I think being out of my Fe zone and moving through some really big feelings by myself, I just fell back on an addiction that has “served me” in the past. I can name that it’s happening and make plans to change it, but it feels hard to slide backwards a bit.

I have been spending a lot of time in the redwoods and by the beach with my journal and The Journey of Soul Initiation. Also getting to play my uke a lot. During my work time I wheelbarrow bark chips, weed, work on various vermiculture projects, and am working on a massive deepclean project for their workshop. I also have been able to do a few gigs for money including driving someone to the airport, helping someone go through old boxes of stuff, and I may get paid to do someone’s chores while they are away. It has been fun to test out the organizer role, as this has been something I have been interested in doing as a small side-gig for a long time. I get a big rush from organizing and making spaces look usable and aesthetic. It feels nice to be a support person in the process too. The waste part is hard for me though.

Nomading has a wild ride of ups and downs, my intention is just trying to be present for all of it, as it is.

[berrytwo]

Journal Update:

Wrapping up the last few days at our work away. Deeply enjoyed it. I feel, in several ways, that I have gotten to scratch an itch. For years, I kept hearing about wwofing and felt super drawn to it. Last year I dipped my toe, but it did not fully scratch the desire (it was only really for a week). This trip was different. I got to witness a lot of facilitation stuff, which was one of my main goals. The main person running the show is an eNtp, but I mistyped her as an enfj because of developed Fe. She is coo-coo bananas in the best way possible, and learned a lot from her (and several other people who facilitated). We were able to stay in a super beautiful cobb mini structure. Went on lots of fun adventures on our time off. I feel like I was treated really fairly (which I have heard is for sure not the case for a lot off woofing/ work away situations.)

There are a lot of unknowns for next few chapters. I do know I am going to be teaching at a retreat center in a little while, which has been a dream of mine. And then head north?

[dustBowl]

There are a lot of unknowns for next few chapters. I do know I am going to be teaching at a retreat center in a little while, which has been a dream of mine. And then head north?

What kind of retreat center?

[berrytwo]

Thanks for asking about it! It is all about relational mindfulness, which as one could probably guess, is my crack. I will be co-facilitating workshops + small group connection. I have worked for them before doing advertising-esque contract work. This time I get to be in person and doing the type of work I especially enjoy. It is only for a week, but should be a great experience.

[ertyu]

Sounds fascinating, I'd love to hear more both about relational mindfulness and about what sorts of exercises etc are involved in teaching it. Have fun!

[calamityjane]

Wow, that sounds perfect for you! Can't wait to hear more about it. Sounds like you are following the bread crumbs in the right direction.

[berrytwo]

Thanks!!

It does feel like following the breadcrumbs... I like that analogy a lot actually. The relational mindfulness retreat was exactly as I had hoped and more. I felt the most in flow I have ever felt working. Relational mindfulness is about connecting to "embody compassionate awareness in all of our relationships —with self, one another, our planet." There was a lot of guided/ loosely guided meditations (5 hours a day) as well as small group connection pieces. One practice that is quite common is called a hot seat, where one person is in the center and other people ask questions of that person (it could be literally anything, but the person always has a right to pass.) I was one of the facilitators of that practice and it was really powerful. I loved that I got to be a participant as well as a leader in the experience. I was one of the only newbies and it felt so cool to learn from people with more experience than me. Many of the practices are rooted in zen buddhism like dharma talks, lovingkindness practices, sitting/ walking meditation. It was amazing.. and it was also hard. That much silence and stillness feels like your heart and brain are being scrubbed, leaving one quite raw and sensitive. With so many life changes and lostness inside me, I ended up bawling through several meditations. I am really glad that I was a part of it, and hope to do it again!

After, I came "home" to AH and B7 and it felt really nice to get to share with them all that I had experienced and to hear about their adventures!

From there we have been heading North. We have been experimenting with boon-docking and can't recommend it enough. The app we have been using to find good camping spots is called Overlander. It seems like mostly a West Coast thing, with so much public land access, but I suppose it could be used other places as well. So far, we have had several nights in peaceful creekside spots with no one around. At the last spot, we even found some solar powered fairy lights that someone had dumped on the ground.

It has been really great to be reunited with family, friends, and the library looking forward to finding more crumbs along the way.

[berrytwo]

Journal updates:


Work:

Really looking forward to adding yoga teaching to my WOG. I started yoga teacher training this month. I kind of kick myself for not doing it sooner. Thanks erytu for suggesting it awhile ago. I came to realize how many cool yields and flows it could create (small additional income flow, interesting people, physical exercise, spiritual capital, …) A temporary roommate shared that they have substituted for a yoga teacher at a rock gym and they were able to get free access to the gym and yoga classes for working once or twice a month. I have been wanting to figure out how to add swimming at rec centers in the colder months, for a reasonable amount, into my system. I am hoping that I can do something like this roommate had done. I tend to do well with more structure, and the process of working through this training has been helpful in itself.

I also got an outdoor education job for the fall. It will just be a short amount of time, but I really resonate with the program (super cool people, awesome structure/ curriculum, pay is more than fair).

Health:

I restarted the Cal Newport 2.0 stack.

My three keystones habits:

Mind: Reading 10 minutes or more
Body: Half or more of one meal a day be vegetables
Heart: Doing a loving-kindness practice before bed

I have been really consistent with these habits and developing a little more trust in myself to follow through with what I have said that I am going to do.

I have just about finished the second where I am sprucing up my GTD/ obsidian system a bit. AH and I were geeking out last time I was at Quail Haven about combining GTD and vision boarding into a dashboard on obsidian. I took inspiration from him and have been creating one with my own flair.


Longer term visioning:

Tiny house??? I have been seriously considering building a tiny home on wheels in the next year or so. The process of learning skills to build would be homeotelic ideally. I worry it is too much out of my skill range, but perhaps it would be good to be frustrated and to work through. I worry about having the stamina to finish it. My Ti gets tired embarrassingly quick.

Another concern I have is where I would build it. It is potentially possible I could park it in my Dad’s backyard while I build it, but I would have to commute a ways to get to it. Also I would feel bad if it took more than a few months to build.


I have been looking online and seems like there are some free designs that I could pick from. I like the idea of parking it in a shared living house’s backyard in Portland, getting to share some sense of community, while at the same time having my own space to be. If I were to create one I would try to use as many materials as I could from recycled material centers in Portland.

So far I feel clear that if I were to make one I would want there to be significant light and be around 100- 175 square feet.

Super open to feedback/ suggestions people have about tiny house building!


Lasik:

I am also thinking when/ if I want to get lasik. I have horrible vision, so bad that I get a headache when I have my glasses off for more than a 2-3 minutes. They also fall off every other minute when working out/ yoga. I have gotten contacts before, but the are quite expensive and hurt my eyes by 5 pm. I have tried tightening my glasses. I have also been thinking about it from a resiliency stand point. If my glasses broke or if I had no access to get more glasses because of whatever reason I would be in a really precarious place. It is such a huge investment. I am not sure if I am being too doomsdayerish/ not creative enough or if would be a super amazing choice that I would be grateful for forever.

[OutOfTheBlue]

I also have high prescription (around -10 myopia on both eyes and some astigmatism) and have been using Bauch and Lomb Ultra soft contacts in combination to glasses. Need to be active? Contacts all the way. They've been a game changer for me since my twenties.

I get that some don't tolerate contacts well, but it could also be they try basic ones. This model is very comfortable compared to others I've tried (they are rated for 10h of comfort wearing, and they have delivered even after keeping them overnight, something I absolutely avoid, but I was outside with no cleansing solution on hand). But you may need to also use quality lubrication tears in the form of a three month 10-15 ml vial. What is quality? One that has yaluronic acid. For example, I was using Hye, now Systane Ultra at half the price.

Now, such good contacts are quite expensive indeed. Two tricks here:
1. Wear them for longer than the advertised one month. When I change a pair, I note the date and swap them for a new one when I feel the experience/comfort degrades noticeably. This is generally between 2-3 months (mostly 3). So in essence for these quality contacts I keep them 3 months max or depending on comfort. The three month tears vial is also less expensive than the dailies.
2. Buy them (originals) for a lot cheaper. This is what I'm doing in Thailand. There are some good deals in Lazada. It seems ERE folks seem to be coming to the country all the time. You could arrange a buy and they could send these when back to the States or something.

But test them first before a bulk buy. And I suggest doing that before thinking lasik. My earlier doctor dissuaded me from doing surgery on such high levels of myopia. At least research on the downsides as well. It's not necessarily all sunshine and rainbows.

[Ego]

They also fall off every other minute when working out/ yoga.

I had a similar problem that was solved when I found this pair of old safety goggles and had them changed to my prescription.



viewtopic.php?p=241173#p241173

The ear loops keep them from constantly sliding down my nose and falling off.