Early Retirement Extreme Forums

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It sounds like both winding done to semi-ERE has had some speed bumps but is progressing well. Doing nothing, which is actually doing something, has a way of helping up notice things we were to busy to observe before.

Initially, I found more time with DS when he ERed (and I was on an attempt prior to this one) to be challenging. This time around our relationship has improved. It seems that we have more overlapping views of the benefits of moving on to other things. Spending more time with your GF should open up more space as well.

Ballooning in Albuquerque is awesome! Will you splurge and take a ride? (I do recommend it.)

Very cool on scavenging the public garden. I recommend picking up a couple books on edibles you can forage in your region. It's surprising how much you can find even in an urban area once you know what to look for.

Unfortunately, it has been my experience that after the "relaxing together" phase of mutually retired or semi-retired relationship, you will have to work your way through the "what next?" phase together, and that can be tough. For instance, when my "ex" who was already quite affluent wanted me to help him re-hab yet another rental property, and my desire to ride around in truck as sidekick dressed in his old droopy overalls on yet another trip to Home Depot had passed peak.

Man, that garden score is awesome. Maybe if you're around next year, you can get involved in some other way. Heck, even taking the veggies shows that some tax payer is taking advantage of it.

On 7Wb5's comment, I too worry about this. My most recent (and most past experience) is that our relationship does seem to strengthen during a trip together or some other experience together when we are away from work. What I've found, is that it's more related to suffering together, or working together toward a common goal, rather than the time together. So for example, we decided to bite off more than we could chew on a hike in July, and the misery of the last 3 hours of decent were a bonding experience, sailing in rough waters (literally) and the associated fear and relief after, also seemed to bring us together as we lived through something potentially dangerous together. Because we've done staycations where we kind of bum around the house together for several days and despite not having "work stress" it doesn't necessarily feel like it's any better. When you spend too much time with someone, what is there to talk about? For this reason I think that some unstructured and structured time apart during semi-ERE or FIRE in general is important. Having some relationships outside of your romantic relationship is equally important. I got to the point where I wouldn't want to hang out with other couples for a while because I missed having a conversation with someone else in person that my SO was not part of.

What a brain dump, sorry for the ramblings, all over the place!

classical_Liberal wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 21, 2019 1:34 am

Like, she is my favorite person in the world.

That's beautiful!

classical_Liberal wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 21, 2019 1:34 am

However, it’s not nearly as good when we are both slaving away FT. We get nitpicky and frustrated with each other.

Also truth about DW and I if you just add kids in the mixer..

classical_Liberal wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 21, 2019 1:34 am

I have been motivating myself to show up with the idea that each couple of weeks provides another month or so of living expenses. This has not been very effective because of another, sort-of weird and unexpected phenomenon. Money just isn’t worrying me, nor is it on the top of mind like it used to be. Since the last financial update, my goal was to save another 10k for semi-ERE transition during the final couple of months. It would be enough to cover my expenses for six months off. That used to seem like a shit-ton of money. Even more so back when I spent 40k a year, so it really should have even more value to me now at sub 20k. Yet I just don’t care. If I could pay 10K to complete this transition and have the next 3 weeks off, I’d seriously consider it. That’s not to say I’d go out and blow 10K on something worthless, I still hate spending money, I’m just presently ambivalent to accumulating more. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

I've had this problem when I crossed into six-figure NW around a year ago. Now I'm like "fuck, why am I listening to anyone ever? I'm rich I tell you, RICH!"

It doesn't seem like stacking more money is going to get me anywhere closer to where I want to be. Then again I'm REALLY far from being FI and I still haven't learned how to invest so...



It sounds like you're really burnt out. I'm interested to see how you feel after six months off.

Frita wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 21, 2019 7:10 am

Initially, I found more time with DS when he ERed (and I was on an attempt prior to this one) to be challenging. This time around our relationship has improved. It seems that we have more overlapping views of the benefits of moving on to other things. Spending more time with your GF should open up more space as well.

Ugh, so challenging. It's like when did we cross the exact point where we stopped fucking all day and started to care where the other person puts plates?

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Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel was challenging for me as time seemed to expand. May these next couple weeks go quickly for you.

I am interested to see how the healthshare goes. What are your plans for dental and/or optical?

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GOOO LUUUUUUCK!!!!

I am seriously so excited for you!! What a great position you have gotten yourself into, lots of thought, time and effort to get you here. Wheaton 6/7 up ahead?!

It feels like you and 2B1S are launching so soon together, and I can not wait to hear what it's like on the other side of full-time work. Seems like burnout takes some time to recover from, but good times are ahead for you. Congratulations!

Really great news! Be patient with yourself over the burnout, it will take some time for it to evaporate for sure. Good luck, and keep us updated!

classical_Liberal wrote: ↑

Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:59 pm

These things seemed like a pain in the ass to deal with when working, frankly it was just easier to leave static and worth the extra cash burn. Now, knowing there will not be a paycheck, I've done a 180. I estimate, in total, all of this misc waste reduction will cut monthly cash burn rate by about $100.

Ha! Welcome to the dark side. You'll be enjoying the convenience and savings of lentil soup and DIY detergent soon enough. We got cookies too. Homemade of course.

Congrats! Welcome to the dark side indeed.

Congrats! Hoping to follow suite in an official* capacity soon

*unofficially working ~25 hrs/week from home

Congrats classical_liberal! Thank you for all your comments, ideas and insights here in this forum! You enrich it pretty much. I am looking forward to read about lessons learned as well. Hopefully you will experience your new found freedom as you have planned and estimated. I like your freedom in mobility and your courage to dive into semi-ere.

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Congrats! I'm looking forward reading about your transition exiting times ahead for you!

2Birds1Stone wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:42 am

When you spend too much time with someone, what is there to talk about?

DH and me have been rocking the part-time lifestyle for about 8 years now and it works beautifully. We have 2 shared interests, but go very different ways in other regards.

When you are working FT, time is an extremely valuable commodity. It is easy to get jealous if it seems like your SO has more of it or does more exiting things in his/her free time. Resentment crops up very easily if one is overworked. This is totally different on part time. We happily send each other off on our adventures, while the other one is holding the home front (since we have a kid and animals). Plenty to talk about afterwards!

classical_Liberal wrote: ↑

Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:59 pm

Update 9/7/2019 I've also began to contemplate life after FT work in a more real way. Meaning not some fantasy of it being great, rather what my day-to-day will entail and how this stuff could impact future ability to take part in activities I may enjoy (ie future employability, etc).

I obviously have zero experience with what you're going through, but this sounds like a very important and necessary step when looking from teh outside.

In bocca al lupo!*

*literally translates in "may you end up in the mouth of the wolf", but it's the italian way to say "good luck"