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AUGUST 2014
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SPENDING - $1,350
- Home - $650
- Transportation - $290
- Food - $200
- Entertainment $130
- Family - $80
Transportation includes $205 for the bike I bought and posted about before. The $80 family cost is for a Cardinals baseball game ticket and dinner out with my dad and brother when they visited. Entertainment/hobby cost was almost minimal, except I bought $70 of tea.
As noted before, I’ve been feeling unmotivated with work, and have been thinking a lot about post retirement plans – right now, about van touring. I’ve also had some periods of feeling pretty lazy. But hey, life’s pretty easy right now – no big deal. Much of the anxiety has passed and now I’m trying to channel those thoughts into positive action.
September will have some spending on car maintenance. I’m expecting to replace some wear parts (tires and maybe brake pads), plus a windshield and maybe a MAF so I can pass inspection. My windshield mine has a crack and the government here wants to decide for me that this crack is going to cause a disaster - ANY DAY NOW!! I’ve been driving the last 9 years with this crack – just teetering on the edge of certain death due to windshield crack! Thank god I’m still alive. Thank all of the gods.
CHARTS
I reached a milestone this month: 3.5% of my net worth broke $1,000 per month! Woo HOO!!!
As you can see, that that wouldn’t cover my current spending, but my net worth is very close to my bare-bones FI target. That opens up options of quitting and making changes to reduce my spending.
I’ll be buying $10k of dividend stocks soon, so next month I should be able to post my dividend income chart with an increase. Also, I've had around $40k sitting in my 401k in cash for almost a year. I finally bought some funds with it. Half in a Bond fund and Half in a "Real Asset" fund.
FAMILY VISIT, SPENDING STRESS, ERE CONVERSATION
FAMILY VISIT – “YOU NEED TO BUY ….. “
My brother and my dad came out to visit for a long weekend.
The first day, after showing them around the house, they were saying “you need to buy this, you need to buy that” and I was saying “no,… no I don’t want that.. no, I don’t need that because…”
They wanted to get me a housewarming gift (They like buying things so much that they want to buy my stuff for me). They kept asking, “Come on! What do you need to buy?” We ended up going to Home Depot to get some garden stuff. While at the store, I wasn’t 100% sure that they were going to be buying this stuff. I wouldn’t have gone and bought any of this, and in the back of my head I was asking myself “are they going to pay for this stuff? I definitely wouldn’t be buying this right now myself. What if we get up there and they don’t pay?”
I’ve noticed a trend. I hate it when someone forces/pushes me to spend money that I don’t want to. I really, really hate it. When I moved here and went to register my car, I was told I needed to go to a safety and emissions inspection. They told me I need to replace my windshield because it has a crack in it (it's fine and it doesn't obstruct my view while driving). That really pissed me off. I don’t want this kind of bureaucracy forcing me to buy a windshield and throw away one that works fine. I’m capable of deciding this. Fuck off!!
This happens other times as well:
- A number of my family have told me, separately, that I should buy a new car now. Why, you ask? “you’ve had that car for a while now”. My dad brought up the maintenance work I had mentioned needing to do on my car soon – but it’s just wear parts like brake pads, tires, etc.
- My brother and dad over the weekend – You need to buy more drinking glasses (I have like 15, or up to 50 if you count jars), a wall clock, a bed for the spare bedroom, a new car, a shed, an ice-maker, etc.
- When a (now ex) girlfriend decided I needed to buy something for my house and then started reminding me about it, expecting that I would buy it just because she decided I should.
The problem here – When other people say these things, I end up interpreting their statements much differently than they intend.
WHAT THEY MEAN:
They are making suggestions about
how to spend money that they assume was already going to be spent. There’s an included assumption at the end of their statements. Not just “you need to buy this” but “you should buy this instead of some other thing that you would’ve bought on the way to spending all of your income”. Often people use the word “need” when they don’t really mean need. They mean something more like “I think you should”, or, “you might like”, but “you need” is engrained into common language now. I suppose people must think there are countless things they “need” to buy but aren’t or haven’t yet. “I need…” is often used when they mean “I wish...”
WHAT I HEAR:
- That I should increase my spending. That I’ll have to work longer and amass more capital to fund this increase spending for the rest of my life
- That I’ll now have to be responsible for taking care of this new item. Cleaning it. Storing it. All that business.
- That they know what I want better than
I know what I want
- That there’s something wrong with how I’m deciding to spend my money
I’m taking a normal consumer-focused statement and turning it into a source of conflict and anxiety. A lot of times I feel the need to correct them, to explain that I don’t even want it, let alone
NEED. In most cases, they’re only making suggestions. If I make a suggestion to someone, I don’t really expect them to either do what I say or have a discussion with me about why their current method is better. I just expect them to consider it. Sometimes I suggest things not even expecting they’ll do them – but just to plant an idea that may come back to much later, or that may carry over into their thinking on some other subject. I just expect them to think “Ok, I understand your suggestion”.
I’m going to work on thinking and responding that way.
FAMILY VISIT – ERE CONVERSATION
I used to talk regularly with my brother about ERE a few years ago. I was sending him monthly journal type updates when I was first working on lowering my spending, before I started my journal. He knows about my plans pretty well. I’d never spoke about it with my dad. But I expected it may have come up between my brother and him.
We were at the baseball game and my brother brought it up. They both started out asking questions like:
“What in the heck would you do? You’ll get bored. Why would you want to do that? Nobody does that!” I started out just trying to explain that I would be a
normal human being. My dad says “That’s not normal at all to quit work so early!
Normal is to work like everyone else”.
I tried to explain that I’d have time to take care of myself, learn, be fit and healthy, pursue hobbies, help other people when I feel like it, and have flexibility to do new things. I’m not good at explaining that on the spot so they didn’t get it. I have a list of things I may want to do post RE, but when people ask me, I’m not good at recalling and listing them.
So I switched to a different direction.
But first, a little back-story. One day back in 2,005, I was at work, in the mail/copy room of our factory. A guy from Finance was also in there. He was in his 50’s. He’s a smart and intuitive guy. He generally “gets” things. He asked me, out of the blue “Hey, C40, Is
this what you really want to do with your life, working away to make WIDGETS?” (our product)… At the time I just said “I don’t know… for now, yeah. I like it”. His question faded from my thoughts quickly. For the next 5 years I was a good little consumer. I went out to bars and restaurants. I bought nice bicycles, electronics, vacations. 5 Years later I came back to that question, and my answer was a definitive
no
So – back to the baseball game conversation. I told my dad something along the lines of:
“well, as for what I’ll do, I don’t know exactly. I have a whole list of things I might do. But I know what I don’t want to do – I don’t want to spend all my time and my energy in my life working for someone else just to make WIDGETS…. You know what? I don’t give a shit about widgets. I definitely don’t want to spend all my best hours and efforts on
this! …. Aren’t there better things to do?”
The wheels turned quickly in their heads. All the sudden, they seemed to get it. My brother has been working many 14 hour days. My dad worked from home for himself for about 20 years. He worked a LOT. He worked pretty much every evening. He worked every weekend – at least half days. If I was looking for him, I’d go straight to his office in the basement. He works for a company now and complains about inept co-workers and office politics. I think they both took a quick look at all the time and energy they spend working.
My brother talked about wanting to stop spending so much money, particularly to stop going spending binges and buying things he doesn’t even want that bad. He recalled being on a cruise ship once with other family, buying something stupid, and our uncle asking him “hey man, how many hours did you have to work to buy that?”
My dad was reflective and a little regretful about how he had made his work his entire identity, and didn’t have much of any pursuits/interests outside of work. He said many evenings, when he was otherwise done working, he’d wonder what he should do and think “well, I don’t really have much of anything going on, I suppose I could go get some more work done.”
I don’t know if I see them changing anything themselves– and I’m not trying to get them to - but I think they understand my point of view better now.
We spoke some more about what I might do after quitting, and they were now interested in and imaginative about it. They suggested and then got really excited about the thought of me buying or building a small cabin up in the mountains near where they live – where they could come up to stay and go camping/fishing/skiing from. My dad told me about an idea he’d had for a while but never acted on - to sell his house and buy a camper to live in, travel slowly, and do his work from there. Kind of funny – Pops and I got basically the same idea. He dismissed it as too much of a hippie idea.