grundomatic's journal

[guitarplayer]

Yeh another take is to just marvel at the construction. I had been watching an interview with Frans de Waal the other day where he argued that life in captivity can be a perfectly fine life with all necessary and sufficient conditions for a good life. Also the good old debate on determinism.

[grundomatic]

Conversation moved from here.

Interesting. Very much like IllinDave (INFJ)s path. You were likely very much in your masculine energy in the moment, because ending things with a spendy ex requires cold "killer" functioning. Actually, according to Deida, anybody has to be in their masculine killer energy to end a significant relationship, because the feminine is like a clam or a blossom that just opens and closes in the presence/lack of love, but never ends things.

I’m not 100% up to speed on your gender/maturity quadrant model, but I didn’t end it. Sparing the details, I played the supportive spouse right up to the end, despite being able to read the writing on the walls. I made her say she wanted to end it, then made her do the work involved. I’m sure it says something about me that the two things I wanted to do once released were get a girlfriend and save my money.

For example, in basic example Budget format, this might look like the rule of thumb of 2 days work for money, 2 days community service, 2 days work for art/actualization, 1 day sleep on the beach.

This reminds me of Barabara Sher’s work–the school day model, the doctor’s week, the double agent, etc. I need to revisit Refuse to Choose and implement some of the things now that I’m actually (mostly) free. Of course now that I want to reference it, I can’t find either copy I own. I’m sure they are loaned out. Anyhow, in my career I’ve played the serial specialist, and in my hobbies I've been more of a sybil. Without the structure of work, I might need to impose a little more structure on myself. I could just keep doing the serial specialist thing…I know it works for me. Of course, maybe that’s exactly why I should try something else. How’s that for scanner thinking?

Oh, it seems to me like you have a lot more than "fun uncle" going on (not that there's anything wrong with "fun uncle." I often fulfill the "fun Mom" role myself. ) For one thing, you are creating a great model of an alternate path to ERE.

Are you sure? From my viewpoint the journey seems like standard FIRE, just done on a median income instead of a very high income, and I guess quitting before hitting my number. Moved to a smaller place, biked to work, cooked at home…nothing special here, really.

As far as post-employment goes, so far I’m playing video games and going on pet-sitting vacations. I think any contribution to the ERE sphere is yet to come.

[grundomatic]

Yeh another take is to just marvel at the construction. I had been watching an interview with Frans de Waal the other day where he argued that life in captivity can be a perfectly fine life with all necessary and sufficient conditions for a good life. Also the good old debate on determinism.

My cats seem happy, after all.

DW has finished her time at the school. Lot's of unwinding and recovering to be done from that. She's agreed to come to EREfest, which was surprising but exciting. We have lots of vacations planned.

I really have nothing new to report on my internal journey. I feel like part of my problem is being too individualistic to just go along with what everyone else is doing, too communitarian to just give up on others completely and do my own thing. I see egocentrism, careerism, and consumerism all around me, but haven't found suitable replacements for myself yet. I'm playing a business game online to scratch those old itches without getting sucked back in.

I've always worked someone else's system--never had a creative-type job. Self-direction and making one's own meaning is HARD.

[berrytwo]

DW has finished her time at the school. Lot's of unwinding and recovering to be done from that. She's agreed to come to EREfest, which was surprising but exciting. We have lots of vacations planned.
...
Self-direction and making one's own meaning is HARD.

True! I feel you on this. I hope that you and DW have some really fun adventures once she recovers.

[grundomatic]

For as long as I can remember, I’ve disliked doing chores. Recently, someone expressed surprise that I still despised household chores so much, despite not having to go to work. It occurred to me that it is a little bit absurd to resent so much the things that simply need to be done.

My new approach is to ask myself whether I’d like to change the circumstances that require this chore. Don’t feel like working in the yard? Well, would I like to move into a condo? Hire someone to do it? If not, then I use the chore as an opportunity to practice being fully present in the moment. Controlling my inner state by accepting this chore and everything it entails. “There is nothing else right now. Nothing else that needs to be done, nothing else I’d rather be doing.” It’s certainly better than being resentful.

[Bicycle7]

I appreciate that perspective. I sometimes become annoyed from the friction generated in my lifestyle. Sometimes, the friction is an indication for a need to change and sometimes the friction is simply a little overhead of living an otherwise good life. For instance, partly living out of a sub-compact hatchback w/b2 while traveling for several months can make me day dream about a van or just traveling by bike. But, then I realize all of the reasons why it mostly just makes sense to travel in the hatchback right now and it's ok if packing the car is a tetris game with all of our junk (gear).

[Jin+Guice]

There are two ways that I approach this.

The first is blind rage that I have to do any chores at all. It may be a necessary part of modern life, but like most jobs, most chores are 90% bullshit. Keeping the space you use tidy, feeding yourself, maintaining your corporeal form, these are universal chores. As usual we've stacked our environment against ourselves, making it difficult to maintain our bodies properly, having too much stuff, too many things to care for and tidy and too much food that is still elusively difficult to make and clean up after.

I think you're considering this when you think "do I want to mow this lawn?" but are you considering how massively annoying moving to a condo would be? You're a sort of stuck with the lawn if you don't want to upend your life, which is an option, but also a kind of shitty one.

The other option is acceptance. I don't think you can truly accept something until you get your blind rage and other emotions out. The path of least resistance may be keeping the lawn and mowing it and the best thing to do might be to accept that you will have to do it and adopt as zen an attitude as possible about it, but I don't think you get there without experiencing the frustration of being conned into becoming a lawnowner first.

[grundomatic]

@J&G

Those sound like the two modes I have--my old mode (rage) and the new mode (acceptance) I'm trying to cultivate. I feel like I've sufficiently gotten my rage/resentment out. It's been my whole life. For me it's more a matter of making a decision and living with it.

Here's the old plan:
1. Avoid chores because I hate them
2. Finally do chores while actively resenting them

New plan:
1. Avoid chores
2. Notice this, and go to analytical mode. Do I want to change this situation? What would it entail? Are the tradeoffs worth it? Make decision.
3. Do either the original chore (yardwork) or the new chore (move) without being a whiney baby about it (my acceptance practice).

[ertyu]

1. Avoid chores because I hate them
2. Finally do chores while actively resenting them

this gave me a good laugh because, which of us hasn't been there

[grundomatic]

WOW, I have neglected this since June? In order to avoid a super long post, I will break things up. I suppose I'll start with the concrete details of the time following the last post.

Summertime was travel time. All the travel. It then kept going. Destinations, up to current location:

Flagstaff, AZ - 1 week
Chattanooga, TN - 2 weeks
Valley Center, CA - 5 days
Seattle, WA - 2 weeks (sorry I didn't reach out, @mathiverse)
Phoenix, AZ - 3 days
EREfest - 4 days
Valley Center, CA - 5 days
Cottonwood/Prescott, AZ - 1 week
Santa Fe, NM - 1 week
San Marcos, CA - 2 weeks

Everything except EREfest and a couple days camping in Cottonwood was done pet sitting through Trusted Housesitters. We absolutely love using that service. No hotel/airbnb costs and we get to stay with adorable animals! I love the former, DW the latter.

Speaking of camping, after a great time at EREfest, we wanted to give “regular” camping a whirl. Staying at a car-camping campsite was not for us. Unseasonably warm October weather made afternoon naps in the tent a no-go, which we really needed from being kept up at night by crying babies on either side of us. Could be solved by using earplugs, but in general camping seemed like a large hassle compared to just rolling up to a fully equipped house.

As far as hassles go, this summer was the first time we traveled on a non-Southwest airline in a long time. All I can say is yuck. I’m so glad we keep most of our traveling within an easy day's drive. Also, I had already been “over” traveling, but this stint cemented it for me. It makes it hard to get into a routine when only home for a few weeks before heading back out. It was nice to spend lots of time with DW, and we’ve finally done enough traveling that she can understand where I’m coming from with being unexcited about travel.

In July I finally got to do some shows at the improv theater as a company member (not a student), and that was super fun. Then in October there was a 10 day festival, leaving lots of spots for whoever was available to be in shows. Guess who has plenty of time and energy for improv? My mom got to see one of those shows while she was visiting, so that was great. She still references one of my scenes.

Sometime in between I joined an incubator team in addition to the ensemble team I was on. Both have been super beneficial to my improv. It’s nice to practice the basics in the beginner team, as the curriculum can move fast and foundational things get forgotten, but it’s also nice to play with more experienced players on the ensemble team who can “teach by example”.

I was invited to be a founding member of another team by a friend, one that has “gym bro” window dressing. When a different friend expressed wanting to be healthier, I asked them to be my “gym bro”, and we’ve been lifting weights together for some months now. Never figured improv would be what got me back into a workout routine.

I’ve been crushing my online business game (top 4% in company value ranking), and up until recently still jamming FIFA 16 on a regular basis. I have a new undertaking that has replaced daytime gaming, and I’ll discuss that more…later.

[grundomatic]

Before I get into my newest undertaking, a numbers/optimization post.

With both DW and I no longer working FT jobs that provide healthcare coverage, the ACA subsidies become important to our budget. The goal is to have just enough income this year to not be put on Medicaid, but try to keep income low enough that we don’t have to pay much for ACA coverage. I think I owe a hat-tip to @Scott2’s writing on the ACA in helping me get started in nailing this stuff down.

The 2024 federal poverty line numbers are $20,440 for a household of 2. This means we need to make more than $28,207 to not qualify for medicaid, and at $30,660 we will owe nothing for a benchmark plan. It’s going to be better to err on the side of making too much, so the following numbers represent a minimum.

Target income: $30,660
Average yearly rental income: $10,000
Estimated interest from money market account: $2950
Subtracting leaves a deficit of: $17,710
Divide by 52 weeks leaves us needing to make $341 per week or $170 each per week.

Since I’m not quite to the point where all my preferred activities incidentally make money, I’ll be looking to for a gig that I can turn on and off like a spigot to manage my income, since my reselling hobby I just revitalized and upgraded (ruined the surprise) has quite variable income.

DW has applied for her substitute teacher certificate and is looking forward to doing that to get back in the classroom. I should probably do the same because of the ease at which I could pick up work and control the amount of hours worked (always in demand, with no obligation). It probably isn’t what I would pick to do, though.

This year will serve as an experiment with semi-retirement. Maybe trying to manage multiple income streams will turn out to be a hassle. Maybe having to make some money will keep me moving more than I have been. A little bit of external motivation is probably good for me. I’m hoping that maybe it’ll also serve as an anchor for spending, as our expenses inflated from $30k to $35k this past year, most of which is attributable to increased travel and one large medical expense. Maybe decreased income will reinforce the need for decreased expenses. It can be easy to ease up on spending when the money is flowing in from full time employment. I guess we’ll see what happens.

[calamityjane]

Speaking of camping, after a great time at EREfest, we wanted to give “regular” camping a whirl. Staying at a car-camping campsite was not for us. Unseasonably warm October weather made afternoon naps in the tent a no-go, which we really needed from being kept up at night by crying babies on either side of us. Could be solved by using earplugs, but in general camping seemed like a large hassle compared to just rolling up to a fully equipped house.

I might suggest that your camping experiences would be GREATLY improved by avoiding "campgrounds" altogether and seeking out public lands for boondocking. With some small improvements to a basic gear list, the hassle factor of this kind of lifestyle can be almost zero, at least for short periods of time in moderate climates.

[grundomatic]

My perception of time has changed since leaving the full-time job.

It used to be that the days felt long, while weeks and months seemed to fly by. "It's April already!?!"

Now, the days go fast, but the weeks and months feel very full. "That was just last week!?!"