Lemon's Journal

[Lemon]

Mixed day today.

Finally sent of my CV to someone from whom I hope I will be able to develop a side gig. This is probably not the most cost effective way for me to earn more cash but it does seem promising in terms of entertainment value and developing skills. I could just to more shifts but for the stress involved I am not interested unless they are doss shifts that you only learn about by being in the know. Like the shift I got paid £25 and hour to see one patient and sit around eating pigs in blanket and chatting with the nurses. Ok. I will probably never get such a good shift again...But £25 an hour isn't worth it for the stressful departments and all shifts pay the same in my current hospital. Mad!

Also taking on possibly more work on the policy side if my contact pays off.

Was actually able to have time to teach students yesterday. One of the most satisfying parts of the job, really annoys me that basically no one was trying to to teach them before I just went up to them and just started getting things sorted. Not even based on my firm but keen and actually wanting to work, I hate when enthusiasm gets beaten out of people by being ignored...all to common. Yeah we are all busy but come on guys. Sadly too junior to start getting them to do your job (under supervision). Any final years/penultimate years that come my way...well they will learn the job

Too much of med school seems to be spent in stuffy lecture theatres in a very inefficient way to assimilate information. Then when released onto the wards how much time is spent there rather than in the library/bed is largely ignored unless taken to the extreme. Which is how you end up with juniors who can't put in cannulas/have never done a catheter/etc. when they become a Dr. Then suddenly, shit they are the person called to do these things.

Bit of a bummer in that the mudguards ordered for my bike are too large for it despite it being listed they would fit. Have emailed to complain. We will see how that goes.

Baking continues. Tomorrows new plan is making my own tortillas. If I get this right they will be a faction of buying them, and I find working with flour strangely therapeutic (especially on a Sunday when they cleaners come the next day, which probably makes me a terrible person).

Reading the death of Ivan Ilyich. Very enjoyable and my preferred bit of Tolstoy I have read so far. Recommended to me by a palliative care physician as some parting advice at the end of med school. I am glad to be finally reading it.

[Lemon]

I now get to enjoy two very much deserved weeks off.

The whole of 2016 so far has been a slog with only a total of a handful of days off (I have worked most weekends) and most of those being post night shifts. But it is done and I am moving on to brighter things. Learnt a lot in an area of medicine that is not my first choice (acute surgery). Everyone seems to think I did my job well though which is probably a little bit too satisfying (even if being mistaken for someone with years more experienced is scary at times). My favourite comment being form a senior being 'Lemon is good, if lemon says it is x then it is x' which was completely unexpected and far more rewarding than planned 'feedback'. I just felt I was doing the job as well as I could do with a vague sensation of just about being able to keep up with the torrent facing me at times. So nice to get some praise for my 'just get on and do attitude'.

Sick patients. very satisfying when your patients make it to ITU and you see them come back out again, because you have picked it up, started what you can while waiting for the called cavalry to arrive. My previous 'experience' with having to palliate with less than ideal senior support also has come in handy again and I was about to teach some of my colleagues about the way to go about it.

That just do now needs to be played out at home. The excuse of 12 1/2 hour days and then some no longer applies, for at least a month or so. Need to get back on track with learning about business accounting. I have allowed myself 10% of the portfolio to 'play' with while learning, the rest being index linked for the foreseeable until I feel I actually 'know' what I am doing. I can't cope with total indexing because I feel the need to play and can't/won't believe the market is anywhere near efficient, not that I am going to be any better.

Sadly managed to have an accident on the bike. But bar a smashed peddle no significant damage to bike or me. Cycling 10 miles with half a peddle was a worthwhile experience but not one I really wish to repeat and has reminded me I actually need to contingency plan when going further afield on the bike.

[JL13]

I actually need to contingency plan when going further afield on the bike.

Do they have Uber in the UK?

Of course any reason is a good reason to get one more bike!

[Lemon]

I actually need to contingency plan when going further afield on the bike.

Do they have Uber in the UK?

Of course any reason is a good reason to get one more bike!

We do, but in my city it is only just getting started!

Bike is now all better No space for a second bike! Plus I like my workhorse hybrid


Savings carrying on. No major slip ups but looking for housing next year I should be able to find something not too much more expensive than what I currently have. Which is nice as I thought I was going to take a much larger hit.

The current ongoing dispute with the government is starting to become a real drag. I don't think they realise quite how understaffed certain parts of the service are or how many people may potentially leave. It won't cause problems immediately but I can't see it ending well. What was surprising is how many people seem to be stressing majorly about a few days of lost pay to strikes. I can't imagine every living that close to my income with the amounts these people earn!

Just started trying matched betting to try and get some free cash, rather good fun unlike regular gambling!

[Lemon]

It has been an interesting 2 weeks.

2 Weeks ago I was on night shifts. We were understaffed. Badly understaffed. Very Badly understaffed. Everyone knew. People had been called to try and get extra people in. No such luck for the first night. It was one of the most stressful days I have ever had practicing medicine. It was impossible to do the job I wanted. keep everyone alive became the priority. We succeeded. It was exhausting. And then we did the same for the next few nights, with slightly less understaffing. I have learnt a lot about Triage. I am probably a better doctor for it. But it was a high price.

Last week was just horrendously busy too, no way to beat the workload. Working for 12 1/2hrs with no real break. Completely breaking when you then have to again be professional, regardless of what others are doing...

Last Thursday was the first shift I had had in a long time I would call a good shift. My work was praised, I actually got teaching and felt valued.

I talked with my supervisor/mentor about these shifts. They have 'escalated it'. I also told them about how I am thinking of leaving. They couldn't give me a good reason to stay other than a weak 'medicine is great really'.

This is the problem I have. The politics of the situation are dire. This has caused a retention crisis nationally. (the number for this year are even more scary than the last). This makes the job worse. And so on. We will be striking again about it. I hope it works. Because they really haven't got a clue yet about how bad the shortages are going to make things. They really are at risk of losing the best of a generation of medics to other countries and pursuits.

Having opened the ERE bottle I know it is likely I will no longer be 'working' in 10 years time. So why not leave and earn more with a better work life balance? I enjoy the job on good days. But the unfun super busy days seem to be growing in number and if the political situation continues as is then that will only get worse. Why stay if that becomes certain? The sense of duty? Seems pretty weak. I mean I need to do another year to then be able to return with ease if I chose to do so, so I will doc that to keep options.

Savings continue. Nearly up to 30k which is exciting!

Also first time claiming tax back! Very exciting. Learnt I have already 3 years of NI contributions I didn't know about meaning I can get most of the state pension with another 7 years of working. Which is great as it means I will have another layer of contingency of fully covering expenses at 68!

Trying to get back into diving now I will be on a more sociable job for the next 4 months. Yay weekends off. I really appreciate weekends now. Good learning experience from the block

[Lemon]

Well looking back on the last Journal entry in a much better place, the joys of proper staffing

Savings have carried on and I now have a graph of NW and progression to FIRE:



Not particularly exciting. But back of the envelope estimate would still put this as only 6 years to FIRE in a bare bones form!

I had previously read the infamous Office politics article from here and naively felt it didn't apply so much to medicine (clueless me). A recent conversation with my supervisor made it abundantly clear that sadly it does apply and how my cohort are bottom rung priority when compared to the institution. They really don't like how much they are paying us currently (I agree I am probably being overpaid for value right now, but they screwed up with previous docs, did nothing and arena complaining about how unfair it is they are being penalised. I have very little sympathy.

A week off now, nice cheap holiday hiking in France. Think of spending my other week off this rotation volunteering for the National Trust. Cheap holiday and I get to learn how to build dry stone walls and footpaths or alternatively learning bushcraft and woodland maintenance. Not sure which would be more useful yet.

Looking forward to August when I will not be working any weekends for 4 months, unless I choose to to try and bring FIRE a bit sooner.

[Lemon]

New place to live!

Sadly not as cheap as my current £300/month deal. £430/month. Ouch. But it does have a few things to make that more palatable. Double bed (makes the boyfriend happy :p ) and not having to pay for usage of a washing machine (knocking a grand total of ~£5 of the monthly bill at most, small silver lining). But £1.5k less of savings a year hurts.

Trying to avoid a car

I was almost resigned to the fact that a car would be necessary from August because of the way my work will be changing (I will have 2 places of work rather far apart, one fore 4 months and the other for 8 months). But then I looked at insurance. Being young and not having had my own policy would make this cost £650. This is ignoring any other car running costs (the car itself would be free. Parents have 5 sitting on their drive at the moment...because reasons). So the new plan. Commute by bike again. At 10miles one way this would be the longest commute by bike I had done (used to do 6 at uni) and google says just under an hour. So totally doable although I would like to do a few trial runs. I need to be sure they have showers at the office though or this is completely dead in the water. Public transport would be similar in cost to the car with the disadvantage of no car for weekend adventures...Any other suggestions are recommended. I really hope they have showers or I will be stuck

Holiday

Just what I needed. Absolutely beautiful and with free geology lectures from the other half. Even if I did have to put up with some grumbling about wishing he had brought some tools and a fieldbook.

Saving

Continues. Average Savings Rate has dropped to 71% though sadly thanks to the additional holiday costs. Currently debating on investment strategy. Keeping my current 90% index 10% play/learning until I learn more. Although most of my money is currently in cash at rates of 3-5% as I am debating about whether house buying in the medium is probably the way to go if I end up in 'not london' because of all the stupid benefits from a tax point of view that permits.

[Lemon]

Sort of having mixed feelings about the new job. Hours are going to be a lot better, it is going to be less stressful. But I think I am probably trading satisfaction of higher needs for more satisfaction of lower needs. We will find out, only for 4 months and then I revert back to 'busy but fulfilling'.


They can't yet tell me whether I will be on the new or old contract. This is frustrating given if on the new contract because of flawed payment protection mumbo jumbo I would be 4k better off over the 4 months or near enough.

Avoiding a Car

Likely this is now going to be successful. There are shower facilities at the workplace! Better yet, looking at it I will be able to claim expenses on cycling because it isn't my usual place of work. HR have tentatively said 'probably but we need to check'. If so that would be an extra £4 a day for cycling, so being paid to get to work, on free transport, that makes me healthier. I mean an extra £80 a month isn't huge sums but any net plus for something I am gonna do anyway always helps!



I also did some rough workings on 'what if I wanted to buy a house in london now'. In short with my partner we could if we wanted today get a 2 bed in a less desirable location now, let alone in a year or so when I move back. This was a surprisingly good feeling, especially for my partner who has been very much in the 'non one can afford to buy in london' camp. It does mean I have rather little sympathy for friends who out earn me by 50% of my salary who feel that it is unaffordable...

[Eureka]

But shouldn't you just buy a house? I suppose house prices in London are on the rise so once you move out and resell you have increased your net worth quite some and at the same time lived in a good place?

At least this is how it works in Copenhagen. The interest on the mortgage is so low (1-3%) and the houses/apartments in the right areas of town increase in value by 10%+ per year. And when you sell again you do not even have to pay taxes of your profit.

[Lemon]

Unfortunately it isn't that simple as I will not be living in london for another year and also it would mean an unequal share with my partner in the house, which I don't think is ideal for several reasons. I would rather if I was to buy in do equal share. And to have lived together at least for 6 months before considering any purchase. Distance makes this less viable

Add in this is on my current pay, on my reduced pay (due to more sociable hours) I wouldn't be able to hit the affordability multiples (despite any mortgage payment being less or at least similar to the amount of rent you would pay but never mind.

Also tbh I think the london market is very much liable to any shock at present (Brexit or any other trigger) that would be at risk of negative equity.

[Eureka]

I see.

[Lemon]

Well today was an interesting illumination into the hazards of specialisation. Complete curve ball from asking a specialist their advise and getting something that with retrospect makes total sense but had been overlooked by consultants in several alternate specialties which wasn't that hard to find once the correct specialist illuminated the facts but would probably have also been picked up by a general practitioner.

Has also reaffirmed to me the importance of study as well as practice. Something that this year I have probably neglected somewhat and need to get back in to, while I am a better clinician now than a year ago some of that more broad knowledge has slipped or needs updating.

This also applies to life in general. I fear becoming to narrow from having lost the desire to read and wander through odd topics. Which is no doubt a result of the amount of hours spent on work, but I sadly can't change that for the foreseeable (bar the 4 months from august) so I need to work with it.

[Lemon]

Apologies for an almost 2 month Hiatus!

Several interesting things have happened. This new rotation has been good. I am enjoying the 9-5 and the Commute (hah!). The 50minute bike ride to and from work has been brilliant. Well, apart from the accident I had 3 weeks ago. That was pain. Aquaplaining round a corner and coming off the bike was not fun. But I did a self primary and secondary survey, concluded no broken bones. Two very lovely people stopped to make sure I was ok (I was other than a bit of bleeding, pain and generally feeling like a tit) but after working out neither of their cars would fit my bike in and I didn't really want to bleed over what looked like nice interiors I declined any help. Damned if I was going to let anyone even THINK of calling an ambulance and have to turn up at my own ED. Working out that bike was also fine I decided to try to cycle the remaining 8 miles home, which was a bit of a tough slog but managed. Learning points? 1) Slow down in the rain 2) An accident doesn't stop you making your way home under your own steam.

Amusingly everyone kept commenting on my injuries afterwords, just come nasty grazes/wounds on my arm that might scar but nothing facial or anything other than very minority cosmetic. The less kind said I looked like a small child with all the injuries! Although I think that is in someways something to be proud of.

The actual work is miles away from clinical work. This has been nice. I still feel like I am making a difference (although it is more abstract). I have actually been thanked more often by some members of the public (not all most are wonderful) than I did when literally stopping them dying not that I need any it is my job. I have thought about taking this route long term. But I vascilate because I like my hard earned clinical skills and wouldn't really want to seem them atrophy completely and permanently. The pay cut is less appreciated but I can't really expect the same pay for less work with the same employer.

As for ERE, the saving carries on, albeit it at a reduce rate with the pay cut. I have been reading this thread: http://forum.earlyretirementextreme.com ... f=7&t=8103 The one thing it shows me in terms of obvious area of weakness which I was already aware of to an extent is income streams. Other than Primary employment and dividends I have no other real stream of income that amounts to anything at all (<£100/yr). Part of this is I can pick up additional shifts at a rate that is so much higher than anything else I have been able to find. Such is the curse of specialisation. Monetising most of my hobbies appears too be a challenge as high barrier to entry with things like Scuba diving. I do get payback from my gradual improvement in fixing things and cooking, though ever becoming good enough to monetise this is rather far off looking at this point.

My main issue now seems to be the internet. I spend too much time on it. Not useful time. Pointless time sink activities. I use SelfControl which helps but is rather a blunt tool. Trying to work on this is I think going to be my major issue. I may not watch TV but If I spend a similar amount of time reading the same news sites, social media etc. that doesn't really count for much. Part of me wonders if this will ever get solved in any sort of entirety. But I am at least moving forward on most fronts, if not at the speed I would like.

[Chris]

My main issue now seems to be the internet. I spend too much time on it. Not useful time. Pointless time sink activities.

You, me, and probably several hundred million people suffer from this. It was definitely different with dial-up internet, when you only had four hours per month of access. Didn't waste a lot of time with only 8 minutes per day!

I saw a tip from Aziz Anzari recently about wasting time on the Internet, putting it into perspective with spending time productively:

Like, here’s a test, OK. Take, like, your nightly or morning browse of the Internet, right? Your Facebook feed, Instagram feed, Twitter, whatever. OK if someone every morning was like, I’m gonna print this and give you a bound copy of all this stuff you read so you don’t have to use the Internet. You can just get a bound copy of it. Would you read that book? No! You’d be like, this book sucks. There’s a link to some article about a horse that found its owner somehow. It’s not that interesting.

[Lemon]

@chris that is an interesting way to look at things. I have had some limited success at reducing my internet usage now, and making that which I do use higher quality. I tend to find here and a few other site very much benefit me from regularly dipping in for small amounts. I tend to find useful nuggets that I can use to my advantage. Mainstream news? Not so much and I am going to try and avoid it as much as possible!

Having done an additional shift back on my old ward it has been clearly hilgihted to me that it is the volume and intensity of the work that makes me want to leave at time. I enjoyed the whole day. Despite not eating lunch or drinking anything for 10 hours. I guess a form of flow. Whereas everyone else was a little bit miserable. They only slightly vexing thing was at the start where my registrar tried to baby me. After I explained I had actually done this job before and was an SHO not first year doc they did twig and in the end thanked me for being so useful!

So I think part time occasional work is very much on the cards. I could earn my monthly expenses in 2 days of locuming shifts at this level and my value will only go up with years of experience. Alas as a trainee my standard shifts are paid at a rather less desirable rate.

Outside of work I have tried baking a variety of things. All with white flour so less than ideal in health terms...might have to try harder on that one

I really miss having a garden. But when moving every year in August for jobs there seems little point. Any work will be harvested once I leave somewhere. Sadly I can only think I need to wait until I can set down more stable roots.

I was reading the epicurean thread and in particular the linked comic (on tablet so linking will have to wait). I think I might have to try offering simple group activities to my Dr colleagues and see who is interested. Might be interesting to see who turns up. Most still seem to think a 'night out' is the pinnacle of socialisation sadly. I am not sure make your own pizza will compete very well...But my close friends are rather scattered to the winds at this point so I do need to find a few new ones.

[Lemon]

Saving rate has held up rather well, transport being the only area spending could be easily cut if I wasn't regularly travelling to London, that is unavoidable for now unless I want to ignore my partner, which I don't! Sadly when that gets solved it will be with increasing rent costs from a return to London (moving in with my partner will hopefully reduce the pain of that). Brexit has made me look on paper rather a lot wealthier, in a large part due to the devaluation of the pound boosting the pound-value of my international assets. How much of that goes up in inflation smoke remains to be seen.

Career-wise I now know which training scheme I am applying to and where, I just need to wait for the application to open. If I don't get a job I want I will probably decline any offer and then take a non training position for 6 months, then decide. The current shortage of doctors is really starting to play into some trainees favour like me who are able to now afford to be very fussy/take time out to do fun jobs/make training work for them. Unless you want to do a very competitive specialty most programs now have some spaces after round 1 and increasing numbers round 2. That and my increasing savings mean I feel in a relatively strong position on any 'workplace dispute'. Sadly these are becoming more often as doctor shortages increase, and for those friends less financially secure it does seem to be starting to take its toll. It is regrettable for the NHS that things are like this, but I don't have much hope the government is going to be trying to actually fix any of the problems any time soon, this winter is likely going to be rather scary given how things are now and it is only the tail end of October.


Having read this thread viewtopic.php?f=7&t=8215 it has highlighted again that I am relatively fragile with a score on the metric of 1.notalot. Currently I am very much trapped in the salary-man position, I am not sure how easy this is to avoid at present as training has to be full time, leaving rather limited time for any other revenue avenues. I could improve my score by separately counting my part time work but as this is also pretty much the same work as my normal day to day it isn't sufficiently unrelated for this to be anythign but chart buffing. the joys of specializing meaning I can take well paid hourly based work leaving little incentive to look for unrelated work. I need to work on this and be more mindful of it, I do have some hobbies that could become 'monetized' and it could naturally happen in all likelihood at the point I can reduce hours.

My individual actions do seem to be slowly changing others behaviour as well which is heartening to see. 1 person at work is now cycling to work once a week and another once the office moves in a few weeks time is intending to cycle most days! Hurrah for lead by example! Parents also seem to be making healthier choices which is great.

Reducing internet use has...not gone quite as well, although I have got better at avoiding the complete dross and I find when I read threads here I do at least tend to learn something of value. Once again I must dust myself off and try again.

[George the original one]

> Currently I am very much trapped in the salary-man position

Everyone are trapped for awhile unless they were born to wealth. The key is reducing the entrapment period rather than eliminating it.

[Lemon]

@George I agree to an my main issue is for how long the entrapment period is, if I can create alternative sources of income such that the fragility can be reduced and also at the same time reduce the time spent accumulating wealth solely from one skill set that would be desirable.



With the switch form Daylight Saving time I am now cycling back in the complete darkness. This is both Exhilarating and terrifying with my probably not up to the task lights. I am visible enough with my trade union Hi-Viz (Although that probably makes me all the more tempting a target for some drivers, hey at least it doesn't say 'official picket' unlike the armbands) but I think this weekend I am going to have to purchase a brighter front light, because on 3 miles of unlit roads it would be nicer to see slightly further in front, the rest of the journey is fine. This feels very different to when I was in london cycling in darkness but with plenty of street lights even if I was probably less safe due to being tired (being up for over 24 hours for on-calls as a student...because employment law doesn't count if you are not employed).
It was also completely freezing today so shorts are out and diving thermals are to be repurposed tomorrow for cycling. A fashionable cyclist I am not, but I do aim to be warm .

Applications for further training open tomorrow so I then get to see the run of the gauntlet and all the jobs available. Hopefully it all goes alright, although the application process is drawn out until March.

Savings continue to pile up with every Paycheck and it still Surprises me how fast. The next milestone is 50k which will be hopefully sometime in the first half of next year.

[G_Dog]

With the switch form Daylight Saving time I am now cycling back in the complete darkness. This is both Exhilarating and terrifying with my probably not up to the task lights. I am visible enough with my trade union Hi-Viz (Although that probably makes me all the more tempting a target for some drivers, hey at least it doesn't say 'official picket' unlike the armbands) but I think this weekend I am going to have to purchase a brighter front light, because on 3 miles of unlit roads it would be nicer to see slightly further in front, the rest of the journey is fine.

I have the same issue with unlit roads, I find adding a flashing red to your continuous red really helps with drivers seeing you.

Good luck with your applications!

[Lemon]

@G_Dog Thanks!

I did end up with probably too much light related fun recently. Multiple light failures simultaneously despite having spares was slightly stressful. Thankfully by the time I was down to a single (dim) front light I was into well lit urban areas and nearly home. But at least I had redundancy in the first place or I would have been completely screwed!

Another time a motorcyclist stopped to point out my back light wasn't visible...It had managed to reposition itself to be rather useless.
Ah well. I survived!
I am going to miss my long commutes now the office has moved closer and even that shorted commute will be gone in a weeks time when I rotate back in to the hospital.

Currently having a bit of a crisis with career planing at the moment. I have realised that one of the things I really like is just changing jobs every 4 months which is why I have enjoyed my current program so much. GP (family med) at least does this for the first 2/3rds (well, every 6 months) but I am having a bit of dilemma as I really want to do more than that number of rotations before getting stuck in to an 'end job'. Because 1) I think it would make me better at it and 2) I find it fun. Not sure how easy it would be after training to go back and works at a lower grade in another specialty. I suspect not overly easy. Although given money isn't a major issue I could take any following pay cut. I can apply for time out of program during a program, but it isn't as simple. Sadly the deadline for applications is in 4 days so I will probably have to submit while I try and find stuff out. The ideal solution would be to finish this section of life FIRE'd and able to then not work if I choose to do so.

Unfortunately I can't really go through it with my partner who is currently looking for jobs as 'Argh I have too many options' is unlikely to go down well. As for peers, well I don't think they can help as either they 1) 'want a break' from training (after 2 years?) or 2) Know exactly what they want. Maybe my educational supervisor might be able to help. Unfortunately most previous mentors/supervisors have taken the the view of I am one of the brighter students and so should be doing 'higher' things which I find boring, pretentious, or both. I don't think I am very popular with the current programme director for my outspoken views...