Any nice ERE ladies here? Feel free to message me if you want to get coffee some time..
dating ERE
In general I have always heard "the entity with the most money" always wins in court. I am not entirely sure why this would be so ; clearly the lawyer with the best case and/or the preferences of the judge would seem to apply more. But, alas, it's what I've always heard.
The being said, I have several lawyers and lawyer's assistants as clients ; I can't say I'm too biased. Additionally, I have some friends who seem to have gone through hell and high water in courts ; and they ARE biased. When it comes to judges, court cases, anything having to do with child protective services or the department of human resources (DHR), well, lets just say no one ever seems to be happy.
The being said, I have several lawyers and lawyer's assistants as clients ; I can't say I'm too biased. Additionally, I have some friends who seem to have gone through hell and high water in courts ; and they ARE biased. When it comes to judges, court cases, anything having to do with child protective services or the department of human resources (DHR), well, lets just say no one ever seems to be happy.
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Spartan_Warrior
- Posts: 1659
- Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:24 am
@mrjay that is a misnomer. The truth is.. if you have boobs, you win in divorce court. Civil court is where the most money wins. Truth is this.. Lawyers are crooked, we all know that. Women are taught nowadays that the first thing they do when seeking a divorce is file a restraining order. You don't have to really have much evidence, just call the cops and say that their husband verbally abuses them. So when the poor sap comes home from work, the cops are waiting on him. And their lawyers don't tell them all the other ramifications of this like.. oh let's say if the husband has a concealed carry permit. Or if you have children and that you can no longer go out at night to clubs because you can't directly go to the new place your husband is living to drop off the kids because if the person who filed the restraining order violates it, it's just the same punishment as the person its filed against. So you have to pay someone to sit somewhere for like an hour with your kids. Some stranger usually. So you drop the kids off, then after 20 minutes no sooner no later, the husband comes to pick up the kids. Same thing when he drops them off. So any time the husband wants to apply for a job now that RO is showing up. Any time he files for a gun permit, it shows up. Certain government job applications.. yup.. it's there.
Oh and then we can look at states like.. umm.. Mississippi. Where judges are now ordering STEP-fathers to pay child support. YES you read that right.. Step-fathers are paying child support on children that are not theirs.
How do I know all this? Hmmm.. Let me think.. LOL.
Also almost ALL states are no fault divorce states. That means that you can have video interview of your wife stating matter of factly into the camera that she slept with half the town AND the judge, and nobody cares. She's still getting half or all of everything.
LOL.. But.. it takes a few years, but after I finally bought more clothes and my tools again.. you know.. my ex and I are just finally starting to get along after almost 9 years. But, there's just something about draining my entire bank account that gets me keeping a grudge on someone for this long. Or holding my kids hostage from me until I hand over large sums of money. But hey.. I've got a penis so the courts never care. They just laugh when you tell them you hadn't seen your kids in 8 months so you finally handed over 10K to see them. Not like the witch drove up to meet me with the kids in the back seat, wound the window down just enough for them to say they loved me, then wound the window back up and said if I wanted to see my kids again that I'd follow her to the bank and withdraw 10K immediately in cash. But do the courts care? nope.. they just laugh and say you're stupid for paying her. They'd rather see fathers NEVEr see their kids.
Oh and then we can look at states like.. umm.. Mississippi. Where judges are now ordering STEP-fathers to pay child support. YES you read that right.. Step-fathers are paying child support on children that are not theirs.
How do I know all this? Hmmm.. Let me think.. LOL.
Also almost ALL states are no fault divorce states. That means that you can have video interview of your wife stating matter of factly into the camera that she slept with half the town AND the judge, and nobody cares. She's still getting half or all of everything.
LOL.. But.. it takes a few years, but after I finally bought more clothes and my tools again.. you know.. my ex and I are just finally starting to get along after almost 9 years. But, there's just something about draining my entire bank account that gets me keeping a grudge on someone for this long. Or holding my kids hostage from me until I hand over large sums of money. But hey.. I've got a penis so the courts never care. They just laugh when you tell them you hadn't seen your kids in 8 months so you finally handed over 10K to see them. Not like the witch drove up to meet me with the kids in the back seat, wound the window down just enough for them to say they loved me, then wound the window back up and said if I wanted to see my kids again that I'd follow her to the bank and withdraw 10K immediately in cash. But do the courts care? nope.. they just laugh and say you're stupid for paying her. They'd rather see fathers NEVEr see their kids.
Okay, so off my soap box. I've recently been having more than just okay luck with this dating site I use. It's almost eerily odd how many messages I'm getting. Makes me wonder if there wasn't some new years resolution by half the women of the world to find a man. I use a site called WealthyMen. Is it setup primarily for gold diggers to scam guys with money? Yes. BUT, the majority of women on there are late 30's - 60's. Women that already have money. They just want the same thing as me. They want to find someone they don't have to worry about their money with. They also make it really easy to message women. They put little reminders on your page. They also make these quick messages that you can use. I get more responses from the quick messages though than when I type something witty. I even tried SpartanWarrior's method and it's hit or miss. But the quick messages have like an 80% response rate.
Also.. for those guys wanting to date foreign women. Please do NOT pay for these sites of mail order brides. I know a few sites that will not rob you, but most will rob you blind. I've found this out first hand. They all have little tricks and games they play with you to get you to pay more money, in essence tricking you into buying something. Usually the trick is that you buy flowers and candy for the girl you've been chatting with. Then they take a picture of her with these and send to you. I did it ONCE. I had been emailing with this woman for almost a month. So I bought her flowers and a teddy bear. They take the picture and this bear looks like it was lit on fire, the flowers were wilted. Then I start looking into it, and it's just they buy one set of flowers, keep them for a week and take pictures of all the girls with those flowers until they die.
Anything Anastasia Date or one of their affiliates.. Do NOT EVER NEVER NEVER use them. NEVER! This coming from a guy that has lost thousands learning all these little tips and tricks of the online dating game.
"A Foreign Affair" seems to be a fairly reputable place for the service they provide if that's your thing. Honestly I've dated women from more countries than most people know exist, and i can say that the best ones are not met on dating sites. I've never used this AFA, but it's not a large circle of guys that actively seek a foreign partner. So from what I've heard it's not bad.
Also.. for those guys wanting to date foreign women. Please do NOT pay for these sites of mail order brides. I know a few sites that will not rob you, but most will rob you blind. I've found this out first hand. They all have little tricks and games they play with you to get you to pay more money, in essence tricking you into buying something. Usually the trick is that you buy flowers and candy for the girl you've been chatting with. Then they take a picture of her with these and send to you. I did it ONCE. I had been emailing with this woman for almost a month. So I bought her flowers and a teddy bear. They take the picture and this bear looks like it was lit on fire, the flowers were wilted. Then I start looking into it, and it's just they buy one set of flowers, keep them for a week and take pictures of all the girls with those flowers until they die.
Anything Anastasia Date or one of their affiliates.. Do NOT EVER NEVER NEVER use them. NEVER! This coming from a guy that has lost thousands learning all these little tips and tricks of the online dating game.
"A Foreign Affair" seems to be a fairly reputable place for the service they provide if that's your thing. Honestly I've dated women from more countries than most people know exist, and i can say that the best ones are not met on dating sites. I've never used this AFA, but it's not a large circle of guys that actively seek a foreign partner. So from what I've heard it's not bad.
Yes, this post has been taken over by negative nancy's. "If you have boobs, you win in divorce court"? Haha, I am sure it is easier to say that than deal with the realities of the law.
How about this for a reality: women are increasingly making more and more of the money and need men less and less. If you want a woman in your life, an attitude adjustment will help you out a heck of a lot more than your money. They just aren't putting up with the crap that they used to. Deal.
How about this for a reality: women are increasingly making more and more of the money and need men less and less. If you want a woman in your life, an attitude adjustment will help you out a heck of a lot more than your money. They just aren't putting up with the crap that they used to. Deal.
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Spartan_Warrior
- Posts: 1659
- Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:24 am
If you've never read Freud or any of the books on how his studies effected divorce courts in today's society. They're a good read. Also, I'm not sure what realities of the law you're talking about. Because I can get you court transcripts of the judge telling me the amount of what I was to pay in child support and me then telling him I cannot afford that amount. To which the judge told me that I better get a second job. So I'm not sure where in that conversation I had with that judge that I could have possibly pulled out the part where women don't NEED men as much anymore. I also suspect that CS didn't read the part where I talk about my exwife using my kids to extort money out of me.
But hey. I'm the negative nancy. No biggie. I didn't get to ER by making friends. I got here by clawing, biting, scraping, and kicking my way to the top of my profession. I'm better at my job than 95% of those twice my age with twice as much experience. I really do apologize if dating efficiencies weren't one of the things I learned throughout my life. BUT, the truth sometimes hurts. I accept when I'm wrong. But here I've not posted anything that can be proven wrong unless you were there following me through my journeys in life. OH well.. I tried. My two cents are in.. Thanks for reading.
But hey. I'm the negative nancy. No biggie. I didn't get to ER by making friends. I got here by clawing, biting, scraping, and kicking my way to the top of my profession. I'm better at my job than 95% of those twice my age with twice as much experience. I really do apologize if dating efficiencies weren't one of the things I learned throughout my life. BUT, the truth sometimes hurts. I accept when I'm wrong. But here I've not posted anything that can be proven wrong unless you were there following me through my journeys in life. OH well.. I tried. My two cents are in.. Thanks for reading.
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zarathustra
- Posts: 172
- Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2012 11:15 pm
- Location: VEGAS, BABY
i have some guy friends that always complain about the women they end up with being into money and consumerism and they're idiots, etc . . . they tell me i'm the perfect woman and so rare and all other women are terrible.
i tell them the very fact that i exist means there are plenty like me. i then ask them how they are looking for women, where they meet them, and then how are they wooing these women and who are they being when they are around them?
they usually go to fancy clubs and pay for everything and buy them clothes, take them on trips, etc . . .
it's where you go to look
it's how you live
if you are ere and frugal, don't change that to woo or get a woman, no matter how hot the tail seems.
be as smart about your dating choices as you are about your business, ere, etc. or treat a sex thing like a sex thing and leave it at that. don't make it into something it should never be.
believe me, there's plenty of hot tail that isn't like that.
and we make good conversation, too.
i tell them the very fact that i exist means there are plenty like me. i then ask them how they are looking for women, where they meet them, and then how are they wooing these women and who are they being when they are around them?
they usually go to fancy clubs and pay for everything and buy them clothes, take them on trips, etc . . .
it's where you go to look
it's how you live
if you are ere and frugal, don't change that to woo or get a woman, no matter how hot the tail seems.
be as smart about your dating choices as you are about your business, ere, etc. or treat a sex thing like a sex thing and leave it at that. don't make it into something it should never be.
believe me, there's plenty of hot tail that isn't like that.
and we make good conversation, too.
You know what I find to be the most frustrating thing about dating or rather trying to find someone to love? ... finding that perfect balance of love and friendship. I have a few female friends that sound just like you zarathustra. Perfect in every sense of the word. They hold a good conversation, beautiful in every sense of the word. But we started out as friends. I find it difficult to make the move to go from friend to significant other. I hate to potentially ruin the friendship by making the move from friendly engagements to a more formal "date". I see ads and things for these classes for women like blowjob classes, or dating seminars.. Like that movie Hitch. There needs to be someone in real life that does things like this for men discretely as we men don't like people to think we can't do things on our own. haha.
Here are some thoughts I have on dating, mostly from a few years back when I was actively looking. Note that this is written in untranslated engineer-speak, so hopefully it doesn't offend anyone.
If you're looking but can't find someone you want to date that also wants to date you, I'd say your options are some combination of the following:
1) raise your value/attractiveness to others
2) meet more people
3) lower your standards
Some thoughts on all three:
1) Figure out what your ideal partner is looking for and see if you can improve yourself in those ways. In my opinion, "be yourself" is not necessarily the answer. Your self wants to eat ice cream and cookies and spend all day on the couch. But being in shape, dressing well, practicing proper hygiene, having a sense of humor, being a good conversationalist, having strength of character, living your life with passion, etc... these are things other people find attractive. Basically be your best self.
2) Online dating is a good way to meet lots of people. But there are other ways to meet people like through a hiking group or friends of friends or in a rock climbing gym or yoga class or whatever that could introduce you to high quality people or people with more in common with you. If I were looking for someone with some ERE overlap, I'd probably look at these types of groups: permaculture, sustainability, composting types and couchsurfing. (PS that toughmudder link is awesome)
3) When I started dating I was looking for someone that was a 100% perfect match on all dimensions and activities I enjoyed. (Crazy!) What I realized later was that you need to identify what's really important and get that right, and you can give up other stuff. For example, I'd say you need to share important values, general life plans, and the sex has to be good. But if you love hiking and they don't? It doesn't matter! Get a friend who likes hiking! That seems kind of obvious to me now, but it took me a while to work out for myself. Essentially this is lowering your standards, lowering your must-have list to just the important stuff. This is kind of like what we do with our expenses in ERE.
PS: even without a prenup, assets you bring into a marriage come back to you 100% in a divorce. Yet another reason to reach FI extremely early! Although I found out recently that the investment income/appreciation doesn't, which I think is a little BS.
If you're looking but can't find someone you want to date that also wants to date you, I'd say your options are some combination of the following:
1) raise your value/attractiveness to others
2) meet more people
3) lower your standards
Some thoughts on all three:
1) Figure out what your ideal partner is looking for and see if you can improve yourself in those ways. In my opinion, "be yourself" is not necessarily the answer. Your self wants to eat ice cream and cookies and spend all day on the couch. But being in shape, dressing well, practicing proper hygiene, having a sense of humor, being a good conversationalist, having strength of character, living your life with passion, etc... these are things other people find attractive. Basically be your best self.
2) Online dating is a good way to meet lots of people. But there are other ways to meet people like through a hiking group or friends of friends or in a rock climbing gym or yoga class or whatever that could introduce you to high quality people or people with more in common with you. If I were looking for someone with some ERE overlap, I'd probably look at these types of groups: permaculture, sustainability, composting types and couchsurfing. (PS that toughmudder link is awesome)
3) When I started dating I was looking for someone that was a 100% perfect match on all dimensions and activities I enjoyed. (Crazy!) What I realized later was that you need to identify what's really important and get that right, and you can give up other stuff. For example, I'd say you need to share important values, general life plans, and the sex has to be good. But if you love hiking and they don't? It doesn't matter! Get a friend who likes hiking! That seems kind of obvious to me now, but it took me a while to work out for myself. Essentially this is lowering your standards, lowering your must-have list to just the important stuff. This is kind of like what we do with our expenses in ERE.
PS: even without a prenup, assets you bring into a marriage come back to you 100% in a divorce. Yet another reason to reach FI extremely early! Although I found out recently that the investment income/appreciation doesn't, which I think is a little BS.
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jennypenny
- Posts: 6910
- Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 2:20 pm
Thought this was interesting...
www.creditscoredating.com
One problem is that ex-spouses can trash your credit score before they become exes, so divorced people might not be accurately represented by their score.
www.creditscoredating.com
One problem is that ex-spouses can trash your credit score before they become exes, so divorced people might not be accurately represented by their score.
Re: dating ERE
Firstly I would like to point out that this thread has been running for two years. Clearly, a lot of people have a lot to say on the matter.
I would like to throw my 2cents in to the ring.
Firstly, I am 32, male, employed as an Investigator in the Australian Defence Force, single, and have embraced ERE (currently moving aboard a yacht, buying a motorcycle and eating Jacobesque Pilaf occasionally)
Relevant recent dating history:
I had a relationship with an American women who moved to Australia from New York. Met her through my American Brother-in-law (she was his boss). She is in the Corporate world but struck me as a 'free spirit' rode a bicycle but did not drive a car. I quickly found that no car was a result of living in New York, and 'free spirit' meant that she enjoyed upmarket clubs on the companies dime, or her boyfriends (mine). I dont do the club scene anymore and really dont understand how it can appeal to any half intelligent person, secondly I really dont subscribe to the travel mentality, in that "I work to make money to travel and experience the world". Me I read books, travel with work and now own a yacht that will slowly take me to new places when I retire early.
Second recent relationship, I actually became engaged. She was a Consultant Doctor, very well off but had no concept of saving money, preparing for retirement. She constantly took offence at our income differences but she had no ability to budget or ERE and really relied on her year to year salary. She didnt appreciate me giving advice and I got sick of her getting stuck on this point so I moved on.
I am really now at the point of Spartan Warrior and Noob.
I found this interesting
http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/ ... 1xdn0.html
Basically, I'm not looking to have children. This drive people have for children strikes me as an evolutionary fail safe hard wired in to us so that we continue to propagate but there is no need. Earth is full and will continue to be for many generations. We should focus our efforts on educating those that are already here.
The concept of 'settling down with someone and making a home' is similar to providing for children or induced by the consumer world.
I don't really get into flirting as it strikes me as a waste of time. I appreciate romance and making an emotional effort but flirting, really? Isn't stimulating conversation fair more attractive?
I would simply like a companion, preferably attractive, to join me exploring and having adventures. Someone with the same ERE outlook (so the adventuring and exploring can be possible / affordable in the first place) who enjoys learning or exploring new concepts.
If I find that in my travels than great, otherwise I am more than comfortable with the idea of retiring early from full time employment and the world as it is and living solitary.
Cheers
I would like to throw my 2cents in to the ring.
Firstly, I am 32, male, employed as an Investigator in the Australian Defence Force, single, and have embraced ERE (currently moving aboard a yacht, buying a motorcycle and eating Jacobesque Pilaf occasionally)
Relevant recent dating history:
I had a relationship with an American women who moved to Australia from New York. Met her through my American Brother-in-law (she was his boss). She is in the Corporate world but struck me as a 'free spirit' rode a bicycle but did not drive a car. I quickly found that no car was a result of living in New York, and 'free spirit' meant that she enjoyed upmarket clubs on the companies dime, or her boyfriends (mine). I dont do the club scene anymore and really dont understand how it can appeal to any half intelligent person, secondly I really dont subscribe to the travel mentality, in that "I work to make money to travel and experience the world". Me I read books, travel with work and now own a yacht that will slowly take me to new places when I retire early.
Second recent relationship, I actually became engaged. She was a Consultant Doctor, very well off but had no concept of saving money, preparing for retirement. She constantly took offence at our income differences but she had no ability to budget or ERE and really relied on her year to year salary. She didnt appreciate me giving advice and I got sick of her getting stuck on this point so I moved on.
I am really now at the point of Spartan Warrior and Noob.
I found this interesting
http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/ ... 1xdn0.html
Basically, I'm not looking to have children. This drive people have for children strikes me as an evolutionary fail safe hard wired in to us so that we continue to propagate but there is no need. Earth is full and will continue to be for many generations. We should focus our efforts on educating those that are already here.
The concept of 'settling down with someone and making a home' is similar to providing for children or induced by the consumer world.
I don't really get into flirting as it strikes me as a waste of time. I appreciate romance and making an emotional effort but flirting, really? Isn't stimulating conversation fair more attractive?
I would simply like a companion, preferably attractive, to join me exploring and having adventures. Someone with the same ERE outlook (so the adventuring and exploring can be possible / affordable in the first place) who enjoys learning or exploring new concepts.
If I find that in my travels than great, otherwise I am more than comfortable with the idea of retiring early from full time employment and the world as it is and living solitary.
Cheers
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Spartan_Warrior
- Posts: 1659
- Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:24 am
Re: dating ERE
I am really now at the point of Spartan Warrior...
How things change in 1-2 years. I'm too lazy to go through this whole thread to find (and refute) my exact original opinion, but I'm pretty sure my main sticking point was that the dating ritual itself is one of those essentially extroverted activities that requires, by its nature, a lot of money. I still believe that is true.However, actually being in a relationship is rather different*, if you can find someone compatible. I still agree that finding someone compatible with ERE is no easy task, but not impossible either. I've been seeing my girlfriend for over a year now. As of now it looks like I've spent about $4,000 LESS than in 2012 when I was mostly single.
She isn't a big earner, but she is relatively frugal (maybe one Wheaton scale above me, enough that I probably seem impressively adaptive rather than freakish--mostly). Our lifestyle preferences in terms of activities and spending are rather in tune.
I realize a year isn't very long in the grand scheme of things, but whatever pessimism I formerly felt toward the compatibility of relationships and ERE has been greatly lessened at this point. I am certain that if my relationship were to end, 1) money and spending would not be the reason and 2) I could find another ERE-compatible mate.
Just my 2.000001 cents (updated, now with interest).
*After skimming the thread again briefly, it seems we're really talking about three different things: "dating", "long term relationships", and "marriage/divorce" and the consequences/challenges of each for ERE. As far as the marriage/divorce laws aspect, that particular element has been argued even more brutally and divisively in other, more recent threads. Too lazy to grab the link but if you check my profile it's probably still my "most participated in" thread as it got a little heated.
Re: dating ERE
oh wow, Spartan_Warrior himself - the surrogate father of this thread! (just being tongue in cheek)
Firstly, Congratulations on the continuing relationship and on reducing outgoings by 4k (more so the 4k than anything
)
Secondly, I experienced a rather serendipitous moment last night considering the nature of these posts. I went and did a grocery run and when the checkout girl asked, "so whats for dinner?" in a mechanical fashion I replied "Rice, Lentils and, onions" a little sheepishly, her eyes lit up. She then spent 5 minutes telling me about how much she enjoyed eating lentils and how she had 10 different types of lentils in the cupboard and would only eat lentils if her husband would etc. she then explained to me the intricacies of pressure cookers which I have never used.
I pondered this during my 1 hr drive out to work (company car thankfully) the next day and realised that my post of complaint, whilst cathartic doesn't make a point and I have simply been trying to do the same thing and expecting different results.
Epiphany = as my personal lifestyle changes I simply need to make the effort to engage in public activities that relate to what I am doing and in turn I will meet like minded people. Meeting these people will result in dates that are cost effective, that allow me to be gentlemanly and will cause me to live outside my self imposed means.
Now just to find those activities...
Firstly, Congratulations on the continuing relationship and on reducing outgoings by 4k (more so the 4k than anything
)Secondly, I experienced a rather serendipitous moment last night considering the nature of these posts. I went and did a grocery run and when the checkout girl asked, "so whats for dinner?" in a mechanical fashion I replied "Rice, Lentils and, onions" a little sheepishly, her eyes lit up. She then spent 5 minutes telling me about how much she enjoyed eating lentils and how she had 10 different types of lentils in the cupboard and would only eat lentils if her husband would etc. she then explained to me the intricacies of pressure cookers which I have never used.
I pondered this during my 1 hr drive out to work (company car thankfully) the next day and realised that my post of complaint, whilst cathartic doesn't make a point and I have simply been trying to do the same thing and expecting different results.
Epiphany = as my personal lifestyle changes I simply need to make the effort to engage in public activities that relate to what I am doing and in turn I will meet like minded people. Meeting these people will result in dates that are cost effective, that allow me to be gentlemanly and will cause me to live outside my self imposed means.
Now just to find those activities...
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frugal-one
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 9:10 am
- Location: Ohio
Re: dating ERE
Not quite as "frugal" as ERE I have been a Dave Ramsey fan/member since 2006. That qualify? On baby step 7.
Great topic.
Great topic.
Re: dating ERE
Really enjoying this thread!
So here's what I've been doing. I've been dating for years since my divorce and I don't worry at all about ERE compatibility with my girlfriends. I have no desire to ever get married again or mix my money or credit score with anyone else, so I really don't care what she does with her money. I only date adults with a job so it's just not an issue I worry about!
I usually date very attractive, upscale women who spend like crazy. Fine, it's not my money and they look great! I have lived with girlfriends and we always divide the bills and it has not been an issue. We do normal dating things and I budget for what I'll spend each month on dating. Money has not been and issue. What IS and issue is me Not wanting to have kids! That has ended more than a few long term relationships.
I don't think you can really change anyone. So I lead by example and sometimes they get It and sometimes they don't. I can't change her, but she can change herself.
I've saved a ton of money and am dangerously close to FI all while dating "high maintenance" girls, so it can be done.
If you want to stay single I don't see ERE as an issue. If you want to marry and have kids, it's a huge issue.
So here's what I've been doing. I've been dating for years since my divorce and I don't worry at all about ERE compatibility with my girlfriends. I have no desire to ever get married again or mix my money or credit score with anyone else, so I really don't care what she does with her money. I only date adults with a job so it's just not an issue I worry about!
I usually date very attractive, upscale women who spend like crazy. Fine, it's not my money and they look great!
I have lived with girlfriends and we always divide the bills and it has not been an issue. We do normal dating things and I budget for what I'll spend each month on dating. Money has not been and issue. What IS and issue is me Not wanting to have kids! That has ended more than a few long term relationships.I don't think you can really change anyone. So I lead by example and sometimes they get It and sometimes they don't. I can't change her, but she can change herself.
I've saved a ton of money and am dangerously close to FI all while dating "high maintenance" girls, so it can be done.
If you want to stay single I don't see ERE as an issue. If you want to marry and have kids, it's a huge issue.
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methpearice
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2014 3:06 am
Re: dating ERE
Dating is a topic that is always on my mind. I am a male almost in his thirties now. As an ERE man, I maintain a savings rate of 85% and my previous girlfriend was not too happy with that because she wanted the luxury car and the mansion, so we had to end the relationship. As a result, I've been single for about five months. When I was in a relationship, I felt trapped, but now that I am single, I feel at times both pangs of loneliness and trepidation of committing again. I believe that the ERE mindset has turned me into a commitment phobe.
I don't know where I stand on dating and relationships. I remember having lunch with my uncle yesterday. I was harping on to him about how debt and marital commitment are similar, that the former is a monetary obligation whereas the latter is both a monetary and non-monetary obligation. But while I was at the restaurant, a young female waitress smiled at me and immediately I was overcome with infatuation.
I don't know where I stand on dating and relationships. I remember having lunch with my uncle yesterday. I was harping on to him about how debt and marital commitment are similar, that the former is a monetary obligation whereas the latter is both a monetary and non-monetary obligation. But while I was at the restaurant, a young female waitress smiled at me and immediately I was overcome with infatuation.