And in particular, on distinguishing them from goals, desires, wants, needs, feelings, virtues, morals, and ethics: Ch. 11 In Dr. Russ Harris' ACT Made Simple (2009), "Know What Matters."
The book is a manual for therapists on how to deliver ACT. I prefer it to self-help books because self-help books tend to talk down to the reader and don't often refer to eg. the theories of cognition that their approach is based on. While I recommend the book for its discussion of values and how to help clients clarify them, I would recommend the entire book. There is nothing to stop an EREmite of average intellgence from using the "what to say to the client and in what order" as journaling exercises, for instance. "Complete worksheets for Russ Harris' ACT Made Simple (2016)" are also tumbling round the internets, should one like to "cheat on the homework" by getting the assignment worksheet without attending meetings with a teacher.
Ch. 12 Is about selecting value-informed goals.
ACT is a behavioral therapy with a very explicit focus on desired action. It is also mindfulness-based and emphasizes both taking action and not falling into the trap of experiential avoidance wrt one's feelings. Imo a solid resource.
For all WOG builders: On clarifying one's values
For all WOG builders: On clarifying one's values
Last edited by ertyu on Wed May 07, 2025 6:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: For all WOG builders: On clarifying one's values
Due to growing up in the 1970s, I've been doing values clarification worksheets since the 7th grade (this is what we did instead of learning rules related to punctuation), but the twist of "distinguishing" your values from the other possibilities you listed does sound intriguing. Added to my list.
Re: For all WOG builders: On clarifying one's values
This looks like a great resource for me, as someone who has only built one rudimentary WOG, and who likely confused values vs all the others. Thank you for sharing, added to my list.
Re: For all WOG builders: On clarifying one's values
@ertyu thanks for this suggestion. Will check it out. I found it on Hoopla if anyone else's looking..
Every now and again I think about ERE 4.1.4, "emotional goals for someone aspiring to be a Renaissance man". Clarifying values is something I'm striving towards.
Every now and again I think about ERE 4.1.4, "emotional goals for someone aspiring to be a Renaissance man". Clarifying values is something I'm striving towards.
Re: For all WOG builders: On clarifying one's values
I read the first few chapters and downloaded the worksheets. A few personal observations would be:
1) The standardized lifestyle categories such as Work, Relationship, do not work well for me.
2) I have some difficulty summoning up a list of my values when presented with a blank sheet.
3) OTOH, it is easy for me to select my top values from a large list of possible values. As usual when performing this exercise, I find myself having thoughts such as "Are there really humans who would select Conformity as one of their top values?"
4) I think the concept of the Choice Point described in the book would integrate almost seamlessly with WOG design and practice, and also go some way towards making the process easier.
5) I think the concepts of "hooking" and "unhooking" associated with the concept of the Choice Point are very much towards integrating WOG design and practice with the problems associated with the Needs Hierarchy as Jin+Guice has been exploring on his journal thread.
6) Frugality (or any other value commonly associated with money/finance) is not listed as one of the 58 most common human values on the worksheet, but Skillfulness, Freedom, and Independence are listed, and blank spaces are provided for addition of personal values not listed.
7) Of the 16 values listed as commonly shared by couples in relationship, the only one that wasn't also found on the list of 58 personal values was Teamwork. Addition and amendment of this list of values was also clearly suggested/advised. Skillfulness, Freedom, and Independence were not included in the list of 16 values most commonly shared by couples in relationship. Obviously, neither was Frugality, since it didn't even make top 58 common personal value cut.
1) The standardized lifestyle categories such as Work, Relationship, do not work well for me.
2) I have some difficulty summoning up a list of my values when presented with a blank sheet.
3) OTOH, it is easy for me to select my top values from a large list of possible values. As usual when performing this exercise, I find myself having thoughts such as "Are there really humans who would select Conformity as one of their top values?"
4) I think the concept of the Choice Point described in the book would integrate almost seamlessly with WOG design and practice, and also go some way towards making the process easier.
5) I think the concepts of "hooking" and "unhooking" associated with the concept of the Choice Point are very much towards integrating WOG design and practice with the problems associated with the Needs Hierarchy as Jin+Guice has been exploring on his journal thread.
6) Frugality (or any other value commonly associated with money/finance) is not listed as one of the 58 most common human values on the worksheet, but Skillfulness, Freedom, and Independence are listed, and blank spaces are provided for addition of personal values not listed.
7) Of the 16 values listed as commonly shared by couples in relationship, the only one that wasn't also found on the list of 58 personal values was Teamwork. Addition and amendment of this list of values was also clearly suggested/advised. Skillfulness, Freedom, and Independence were not included in the list of 16 values most commonly shared by couples in relationship. Obviously, neither was Frugality, since it didn't even make top 58 common personal value cut.
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jacob
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Re: For all WOG builders: On clarifying one's values
This illustrates the difference between an "active" vocabulary and a "passive" vocabulary. Or the ability to spontaneously generate vis-a-vis understand someone else doing it. I have the same issue with Fe as you do with Fi.7Wannabe5 wrote: ↑Fri May 09, 2025 8:53 am2) I have some difficulty summoning up a list of my values when presented with a blank sheet.
3) OTOH, it is easy for me to select my top values from a large list of possible values. As usual when performing this exercise, I find myself having thoughts such as "Are there really humans who would select Conformity as one of their top values?"
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ducknald_don
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Re: For all WOG builders: On clarifying one's values
Human nature seems to get the better of many of us: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asch_conf ... xperiments
Re: For all WOG builders: On clarifying one's values
@Jacob:
Yes, it is much easier for me to assign a cluster of spirit animals to another human and then derive their values from their spirit animals rather than vice-versa. For example, in terms of myself, my most frequent neurochemical states cause me to choose The Monkey as my primary spirit animal with primarily juvenile masculine energy. Then it's like I am observing The Monkey or a stereotypical juvenile male in order to determine, "Oh, I must value Freedom and Curiosity, because that is how a monkey or Tom Sawyer behaves."
If I saw a human who was always compulsively tidying, their movements would remind me of a bird, so The Sparrow might be their spirit animal in the adult feminine quadrant, and their associated values might be Order and Persistence. If I observe a human frequently telling other humans what they shouldn't do then their spirit animal in the adult masculine quadrant might be The German Shepherd, and their values might be Conformity, Safety, and Authority. etc. etc.
@ducknald_don:
Yes, but self-aware choosing Conformity as one of your top 6 values out of 58 possibilities is somewhat different, because you are idealizing it even more than manifesting it.
ETA: At this juncture in my life, my top 6 and bottom 6 values off the list of 58 possibilities are:
TOP: Adventure, Caring, Creativity, Curiosity, Freedom, Pleasure
BOTTOM: Conformity, Humility, Industry, Power, Romance, Safety
ETA2: Asking an AI for possible goals congruent with my Top 6 was okay, but kind of boring or as expected. Asking an AI for possible goals anti-congruent with my Bottom 6 was much more interesting and on point.
Yes, it is much easier for me to assign a cluster of spirit animals to another human and then derive their values from their spirit animals rather than vice-versa. For example, in terms of myself, my most frequent neurochemical states cause me to choose The Monkey as my primary spirit animal with primarily juvenile masculine energy. Then it's like I am observing The Monkey or a stereotypical juvenile male in order to determine, "Oh, I must value Freedom and Curiosity, because that is how a monkey or Tom Sawyer behaves."
If I saw a human who was always compulsively tidying, their movements would remind me of a bird, so The Sparrow might be their spirit animal in the adult feminine quadrant, and their associated values might be Order and Persistence. If I observe a human frequently telling other humans what they shouldn't do then their spirit animal in the adult masculine quadrant might be The German Shepherd, and their values might be Conformity, Safety, and Authority. etc. etc.
@ducknald_don:
Yes, but self-aware choosing Conformity as one of your top 6 values out of 58 possibilities is somewhat different, because you are idealizing it even more than manifesting it.
ETA: At this juncture in my life, my top 6 and bottom 6 values off the list of 58 possibilities are:
TOP: Adventure, Caring, Creativity, Curiosity, Freedom, Pleasure
BOTTOM: Conformity, Humility, Industry, Power, Romance, Safety
ETA2: Asking an AI for possible goals congruent with my Top 6 was okay, but kind of boring or as expected. Asking an AI for possible goals anti-congruent with my Bottom 6 was much more interesting and on point.