How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

How to pass, fit in, eventually set an example, and ultimately lead the way.
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fiby41
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by fiby41 »

Launch like Matreyoshka dolls, each upcomming generation nested inside the previous one.

7Wannabe5
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

fiby41 wrote:Launch like Matreyoshka dolls, each upcomming generation nested inside the previous one.
The ovum model rather than the sperm model. One thing that amuses/bemuses me about more libertarian philosophy is its tendency towards something like "denial of the ovum." Like they were not among those born with a wobbly neck and a soft sweet smelling spot on their head. Like an observation along the lines of "I didn't contract to be born" makes even a speck of sense.

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fiby41
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by fiby41 »

@7w5: Out of curiosity, what is the sperm model?

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Jean
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by Jean »

my parents paid for my "needs" expense during college, and i paid for my "wants".
I had to pass my years for the deal to keep going, and for some unknown reason, it was important for me to keep the rent and the health insurance as low as possible. Probably because my dad made being savy look cool to me :D
One downside, is that i graduated because school was easy to me, and not because i was made for an engineering career, which led me to fail at finding a job after my degree.
It took me several years to accept the sunken cost of it.

One advice would be to have your kids test how reallist their career plan is.

7Wannabe5
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@fiby41:

Well, the human egg is the largest human cell at .2 mm and only one human egg is developed to maturity per month. OTOH, the human sperm is the smallest cell in the human body at .05 mm in length and .005 mm in width of head, and the average post-pubescent male human produces approximately 1500 sperm to maturity every second of the day, or around 4 billion per month = approximately 20-40 ejaculations at 200-100 million sperm per ejaculation. Females are born with all the eggs they will ever produce; in fact a female human fetus already has all immature egg cells it will ever have (thus, nesting doll model.) Male adults constantly produce new sperm in their testicles, and across primate species the size of testicles relative to body size is proportional to sexual promiscuity of species. Human sperm is motile, and has to fight its way through the defenses produced by the female cervix to prevent infection/invasion by dangerous elements and the three layers surrounding the human egg. Each sperm comes loaded with chemicals to break through the layers protecting the egg, and a spike on its head which is used to puncture a hole as the tail of the sperm thrashes it forward.

Therefore, the sperm model would be to kick the little buggers out as soon as possible and let them battle for survival on the basis of their own personal agency.

delay
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by delay »

Few college graduates work in the field they were educated for. I remember it was only civil and chemical engineering where the majority ended up finding work in their chosen field. In physics it was less than 5%. At least here in The Netherlands, any degree is an admission ticket for any higher level job.
Jean wrote:
Mon Jul 01, 2024 7:59 am
One advice would be to have your kids test how reallist their career plan is.
How would you test for that?

mathiverse
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by mathiverse »

delay wrote:
Wed Jul 03, 2024 5:49 am
How would you test for that?
An internship or apprenticeship in the field would often work well enough.

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Jean
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by Jean »

I don't know. My degree was worthless to me in the end, it wasn't an admission ticket to anything, and it has been used as an excuse to justify not hiring me a few times.

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Sclass
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by Sclass »

I had a similar problem with my education. It was a golden ticket to nowhere. I looked good with my shiny new Stanford degrees but to anybody who really needed to actually do something of significance I was useless.

I’m not sure what to tell younger people just starting out. I see a lot of human capital wasted on the hunger games style admissions process nowadays. It looks kind of misguided. You have a bunch of loser gatekeepers making the kids do really difficult tricks to satisfy admissions requirements. Tricks that kill the mind. My feeling is the pursuit further kills the intellect and condemns the acolyte to a lifetime of servitude for diminishing rewards.

When I talk about ERE which I believe can be independent of formal elite education I’m usually scolded for giving the young people dangerous ideas. If I talk too much I may discourage them.

I like the movie Time Cop where the evil politician uses a Time Machine to go back and help his younger self but spends a good part of the dialog scolding the younger for being so weak. Sometimes I wish I could go back and have a nice little chat with young Sclass and break down what worked and what didn’t work.

Perhaps this can be found in older people. But my experience asking old timers is some of the critical parameters like employment, real estate costs and entitlements have radically changed over our lifetimes. So I guess it’s going to have to be the Time Machine.

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Jean
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by Jean »

If i had advice for a younger me 20 years ago, that would be to study to be a vet, because there are a lot of girls there, and vets can ve independant and get work.very easily.
The downside of being vet is easy access to a painless suicide.
So maybe my advice would be to do an apprenticeship to be an electrician, save a lot of money, and retire at 25 to go to vet school when youth suicidal thought are behind.
But since youth suicidal thought appear when there is no more plan, maybe giving yourself a plan would lead to have those thought later, when your friend moved away, and then you are more likely to act on them, so it's maybe better to waste time an money to be out of plan quickly?

The real wish would be to transfer my actual brain in my 2001 15 years old self :D

ertyu
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by ertyu »

I didn't end up directly using my MA in Econ, but the fact that I had it definitely helped when I was spinning my wheels - e.g. when I was burnt out and going insane and got fired from two jobs in a row and took a year and a half off which, thankfully, i could excuse w covid (second firing and time off). I was rehired in my past line of work despite misgivings over my patchy CV partly on the strength of how I looked on paper. Without the MA degree, my current teaching gig wouldn't be possible, and that would have been bad. The degree definitely allowed me access to opportunities with comfortable pay (for local standards) and ample free time.

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Lemur
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by Lemur »

Maybe I'd tell 18 year old me to get a liscense to drive a backhoe or something. The people in my town are willing to pay thousands of dollars just to level dirt for their lawns.

Western Red Cedar
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by Western Red Cedar »

My advice to any young person in this situation is think about the specific job you want, then work backwards from there to determine what to study. After getting a couple ideas of what job/career you want, find some people who actually do that job and figure out what their daily, weekly, and monthly schedules look like. Informational interviews are extremely helpful, and professionals are often generous with their time if a young person actually demonstrates initiative and preparation.

Also, taking a year or two to work and get some life experience can be a great motivator to actually go to college and take it seriously. It might be also create an opportunity to establish residency somewhere to access quality public schools.

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Ego
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by Ego »

Old man story...

We were walking through a plaza in Madrid this afternoon and passed an American couple sitting at a cafe. The thirtysomething guy was facetiming or skyping his mother. Her nose occupied half the screen as she told him all of the places they must visit in the city. The guy's wife was sitting just behind the phone, rolling her eyes at her mother-in-law's suggestions. I could hear in the mother's voice her excitement of revisiting Madrid, this time virtually with her son and his wife.

We walked along in silence for a while and I tried to remember if I had called home at all during the year we were traveling in Europe thirty years ago. A few minutes later, as if continuing my thought, Mrs. Ego said, "I'm happy we didn't have Skype when we were traveling in the van back then."

I knew exactly what she meant. It wasn't that our parents would have interfered or been obnoxious. We all got along remarkably well.

Moments like that remind me of just how different it was to travel back then. We picked up mail at American Express offices in Athens and Rome, and we sent a bunch of post cards. Very few people spoke English and while cable news existed in high end hotels, I do not remember seeing it while traveling. In most major cities there was a news agent that resold the day-old newspapers and magazines that were discards from the international flights, and if we got our hands on one we would read the entire paper, including the ads and classifieds. There was always the International Herald Tribune, which was so expensive that we would only glance at the headlines in the display.

But, for the most part, there was a feeling that we were very far away. If an emergency happened at home, our lack of a fixed schedule made it so that they could not contact us beyond leaving word at an American Express office. If something happened to us, as it did, we had to solve it ourselves.

There are so many wonderful advantages to the connectedness we have today, but there was a burn-the-boats, sink-or-swim feel to being together alone far from home, back then.

We would be a very different couple had we not had that experience.

Hristo Botev
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Re: How did you launch from your parents/family? How did you launch your dependents?

Post by Hristo Botev »

sodatrain wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2024 3:40 pm
Fun prompt for a thread; admittedly I haven't read through all the other answers yet.
  • Left home at 18 for college out of state, which was paid for by my parents (though I had some scholarship money, not much). I worked throughout college, but that was just for beer money.
  • Peace Corps after college, through which I swapped out my parents as my benefactors for the U.S. government.
  • I probably really "launched" (poorly) after I returned to the States at 25; moved to a big city and worked for an NGO and taught English. I was on my own and managed to build up some credit card debt; nothing crazy, but a few thousand dollars for stupid stuff I didn't need.
  • Married at 27; started law school at 28; lived mostly on student loans and built up 6 figures in student loan debt.
  • Started my legal career at 31; first kid at 32; student loan debt (from grad school) paid off at 37 (IIRC).
  • My in-laws have helped us out financially by (a) paying for the wedding, (b) loaning us money at 3.5% to help with a couple home purchases, and (c) paying for big family beach trips each year.
  • I expect decent size inheritances from both my dad and my in-laws, but we certainly don't think we are entitled to that nor have we based any future plans on those expectations.
Looking back at this I consider myself to have been a very late bloomer. It helped to be an "older" law school student, as my grades were better than they would have been right out of college. But those benefits probably had more to do with being married than just being older. I'd probably have been better off getting married much earlier and having kids much earlier. It wasn't until I had a wife and kids that I got serious about being an adult.

As for my own kids, one starting high school and the other starting middle school, we expect to pay for their college, their weddings, and we'd love to be able to help them buy their first homes (and possibly just give them each a home). I also fully plan to continue working (in some capacity) for quite some time, even after they finish college and start their own lives, with an aim towards building up some multi-generational wealth and their inheritances. There is certainly a world in which I could look at my numbers now and say that we are FI; we've got enough that applying some 4% rule magical thinking we could say we're good, and the kids' 529 accounts should be sufficiently funded. But I'd never take the risk of actually following through on an "early" retirement; there's just too much that can and likely will go sideways between now and when I cross over the Jordan.

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