Me too. Full-time jobs drain all of my energy and fill the best parts of the day and do not allow me to do the things I want to do and.... a hundred other reasons. I absolutely hated them.
Something I learned early on helped me to deal with it. My guess is that you also learned it in a round-about way from your aerial adventure job. It has to do with safety nets. At some point, regardless of how well they are maintained, safety nets all disintegrate eventually.
The trick is to get good enough to not need the safety net before it is gone.
Back before my net was gone, I was fortunate to live in a place where people where arriving with nothing. They had no net. No language skills. No friends. No right to work. A constant fear that they would be caught and sent back. I was amazed by how differently they saw the same full-time job.
Imagining the world through their eyes actually changed me.
It may be painful, but imagine a future where your parents will not be there to catch you when you fall. That day will eventually come. You will have to function with only the strengths, skills and networks you built.
Once you internalize that future reality, get busy.