Tips for toddlers?

[Salathor]

I’m surprised by the number of suggestions to potty train. Is this a generational thing? I’ve always assumed that would be a thing we’d do. I’ve heard of kids not taking well to it or having accidents, but not of parents not attempting it during toddlerhood.

We tried to encourage (very lightly, didn't push it too hard) our older daughter *when she wanted to* but I think it was still too young and it took a while to take. In retrospect I would prob just bring her into the bathroom with us when we're going and she'd see how adults do it and want to also. That's basically what the younger ones do. Every 'second' child I know self-potty-trained by watching their older siblings, absolutely no muss and no forcing anything.

Never say "I'm the parent, that's why." If you don't know why, don't make it a rule. The only exceptions in our house are when it's a judgment call--I want to go for a walk as a family and one of the girls doesn't want to. Why are we going? Because I'm the dad and I get to decide what we do as a family and I want us to go out and get exercise together. I do not use this excuse for why we need to eat certain foods (they're good for you, etc), why we don't get certain Christmas presents (a tamagotchi is basically training for a phone, I didn't think that was healthy for you), why we don't watch too much TV (movies/shows should be a special treat, but watching too much takes time away from pursuits we feel are more valuable), etc.

Kids learn from what you do, but it's also important for yourself to be able to articulate why you are parenting the way you are. As your kid gets older, they will sometimes point out an inconsistency in your policies. If she can articulate this or point out that I can't come up with a good reason for something, I'm willing to reconsider.

Don't promise what you can't deliver. I am big on "we'll try to do X today, but I can't promise." I can't think of a single instance where I promised to do something for/with my daughters that I have not done. Whatever happens, my daughters will know that a father should keep their word to their children.

Apologize when you do wrong. In the heat of the moment it's hard, but I'll go in at night sometimes and apologize to my daughter, saying, "I'm sorry for the way X turned out today. I was frustrated because of situation Y and didn't parent as well as I'd hoped."