![Wink ;)](./images/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif)
I'm approaching this advice from a traditional marriage, one man, one woman, monogamy (I have no clue or interest on how multiple partners would or could work)* but I can't see why it wouldn't work for gay couples.
We dated for 5 years before we got married. And we waited for four years before we had our first child after marriage. These are two huge reasons why we are still together, I am not exaggerating. In those 5 years before we married, we had some spectacular blow-ups that clearly defined where each of us stood on issues and what was acceptable behavior and what was a deal-breaker. We probably could have been more mature about getting to these conclusions but neither of us had any illusions about what we were getting into before it was made official. And we have never really fought much since then, almost 30 years ago. I'm not advocating you necessarily argue about anything, just have the difficult discussions (this requires time spent together for a while) before those cute wedding invitations are sent out.
Now for the easy advice: respect your partner. This means that you control your behavior that would have been possibly? acceptable when still a single person. You are married now. Do not be inappropriate with the opposite sex, do not do activities that could lead to bad outcomes, such as abusing alcohol, I would include drugs here also, and being around "certain" people that will tempt you into doing stupid shit. And don't ever bad-mouth your partner in front of other people or god-forbid a public site such as Facebook, do people still use Facebook? Whatever is current. Something that always grounded me was asking myself: " How would this make me feel if my wife were doing it?" If it feels not cool, it's probably not cool for your partner too.
Now for the hard part: you have to develop patience and a long term view of everything. This is critical for your marriage and especially if you choose to have children. What is even more critical is that both of you are rock solid in that relationship before the kids come along. DO NOT have children if the relationship is not stable. Children will only exacerbate unresolved problems. Visualize having an impaired child with your partner. Is everybody going to step up to the plate? That should sober you up to possible realities. Having children is not for sissies, it's fucking terrifying at times. Ultimately, it is worth the risk but you had better put your big boy pants on for the ride.
O.K., my larger point in that cheerful scenario
![Wink ;)](./images/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif)
Ultimately the one thing that always works if applied is that both people are actively trying to make the others life more enjoyable. This will never happen equally in effort or time or difficulty (which reminds me of people wanting to split everything equitably, as if equity exists) but if each person is looking out for the best interests of the other you can't help but be content and successful as a couple. Just don't look for it in every transaction, just look for the overall theme.
* your situation may differ, god speed