https://medium.com/redhill-review/navig ... o%20answer.
I suspect that my husband and mother grew up in guess cultures.
My dad grew up in ask culture as did I and my offspring.
What to me is interesting about ask and guess is that the culture switch with geography can be pretty tight and then it can change again.
Very interesting. I think that I am likely some worst of both ask/guess culture variation due to mixed message that the ideal I should fulfill would be something like "gentlewoman lawyer" or "lady-like winner." I imagine a sort of continuum along the lines of: Grab/Demand/Ask/Ask Politely/Suggest/Hint/Smile with some other verbs such as Seduce, Charm, and Cajole, in the mix. Also, there should be a word to describe the sort of behavior Kramer demonstrates in Seinfeld, when he just walks into Jerry's apartment and starts eating his cereal without asking, but also without taking a dominant stance; just blithe, cheerful ignorance of the concept of private property.
@LI Interesting frame of ask versus guess to view direct versus indirect communication! Again there is some middle ground in there. I prefer to add another dimension of healthy versus unhealthy defined as people’s needs being met and personal responsibility for what belongs to each individual to reach something mutually fulfilling, reciprocal, and dynamic. Guessing simply is not very accurate or efficient, while asking can be egocentric and assuming.
My family of original were mostly guessers with the exception of my maternal grandmother (my role model) who was balanced but toward the asking (as am I). My spouse’s family are guessers and he continues to use that strategy quite unsuccessfully. Our son is more like myself. I notice that being at an extreme end for communication style creates a lot of misery and is correlated with addictive behaviors.
@7W5 Emotionally immature?
Yes, that might describe it, although I would suggest that Kramer has both healthy "child-like" and unhealthy "childish" aspects to his behavior. I would also note that one of my previous partners once described me as being like Kramer/Elaine to his Jerry/George, so my take might be a bit defensive
In general, I think there is a rough dichotomy between humans who are more balanced Adult feminine/Juvenile masculine vs. those who are more balanced Adult masculine/Juvenile feminine. Neither is necessarily more emotionally mature, but they are differently emotionally mature. Highest functioning, most self-aware humans would be more well-balanced, able to fluidly adjust behavior in all 4 quadrants.
https://shagbark.substack.com/p/speech- ... ing-102623
Some relevant passages:
Perhaps there is a sort of “horseshoe theory” regarding place. At one end of the spectrum, the provincial man, rusticated by so many seasons in place, wields his four horizons as a sort of meta-geographical ship, wandering the waters of the world from his front porch. He sails the metaphysical tradewinds with his Rosary in hand as he prays for the world, or at his library desk, composing letters to his compatriots worldwide – always on display as the quintessential man of his place. Like an oak tree, he is thoroughly the product of his environs, and yet for it, he is somehow worldwide. Perhaps in so saying, I am remembering my great-grandmother, who eschewed travel in favor of watching the Travel Channel and later praying for the conversion of whoever lived in the featured nations during her nightly divine office.
A simple study of Nomadic peoples seems to show that most nomads hardly traveled very far in a year’s time. They generally moved to “halting grounds”, each suited to the season’s weather, and each a regular “haunt” – a term I find interesting given the possibility that one might be leaving some of their soul everywhere they depart from. In nearly 200,000 years of conjectured anthropological history of nomads, no known tribes have utilized planes, trains, automobiles, or diesel-powered ships for their primary mode of transit. Virtually all have walked, ridden animals, or canoed.
And so, in closing, I think it wise to state that localism and nomadism are not really at odds. So long as those with a nomadic impulse choose to gratify the urge to move within real and meaningful limits, they would not only edify their lives but decorate the region they hearken from as living ornaments of an ancient human tradition. Traveling a tight range, in a seasonally appropriate manner and chiefly by foot, or perhaps horseback or canoe, would yield a genuinely human nomadism. Barring these simple recommendations, I find it difficult to imagine a lasting, multi-generational nomadism in North America.
My ideal life would involve rotating between 2-3 residences per year, each in a different country / culture. But that would cost too much for an early-retirement-extreme budget, so I will probably limit myself to language lessons and the occasional overseas holiday.
Interesting.J_ wrote: ↑Sun Feb 04, 2024 3:39 am@conwy. I do rotate 2-3 residences per year as I wrote in this thread. Yes the (running) costs are higher than only one residence. I have serial owned 7 residences in 3 different countries in the last 24 years. Now I own still 2 (the third I rent for the period I am there). The capital gains on the sold 5 residences is still higher than all the costs for using them and are still enough for continuing with the 2-3 for a decade.
I'm reluctant to get into property ownership, even in my country of origin, as I'm concerned about maintenance costs, taxes, etc.
But I like the idea of, say, long-term renting a small room in 2-3 countries, then bouncing between the rooms. I could crash in one of the rooms after a long flight and then use it as a home-base while travelling within the region. It's not necessarily cheaper than getting a hotel, but the nice thing is the convenience of being able to just come and go and not having to book in advance as with a hotel.
I have chosen those three in such a way that I can easily reach them by public transport. (walk, train, airplane, train or bus), and all have groceries on walking distance. So I do not need a car at all. And all have (different) nature on the doorstep.conwy wrote: ↑Sun Feb 04, 2024 12:35 pmI could crash in one of the rooms after a long flight and then use it as a home-base while travelling within the region. It's not necessarily cheaper than getting a hotel, but the nice thing is the convenience of being able to just come and go and not having to book in advance as with a hotel.
Another convenience is having clothing and a stocked pantry in the two of the residences I own. The rented one is in a warm climate, I do not need much clothing. So I can travel very light between the three.
(by the way I have (serial) owned two residences in Cornwall, the country of your origin)
In Mexico she lives in a small single family house. In Colorado she has a travel trailer and a part time job as a campground host. The Colorado location was one she had camped in for many years before
Anyway she lives the two familiar places model and was doing in such a way that is was pretty attainable for people at near ERE means.
OT She also helped facilitate our lodging last night. She introduced us to a couple with an Airbnb in her neighborhood. We visited and talked directly to them and ended up seeing on the platform but paying for it directly. They made $50 on a last minute rental with people that made almost no mess. We got $25 off the price of renting directly. Social capital isn’t always with people who have known each other for years on end.
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 8:38 pm
Location: USA, Zone 5b, Koppen Dfa, Elev. 620ft, Walkscore 77
Camping in state parks for state residents is often very inexpensive IFF you don't reserve and pay cash. IIRC, our usual pick is $11/night for a site w/o water or electricity. Given the two-week limit, which I suspect is not a hard rule, you'd just need to rotate between two of those.
Yes, but throwing ownership of a vacant lot or two into the mix allows for maintenance of a garden/permaculture project which could provide food, firewood, other natural resources, and likely some amount of storage space. Even the smallest storage locker you can rent costs more than the property tax on a small rural lot where nobody would care if you left any number of locked down Rubbermaid type (or more attractive Amish wood-type)containers or tiny shed. So, in theory, you could have many of the work-spaces/recreational facilities to be found in a 3000 sq ft McMansion with large garage, each sealed/locked down in an independent "tool kit" on your vacant lot(s.) So, your camper would be like the classic base of elements you could wear to yoga class, and your modules would provide the top layers/accessories for whatever lifestyle variations you might prefer; boat house, sewing room, root cellar, solar charging station, gaming hell...
Good idea too, actually rotating every 2 weeks generally seems like a good way to minimise costs and stay within the law.jacob wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2024 10:32 amCamping in state parks for state residents is often very inexpensive IFF you don't reserve and pay cash. IIRC, our usual pick is $11/night for a site w/o water or electricity. Given the two-week limit, which I suspect is not a hard rule, you'd just need to rotate between two of those.