Lifestyle Design Question

[Hannah]

Hey everyone! I'm trying to get my head around how to design my life to one that fits more closely with an ERE lifestyle. I've been trying to clearly organise what's on my mind and come up with some solutions, although I'm aware the solution might be to just 'keep going', but I thought this forum would be the perfect place to share.

So, here's some information...

About Me
I'm in my late 30s, living in the UK with my husband and our lovely daughter. We're in a ‘nice’ area a small 3-bed bungalow that's worth about £500k. Most properties where live cost at least double this.

What’s Going On with My Finances
My Car: I have a car that I’m going sell for around £12k. I just need to help persuade my husband.
Monthly Spending: After selling the car, I’ll be down to about £1,200 per month in personal expenses.
Hubby's Work: My husband is a real trooper. He's juggling 3 part-time jobs, some self-employed work, AND a part-time PhD. He's also saving about 50% of his income for our mortgage.
My Work: I make around £1,300 per month working from home. I’ve got two clients, although most of my income comes from just one. I don’t earn much, as a lot of the time I am working on other projects one with a business partner and one of my own projects. These will pay off in long term, but in the short term they will not give me an income for about a year.

Mortgage
The Dreaded Mortgage: Owe about £123k. I hate having a mortgage. I have looked at alternative living arrangements but can’t seem to come up with a good enough alternative. The interest rate is currently very low, but this will expire in April 2025. When we renew the mortgage will be less, our monthly payments are likely to be higher.
Life After Mortgage: If we can eliminate the mortgage and switch to a more ERE lifestyle, I think we'd only need about £700 each per month each.

My Current Day
Outside of my work, this leaves me looking after our young daughter (when she is not at school), doing admin, cleaning, food shopping, cooking, etc. By the end of the day, I feel like I’ve rushed around and wondered where the day has gone. Sometimes we pay for services or have takeaways to save on time (in the short term). I know by taking on a lifestyle that aligns with ERE, I need the head space to create my new life.

What’s On My Mind
The thing I’m finding difficult is the balance of my time. My ideal day would be not to do client work, do a few hours a day on my projects, then the rest of the day I can spend time with my family, learn to cook good food, fix the house up, get super fit and learn new skills etc.
At the moment, I’m not even bothered about coming FI, if I could earn ‘enough’ to cover expenses and have some left over to invest/save, that would be perfect. This would enable me to do a bit of work, and then live an ERE lifestyle. The client work is good for the short term, but it takes up a lot of time, takes me away from bigger projects which have a longer-term gain, and I don’t particularly enjoy the client work. The problem I’m trying to navigate how to get there as quickly as possible.

[chenda]

With £377 000 worth of equity you could still live in a nice area, but presumably not the current area you are in. So perhaps the question is do you want to relocate and take young daughter out of school and be mortgage free ? Or work to eliminate/reduce the mortgage over the next few years by maximising your earnings ? As the mortgage is relative modest and you appear to have high earning potential I'd lean towards the latter...

[Western Red Cedar]

It sounds like you already have things dialed in quite well. You could certainly pursue options like car-free living or relocation to speed up the process to financial independence, and that might even result in overall lifestyle improvements. Of course, you'd want to make sure your partner and family are on board with those changes.

Mortgage
The Dreaded Mortgage: Owe about £123k. I hate having a mortgage. I have looked at alternative living arrangements but can’t seem to come up with a good enough alternative. The interest rate is currently very low, but this will expire in April 2025. When we renew the mortgage will be less, our monthly payments are likely to be higher.
Life After Mortgage: If we can eliminate the mortgage and switch to a more ERE lifestyle, I think we'd only need about £700 each per month each....

The problem I’m trying to navigate how to get there as quickly as possible.

I suppose the questions I'd ask you are why do you hate having a mortgage so much? Why do you need to get there as quickly as possible? What's the rush? Is there a middle path with the mortgage where you don't necessarily pay it off by 2025, but perhaps within the next five years or so?

I see a pattern with financial independence where people get really excited, make drastic changes, and quickly burn out because the life they are crafting isn't sustainable. There is some advantage to making radical changes, but in situations where a larger family unit is involved sometimes more moderate changes are okay too. It sounds like your husband is already stretched pretty thin.

In short, make sure you enjoy the ride and don't burn out in the process.

[ertyu]

Could you "outsource" some of the client work? Eg find workers from the philippines on fivrr or some such for part of the tasks. You will be sacrificing income, but this will free up time for you to direct your efforts to your own projects and getting those to take off as fast as possible. This might pay for itself in the long run. It might pay for itself in the short run, too, especially if it makes you more able to "not order the thing" and make it yourself because you're not so tired at the end of the day

[Dream of Freedom]

What’s On My Mind
The thing I’m finding difficult is the balance of my time. My ideal day would be not to do client work, do a few hours a day on my projects, then the rest of the day I can spend time with my family, learn to cook good food, fix the house up, get super fit and learn new skills etc.
At the moment, I’m not even bothered about coming FI, if I could earn ‘enough’ to cover expenses and have some left over to invest/save, that would be perfect. This would enable me to do a bit of work, and then live an ERE lifestyle. The client work is good for the short term, but it takes up a lot of time, takes me away from bigger projects which have a longer-term gain, and I don’t particularly enjoy the client work. The problem I’m trying to navigate how to get there as quickly as possible.

You might be able to streamline some tasks to free up a bit of time.

Some of the things on your perfect day list seem obtainable right now. Make the most of the time you are with family. Learning to cook? It's not that hard to try a new recipe or play with spices and you're cooking either way. Getting fit? Sounds like you're taking a step toward that now by ditching the car. What can you do right now to bring your days closer to your ideal? You probably can't fire the clients just yet, but any little nudge you can give it would help.

[ertyu]

... could some of the above be combined? learn how to make a new food while making it a family activity where everyone dices things and cleans lentils? combine fix house/get fit/family time as well?

[Dream of Freedom]

Going shopping? Take kiddo. On the way over do something memorable. Maybe tell her a story from your past or introduce her to a different genre of music every time. Or you could pair cleaning with skill acquisition. You can listen to audiobooks and even lectures while doing mundane tasks.

[berrytwo]

Sounds like, in many ways, you are asking the right questions. If you haven't already, have a deep dive in learning about Web of Goals (wog) and/ or GTD (Get Things Done.) These frameworks have been really helpful for me in balancing complexity in life and increasing ease.