Rube's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
DutchGirl
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by DutchGirl »

How is your life, Rube? Your daughter returned from her trip now, I think. And I hope your father is doing as well as is possible.

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

Thanks DG and indeed, DD returned, she had the greatest time of her life. Dad is doing relatively well. We spend a whole week with them early August and will again end of August. A longer update will follow later.

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

A lot has happened in August, a brief update and some of the details I am willing to share: we cancelled our first flight and part of the trip we had planned. Instead we spend a lot (more) time with my parents in August, we visited friends and relatives with them and I talked with about the practical matters of "the end". Thanks to ere we were able to spend time with them, without the worry of a job etc.
We said (good)bye to them 2 days ago, which was harder as I expected. Basically all of this is harder as a I thought, perhaps I am/was naïve, or it is just me getting older, or perhaps because we don't know when we will be back and how my dad will be at that moment. We're now at an airport, waiting for our flight which will be the start of the foreign part of our trip. I am looking forward to the trip, but it feels also....bittersweet?
I probably should (or will automatically) take this life experience as lesson regarding emotions, psychology etc.
We'll be starting with a roadtrip in the south west of the USA and thereafter the plan is to go to Mexico. We do not date to plan too far ahead though, maximum about a week at the moment.
Hope everyone is doing okay.
Last edited by rube on Sat Oct 01, 2022 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

DutchGirl
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by DutchGirl »

I wish you good travels, Rube. And I hope that things will turn out okay(-ish).

Western Red Cedar
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by Western Red Cedar »

Wishing you well through the interwebs Rube. I just heard an interview with Susan Cain yesterday about her new book. It might be of interest based on what you are dealing with right now: https://susancain.net/book/bittersweet/#

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

Thanks DG, WRC. I haven't checked out the book yet, maybe I will at a later stage.

Quick update: September was a month of a lot of traveling. We saw a lot, enjoyed it very much, spend a lot....We visited many national parks and a few cities in the Southwest of the USA and headed thereafter to Mexico city. Since my father's health declined rapidly we decided to go back to them and stop our traveling for now. The aim is to continue our traveling at a later stage again, we'll have to see how things go and take it week by week. When we continue, it will probably more ere/slow traveling style as we did so far.

During the traveling I did meetup with some former colleagues, which was nice. Several of them asked me to come back to the company to follow up the current head of the department who will retire next year. I thought about it and I see a few practical challenges, but the idea also excites me, like an adventure. Not sure if the company would consider me though, how long I would like it, but I have said I would be interested. I'll probably contact the current head (my previous manager) somewhere the coming weeks to let him know and see what he says. Am I crazy to reconsider to go back to work so quickly? Maybe, but not so many cons, i.e. if I don't like it I quit and the pros would be a nice adventure (living largely abroad/lots of paid traveling) and extremely well paid.

Many other things....but main focus for the current days are my family, my father. Again I am glad that we were able to return in time, don't need to think at this point about time or money (i.e. work).

DutchGirl
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by DutchGirl »

I'm glad your family and you had a great time together travelling, but also that you were able to return on time, Rube. I wish there were words for this precious time with your father, a time that is also very sad and stressful perhaps. Sterkte.

simplex
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by simplex »

Here's a reading suggestion: A guide to the good life, by W. Irvine. It touches on death, and also on having children and giving attention to them.

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

Thanks DG, Simplex.

Many things and emotions in the last 2 weeks. Upon our return, we were able to spend a full week with my dad before he passed away. The funeral was as nice as a funeral can be, it was a beautiful sunny autumn day.
I am grateful we, DW, DD, DS and I, were able to be with my dad this whole time.
It also brought close family back which I hadn't seen a long time (some even never). Too bad it took soooo long and this had to happen before we saw them again, but regrets won't help, so better looking what we have now.

The next couple of weeks we will stay at home, helping my mom with things that needs to be done, spending more time together with family, think about the travel plans and make arrangements etc. We'll probably continue our traveling in a couple of weeks again.
Right now I am taking it slow and not demanding too much from myself as these last 2.5 months were a rollercoaster in experiences on many levels, I'll give my mind some time to reflect, digest, process or whatever it is that needs to be done.

DutchGirl
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by DutchGirl »

My condolences for the passing of your father. Sterkte and good luck to your mother for finding her bearing without him. Of course that can take a lot of time, but I hope she will manage over time.

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

Thanks DG.

I receive "The Red Hand Files" from Nick Cave per email now for a while.
His writing is poetic and frequently touches me deep.
Last week he answered to this question from a reader:
I'm 62 years old and decided to learn how to play guitar. Rock guitar. Is such an endeavour a fool's errand for someone of my age?

I thought his reply is connected to ERE in that time and (artistic) value are very different than that from the general view.
His answer is here: https://www.theredhandfiles.com/learn-h ... ay-guitar/

We're in MX now, probably staying here for 2 months in total.

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

Posting the above update made me realized that last month was my 10-year anniversary at the ERE forum.
I forgot about this due to all what happened last month, but wow, 10 years. On one hand, it is already 10 years, on the other hand, I have been able to realize much more than I ever could have imagine.

DutchGirl
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by DutchGirl »

Very moving story/advice from Nick Cave, Rube.

You're still in Mexico? Are things going well - or as well as they can be with the recent loss of your father? Are you doing any sports or particular activities? And what about your wife and kids, have they found things they like to do as well?

You did accomplish a lot in those ten years, and I hope you're now harvesting the fruits of your labor. I hope your family enjoys themselves as well. Hopefully creating precious memories. And I'm sure the weather is nicer - here in the NL the last two weeks have been very grey, with some drizzle all the time, it's dark very early, and the temperature is hovering at that "uncomfortably cold, but not winter/snow/ice cold" level. Just blegh. If Sinterklaas wasn't gracing us with his presence and his presents this time of year, it would for sure be the least favorite time of the year for me. ;-)

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

Hi DG and others, yes, still in Mexico and things are going well! I am feeling ok, my mom seems to be okay as well.
We're taking Spanish classes, cooking workshops, dancing classes, enjoying ourselves strolling around the city, looking at the beautiful colonial buildings, sit down in one of the many parks, reading a book and looking at the people passing by and general streetlife. Walking daily to the bakery around the corner, getting delicious advocados and other local fruits from the market. And just chilling in the apartment. The weather is very nice here, around 30 degrees celcius, hardly any rain, though I just got caught in a very heavy tropic thunderstorm. Oh well, just a nice real shower after I got "home" and all is well again!
In a couple of days we'll leave this city which was our home for 4 weeks, to get around and visit some other places with a rental car. End of december we'll fly to Asia, to the country of @fiby41 to be exactly. DW and I have been to the south part many years ago, this time we're going to the north.

And, don't tell the retirement police, but maybe I go back working..... it is still in early stages so I won't elaborate for now.

Financially, I haven't kept track of the exact expenses since July. I want to but....too many other things, small laptop screen now and other excuses. I will do it later though, I think. I kept track of total NW every now and then though. Conclusion: nothing worryingly, so ok to continue as we do for now.

We'll miss the Sinterklaas and Christmas time with family. But oh well, I don't really care, DW does though but can't have it all!! Enjoy Sinterklaas, your time off and I am curious how you will like your new job (I'm sure I'll read it soon in your journal).

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

We're still in MX, slow(ish) traveling. I did post some observations about nature here viewtopic.php?p=266017#p266017 Basically we saw more of the same last couple of days. Frequently we hear and see the howler monkeys from our window, when we walk in our street. They even wake us up at night! Also more parrots (ara's) we saw flying over and in the trees around us.

We went to a couple of waterfalls. Very nice and relaxing, one of them was not touristic at all. We'll go tomorrow to a new spot where we'll stay for another few days and we'll try to do a guided jungle tour. I am glad we're here in the coolest period, would be too hot for me in spring, summer.

I had some discussions with a property manager. Eventually they admitted their mistake and agreed on a financial compensation. It wasn't too much, too bad, but I wanted them to acknowledge that they made a mistake and should do a better job going forward.

One loan (mortgage) we had given will be paid back before the end of the month. I probably will deploy the money in 2023 in a couple of steps into our portfolio (golden butterfly portfolio adjusted to a local version to optimize it tax wise)

With the latest situation on the housing and rental market, everything comes together in a perfect storm, i.e. new regulations for rentals, higher taxes on rentals, interest rates up. I therefore adjusted the "book value" of our rentals to a more conservative value. As it looks now, it might be better (after 2024) to sell each rental after a renter terminate their contract. We'll see how and when the plans of the government will be implemented exactly. Even with a lower valuation I feel still okay financially.

I mentioned the retirement police in my previous post. I am not there yet, but several steps closer to the situation I might need to watch out for them....It will have a BIG impact on our personal life with certainly some big cons. But it feels like a big challenge and adventure for me that I don't want to miss it (if I can get it). Worst case is I will try for some time and if it doesn't work out I quit and we're back to....well, where we are know plus the experience.

So far my rambling of what we do, see, handle day to day while (slow) traveling.

DutchGirl
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by DutchGirl »

Merry Christmas Rube, even when this year is going to be very different than before.

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

Thanks DG. My mom was luckily well taken care of by friends and other family in our absense during these days. She (and I) are doing quite okay. Only at certain moments, often while hearing a specific songs, it still hit me hard my dad is gone.

During Christmas we were on a beautiful island. Except, the severe weather in North America impacted also our area so there was much rain and wind such that we couldn't really enjoy the beauty and snorkeling wasn't possible. We enjoyed our time nevertheless.
On new year's evening we arrived in India and within 3 hours of arriving a small group of locals asked us to join their private party on the rooftop of our hotel with the music, drinks and snacks they had brought with them, very much an ERE style party! Very welcoming. We'll be here for the next 4 weeks before we move on to other countries in south east Asia.

I was very close to get the job I applied for, but...second thoughts of the company made them decide to not give me an offer after all. I was/am disappointed, but oh well, that's the beauty of ERE, we don't need it and after our travels I have lot's of other things I want to do.

Happy new year to you all!

DutchGirl
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by DutchGirl »

I'm curious how things are, Rube? I hope you all had the best possible time.

rube
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by rube »

All well here. Exactly 3 months in Asia now and currently traveling through our 4th Asian country. We have planned and booked the key flights for the remaining 2 months of our traveling. So far we have experienced in accomodation, food, experiences etc. a range from (very) basic to more luxurious and from very slow traveling to "holiday" speed traveling. If I remember well Jacob once mentioned that traveling didn't interested him so much since most things can be done by just throwing money to it (I know that he changed his view somewhat later).
I agree that if it is just about going from A to B or be able to sleep somewhere, money does the thing most of the cases. But traveling also gives the opportunity to experience things, i.e. smell, see, taste, feel, interact with locals etc. in a way that really can't be done if you are not physical present. And these kind of things give me, us, pleasure, insight, learnings etc. which we couldn't have had otherwise.

The traveling have showed DW and myself that we are no longer in our 20's or 30's, i.e. our bodies have more difficulty to adapt to (too) hard or (too) soft mattrasses etc, while the kids happily tell us that they don't have any issues with mattrasses etc. :roll:
We also have been getting more accustomed to a more luxurious standard than 25 years ago, like getting a grab/uber taxi for a few USD instead of walking 30 minutes in burning sun while being tired, spending a few dollars more to have AC in our rooms and hot water in the shower. Yes, we could walk, see it as a work out and save the money, but I am happily spending in those situations a few extra dollars to keep everybody happy, including or perhaps mostly, myself.

Traveling nowadays, that means compared to 25 years ago when we travelled a longer period for the first time, is often somewhat less romantic and adventurious as most of the information is on the internet, due to the availability of google maps, the uber/grab app, staying in touch with friends and family is being easy etc. On the other hand, that makes it also a bit more comfortable and helps in nobody getting homesick :lol:.

We'll be back home in two months. We have some ideas about some things we want to do, but no big plans yet. We'll see how things develop and go. For the moment we will focus on the next two months to enjoy this with the family.

ertyu
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Re: Rube's journal

Post by ertyu »

sounds cool, glad you guys are aving a good time :)

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