Philippines or Thailand or S. U.S. border

[Seppia]

Yes the bar for men is lower in Asia (sometimes as stated above "he doesn't beat me so that's a win" low).
Which is why I understand so many westerners are drawn towards Asian women - plus they can be absolutely beautiful which doesn't hurt.

[chicago81]

Don't permanently move somewhere abroad, until you've had a chance to live there temporarily for at least a few months.

[jacob]

Don't permanently move somewhere abroad, until you've had a chance to live there temporarily for at least a few months.

+1 When I was looking into it, the recommended advice by various "lets move to X-country"-services was to build a connection by repeated visits and increasingly longer stays over a period of years. E.g. regular vacations to month(s) long stays to second home (not necessarily owned) ... and finally moving one's base.

[Henry]

So I'm wondering if anyone has any pointers for doing something like that -

Don't.

We are roughly the same age and demographic. Let's face some facts. Together. The only women who have interest in us are (a) spending their days making quilts out of their dead husband's Hawaiian shirts (b) hoping that we are not as ugly as Benjamin Franklin because that's who they are thinking about when they don't have to fuck us in a physical way.

I do not see this as ending well. Stay where you are.

[Humanofearth]

You’re coming in likely at least a standard deviation above the average in height, income, stability, and leadership/planning abilities. Don’t overlook your own value.

Id say to do a week or so in various cities/islands: Cebu, Palawan, Siquijor, Dumaguete, etc. Stay where you feel happiest. You get 18 months visa free if you do your extensions and then you’ll have to clear immigration with a security check before flying if you stay over 6 months. You have a freedom to stay as long or short as you want without getting the retirement visa ready beforehand.

In the Philippines, as Seppia hinted at, you’ll very likely create a new family as well as integrate into the family of your partner there. You will be improving lives if you’re present and doing your best. Social demands on you will likely be higher, this has a high chance of increasing your longevity as compared to isolation that is common in the west.

Good luck. Enjoy your trip.

[WFJ]

OP. Are you (or anyone asking for general advice on moving somewhere they've never even been on vacation) familiar with the parable of the blind men and the elephant? One's experience in SE Asia, Latin America, ISS, the Moon, will depend on what part of the elephant you grab. If one is not experienced in "grabbing elephants" they will most likely get the tail and are in for a smelly experience.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_men_and_an_elephant

With all the information on the internet, many still proclaim "That will never happen to me" yet it keeps happening. The scene from Se7en "John Doe has the upper hand" comes to mind explaining the experience of many looking for adventure when exploring developing countries. The other saying is if you sit down to play poker and don't know who the sucker is, it's you.

Visa rules, local rules and how they are enforced in a local area or in each individual case can vary from day to day and person to person, so planning more than a few months in the future is futile. One can buy "Golden Visas" but these usually require significant upfront outlays of capital.

[horsewoman]

My bonus mom is from the Philippines. The last time she needed some official documents in Manila she and my dad had to stand in line for hours at the government agency and pay bribes to officialls to get the documents. Also, she's been back only 3 times in 30 years (money for travelling was never a problem). So it's safe to say she prefers Germany.

I'd like to add that my philipinian mom miraculously turned my dad into a husband that does housework. He didn't do so with a German wife. Just sayin

(Edited for typo)

[chenda]

I've not heard the phrase 'bonus mum' before - I assume its your dad's second wife? : )

[horsewoman]

@chenda - exactly. I don't like "step mom" because there's some negative connotations, and she's so much more to me. Total sweetheart, I love her to bits.
But it's very obvious she's not my bio mum, so I adopted that term. It's pretty common in Germany for patchwork families.

[chenda]

@horsewomen - yes it's a very nice way of describing her. The 'wicked stepmother' has been an overused literary trope which might be where the negative connotations come from. I like the phrase 'patchwork family' too, that's also a new one for me : )

[Henry]

Bonus Mum sounds she was an option when you earned enough Thanksgiving points at the supermarket, and instead of a Turkey, a Ham or a Chicken you went with the Mum.

[horsewoman]

@henry, that's a very transactional way of looking at it.
Step parents and step children often deal with jealously issues, because families get re-arranged, people get "replaced" - at least it often feels that way.
Calling someone a "bonus mum" or a "bonus sister" makes clear that they are added to the existing family. An added bonus instead of an replacement.

But this is wildly off topic in this thread so I propose we put a lid on this discussion.

[Henry]

I thought we were just adding a bonus topic.

[classical_Liberal]

I have the exact same feelings about current US culture as the OP'er.

I highly suggest you look for a culture to fall in love with, before you look for a partner inside of that culture. As frustrating as the state of affairs is in my home country, I still miss my home culture when staying somewhere else for months on end. For me, staying in touch with friends and family from home is enough, but this is not true for others I have met. This is a HUGE issue wrt dating someone from another culture. Standard cultural references may not exist and immediately handicaps any potential relationship. It's like dating someone 20 years older/younger than you (ie an entirely different generation) only 10 times more difficult.

I second (or third) the advice to just go and live for at least a month, maybe a month in several different places within each country you are interested. Planning is OK, but too many seem to plan in perpetuity, a short experience living in another culture has 100 fold the impact of learning about it from afar. Absolutely make sure you plan the majority of your stay away from large tourist hubs, this will become a huge deterrence to actually living and learning the local culture. If you find a country, culture, region you like; go back at least two more times before committing. If you are FI you can stay in the same place for multiple months on the return trips, and you should. New things always seem best when they are new.

Consider that learning the language should be a priority if you find a place/culture you really enjoy. Even if there are a ton of expats, or "English as a second language" speakers available, you will never really understand a culture unless you become at least conversational in the local primary language. Just the way they say things in a native language provides a ton of insight on the culture. Actually, dating can be a good way to do this, but again, I highly suggest you do not date seriously until you are sold on wanting to stay somewhere on it's own merit. Unless you plan on bringing a partner back to the US (which it sounds like you are not).

Good luck! I would love to read how all of this develops for you.