Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
UrbanHomesteader
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

Some of the recent forum discussions have inspired me to try my hand at a journal. I left my job this year and I'm in the awkward phase of telling people I'm on sabbatical and considering my options.

My 2022 to do list included: home renovation projects, gardening (especially herbs and fruit tree care), foreign language study, hiking/backpacking, volunteering with wilderness advocacy groups and trail maintenance, play guitar (as an adult beginner), helping DH with his small business. I did manage to spend time on all of these activities in 2022, but I also had the sense that I really wanted to goof off and laze around much more than I wanted to admit.

There are so many things I want to do and experience in life, I have no fear of ever getting board. However, I am also aware of the sense that I would like to make the most of my life, including the opportunity to do something meaningful in the world. I've been asking myself "how could I improve circumstances for the planet (human rights, humanitarian work, environmental work)? It seems the most obvious ways are donate money, spread awareness, write to your congressmen, but what about real action?" I've come up with a lot of answers, but not the one actionable answer for myself.

I also feel like my life is pretty full as it is, and I could work on my current to do list for several years before I really need to add any new activities.

Basic stats: I'm 39F no kids, living with DH in the mountain west. I've been lurking and occasionally commenting in the ERE forums since 2011, and "working the program" since then. I worked full time for 18 years in total, and am now taking some time to catch up on life in other ways. I will continue to create value and may even get paid for my efforts in the future. I may share some numbers in terms of expenses, as I feel compelled, but I don't plan on sharing much in terms of net worth. Let's just say that for a 2 person household, our spending average has been in the ballpark of 2 JAFI for spending (with a paid off house) for the past several years.

ertyu
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Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by ertyu »

Congratulations on pulling the plug on paid employment. I definitely empathize with the urge to goof off and laze, especially right after you stop working.

DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by DutchGirl »

I'm interested in the fruit tree care :-) . Do you have a lot of fruit trees? Had they been neglected? Or was this the year that you planted them? Which types and how many? How much time did it roughly take this year, and what will you do next year?

I've just reread "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed, so I'm also interested in trail maintenance. What does that entail? Making sure the trail signs are there, pointing people in the right direction? Or also tree removal, path repair? Is it something one does together, or alone? (Here in the Netherlands you can volunteer to go trim trees or so in the "wilderness" (no part of the NL is really wild by the way), but you do it together, show up in sturdy clothes and bring gloves and the nature care organisation provide the rest, including transport to the exact location).

UrbanHomesteader
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

Thanks Ertyu!

@DutchGirl, thanks for your interest! The house came with fruit trees. The previous owners lived here a long time and planted a lot over the decades, including 3 apple trees, 2 apricot trees, a pear tree, a peach tree, a bunch of sour plums and a mulberry tree. The previous owners passed a way a couple of years before we bought the place and some things had died, but a lot survived. We have been trying to keep up, but it's hard to know exactly what the trees need to be honest. We have watered the trees during long dry periods and we have pruned them, as well as responding to an infestation of what were probably wooly moths on one apple tree (We sprayed diluted dish soap on the leaves, and it seemed to work).

The trees are at various stages of life cycle from fairly young to fairly old. The pear tree died this year sadly, it did look pretty old. The peach tree is just starting to get big enough to yield a good amount of peaches. We are also nurturing a baby apricot tree and a baby fig tree. I made apricot waffles for breakfast yesterday, it's nice to be able to put fruit in the freezer for winter!

The trail maintenance work has been done with non-profit organizations that provide equipment and guidance. These organizations have a relationship with the U.S. Forest Service, so they coordinate with the USFS about the individual projects. The work can include using a pickaxe to remove rocks from trails, or it can involve a saw or pruner to remove branches that are growing into the trail. There is also basic clean up and graffiti removal. It depends and what the priority is for that day. It's a opportunity to get out on the trails and meet other outdoorsy folks.

UrbanHomesteader
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

Weekly update:

With the short days of December, the desire to curl up and stay inside is pretty strong. However, I have managed to get outside for several social hikes this week.

DH and I also started planning for upcoming home improvement/maintenance projects. Some things are best left until spring when the temperature is right to leave doors and windows open, and when so many chemical reactions (like concrete setting) will have their ideal temperatures.

Last summer, I had a hard time doing manual labor in the heat (up to 98 Farenheit), but it seemed like DH had no problem. I felt like I was rebuilding my mind/body from the desk worker self of most of my 20s and 30s into the renaissance person I want to be. The self rebuild is still ongoing. I'm glad I'm doing it now while I still feel somewhat youthful and flexible. It's exciting and sometimes uncomfortable.

There is also the matter of trying to match rhythms with DH, since it seems we aren't always wanting to do things at the same time and in the same way. Yet, so many of our projects are really best done with both of us working as a team. We've spent as much time communicating about projects as actually executing them, it seems.

The everyday labor of the household keeps churning on as well. I've been using the Tody app to keep track of the general household cleaning and routine tasks, and it has been a real challenge to try to get "caught up", the house does seem much more luxurious when clean though. I also baked bread and cookies this week, along with plenty of cooking.

It's been a good week.

UrbanHomesteader
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

Happy Day After Solstice - the days begin to get longer in the Northern Hemisphere!

The main task at hand this week was to get finalize the specifications on a set of high efficiency windows, to replace dysfunctional single pain windows. Some days I've been in the flow of this project, and some days I have really struggled to get my head in the game. I find myself using what should be my peak mental/physical time to look at stuff on the internet (only sometimes project related).

I might have to pull out some of the focus techniques I used to use at my old desk job. Specifically, I set a timer for 52 minutes and committed to at least trying to work during that time, and I would also use certain types of focus music. We'll see if I can make these techniques work for my personal projects as well.

I've also met up with others for a couple of really nice hikes this week, always a highlight. Some good home cooked meals as well.

DutchGirl
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Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by DutchGirl »

Hopefully this summer you feel more energetic in the sun. But some of the difference between your husband and you may truly be a physical difference where he got some good genes in the "heat management" system of your body and you didn't as much. In my family, my mother and I have the faulty genes and my brother, sister and father got the good genes. It helps a bit to drink plenty of water, but somehow the internal cooling system is just less effective.

I hope you can find a rhythm with your husband on the projects that need to be done.

And that more cookies were made in this last week. Cookies in December are pretty awesome.

UrbanHomesteader
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

@DutchGirl, thank you for the comment. I think you are right about the physical differences between me and DH. Also, he grew up in the climate we live in now, and I grew up in a colder/wetter climate, so in addition to genetics, it could be the way we have adapted to the environments during our lifetimes.

We are trying to find a rhythm that works for both of us, it is not easy. I'm also thinking of the core house projects we need to do together, and hoping to just knock those out so we can go back to working independently. We both have other things we'd rather be doing honestly :)

On a fun note, this week we got a basic flux-core welder and started to learn welding. It is pretty fun actually, and brings up a lot of possibilities for making things out of salvage metal.

We brought the baby fig (2 years old) in from the cold for the winter. We still need to make a plant stand so it can get a little sun.

UrbanHomesteader
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

It's been a good week on the homestead. We are moving forward on our first significant welding project, and it is coming together nicely. I like metal work.

I also think I did better at communicating with DH about which days and what times I would want to work together (and showing up at those times). There were couple of snow days, and even though DH decided he was fine continuing to work in the non-climate controlled workspace even in freezing temperatures, I elected not to. The weather lighted up a bit though, and a few days with highs in the 40s-50s were fine for working. It looks like we will have workable temperatures for the next 10 days or so. I also know that I tend to want a rest day after 4-5 days of project work, so I'm keeping that in mind.

I also have been doing Yoga With Adrienne's annual January 30 day yoga program on YouTube, and that is always nice. I often do Yoga, but not everyday. For the month of January, I'm planning to stick with the morning yoga routine. I actually set my alarm for 7 am today, because I knew I wanted to do Yoga, have breakfast (oatmeal with apple and nuts) and be ready to work on our project by 9 am. I love my slow mornings, but I also love making progress on projects during daylight/peak ours.

Reading about Axelheist's PCT plan had me thinking about the PCT again. I'd like to do a section of it myself. I live near the CDT, and I do day hikes on it regularly. This summer I'd like to do some more overnight backpacking trips locally. I have a pretty decent set of gear, so it really is just packing up and choosing a spot.

UrbanHomesteader
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Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

I have spent very little time thinking about my old corporate job lately, but I am teasing apart the ways I am mentally a bit "institutionalized" and still habituated to the constant pressure of deadlines and time/energy scarcity associated with the old grind.

The most impactful video I've seen this year explains that tiredness is an emotion (https://youtu.be/0sppw7Zq35w). I am noticing the way my neural pathways have me shutting down to certain activities that I just didn't have time for when I was working the old job. Now I am working on de-institutionalizing myself. Specifically, I have to retrain myself to believe that yes the things I always dreamed of having time and energy to do: I do in fact have the time and energy to do them (and I don't have to work through exhaustion, I can start slow and move a comfortable pace).

Rereading some of the ERE book, now from the perspective of having freed myself from the day job. I have a lot more opportunities to optimize my life, both materially and mentally. I did make a lot of changes in the right direction while working, but it is different when you are trying to fit something in around this huge obligation of a job (a very mentally taxing - long days & big responsibility type of job). I was already making most meals at home, etc., but I'm looking forward to taking it further.

ertyu
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Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by ertyu »

I'm finding this is true for me as well. Some emotional responses persist. I would be very interested if you're willing to write an expanded post on the topic: what are some realizations you've had about the the ways in which you're still "institutionalized," what habits, emotions, and implicit beliefs persist, and how you are / would like to be changing them for the better.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

The other side of the coin is feeling like you've "gone feral", and may not ever be able to reacclimate yourself to major cultural institutions such as full-time employment by other/career or conventional monogamous marriage.

calamityjane
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Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 2:51 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by calamityjane »

I was just thinking about this today. My current work role is so limited that I was starting to think I had escaped the bureaucratic anxiety and stress responses I used to get when I was full time. Then I had a relatively minor issue come to my attention that completely threw me for a worry loop yesterday (technically a holiday even!) and showed me work still has emotional control over me. It was kind of a bummer, but a good wake-up call. Even easy money comes with emotional handcuffs.

UrbanHomesteader
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

Thanks for your interest!

Ways in which I feel institutionalized;

We have important home DIY projects to do, things that will impact the functionality and longevity of our home. Especially since this is a team project, it does feel like a job that doesn't have clear boundaries of on/off shift. I got sick a few days ago, and I feel guilty about "missing work" and letting my teammate down (DH).

I also am involved with a couple of not for profits, but the scheduling is flexible. I feel guilty that I haven't put in the time I want there too.

Basically, I still have this sense that I should be doing more, or I am letting the team(s) down.

It doesn't help that some "normal" people are always asking what I am doing these days, and if they get wind that I don't have a regular job, it's always "so what are you doing, then?". There is a clear sense that I have to justify my existence by rattling off all the things I am doing (which is a lot). Luckily not everyone is like that, but still.

Since I was a remote worker, I thought about just keeping up the appearance that I was still doing that. However, I prefer to be more authentic in my interactions. Also, I wanted to let people know that I am available for weekday fun now.

To summarize, I have a bad case of "should-itis" combined with a backlog of to-do list items that are standing in the way of my peace of mind. There is this mild underlying unease that I think does stem from the old office life of deadlines, overwork and needing to appear valuable & reliable as a teammate. I have to consciously remind myself that I have done a ton of work in my life, and I don't have to prove my value to others in that way.

I took a 3 week solo trip to Turkey last fall, so that I could fully set aside all my responsibilities, and it was a really nice reset. The best way I have found to get a mini-reset closer to home is to take a hike in nature, which I am doing a couple times a week now.

I have not yet "gone feral" but that sounds really appealing to me.

One if my dreams, after I get a handle on things at home, is to hit the long trails with a backpack for an undecided amount of time. I live on the CDT in NM, so that's my backyard. I would like to bus over to the PCT sometime and go a bit feral there for a while!

ertyu
Posts: 2893
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by ertyu »

Right, this absolutely checks out. Circumstances have changed, the nature of the tasks have changed (e.g. no one prevents you from postponing work on your apartment, and also, no one will come exploit your wife harder just bc you happen to be sick), but the emotional habits persist. things like how we get ourselves to take action, what we tell ourselves to motivate ourselves, what emotions we call up, what stories we tell to ourselves about the situation. very interesting.

from my salaryman place, i too find myself dreaming of becoming feral hahaha

UrbanHomesteader
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

@ertyu, I'm glad I'm not alone. This part of your response made me laugh out loud "no one will come exploit your wife harder just bc you happen to be sick".

AxelHeyst
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Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by AxelHeyst »

Team Feral, checking in. What you wrote about feeling institutionalized resonates a lot with me, thank you for sharing. I was just thinking/feeling today what a long and.. subtle journey it is, to pick apart all the threads and find the ones that you don't want in the tapestry of your life anymore, which ones are find just the way they are, and which ones just need a bit of refurbishing. Energy and focus is a recurring theme, isn't it. Am I focused energetically on this project because I want to? Or because I have institutionalized inclinations towards should-itis team player / bonus chasing / office politics / etc? For how long is it okay for me to relax / recuperate after X years in The Machine, and where's the line of being indulgent?

I'm interested in hearing about the welding project. 8-)

mathiverse
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Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by mathiverse »

I wonder if I've gone feral lately... My three month stint at my last job suggests I'm headed that way if I'm not there already! Which isn't great since I'm only semiERE and neither FI nor ERE. But perhaps it won't matter soon since I think I see a path to FI and ERE in the next few years if I don't go back to full time work.

Dave
Posts: 545
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2014 1:42 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by Dave »

Hi @Urbanhomesteader, nice to read your journal.
UrbanHomesteader wrote:
Thu Jan 05, 2023 6:46 pm
I also have been doing Yoga With Adrienne...
Hah, I used to do Adrienne's yoga sessions back in ~2015-2017! Good times, always liked those, although I never got very good :lol: .
UrbanHomesteader wrote:
Thu Jan 05, 2023 6:46 pm
To summarize, I have a bad case of "should-itis" combined with a backlog of to-do list items that are standing in the way of my peace of mind.
I get that, for sure. Sounds like that big hike might be just what you need!

UrbanHomesteader
Posts: 87
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:02 pm

Re: Urbanhomesteader's Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

Thanks for all the input everyone! It's nice to be able to share these thoughts with others who can relate.

@AH, the welding project is a bit unusual. We are replacing the old single-pane steel casement windows with modern windows. The structure is concrete block with stucco. We wanted to trim out the windows somehow, and happened to have a bunch of iron. We decided that concrete and iron go nicely together, so we are building frames to go around the windows. This involves cutting the iron with an angle grinder & cut-off wheel (although we also tried a metal blade on a circular saw, and that worked ok too). Then we use flap wheels to grind down any rust. Then we use our little Flux Core welder to weld the joints. Once those steps are done, we will spray paint with rust reformer, primer and then a finish coat.

This involves lots of YouTube video tutorials and test welds.

We are also trying electrolisis for surface rust removal for the first time.

@Dave, the nice thing about the at-home yoga practice is that no one cares if you are any good at it! It is a nice way to get moving for sure. I fell off the yoga wagon the last week or so due to being sick, but I'm looking forward to starting up again.

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