not sure but i'll try Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Looking back at the goals - I'm not sure what happened to #7.. guess I miscalculated ;-)
#10 got cancelled due to geopolitical situation in Europe.
I guess I have to come up with #7 now ;-)
Let it be to finish a course on teaching basic education to adults (I'm about half-way through)

Thinking about the future, I'd like to continue teaching basic education to adults when work for pay becomes optional.
So I am planning to take a few courses on it (preferably for free!) in the next 1-2 years.

The more I ponder the future, the more I realize that for me, work is a very important part of life. I don't want to quit altogether. I'd like to slow down a bit to "smell the roses", focus on the stuff I want to do, and the stuff God is leading me towards.
I'd like pay to not be an issue since many of the opportunities I feel drawn to are done on a voluntary basis.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

mid-month update

Post by not sure »

Journal was on the third page - time for an update!
Life's been pretty busy - more busy than I would like. Thankfully, my main job hasn't been too stressful, it's the extra stuff that has piled up.
I guess it ebbs and flows, but I am looking forward to the "lower flow" in October.

I've been testing a tracker a-la James Clear for the habits I'd like to continue developing.
It's natural that some things will stick and some won't, so it's pretty much a work in progress. I try to make adjustments every couple of weeks.
So far, I've had good results with the morning routine (5-7 times a week) - jogging, journalling, Bible reading and prayer.
Somewhat less success but still consistent "daytime" habits (4-6 times a week): intermittent fasting for 14-16 hours a day; avoiding added sugar (I call it <1 tsp refined sugar/day); avoiding chocolate; walking ~ 1 mile during lunchtime.

Evenings have been the hardest to change - here are the items I tried adding to the tracker (success 0-4 times a week): eating before 6:30 pm, light (as opposed to heavy) dinner; Bible reading and journalling 1 page, tidying up >15 min, writing (as in book, blog, etc), going for an evening walk.
I'm trying to tweak evening routine to find a rhythm that works. Unfortunately, I have different things in the evenings during the week, so it varies significantly. Some days I cook, teach, speak to friends on the phone as part of book club, or have other social activities. Some days I'm a bookworm and want to read all evening... the aim is to nudge habits of choice up to 2-5 times a week.

Still struggle with eating patterns and weight - I definitely see correlations between a high stress weeks/months and larger volume of snacking/eating beyond fullness. Sigh...Not sure how to get this under control. Life will continue to have periods of higher stress.

Money update:
Earnings continue as usual. Got paid for teaching the Science class again. Not much - a couple of hundred bucks, but I welcome the income diversification in principle. Decided to give the earnings away to a few missionaries I support and purchase demonstration materials for the class. Also "bribing" my students to come to an extra study session by offering to buy them coffee :-)

Spending:
Spending was a bit on the higher end last month in the miscellaneous and food categories. Food - I've been on a doc-prescribed diet for over 2 months now. Starting to find a new normal regarding which foods I can eat when. Unfortunately, all legumes and many fruits and veggies went on "restricted" list, which affected the food budget. Still probably under $350 a month for the two of us, but I am hoping this can come down to $280-300.
Miscellaneous - a few discretionary purchases: presents, books, gas for trips, doing stuff with foster youth mentee. Nothing crazy, but stuff we choose to spend money on because it's easier that way.

Saving:
We continue to save, although less aggressively than last year. I stopped tracking the exact percentages, but a large chunk goes towards 401k; we are also putting some aside into CDs with the eye towards "filling" our iBonds buckets in January 2023.

Gardening:
Harvested a few zucchinis!
I made a quick quiche with grated zucchini (also onion, cheese, corn, milk, flour, baking powder, pepper and eggs, all mixed and baked) yesterday and it turned out really tasty and soft.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Goals update (separate)

Post by not sure »

These updates are really for me to keep myself accountable

1. Finish writing and editing the book that I started during NaNoWriMo
- planning to pick it up again in October, when my teaching load goes down and I'll be house-sitting

2. Reach and maintain 122 lb weight
- working on the habits...

4. Learn to play Amazing Grace on a Native American flute
- forgot about this one. I think it's still a goal

7. Complete a course in basic adult education
+ course complete, waiting on the certificate

8. Write 12 letters
+ going to do one right now!
8 in total

9. Go car camping again (aiming at least twice)
-1 cancelled my planned trip, will be house sitting for a friend with a needy dog instead.

11. Take the youth we are mentoring out hiking
think I'll mark this as complete, just took him to a stadium game. Hiking is not really his thing


Done Goals:
3. Run a half-marathon (means to goal#2) - done
6. Ski 12 times - The season is now over, did not reach 12, but it was a stretch goal, so I am quite pleased with 9 times
12. Visit friends in MN - done
5. Read 12 books - done

3 books on the go: Desiring God by J. Piper, new: The Cider House Rules by J. Irving; You Can Change by T. Chester
2 books on hold - The Art of Reading Minds, According to Plan

Previously read: Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis, Psychology of Money by M Housel, Little Fires Everywhere by C. Ng
Early Retirement Extreme (finally got a book from the library!), Upstream by D. (or C.?) Heath, Heaven by R. Alcorn, Exercised by D. Leiberman, Hacking of the American Mind, re-read the first 3 books in the Bridgerton series by J. Quinn ; Blink by M. Gladwell
Total: 14
Listened to: Man's Search for Meaning by V. E. Frankl

Also re-read the Web of Goals part of the ERE book. Realised that this year's written goals above focused on "things" or "items", while the web is meant to be a focus on modules and/or processes. Hit a snag trying to draw them out, so need to stew on it.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Sitting in my new $5 recliner typing this, sipping a hazelnut-flavoured coffee.
Not a great day at work, but I’ve had worse. Wondering if I came across as a bragging prick to some of my colleagues, and also why it bothers me. I guess deep down I like to be liked. Funny how that is. I don’t very much care if I keep the job, nor if I stay in touch with the people I work with, and yet something in me cares about their opinion.

By all standards (comfy chair, roof over my head, the luxury of flavoured coffee, access to the internet), my life is good, and it could be a fine evening. Yet the little gremlin of dissatisfaction is eating me up.
I need to say “meh” and move on…

Oh, and why am I posting it here? simply because I can

I guess the process of moving on has started...

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Oct 2022 plan

Post by not sure »

House and dog sitting for the next 10 days.
Nice break from the routine, a chance to spend time with a four-legged creature and move the needle on a couple of outstanding goals.
Planning to
1) write 2 letters
2) Practice the flute every day and finally learn the song
3) go for a walk with the dog and a run every day
4) make progress on the book while drinking lots of coffee (possible side effect)
5) catch up on sleep

not sure
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

September 2022 update:

Financially, back on track with the spending:
Total expenses for the month were 1.7k base, 1.5k donations and gifts. In line with what we had last year. A bit more donations, but is was a 3 pay check month and I got a little extra from the teaching gig, which I wanted to give back.
Progress on goals - mediocre, but stayed sane and managed to do a couple of things well - spending time with mentee, seeing hubby's parents, finishing my course and 2nd session of teaching high school equivalency. At work - meh month, nothing exciting or troublesome.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

October 2022 is almost in the rear view mirror. Time flies when one is having fun.
I went on a work conference to Houston and got a chance to visit the NASA Space Centre. Really great place, restored my hope for humanity somewhat. It's mind-exploding that between the 60s and the 90's humans were able to accomplish so much. Where did all that drive go in last couple of decades?
Why can't we solve the problems here on Earth with the same creativity, technical acumen and the dedication to do hard things and succeed?
IMHO, too many of us have turned into ""me-me-me" couch potatoes glued to our screens..

Speaking of this couch potato, I haven't been running much, and eating too much high-calorie foods like nuts, so the weight has been going up despite my best intentions. Sigh...
I wrote those 2 letters in October, had fun watching the dog, and played the flute a bit. Made no progress on the book and drank moderate amount of coffee. The book stuff is kind of on the back-burner. Writing is definitely something that I want to explore in preparation for and during the "work-optional" phase. (Can't call it ERE, since I don't think I'll be retiring in the common meaning of the word.)
But, I don't feel like picking it up again now, sort of gotten lukewarm towards that piece of writing. There are no hard deadlines looming to complete any of it. However, speaking of creative outlets, I'd like to design a comic book for a high school outreach project at work. Mocked up a few pages already and people liked it. So I think I'll be doing a comic book during this year's NaNoWriMo.

Also took a stab at creating a web-of-goals drawing for myself, but it comes out too complex. Everything seems to be connected. I think it works better for my brain to draw 4 quadrants, label the categories God, Professional, Personal, and Family, and fill up a few things under each category.
Also, a couple of main words kept coming to me during that exercise - "encourage" and "simplify". I'll try to focus on those two for the next wee while.

In the spirit of "simplify", I'll be purcging some of the accumulated possessions. Took 2 bags of clothing to the thrift store today and listed a few more books on paperbackswap. I love books, and feel sad donating them to goodwill, as who knows whether anyone will be interested in them. I would much rather pay to ship books via paper swap but know that the person who requested actually wants to read that book.

The plan is continue to slowly de-clutter: use up items in the pantry, list a few things on marketplace or freecycle, continue going through closets. When I watch some of the old movies, especially from the beginning of the 20th century, it strikes me how much less people had. And they still lived, and loved, and laughed. Would be good to keep this in mind as present-exchange season approaches.

zbigi
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Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by zbigi »

not sure wrote:
Sat Oct 29, 2022 6:24 pm
October 2022 is almost in the rear view mirror. Time flies when one is having fun.
I went on a work conference to Houston and got a chance to visit the NASA Space Centre. Really great place, restored my hope for humanity somewhat. It's mind-exploding that between the 60s and the 90's humans were able to accomplish so much. Where did all that drive go in last couple of decades?
Why can't we solve the problems here on Earth with the same creativity, technical acumen and the dedication to do hard things and succeed?
The space program was a PR piece for US government, with the purpose of demonstrating technical/civilizational superiority over the Soviet empire. The goal behind it was to prevent more people inside the West, as well as more third-world countries, from converting to communism. Once, in the early nineties, it became clear to everyone that communism doesn't work, further demonstration of superiority was no longer needed, and the program got put into freezer.

not sure
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Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Ahh, so much for faith in humanity!
but makes sense, there has got to be a uniting force to drive progress & collaboration and a common enemy is the best.

Started reading a book on American politics "Why We Are Polarized" by Ezra Klein - only a third of the way in, but so far very interesting, if not a little demoralising. I have to remind myself of "sphere of influence, sphere of concern". Some of the macro-trends or events may be concerning to me, yet I need to focus on what I can control (to a certain degree), otherwise the mind goes into dinosaur land (lizard response "we are all doomed")

not sure
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

October 2022 Numbers Update

Post by not sure »

Finally sat down to review the numbers for October.
Total spend: 2k, giving: 1.5k. Savings well above 50%
The two combined are just under 10% of total NW, but the spending part has been trending towards 5% lately. Still ways to go to a SWR that I'd like to see, but making progress!
In some ways it's nice that the markets are down, I am trying to plow a bit more into the 401k this past year and in 2023, so good to have the stocks correction. My company has pretty good choices for index funds in the 401k, so I am happy with putting the $ there.

Slightly higher spending in October due to some travel, auto expense and a couple of dinners out, but all of those expenses were worthwhile.

On "simplify":
shipped off 3 books on paperback swap, cleaned up a stack of old business cards and expired medicine

On "encourage":
we'll be seeing our mentee today. Bought him a Narnia book to encourage reading. Actually, bought 2 so that someone (us or his caretaker) can read it for him and he can follow along in his own book. Also made a creative present for his birthday - went through my stack of coins and will be giving him a little pouch with coins from at least 10 different countries.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Goals update and other musings

Post by not sure »

(These updates are really for me to keep myself accountable)

slacking off on:
1. Finish writing and editing the book that I started during NaNoWriMo
2. Reach and maintain 122 lb weight
4. Learn to play Amazing Grace on a Native American flute
9. Go car camping again (aiming at least twice) - just did not happen this yer, other things came up.

The first 3 there - still hope for some progress, but hmmm, not really much closer to any of them...

8. Write 12 letters
10 so far

Done Goals:
3. Run a half-marathon (means to goal#2) - done
6. Ski 12 times - The season is now over, did not reach 12, but it was a stretch goal, so I am quite pleased with 9 times
7. Complete a course in basic adult education - done
11. Take the youth we are mentoring out hiking - mark this as complete, we did and are doing things with him, just not hiking
12. Visit friends in MN - done
5. Read 12 books - done

3 books on the go: You Can Change by T. Chester; Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by E. Metals; Why We Are Polarized by E. Klein
Just finished: The Courage to Be Disliked by E. Kishimi, F. Koga

Previously read: Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis, Psychology of Money by M. Housel, Little Fires Everywhere by C. Ng
Early Retirement Extreme (finally got a book from the library!), Upstream by D. Heath, Heaven by R. Alcorn, Exercised by D. Leiberman, Hacking of the American Mind, re-read the first 3 books in the Bridgerton series by J. Quinn ; Blink by M. Gladwell; Desiring God by J. Piper; The Cider House Rules by J. Irving
Total: 17
Listened to: Man's Search for Meaning by V. E. Frankl

Another goal that I picked up a couple of months ago is to read the Bible in a year. It's something I often though was unattainable for me, but seeing how many other books I read, it was worth a shot. I just picked up a plan at the end of my study Bible in September and started reading. So far it's been surprisingly enjoyable and I am on track with the plan. Here is to a few more months of good reading!
I found that using a different translation (HCSB rather than my usual ESV) helps me see things in a slightly different way, so keeps it fresh. I also read from a study bible that has plenty of maps to look at, and some interesting articles about the context.

Other musings

I’ve been spending time lately reading from journals with a career/work break, like m741 and 2Birds1Stone.
Maybe it’s my lens, but the time seemed to be beneficial/worth it for those who did.
This brings me what I wrote in the journal earlier - “letting myself” quit the current job in June 2023. I find myself mulling it over more and more. Had a chat with DH last night and he seemed very much on board with it.
Now work-wise, I may want to see my projects and teams through the end of 2023. Looks like it'll be a busy year and I don't want to drop things part-way through. But the idea of taking a hiatus in 2024 sound more and more solid. I'd probably want to see family for longer periods, do some travel to the places I've read about, maybe a few volunteer and personal projects. Getting kind of excited about that.

ertyu
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Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by ertyu »

I took a break between Jan 2020 and Oct. '21 as well. Save for some time spent with family that was quite crazy-making during the first 6 months of 2020, I found it beneficial as well. I didn't necessarily accomplish much externally but I was much saner at the end than when I started.

not sure
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Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Sanity is often under appreciated. We aren't machines that can be programmed to do a set of tasks and left to do them.
So many times I've thought that if only I did [XYZ] , I could accomplish [ABC], live up to my potential, etc, etc.
Sigh, feelings, laziness, state of mind, - all of that pretty much never aligns with what *I think* my potential is. I call them "cockroaches in my head".
All that to say: if a few days or a few months off clear out the cockroach farm somehow - it's worth it!

Kind of my story during Thanksgiving holiday here in the US. I had the best of plans for the 2 days of the 4-day weekend that we had nothing going on. Guess what? None of those eventuated, but I had a blissful time reading, surfing the net, watching a movie and eating ice-cream and leftover cherry cobbler. So trying to not be peeved at myself - sometimes my lizard brain knows better what I need than my conscious mind.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Thankful

Post by not sure »

It's Thanksgiving weekend, so wanted to thank you all for enabling this forum to be the space and community that it is!
Really appreciate it.

Other things I am thankful for:

The God who knows me fully yet still loves me and accepts me through the saving sacrifice of Jesus
Dear husband, who has a ton of "cockroaches" of his own, yet is committed to loving me; who cares and expresses that care the best he can.
A decent family, even though we are spread all over
Roof over my head, warm place to call home, food in the fridge and coffee in the mornings
Some $ in the bank for a rainy day
Resilient and able mind (for the most part)
Healthy body (for the most part)
Good local communities - church, gym, to some degree - work
Ability and internal motivation to serve others
Ability to dream
Ability to read and a library nearby
Friends to talk to and invite for meal; friends in faraway places and ability to call and stay connected.
Medical system and advances of civilization - I know I most likely won’t die from abscess of a tooth, or a popped dirty blister
Freedom to express myself and live as my conscience dictates (for the most part)

Frugalchicos
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Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by Frugalchicos »

Hello, welcome to the forum and glad we served as an inspiration! I am also very jealous of you living in Colorado :)

Wish you the best luck in your journey. As you said, having a journal helps you keeping you motivated, focused and develop your thoughts. I believe writing your thoughts down is very powerful.

not sure
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Thank you, @Frugalchicos! appreciate the comment
Yes, I sure am lucky to live close to the mountains. Unfortunately, haven't made much effort to explore this year, but hoping to do more hiking next year!
I enjoy reading glimpses about your Chicago life - I spent a couple of years there and still have fond memories of the lakefront, the architecture river cruises, Pilsen and a few other neighbourhoods.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

What's next?

Post by not sure »

Have been reading some on the forum, finished a couple of long journals in the last 2-4 months and a few shorter ones. Very interesting stuff! It’s becoming clearer to me that beyond a certain point, some people start perceiving money as a solved problem and the questions/existential ponderings become slightly more diverse (and interesting?)

Been giving more thought to my own “next phase”.
When I think about the stuff I wanted to do in the US when I first came here and the stuff I want to do now, only a few things come to mind:
  • Visit Yellowstone (want to compare it with the geysers I saw in New Zealand
  • See the Northern Lights
  • Maybe see the fiords in Alaska for the same reason as above
  • Hike the A.T.
  • Visit Yosemite (b/c I had this stock Apple background on my Mac and it showed a view of Yosemite, and why not)

Hike the A.T. really resonates for a few reasons:
  • I want to explore God’s creation by being really close to it/living it for a while, yet I want to be fairly close to civilisation.
  • I like the historical aspect of the trail and the lore that surrounds it after so many books and blogs have been written.
  • Someone I briefly knew hiked 4 days of it, mentioned it to me a few times, and that idea took hold.
  • I think it would really show me what I’m made of, help me grow closer to God, and I look forward to serendipity which arises when make my mind and life available to its magic.
I would also really like to travel to see family and possibly friends in various places in the world; would like to see a few historical places in Europe that I've read about.
So sounds like this next phase is about exploring (self and surroundings) and reconnecting (with self and people I care for).

No definite dates in mind yet. I know hiking is better spring-autumn; visiting the Southern Hemisphere is better during their summer season.
I’d also like to not be away from DH for too long at a time, whether we do some of the travelling together or I break it up into pieces. Don’t want to neglect my church community, either.

Other thoughts:
I’d like to learn and make a quilt for our bed
I’d like to do another stint of writing like for NaNoWriMo
I’d like to continue volunteering with church, possibly pick up more responsibilities
I’d like to continue teaching Science to adults
I’d like to learn more gardening. In fact I could probably visit my mom and have full-immersion grow and preserve your own food experience, depending on the time of year. That’s a big draw. Timing will be everything.

There are a couple of things that must line up before I can start putting more solid plans in place. And, as always, a (wo)man plans the steps but God establishes the way. I want to be attuned to His guidance and direction, so all of these things are sketches without solid form yet. In my experience, I’ve felt promptings and sometimes pretty clear instructions, so I believe that God really does communicate with us. We do not always hear or want to hear, let alone do them.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Goals update November 2022

Post by not sure »

Goals:
No meaningful change on these three. They will probably go to next year or be abandoned. Sigh...
1. Finish writing and editing the book that I started during NaNoWriMo
4. Learn to play Amazing Grace on a Native American flute
9. Go car camping again (aiming at least twice) - just did not happen this yer, other things came up.

I've gone backwards on the weight goal. Around Sept-Oct, I stopped tracking weight thinking I'll give it a break. Another sigh... picked up 10 lb through a combination of stress eating and other stuff. So, I am sitting around 138 lb now, which does not bother anyone but me. But bothers me a great deal. So I started going to cycling classes in the morning 3 days a week. Increase in fitness level, but no effect on weight yet. Still keeping the goal, although with slight adjustment
2. Reach and maintain 125 lb weight

8. Write 12 letters
11 so far

X goal: Read the Bible in a year - on track

Books
3 books on the go: You Can Change by T. Chester; Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by E. Metaxas; Becoming Odyssa by J. Pharr Davis
Just finished: Why We Are Polarized by E. Klein; For Women Only by S. Feldhahn

Previously read: Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis, Psychology of Money by M. Housel, Little Fires Everywhere by C. Ng
Early Retirement Extreme (finally got a book from the library!), Upstream by D. Heath, Heaven by R. Alcorn, Exercised by D. Leiberman, Hacking of the American Mind, re-read the first 3 books in the Bridgerton series by J. Quinn ; Blink by M. Gladwell; Desiring God by J. Piper; The Cider House Rules by J. Irving; The Courage to Be Disliked by E. Kishimi, F. Koga
Total: 18
Listened to: Man's Search for Meaning by V. E. Frankl

$
Have not closed the books for Nov yet, but will likely be a spendy month - we went on a couple's retreat and I bought an espresso machine that I've agonized over for the last 2+ years

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Writing this with the thought that “A man plans the way but God establishes the steps". I don’t know if any of this will come to pass.
Received a bonus from work in the last couple of pay checks - that’s one of the big draws to fully complete another year. Another bonus can probably fund half a year of travel to interesting places. It’s also easy to measure. Value of time, on the other hand, is difficult to measure. So in planning the exit time I am comparing apples to sticks, which makes it hard. I suspect it may be a “heart” decision - if something comes up during the year that causes me to change course.

The uncertainty of the “end date” makes it hard to work day-to-day sometimes. But God is good and I continue to look to Him for strength to persevere.

Made a few gingerbread houses to give away. Had a friend come over to help decorate, and 2.5 hours later we had 3 lovely creations.
Homemade (not from a kit) gingerbread houses is one of my regular Christmas present ideas that are fun and ERE-esque. Also tried a little nativity scene with leftover dough. It turned out well, considering my complete lack of sculpting skills! Now my regular reading spot in the living room smells of spices and makes me peckish for treats that I don’t need.

This brings me to the goal that I’ve had in 2022 and seemed to fail spectacularly at - lose a few pounds :(
Sigh… I’ve been going to spin classes 3 times a week for the past 4 weeks. Good progress - 138.5 down to 136.5 lbs. Still far from desired, but it’s a healthy pace. Also, gets me fitter and out of bed in the mornings as the class is pretty early. Goal for the holidays: continue doing exercise 3-5 times a week; have 1 helping of dessert only.

MBBboy
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Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by MBBboy »

You say the end date of work is uncertain - did I miss why it's no longer June of 2023? What has made it uncertain instead of firm?

How does the study plan for the Bible work? I've never tried any of the plans I've seen around, but they all seem to differ so I'm curious. My wife is doing one based on an app - I've always just sort of read in the general vicinity of whatever was talked about in church on Sunday!

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