not sure but i'll try Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Feb 22 Messy Update

Post by not sure »

February been and gone - crazy busy month, with a crisis at the end.

I'll start with the goals update.

Work has been busy and quite stressful the last few weeks, so not a whole lot of progress made on anything outside that:

1. Finish writing and editing the book that I started during NaNoWriMo
no time for this :(

2. Reach and maintain 122 lb weight
actually gained all the lost weight back - little exercise and stress snacking

3. Run a half-marathon (means to goal#2)
went for a few runs, but not as many as I would have liked

4. Learn to play Amazing Grace on a Native American flute
practiced early in the month, but not lately

5. Read 12 books
3 books still in progress - Heaven, TheArt of Reading Minds, According to Plan
Almost done with the art of reading minds

6. Ski 12 times
skied 6 or 7 times

8. Write 12 letters
wrote 3

9. Go car camping again (aiming at least twice)
0

10. Visit home country twice
booked one trip, which will probably get cancelled as said country is at war :(

11. Take the youth we are mentoring out hiking
had a few good outings, no hiking yet

12. Visit friends in MN
maybe time to plan this?


Finances update -

No change in NW.
Spending at the lower band of the scale established last year $1.8k

Thoughts

Been craving part time work all the past month. It would give me much more time for exercise and non-work goals and things I'd like to do. But, in all good conscience, I cannot see myself quitting the current job yet - people there rely on me, we have an ongoing issue that I am helping to deal with, and, given financial uncertainty for some of my family members in other country, I think I should keep a steady well-paying job.
So here it is - I'm trying to focus on the positives and somehow still find ways to do the things that are good for my body and soul...

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Forgot to mention one good thing that happened in Feb!
I signed up to teach high school equivalency class in Science through my local church outreach program. The program prepares students for an exam called HiSET, which is sort of like GED. It won't start until summer because I need to develop curriculum for it.

I am really looking forward to this. The pay is nominal, but the satisfaction of doing something for others more than makes up for it. And I can use my education and experience in a way that's different from my day job. It could also open part-time tutoring opportunities in the future.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

A few updates on things earmarked as goals for the year.
Biggest goal should have been - stay out at the current job (which I find challenging)
Second biggest - enjoy life with DH (which is not challenging, but should be super high priority. And it is, although up to this point - unwritten :) )

1. Finish writing and editing the book that I started during NaNoWriMo
- have not come back to this yet, but thinking about it, 0

2. Reach and maintain 122 lb weight
+1 - had been more conscious about regular exercise. weight as was 128 last time I measured

3. Run a half-marathon (means to goal#2)
+ 1 had been going for regular short jogs (20 min) 3-4 times a week.
Over the next few weeks will be ramping up frequency/duration

4. Learn to play Amazing Grace on a Native American flute
-1, not practiced

5. Read 12 books
3 books still in progress - Heaven, TheArt of Reading Minds, According to Plan
+1
Read: Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis, Psychology of Money by M Housel, Little Fires Everywhere by C. Ng

6. Ski 12 times
skied 6 or 7 times
0, planning another ski trip

8. Write 12 letters
wrote 3
0, nothing additional

9. Go car camping again (aiming at least twice)
0

10. Visit home country twice
deleting this goal as it probably won't be possible

11. Take the youth we are mentoring out hiking
had a few good outings, no hiking yet
0

12. Visit friends in MN
maybe time to plan this
0

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

The biggest change in the last 2 weeks has been the focused decision to get enough exercise for the body not to feel run down.
I let it slide in early March when work got super busy and felt terrible - way more stressed than the work-related stress warranted. Now I am getting a short jog or walk in the morning, 10 min of stretching on some days, a short scenic walk at lunchtime (just to get out and enjoy the sun), and often a walk in the evening.
I'd like to continue doing that going forward. Regular exercise will be the key fo me to stick it out one more year full time. I don't want to let people down - one of the reasons my work is stressful is that the company has been growing like crazy, and we don't have enough staff, plus a substantial amount of staff turnover :( The people I work with are pretty good, very knowledgeable and want to do the right thing, so it's the stress level that makes me want to quit...

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

March 2022 update

Post by not sure »

Continuing with a reduced update this year - spending within the range established in 2021:
$1,862 expenses, $1,398 donations and misc volunteering expenses, NW slightly increased due to markets rebounding.

Been doing some conscious reallocation to emergency fund - 9 mo expenses, 6 of them invested in short term 3-6 month CDs.
We also hold ~2 spend years of I-bonds, as secure stash for large purchase like a house downpayment or rainy day fund.
Ultimately, after reading blogs from folks around the time of the market crash in 2008-2009, I think it is worth the opportunity cost for us to hold 3 years' worth of expenses in safer, lower return deposits.

Very slow progress on other goals in March - one more letter written, now up to 4
Some jogging, but not feeling well a few times. Skied 2 more times - 9 in total. Not sure if we'll go again this year, so this may be it.

Very poor progress on weight loss. Got to a point that I decided to pay for outside help - got a Noom subscription today. A little pricy, but worth it for my mental well-being. It's a silly app with fairly predictable tracking and colour coding of meals, but should be enough of external accountability/structure for me to finally make progress on this goal.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

So, have been using Noom app for almost a week and have to say that I'm impressed.
Full disclaimer: I still think it's a silly app and a crutch because I myself lack the willpower to mind my food and exercise.
BUT, the app gives me enough accountability and drive to do the right things to revise my diet for it to be working!
Just some changes over the past week: more healthy options, less snacks, slightly lower calories, more water and more consistent exercise.
And it did not feel overly restrictive.

So the cost of it is totally worth it for me - peace of mind and feeling empowered about reaching the goal weight in a couple of months!
Speaking of cost, the first month is going to cost me ~$100, subsequent months $25.
I think I'll stick with it for at least 3 month - 2 months to reach the desired weight and one extra to reach my exercise goal (half-marathon) and maintain the weight goal.

Highly recommend! pm me if you'd like a 20% subscription discount link, or, maybe, there are coupons on the internet...

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

It's been a while since I posted. Life is full and there did not seem much to report.
Financial side: things are ticking along. Obviously with the market downturn calculated NW is down, however, since we are not planning on taking the $ out any time soon, we stay the course.
Last months' spending wasn't tracked as closely (by me, I still do a collective budget with DH, but categories there look a little different). My app has been playing up, losing connecting to the banks, and the desire hasn't been there to fix it. There probably are a few additional expenses for health and miscellaneous, but not worrisome.

Regarding goals for the year 1. Finish writing and editing the book that I started during NaNoWriMo
- have not come back to this yet, no bandwidth - 0

2. Reach and maintain 122 lb weight
+1 - been running a lot more and tracking foods with Noom app. Not much to report on the weight loss front, but definitely eating healthier and exercising more, so a change in the right direction

3. Run a half-marathon (means to goal#2)
+ 1 have been running regularly. 9.5 miles on my longest run so far

4. Learn to play Amazing Grace on a Native American flute
-1, not practiced :(

5. Read 12 books
3 books still in progress (no change) - Heaven, TheArt of Reading Minds, According to Plan
Previously read: Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis, Psychology of Money by M Housel, Little Fires Everywhere by C. Ng
Added: Early Retirement Extreme (finally got a book from the library!), Upstream by D. (or C.?) Heath

6. Ski 12 times
all up skied 9 times this year. The season is no over, did not reach 12, but it was a stretch goal, so I am quite pleased with 9 times

8. Write 12 letters
wrote 4 so far

9. Go car camping again (aiming at least twice)
0

11. Take the youth we are mentoring out hiking
had a few good outings, no hiking yet
0

12. Visit friends in MN
0

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Goals update May 2022

Post by not sure »

May has been stressful - a few things going on at work, preparing curriculum for the Science class I'll be teaching in June, COVID, and a few other things sprinkled in-between. So some progress on goals has been slow

1. Finish writing and editing the book that I started during NaNoWriMo
- have not come back to this yet, no bandwidth - 0

2. Reach and maintain 122 lb weight
0 - still running, and generally a lot more exercise and movement per week. Eating has been bad (snacking) due to stress, and then being sick. Still working on those habits and behaviours. So a net of 0

3. Run a half-marathon (means to goal#2)
+ 1 have been running regularly. 11.3 miles my longest run so far

4. Learn to play Amazing Grace on a Native American flute
-1, not practiced :(

5. Read 12 books
+1 Finished reading Heaven by R. Alcorn, Exercised by D. Leiberman.

2 books still in progress (no change) - The Art of Reading Minds, According to Plan
Previously read: Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis, Psychology of Money by M Housel, Little Fires Everywhere by C. Ng
Early Retirement Extreme (finally got a book from the library!), Upstream by D. (or C.?) Heath
This makes it 7, not counting the stuff I read on setting up a living trust and designing my Science curriculum

6. Ski 12 times
0, all up skied 9 times this year. The season is now over, did not reach 12, but it was a stretch goal, so I am quite pleased with 9 times

8. Write 12 letters
+1 wrote two additional, makes it 6 in total

9. Go car camping again (aiming at least twice)
+1 made plans for a trip in October

11. Take the youth we are mentoring out hiking
had a few good outings, no hiking yet
0

12. Visit friends in MN
0

not sure
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

all around, I am happy with how I've picked up exercising.
I am excited to get out of bed in the morning, often go for a run before work and am making plans for other active things like cycling, dancing, some strength classes.
I'd like to keep that up and make it something I devote time to. Time is a limited resource, and this is worth prioritising.
I'd like to continue to engrain this as a habit to take into post-full time work phase.
Not sure when that's going to be ;-)

This summer, with some stressful activities being completed, I'd like to focus on the eating habits and bring that to a point I am content with.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Another month almost gone by.

What a whirlwind it's been!
DH and I attended a wedding in Hawaii,
I started teaching the Science class and *almost* finished developing the curriculum!

My proudest moment was receiving payment for the latter. One of my unspoken goals was to start diversifying income streams. At the start of the year I thought I would make something with my hands & sell, but it turned out other skills were at work.
I painted a wine glass as wedding present, so also counts :)
I am not focusing on activities that bring the most return, just on things that I would do anyway to generate income in principle.

And praise be to God for His provision - we continue to pull full time salaries in the main line of work.

A couple of other updates - continue to read the journals (here and other places) from people who've had a sabbatical in the middle of their accumulation phase. The idea sounds attractive. I've been analysing lately what my ideal day/week looks like, and work is definitely part of it, but only a part. So I'd like to explore what it feels like to have days dominated/filled by other things for a change.
Still thinking about my "line in the sand" date of June 2023.

Continue preparing for the half marathon - coming up in 10 days now!
Weight loss has been on the back burner with a stressful and very full couple of months. Would like to prioritise it more in July/Aug.
I've actually gone backwards in terms of the overall weight due to vacation and stress eating, but my eating has been healthier since April and some of the gain's been muscle, so I am not worried. Still, would like to give it more pointed attention.

Finished reading "Think Again" by A. Grant and re-read some of Atomic Habits.
Reading Desiring God by J Piper with a book group.

MBBboy
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Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by MBBboy »

Almost race time! How is the weather looking?

not sure
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

The race went extremely well, @MBBboy, thanks for asking!
It had a smaller town feel; between the half-marathon and 5k, maybe 150 runners tops. Ended up being very pleasant - did not have to fight the crowd. My pace was much quicker than in training, thanks to a well marked course and adrenaline. I am not a runner, more of a jogger, but did my personal best coming in just over 2 hours.

The course was very scenic, we started very early in the morning, and it was pretty flat. So the race did not feel like work until mile 8 or 9!
Mission accomplished :-D

I continue to jog in the mornings - somewhat longer runs on the weekends, 2-4 miles during the week.
Overall, it got me back to enjoying the process of running, and for that I am very grateful.

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Goals update June/July 2022

Post by not sure »

I've been reading the forums but not posting much. Not sure what the main thrust of this journal is/should be, so don't know what to post.
Probably an update on goals, since it's something I've begun.
Many of them have been changing over the past few months, I've dropped a few and acquired new ones, so the list no longer represents what I want to accomplish this year. I guess I should still post about it, even if it's for myself to look back on...

1. Finish writing and editing the book that I started during NaNoWriMo
- been mulling over it, and the critical mass for picking it up again isn't there. My mentor is starting to ask when he can see a draft, so maybe his nudging will motivate me eventually. Summer has been very full of other good activities, so this is squarely on the backburner.

2. Reach and maintain 122 lb weight
Been able to devote more time to this since getting back from vacation in June.
I am almost at the end of my Room course, have about a month and am sitting around 126. I guess it's doable in the next 4 weeks.
I'd like to call it camp "Moderation". When I have my favourite foods in moderation, get enough exercise and do IF for 16/8, I get on a good roll and the weight goes down. Unfortunately, that's when I start slacking off and lose momentum.
For next week, I "put" myself in a self-proclaimed camp "moderation".

3. Run a half-marathon (means to goal#2)
Yeah! Big black CHECK

4. Learn to play Amazing Grace on a Native American flute
-1, not practiced :(

5. Read 12 books
+1
Read a couple of romantic novels that don't count, scanned a few books on low FODMAP diet. Very confusing thing, but such is life. Will be sticking to it till the end of August

2 books on the go: Hacking of the American Mind, Desiring God
2 books on hold - The Art of Reading Minds, According to Plan

Previously read: Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis, Psychology of Money by M Housel, Little Fires Everywhere by C. Ng
Early Retirement Extreme (finally got a book from the library!), Upstream by D. (or C.?) Heath, Heaven by R. Alcorn, Exercised by D. Leiberman
This makes it 9, not counting the stuff I read on setting up a living trust and designing my Science curriculum

6. Ski 12 times
0, all up skied 9 times this year. The season is now over, did not reach 12, but it was a stretch goal, so I am quite pleased with 9 times

8. Write 12 letters
-1 Overdue for another one
6 in total

9. Go car camping again (aiming at least twice)
0 no change

11. Take the youth we are mentoring out hiking
+1 Been spending time with him almost every other weekend, biking, beach. No hikes yet

12. Visit friends in MN
+1 made plans to go in August

Other stuff:
- Signed up to a teaching course on English as a Second Language - will be starting next Monday.
- Will be teaching another intake of HiSET Science students; my one student from the last intake passed!
- Completed all the requirements for professional recertification at work - check, just need to pay for re-cert.
- Done most of the health screening I planned for this year. Need to finish a couple of vaccinations and this new diet thing.
- Asked for a work-sponsored trip to a Society of Women in Engineering conference later in the year - may get the funding to go check out Houston
- Reconnected with a couple of old friends overseas - so lovely to talk to them again!
- Continue to volunteer at church, even teaching a little class on prayer this weekend, continue to connect with people
- Prayer life and Bible reading have been pretty solid the last few weeks and even months
- Harvested a few green beans and peas in my little garden. Not getting any zucchini, possibly a pollination problem?
- Completed a couple of crafts mini-projects, quite satisfying!
- Found and picked some shadberry, although probably not allowed on my current diet. Will dry and/or freeze.
- Found a source of wine I like, just bought another few bottles. Very satisfying, although probably not good for weight loss. Thankfully, a glass of wine or beer is allowed on my new diet.
- Still contemplating part time work or reduced hours. However, also interested in maybe pursuing a graduate diploma (possibly in Sustainability) through work.That would tie me to them for another 2 years after completion... Bother sides are tempting for different reasons. I am in no hurry, and I know that the right path will become apparent with time.

not sure
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Four pages into this journal, I am realising that I have not been very good at posting reflections, thoughts, and inner working of the mind's progression towards "ERE" goals. (Whether they are ERE goals is another question).
I benefit immensely from being able to see how others are doing it and have done it over time, so would like to contribute more frequently here.
Recently, I've enjoyed reading the "covid eras" in various journals to see how assumptions and projections become altered when met with unprecedented reality. Coming from a soviet background, that side of my family has always been sceptical about the FIRE concept (collect a stash to live on for the rest of your life). ERE is a bit more understandable to them as it focuses more on self reliance, skills, social capital.
I am not yet sure how I feel about either - my view is still developing.
What I am hoping to do now is accumulate $, but at the same time try on some of the "skins" I'd like to test out for post full-time work.
Like: healthy lifestyle, not delaying spending time with people that matter, developing alternative work source, trying out gardening, etc.
Meanwhile, I continue to pray and mull over what it is that God has in store for me for the next few years.

A wise friend told me yesterday that the destination is the process. Not sure how to interpret that in this case; maybe he meant that during this time of struggle to understand what it is that I'm meant to do, this is the real me, this is the real life, not the one "after".
Gotta think on it some more..

ertyu
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Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by ertyu »

not sure wrote:
Mon Jul 25, 2022 11:07 pm
A wise friend told me yesterday that the destination is the process. Not sure how to interpret that in this case; maybe he meant that during this time of struggle to understand what it is that I'm meant to do, this is the real me, this is the real life, not the one "after".
Gotta think on it some more..
While I'm not religious myself, I'll try to use the framework: when you pray and mull over what god wants for you or has in store for you, you are trying to get a picture of an end state of some sort (not a big stretch for a christian: in christianity, what god wants for us is to "go to heaven" - an end state). So maybe you're trying to imagine an end state: house, garden, location, etc.

But maybe what god wants for you isn't the end state. Maybe what god wants for you is what he's put in front of you right now: god wants you to learn from it by dealing with it to the best of your ability.

or some such

not sure
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Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

well said, ertyu, it may well be
so I continue to try and live the best I can every day
some days it feels like a total mess but when I look back and ponder the journey, some of the things I was able to think, or do, or experience look pretty neat :)

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

I've been meaning to post more frequently here, and, of course, life got in the way of good intentions!
This week I am in MN, visiting old friends from church and ex-colleagues. So glad I added this trip to the list of goals for 2022. It's second best thing to visiting family, and without the list of goals I probably would not have made it. I spent a nice afternoon in the Black Hills visiting Crazy Horse Memorial, and went for a morning jog along the George Mickelson trail. I'd like to come back and do the full trail - 109 mi - either by bike or hiking. The Black Hills is just such a special place; the sky at dusk, the trees and the streams and the meadows - I feel them calling my name :)

I also realised that I don't want a permanent "cabin" in any of the places I find special, like the Black Hills, or the North Shore of Lake Superior, or down in New Mexico. There are just too many! I think what I'd really enjoy is some kind of rig/car that I can take to those places and camp for a few weeks in the year.

not sure
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Checking MN trip off as complete!
Highlights of the drive back to CO:
- too long, definitely too long
- stayed with friends in rural Iowa - interesting to see small town life (~2,500 ppl), farming community, kids' trampolines in every 5th back yard, almost no fences around properties, some small and some quite large houses, no traffic. A blessing to visit with old friends, but I probably could not happily live in a town like that.
- Generally prefer driving to flying for long distance trips, if I have time. I like to see the change in nature/scenery, in this case it progressed from corn fields to ranches and oil fields. Interesting to note how communities sprung up along the Platte river, and see St Croix, Mississippi and Missouri rivers all in one trip.
- My comfort level though, is about 4 hours of driving. Beyond that I need a change of activity to keep me awake, stops every 2 hours to keep the body from aching and paining. Anything beyond 7-8 hours of driving in a day is plain painful.
- The treat was coming to CO at sunset - seeing the sun set behind the mountains for the last 45 minutes of the drive reminded me why I like living here. It's good to be home.

not sure
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Re: not sure but i'll try Journal

Post by not sure »

Last couple of weeks have been stressful - too much going on outside of work.
Unfortunately, it reflects on my eating, exercise, sleep, etc. patterns and affects mental and physical health. :( :x not a good place to be
I've been trying to wrap up some of the volunteer things I'm doing that are contributing to busyness, but they keep coming back. I really hope that my involvement with planning workshops for a project management association will be done at the end of August. Its not the time it takes, but the mental energy to talk myself into doing it & stop resenting the fact that other team members are pulling less weight that I think they should. It's purely perception-based, the dissonance is caused when expectation doesn't match reality. I can reason it away in my head, but it still affects the emotions and thus well-being.
And there is one more volunteer involvement that is in the same boat.

Haven't done a thorough fin review/update in a while.I think it'll be good to do at the end of August. August will be an atypical month as more travel, health spending than usual, but also a tax rebate that we received from CO state.

Started a Habit Tracker per J. Clear (analog, on paper) in an attempt to track and improve a few foundational habits for health, well-being and learning

not sure
Posts: 141
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Goals update Aug22

Post by not sure »

Updates on the goals (few of many!) set at the beginning of the year.

These updates are really for me to keep myself accountable

1. Finish writing and editing the book that I started during NaNoWriMo
- sigh, the book is not going anywhere. I started writing reflections (1 page most evenings) to get into a habit of writing

2. Reach and maintain 122 lb weight
- sigh, with August being super-stressful, I am back at the original weight and more. Trying. a a few different things to establish better habits...

4. Learn to play Amazing Grace on a Native American flute
-1, not practiced :(

8. Write 12 letters
+1 Overdue for another one
7 in total

9. Go car camping again (aiming at least twice)
0 no change

11. Take the youth we are mentoring out hiking
+1 Been spending time with him almost every other weekend, biking, beach. No hikes yet


Done Goals:
3. Run a half-marathon (means to goal#2) - done
6. Ski 12 times - The season is now over, did not reach 12, but it was a stretch goal, so I am quite pleased with 9 times
12. Visit friends in MN - done
5. Read 12 books - done

2 books on the go: Desiring God by J. Piper, Blink by M. Gladwell
2 books on hold - The Art of Reading Minds, According to Plan

Previously read: Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis, Psychology of Money by M Housel, Little Fires Everywhere by C. Ng
Early Retirement Extreme (finally got a book from the library!), Upstream by D. (or C.?) Heath, Heaven by R. Alcorn, Exercised by D. Leiberman, Hacking of the American Mind, re-read the first 3 books in the Bridgerton series by J. Quinn
Total: 13
Listened to: Man's Search for Meaning by V. E. Frankl

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