the search for ataraxia

Where are you and where are you going?
take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: the search for ataraxia

Post by take2 »

It's been almost a year since my last update. I've refrained from posting due to a combination of lack of time, general laziness, and the fact that I've been drifting further and further away from my initial intentions of pursuing ERE.

Reading over my old posts I see that my life this past year as improved a lot, mainly due to my perception/attitude vs. any external change. Leading up to my DD's birth I actively focused on exercise, cycling around as my main transport, caring less about work, and getting in some final trips with my DW. DD was born in March and it's been an incredible experience watching her grow in her first few months of life. It's also been a great way for me to stop working as much, both by cutting down procrastination and feeling more comfortable in refusing to take on more than I need to. This has ironically been quite good for me career-wise as I've gotten another substantial raise in the past few months. I suspect I'm still on considerably less than others who are in the aforementioned "finance" track but I genuinely just don't care any more about that.

DW is on maternity leave through the end of the year and so we decided to spend the summer in Portugal, arriving after DD's last round of vaccines. We've been here for about a month now, and will hopefully stay another 5 weeks or so. I'm in the middle of closing a deal in Ireland, but luckily have managed to fly back and forth between Portugal/Ireland as needed and work from Portugal when I don't need to be there. Being off full time would be better, but I'm taking 2 separate week-long holidays (just finished one, another one in a couple of weeks) and that coupled with the weekends is pretty great. My parents are here, along with some cousins who also have young children, and we have some friends from abroad coming to spend some time as well. All in all it's been a great start to fatherhood.

The weather this spring in London was amazing, and during the long Easter weekend I decided to start looking for homes on a whim. I had always said I didn't want to be in UK long-term, and was strongly considering a move to Portugal over the past couple of years. However, the closer I got to actually pulling the trigger the more hesitant I became. When I took a step back and looked at my life in the UK I realised I really like my life. The area we live in is very green, extremely walkable to grocery stores and good primary schools, and is super close to the city centre by bike/metro. Its by far the best situation I've ever lived in as all the other places I've spent time on rely so heavily on car transportation. We can also be in Portugal or DW's home country within half a day door-to-door, and it's the best location within Europe for frequent and cheap(er) options to fly back to NY. Having a house with more space also opens up the door for family/friends to come visit which will become more frequent now that DD is in the picture.

I decided to go all-in, and we had an offer accepted on a 4-bed townhouse with a nice sized garden in the same area we live now. The house needs quite a bit of work (I'm planning on 6-7 months) but I like a project, and we're OK to stay in our 1-bed flat for at least another year if needed. I managed to lock in a very low interest rate (<3%, 5 year fixed) after rates started to rise a bit but before the latest hikes. I didn't take on nearly as much as I could have, so in reality it's not really a stretch for us and I could pay it off after the 5 years (or earlier, but there are penalties for that) if I want to. Things move quite slow over the summer, so we'll probably close in mid-September which suits me fine as I don't plan to be in the UK until then anyway.

I also decided to join the board of governors for a local primary school, likely where DD will attend in a few years' time. I don't really know how British education works, so it's a good way for me to learn about it whilst starting to become more involved in the community. I was a bit surprised when the head governor told me they would love to have me after only a short phone call, but after attending the first meeting it became clear to me that it was mainly comprised of retired folks who were involved for social reasons more than any strict oversight of the school. In any event, I think it will be a good experience and will at least let me see if I do want DD to attend this particular school.

However, this all means the complete opposite direction of ERE. For the past 6 years I've kept an average yearly spend of c. $25k (as low as $14k during lock-down, as high as $33k during wedding spend, but the 6 year average is $25k for just me). With the mortgage starting in September and daycare starting in February our total spend will be closer to $75-80k at current exchange rates (for the family). We're fortunate that we'll still have a healthy savings rate, and that the high spend is only c. 4-5 years, but regardless it's definitely a large shift away from cutting the employment cord and living on a farm in Northern Portugal.

There are some benefits to staying in the game for a while longer. It would make an eventual transition into consultancy-type work easier as I would have more experience/contacts. It also adds a bit of prestige which I really realised when I inquired about the board of governors role at the local primary school. There are some well-known drawbacks as well, but ultimately I now control my time better than I did when I first started and in the worst case scenario I can always just pull the plug without having any real financial consequences.

Anyway, I feel a bit like a fraud by deciding to settle down with a mortgage (and likely eventually a car, dog, etc) after my initial intentions to lead an alternative lifestyle. As a consequence I've been reading the forums less often but the upside is my time has been better spent playing with DD! We'll see if I have any regrets on this decision over the coming months (suspect there will be some during the renovation process!) but for now full steam ahead.

MBBboy
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:11 pm

Re: the search for ataraxia

Post by MBBboy »

No need to feel like a fraud. There are dozens of us (dozens!) who have homes, cars, families, etc who are working towards very early retirements. There's obviously a minimalist sub-current here, but things are relative.

So yeah, make your transition and get settled, find the new equilibrium savings rate. And then ratchet down until it hurts!

Western Red Cedar
Posts: 1205
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:15 pm

Re: anesde's journal

Post by Western Red Cedar »

Thanks for taking the time to post the update. I think there is immense value in seeing journals like this, and the underlying thoughts, evolve over time. I look forward to following along as you find time to post in the future.
take2 wrote:
Tue Sep 21, 2021 8:11 am
I feel a similar struggle and can't help but wonder if my daydreams of living in rural Portugal aren't really a reflection of what I want, but rather just a mental escape from current frustrations. Would I really be any happier spending my days gardening, building out a camper van, raising animals? Maybe? But realistically I've never done those things and I don't do any of them now. They can also easily lead towards a life of isolation (especially if done in a secluded location) which I know is definitely not healthy for me long term.
Establishing roots and pursuing a more conventional lifestyle is definitely a valid choice within an ERE framework in my opinion. Sometimes the alternative lifestyles we dream of come with a lot of costs that we don't fully account for. Building a community and life in London sounds like a great option. Congratulations on all of your success!

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