Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Where are you and where are you going?
TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

@Axel, story time?

AxelHeyst
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by AxelHeyst »

Once upon a time, a naïve young man from the country traveled many miles and came to the city. The tall buildings, miles of endless concrete, and human/mi^2 numbers astonished him.

He met a pretty girl who thought she loved him. He wasn't so sure about that, but he enjoyed getting laid like tile for the first time in his life, so he went along with it.

Nevertheless, it soon became clear to the young man that they wanted different things in life. They simply weren't a good match. He went to tell the pretty girl they should amiably part ways.

But the pretty girl knew the dark arts of emotional manipulation and had weaponized her tear ducts as a survival mechanism from her fucked up childhood, and thought she could hammer the young man into the kind of mate she wanted. So she cried, and cried, and cried, and the young man felt bad, and like maybe he was making some kind of mistake, so they stayed together.

The young man had no defenses for this sort of psychological manipulation, being raised by simple and kind country folk who valued personal agency above all else. It took a while for him to even understand that the pretty girl was trying to control him and make him do - and be - what she wanted, with no regard to his own personhood. The naïve young man became slightly less naïve.

But still, having no defenses against the pretty girl's feminine wiles, it took the young man many, many painful failed attempts* to break up with her before he finally escaped.

The young man lived happily ever after.**



--
*Ever read Sakurazaka's All You Need is Kill? (They made a movie out of it, Edge of Tomorrow, with that one guy in it.)

**Actually the young man had to then go spend a full five years with someone else he shouldn't have been with, but that was a different set of lessons he had to learn.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Ha, you think that’s hard, try breaking up with somebody who could literally break you. Additional note being that pretty men will also cry, so then you got the double whammy of guilt AND danger! Sometimes I think the easiest way out is to gain 20 lbs, stop shaving your legs, and behave on a manner that conveys both dull and needy. Of course, you still might run into him at the grocery store 6 months later on a day when you are looking more yourself again , but quick thinking up a lie about your soon to occur move out of state will work at that juncture.

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C40
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by C40 »

TopHatFox wrote:
Fri Oct 22, 2021 10:27 pm
What was it like breaking up with you LT girlfriend? It feels pretty bad to make a pretty girl that loves you cry profusely, even if one was honest that they don't want marriage or kids from the start. :c
Breaking up is tough. That's life. It's not really related to this decision, unless you're asking in relation to your girlfriend. (in which case, I don't have advice)

I agree, the women of the US are almost all overweight, tatted up excessively, or already have kids from another relationship. Even a good portion of the teens or girls in their 20's are overweight. They're also not that nice in my experience.
IDK... Don't assume the grass is greener. They look better, but you might not think Asian women are nice either.
My brother instilled fear in me that it's hard to find wi-fi while working remotely, that living in Asia is extreme, and that I'm an A-hole for considering leaving my GF. I need to stop talking to him, or at least asking him for advice.


Don't burn a bridge with your brother. Wi-Fi is easier in Asia and is far cheaper. Although,... in Vietnam they did have a number of times when the internet was slow (like, slow for a month at a time, a few times a year, supposedly when underwater cables were damaged). That slowdown would be a problem for videoconferences.. But it did always work, just slower.
Is it easy to do short relationship-type arrangements - like for a few months or a year? I don't think I'm ready to settle down yet, but dating in the US is a lot of work for poor returns, so it makes staying in an LTR worth it.
Yes. Far easier than in the U.S.



I should add, that I don't recommend you be changing up your life all at once. It sounds like you're about to get a job, and because of that, you're deciding on all kinds of other things like breaking up with your girlfriend and moving around the world. IMO if possible, it'd be much better to change nothing and get used to the new job for a while.

AxelHeyst
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by AxelHeyst »

I somewhat agree with C40s advice. To be clear, the moral of my story wasn’t to break up with your gf necessarily… it was that if you don’t have the huevos to do what needs to be done when it needs doing, whatever that happens to be, that’s a big problem. Personal growth is highly related to your willingness/ability to have uncomfortable conversations (I’m paraphrasing someone but I don’t remember who). Just keep it in mind, and watch out for what you’re resisting doing. That’s often a sign of what you ought to do.

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TheWanderingScholar
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TheWanderingScholar »

If I were to give some advice as to what to do: stay six months to a year to get use to your job, figure out where you and your girl are gonna stand, and get the visa requirements ready. Because that is also something to consider; the proof of income and requirements for visas might be high wherever you go so best to your paperwork ready for application.

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mountainFrugal
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by mountainFrugal »

My heuristic for romantic relationships is if you cannot see yourself with the person for 2x the time you have already been together it is time to end things. This seems to scale well for regrettable one night stands, medium term, or for longer term relationships. It only works if you know yourself fairly well, know generally what you want, and can have the humility to know that you and your wants will change in the future and as you age (also theirs).

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

Had first day as remote gis geologist. I am the maps. Working remotely is p chill

2Birds1Stone
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

Congrats! The current WFH phenomenon is a game changer.
TopHatFox wrote:
Mon Nov 01, 2021 5:41 pm
Working remotely is p chill
It sure can be. The difference between being able to get household shit/errands/chores done during the workday not only gives you precious time back when you don't have to be tethered to your computer/inbox, but also breaks up the monotony of the day. Each week I try to get 2 1-hour workouts at the gym, grocery shopping, 2 short 30-minute runs, 1 90:00 bike ride, and showering/laundry done during my working "hours". Between that and the lack of commute to an office, it frees up incredible amounts of time on weekends and evenings that used to be crammed with all of the aforementioned activities. When one only has to do 15-20 hours of "work" a week it makes for a tough decision to quit. Back in the days of the office, it was soulsucking to have to kill 20-30 hours a week browsing the web in a cubicle, staring at the outside world from your grey fluorescent perch.

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GandK
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by GandK »

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:23 pm
Ha, you think that’s hard, try breaking up with somebody who could literally break you.
Yes. "A man on a first date fears that this woman could laugh at him. A woman on a first date fears that this man could kill her."

Not suggesting that either is acceptable.

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TheWanderingScholar
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TheWanderingScholar »

TopHatFox wrote:
Mon Nov 01, 2021 5:41 pm
Had first day as remote gis geologist. I am the maps. Working remotely is p chill
Can confirm, am working remotely as well and it is pretty chill. Dread going to the office back in January. Hopefully my Friday interview goes well.

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

Party’s over, looks like this job will require the poke by Jan 2021

Anyone have fake “I got it” slips?

Stahlmann
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by Stahlmann »

how about taking the vaccine...?

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

Nah, I really don’t want to

I’m sure I can survive COVID, but no one has any idea of the long-term effects of such a rushed vaccine. Plus, I’m remote.

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

It was nice knowing you Stahlmann

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Viktor K
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by Viktor K »

I was scared of potential unknown long-term effects as well at first, and still think about it every now and then too.

Stahlmann
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by Stahlmann »

Yea, it finally came out - this poor sap Stahlmann is schilling for big pharma! :lol:

No, seriously - take the vaccine.

Kriegsspiel
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by Kriegsspiel »

It's looking like you'll have to narrow your search to companies under 100 employees + remote work + don't require shots.

Getting rid of the "remote work" part would really open it up. Outside of that, you could look at getting a work visa in a more acceptable country, or entrepreneuring something.

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C40
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by C40 »

if you won't get vaccinated, forget about going to any other countries

---

edit - if you know a right person, it would actually be easy to get a blank vaccination card. A friend of mine accidentally left for home after work with one in her pocket. They didn't have anything to do with vaccinations, so idk why she was dealing with blank cards. But, there didn't seem to be any need for them to take it back

But, don't do that
Last edited by C40 on Sun Nov 07, 2021 7:01 pm, edited 3 times in total.

2Birds1Stone
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

Lulz, potato's gonna potato.

Maybe THF will grace us with another year long posting hiatus, like shortly after;
TopHatFox wrote:
Wed May 13, 2020 4:04 am
I don't know, Corona-chan seems like a scam. ^_^

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