Hristo's FI Journal

[Hristo Botev]

Also hoping that the early morning exercise habit will help to wean me off a couple bad habits I have: 1) snacking after dinner, which I do a LOT of; and 2) drinking after dinner. It's no fun exercising when you are feeling full and bloated from late-night snacking, and it's also no fun exercising when you have a headache and/or otherwise just feel sluggish from drinking too much (even if it's just 2 drinks, instead of 0 or 1) the evening/night before. And while we're at it, I'm going to try and just get out of the habit of consuming the news completely, which is just a time suck that benefits me in no way at all. Instead of consuming the news, I'm going to read--either whatever book I'm carrying with me, or non-clickbaity online articles that I've previously curated by copying the hyperlinks into a Google doc, and that I can read at my work computer or on my phone.

[basuragomi]

Have you tried identifying what triggers you to stay in, and what you want to be in place prior to exercise? If you habitualize rituals in preparation for your workout and minimize avoidance triggers, that might help firm up your habits by incrementally rewarding your brain instead of waiting for the exercise to be the reward.

Some rituals you might already be doing:
- clear your schedule at the same time every week for exercise, and make everyone else respect your exercise time
- sleep at a certain time only before exercise days
- eat certain foods or extra amounts exclusively before/after exercise - e.g. ice cream or an extra piece of meat
- prepare music or podcast playlists exclusively for your exercise
- lay out or change into exercise clothes
- turn off phones, activate blocking software, or unplug monitors the night before
- plan out what specific routes/lifts/activities you will do

If your exercise plan involves spontaneity, when you want to exercise you'll end up choosing between whatever is in front of you (fun, comfortable things) and exercise (unfun, cold). Unless you really love exercising, that's a good way to never exercise again. You need to arrange your life such that exercise is the only choice available when you're at the decision point. You've managed to do this with work, now you need to do it with workouts.

[Hristo Botev]

Thanks; very helpful! Here's what I've set up or will set up:

• I have a Google doc sheet that lists a bunch of exercise routines that I'd like to do and that I can do easily in my family room, on days that I don't want to run outside

• By exercising inside, all I need to do as far as clothes is throw on a pair of shorts, which are in a drawer right next to my bed

• My exercise time is 5:30-6:15 every weekday morning (with a long run on Saturday or Sunday), because if I don't do it first thing in the morning, then it's not going to happen

• I prefer to have enough time in the morning to drink a cup of coffee at home (it's a definite treat) before taking the kids to school and going to work, and that only happens if I wake up at 5:30--so I work out, put the coffee on at about 6, take a shower and dress, and then enjoy a cup of coffee while the madness of the kids getting ready is going on before walking out the door at 7:30

• I always have a podcast queued up, because that's what I listen to on my walks home from work, and the early morning exercise gives me a rare chance to myself (in addition to the 15-minute evening work commute) to finish a podcast, or start a new one

Most importantly, I think, is that DW has decided to start getting up at 5:30 as well to exercise or to stretch or to just go for a walk, before the kids wake up. And she is a LOT better about getting up at a consistent time than I am. So I've asked that when she gets up, she go ahead and turn the lights on and not make any attempt to avoid disturbing me.

As for enjoying exercise, I tend to enjoy running when I'm in decent running shape (which I'm not now). But I definitely don't enjoy running when it's cold outside. And I don't enjoy doing kettlebell and bodyweight exercises. So you're right that I need to prevent all avoidance triggers, so that the only thing I can do at 5:30 is get out of bed (DW turning on the lights and being noisy will help with that), and the only thing I can do when I get out of bed is exercise, because I can't turn on the TV (kids are asleep) and I'm not awake enough to read or do any work until I get my coffee and shower.

[ertyu]

Sounds like a plan! I'm another person who jealously guards the first morning cup of coffee at home, so I empathize! Good luck!

[mooretrees]

Enjoyed that article about habits, provided some definite food for thought. Good luck with the exercising, it sounds like you've put the thought into making a solid habit.

[Hristo Botev]

Based on that article and some stuff I've read since as I journeyed down that rabbit hole, seems like a better New Year's Resolution would be "exercise every weekday morning," as opposed to "lose 25 pounds." And "read books in the evenings after the kids go to bed instead of watch TV," as opposed to "read a book a week."

I seem to remember being exposed to this systematically back in college, when Stephen Covey's monthly/weekly/daily planners were all the rage. But it never really stuck. I've developed some good habits over the past 20 years (and a whole lot of bad ones), but if I'm being honest, probably every one of those good habits is the result of my wife's positive influence on my life. I got good grades in law school because my wife dropped me off at the law school on her way to work, and so I had nothing to do for the first several hours of the morning before my first class but to go to the library and study. I started to go to weekly Mass because I wanted to make my wife happy, and that practice is now so ingrained that I can't imagine not starting my week off with Mass. I got my professional career off to a very good start because I got into the office a couple hours before everyone else did (and therefore billed more hours than my peers), and I got into the office so early because my wife is an early riser and I wanted to be able to leave the office as close to 5 or 6 as I could so that I could spend time with my wife and then my kids.

So I guess the point for me to realize is that in everything that is good and beautiful in my life, my wife is the key. Something for me to remember if I want to develop new, positive habits--figure out a way to make my wife an integral piece of making that habit a reality.

And I think ultimately that's just why marriage is so important, at least for men (and especially young men). As a young man with no particular desire to live a virtuous life, I just wasn't particularly concerned about disappointing myself by not achieving some grand goal I'd set for myself. But as a married man, I (then and now) hate the idea of disappointing my wife, and not living up to the person that she thinks that I am. She's an extension of God in that way. She's known me long enough (since middle school) to know what I look like when I am fully alive, and so she also knows very well when I am not living up to that.

"The glory of God is a human being fully alive!" - St. Irenaeus

[Hristo Botev]

I had my annual review today at work, during which our firm's owners said they were polling everyone about whether, going in to next year, they'd prefer to get (a) a $Y raise to their regular income, or (b) a profit-sharing (non vested) contribution to their 401K in the amount of $Y x2. Apparently I was the only one to select (b). Am I crazy? This seems like a no-brainer to me.

[Cheepnis]

I'm nto 100% sure how a profit-sharing program like that works, but intuitively your choice doesn't seem crazy to me. I think most people only consider the money they can "see". Hence why that $230/m payment for 8 years seems like a good deal for that F150. There's a far bigger picture than just that monthly payment, but it's easier not to look at it.

[Hristo Botev]

3 weekdays in on the 5:30 am wake-up/exercise habit, and so far so good. This morning was a great example of why this particular habit is so vital to me actually incorporating exercise into my day. At 5:30 my alarm went off and DW and I both jumped right out of bed, lights on, and she turned on the TV in our room to the local morning news (which I HATE watching). So I was changed and out the door beginning my morning run by 5:40. I was done with my 30-minute run by 6:10, and DW began her run by 6:15. By the time our kids were up at 6:45, we learned that Kid1 has a fever and won't be able to go to school, which COMPLETELY throws off our schedules--in this instance, it means I go in to work from about 7 to about 1, and DW goes in to work from about 1 to 6/7, supplemented by doing work from home. Had we not knocked out our exercises early, they likely would not have gotten done, given how crazy our schedule will be today.

[Hristo Botev]

“We value work more than any other culture in the history of the world,” he said. “We value work as an end in itself.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/08/busi ... _KFEWmNTrM

The article is less about how much we work and more about a transition to a 4-day workweek specifically. But I'd love to read the book that was quoted: “Free Time: The Forgotten American Dream"; unfortunately it appears to be out of print and is not available at my library. I'd love to see an academic (or, better yet, quasi-academic) story focusing on what "ends" were displaced by work. If not work, then what? The eternal question of this forum.

[Hristo Botev]

Sigh. DW and I are putting together January's budget, based on 2019 actual expenditures, and it's depressing. For one, we decided to do an auto-transfer to savings each month for 2020 to try and flatten the monthly roller coaster that is expenditures for kids' aftercare and summer and holiday camps (when we have to work but they are out of school), and their sports and other extra-curriculars. DW estimates $1,000 per month, based on what we spent last year, and knowing that we'll get to stop paying aftercare for the next school year when our kids are able to walk home and DW can adjust her schedule. So $12,000 a year. That's a surprisingly big number. It's cheaper than what we were paying when the kids were in daycare, but not by a whole lot, and it's evidence that the cost savings you get when your kids finally finish daycare are actually not that significant, because those costs get replaced with extra-curricular activities as the kids get older. Of course that estimated $12K is in addition to to what we pay for the kids' Catholic school tuition. I'm tempted to do what a lot of people on this forum do and just calculate what my own, individual spending is, versus our families' spending as a whole.

[Hristo Botev]

So, because I know how you all love to deride us big spenders, here you go:

2020 Anticipated (Realistic) Monthly Budget

Set Costs
- Mortgage (15-year): $1,865
- HOA: $254
- Kids' School Tuition: $1,644
- Life Insurance: $59
- Car Insurance (1 car): $35
- Kids' Rec/Camps/Aftercare Set-Aside: $1,000
- Charitable Giving: $400
- Kids' Allowance: $36
- Internet: $30
Set Costs Total: $5,323

Variable Costs
- Utilities: $150
- Cell Phones (x3): $60
- Groceries: $400
- Alcohol: $100
- Home Improvement/Repair: $100
- Restaurant: $250
- Dog: $100
- Gifts: $250
- Travel/Entertainment: $250
- Car (gas and maintenance): $50
- Clothing: $50
- House Cleaner (yep, still got her - twice a month): $240
- ATM: $100
Variable Costs Total: $2,100

Total Spending: $7,243

This is frustrating to see in black and white, but I have to remind myself that this is progress. In a prior life (i.e., 2 years ago), our total monthly spending averaged well over $15,000, and that was with kids in public school. But we made major dents in housing and transportation by moving to a small townhouse within walking distance of work and school, such that we are able to drop from 2 cars to 1, and which cut our mortgage by half (even with going from a 30 to a 15-year). I honestly doubt we'll be able to make any serious cuts to any of the other line items, though I'd like to. So I think as long as our kids are in the house and we have a mortgage, we're likely stuck with about $7,000 - $7,500 in monthly spending (though that's about $1,800/person).

[Hristo Botev]

Annual review--looking back at my 2019 resolutions, as I sit at my desk during my lunch hour

Just for the hell of it, non-work related New Year's resolutions for 2019:

- Average 50%+ savings rate for the year (this is an ERE forum, after all) we were at 48% through the first 6 months of the year, then we stopped tracking, which means we likely fell pretty far short of hitting 50% for the whole year

- Pray daily (suscipe; St. Joseph's prayer; rosary; kids' prayers; examen; lectio divina)daily prayer yes, but mostly limited to evening prayers with the kids

- Monthly confession Didn't go even once; though I'm told my parish priest administered last rites (anointing of the sick) to me in October at the hospital when I was close to death and heavily medicated with pneumonia--so, clean slate! (but that's definitely cheating)

- Monthly adoration I went just a couple times; really no excuse why I don't go more frequently

- Yearly retreat I didn't go on retreat this year, though that's because my priority was to get DW to go on one for her first time, which she just did this past weekend, and she loved it; planning on doing a weekend silent retreat during Lent in 2020

- More board/card games with kids yes

- More family hikes and public park time sort of; definitely lots more family walks now that we've moved closer to the city center; but my kids aren't really at an age anymore where I can "force" them to go on a hike with me--also, our weekends now are spent mostly getting our kids from one sporting event to another

- Be a better dog owner, and specifically, more walks and trips to the park sort of; the move close to the dog park has certainly helped

- Make my bed daily, and don't allow dishes to pile up in the sink surprisingly, yes

- Read more books (aim for a book a week); listen to more music and podcasts; and watch less TV sort of; DW and I have been much more deliberate in our TV watching, and I've certainly made reading more of a priority--but I certainly did not read 52 books this year

- Schedule each day and stick to it (including up at 5:30 and asleep by 9:30) not consistently; but I improved

- Workout 5x week (HIIT run; HIIT body weight exercises; HIIT run; power lifts with weights; distance run, swim, or bike) not even close

- Shower at the gym to save money on gas N/A, as I quit the gym membership

- Start 2019 with Whole30 in January, and eat more whole foods and drink significantly less throughout the year after January I did a Whole "18," as I recall--it's a really stupid diet; definitely did not cut back on drinking during the rest of the year

- Weight to 160 Ha! I got close (167 lbs) in October because I lost 20-25 lbs due to the pneumonia, but I've put most of that back on

- Actively participate in selected social/religious/professional organizations yes, surprisingly: Knights of Columbus, Sunday School teaching, and studying Canon Law to be able to advocate on behalf of Catholics seeking marriage annulments and the like; also have been a little more involved in prof'l orgs this year

- Always think bike/walk first, car second YES! to the point that we are now a 1-car family

- More handwritten correspondence at the beginning of the year; not really something I aspire to anymore

- Agree to monthly budget and stick to it nope, not even close

- Spend more time with friends who have a positive impact in my life, and less with those who don't yes, for the most part; definitely am trying to do more of this in 2020

- Tackle honey-do items around the house as I encounter them, rather than waiting to tackle them at some indefinite time in the future yes, mostly; and I'm taking on more complicated projects now

[Hristo Botev]

And now for 2020 (this is a list I'll likely revise over the course of the next couple weeks):

- At least 1 silent weekend retreat
- Further develop DIY skills (including home maintenance, gardening, and mending clothes)
- Track spending every month with a goal to average 50-60% savings rate
- Focus 2020 traveling on visiting friends and family
- Run first half-marathon (Spring) and first full marathon (Fall)
- Weight to 160 (the perpetual goal)
- Wake up at 5:30 every weekday morning and do some sort of physical activity (run, kettlebell/bodyweight exercises)
- Cook more with raw ingredients; more vegetables; less meat; less restaurants
- Limit alcohol to 1 drink a day, except for social events--perhaps I can achieve this by making it a habit to drink hot tea in the evenings (funny that's not where the word teetotaler comes from)
- Host small dinner parties
- More reading (aim for a book a week); less TV
- Monthly confession
- More hiking--with family and also by myself (which I can achieve by being more efficient with my time at work)
- Pick up at least one new hobby: gardening, learn piano or guitar, writing non-fiction, beer making, and/or foreign language
- Continue increasing involvement in civic/religious/professional organizations

[Hristo Botev]

Yesterday, the general contractor got back to us with his quote ($60K-$68K) for renovating 2 full baths (the master and our daughter's) and 1 half bath, adding a full bath to the basement for our son, and renovating the kitchen. Before we got the quote, but after we met with the contractor, DW already had decided that we could renovate the kitchen and our daughter's bathroom ourselves, and that the contractor would just add the full bath to the basement and renovate the master bath. Now, having gotten the quote, DW has decided that we can do the master bath ourselves and that our son really just needs a half bath in the basement, rather than a full. Progress. Lots of DIY and honey-do items on my list now, but I'm looking forward to them (and looking forward to NOT paying a contractor).

[Hristo Botev]

Perhaps I'll separately post this on the skills/tools board, but in lieu of hiring a contractor for home renovation, I'm planning for the kitchen to: (a) strip and paint the cabinets; (b) remove the cabinet doors and hardware and replace them with IKEA doors/hardware; and (c) where possible/needed, convert cabinet shelving to deep drawers, and change out the hinges and/or drawer slides. I'm also planning on painting the entire main floor and refinishing the wood floors. For my daughter's bathroom, which has a leaking shower, it looks like the best fix is to put another layer of tiles over the current floor, with fresh/better grout, etc. Assuming that works then I will then repatch the ceiling below her shower where we had to remove the ceiling drywall because of the leak. For the master bath, we've decided we can live with the weird jacuzzi tub/shower contraption, and so I'll start with just painting the walls (they are bright yellow right now, which is a bit much). And eventually I might feel confident enough to retile the floors and replace the cabinets. As for adding a basement bathroom, I'm going to leave that to a contractor, sooner rather than later hopefully.

I have almost no experience with these sorts of DIY projects, but I guess it beats golfing or some other expensive pastime. And YouTube seems to be my friend.

[Hristo Botev]

December 2019 net worth numbers

Net worth w/o house: $473,303
Net worth w/ house: $624,358
% of $1.8m target net worth: 35%
Net worth change from last month: $13,519
Net worth change from December 31, 2018: $127,003
Monthly PPI from total net worth: $2,081.19
"True" PPI (excluding house, 529 from net worth): $1,471.16

Trying to get back in the habit of posting monthly numbers, to try and keep us on track. But I don't have any concrete savings rate numbers for December, I just know it was bad (mostly gift-giving and travel). DW and I huddled up and agreed upon a budget for January, which has some line item amounts that are way higher than I'd like, but which are likely more realistic given past spending activity, and given that we've got a couple trips planned for the month. The budget would put us right at about a 50% savings rate.

Set Costs
Mortgage: $1,865 (15-year)
HOA: $254
Kids' Tuition: $1,644
Life Insurance: $59
Car Insurance: $39
Kids' Rec/Camps/Aftercare: $1,000
Church/Charity: $500
Allowance: $34
Internet: $30
Set Costs Total: $5,425

Variable Costs
Utilities: $150
Cell Phones (x3): $60
Groceries: $500
Alcohol: $75
Home Improvement: $100
Restaurant: $400
Dog (most boarding for trips): $400
Gifts: $50
Travel/Ent.: $500
Car: $50
Clothing: $50
Cleaner: $240
"Beauty": $50
Variable Costs Total: $2,625
Total Spending: $8,050

[Hristo Botev]

In other news, I saw that one of our local Catholic high schools has an opening for a social studies teacher (/ athletics coach). Because it's a Catholic/private school, you don't need a teaching certificate, just a degree in the primary field, which I have. I came close to applying, but ultimately decided that I'm not quite ready to give up practicing law full time. Perhaps in about 5 years I'll be ready to transition to a teaching career. Also, I'm really, really enjoying living so close to work and being a one-car family, and the teaching job would involve a pretty ugly commute (whether by car or bike).

As for my law practice, I've resolved to focus on earnings in 2020. My first two years at my new firm I've been largely coasting, enjoying the break from big-law. But for 2020 I'd like to focus on taking advantage of the bonus and business development incentives built into my pay structure, which could result in a doubling of my take-home pay.

Also, DW is considering switching hospitals, which would result in a big pay bump for her for essentially doing the same work she is doing now. As a manager, she's been frustrated for several years at how reluctant her current hospital is to match market pay for her specialty, which means DW has a very hard time hiring and retaining good talent, which makes her day-to-day a grind. The new job will certainly be full of its own unique difficulties, but pay at least won't be one of them, as the prospective hospital is generally the market leader for pay.

So, 2020 has the potential to be a banner year for our family income (well, a post-big-law banner year).

[Hristo Botev]

To pat myself on the back (which I know I do a lot of in this journal), it was raining hard this morning as I was heading out for work, and I came very close to grabbing the car keys and driving in rather than walk. But I really value the 15-20 minutes I get of time to myself during my walks to/from work, and it's also the only time I get on a regular basis for listening to podcasts and audiobooks (and I'm really enjoying the 30 for 30 podcasts at the moment). So I grabbed the big umbrella, my rain jacket, and some rain boots, and apart from the bottom of my jeans getting a little wet, it was fine; peaceful even, as the roads and sidewalks were a bit quieter. I know it's not exactly revolutionary that I walked to work in the rain, but that's one more excuse for driving that is gone.

[Hristo Botev]

Next month a group of friends is going to a concert at a popular medium-sized music venue in town. The tickets are relatively cheap for a musician who is relatively hot at the moment (just $21/each); but man alive, the service fees for 8 tickets would have totaled over $70!!; whether ordering online or over the phone. I just couldn't stomach the absurdity of such exorbitant, pointless fees, so I left work right at 5 yesterday to try and give myself enough time to walk home, change into biking clothes, and bike the ~3.5 miles to the music venue before the box office closed at 6, as the only way to avoid the fees was to buy directly from the box office. I made it in time and was successful in getting the tickets (without the fees), but as soon as I hopped off my bike at the box office I immediately remembered: (a) I haven't ridden a bike more than a mile at any one time since I switched to my new job almost 2 years ago; (b) I'm an overweight and out-of-shape 41-year-old; and (c) I was intubated with a severe case of pneumonia just over 2 months ago. I almost blacked out at the box office from overexertion, simply from riding harder than I should have on a mere 3.5-mile bike trip. Needless to say I took it a little bit easier on the ride back home.

Regardless, the experience was totally worth it for me and my friends to save $70, collectively. What a scam! Where is Lars Ulrich when you need him?