Farm life and Semi-ER

Where are you and where are you going?
horsewoman
Posts: 159
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2019 4:11 am

Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Thu Oct 10, 2019 1:13 am

Jin+Guice wrote:
Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:13 am
@horsewoman: Thanks for the reply. I think we have a lot of similarities. 15h/ week is also my sweet spot. What type of office job do you have and how did you find it?
Yeah, I noticed this as well that we seem to share a few traits :)
My office job is of the regular variety - I manage the office of a small business with around 15 employees - the employees being social workers. I do everything apart from payroll (this is super complicated in Germany, you need a special training for this which I lack and have no interest in getting. We outsourced it.)
I found the job through classified adds, and what attracted me to it was the fact that the company is a) small and b) is in the social sector. Small businesses tend to be appreciative of scanner/multipod personalities like mine. I hate to be micro managed and made that very clear in the interview, which was fine with my two bosses because they know nothing about running an office! OTOH I could confidently promise that I can handle about everything thrown at me and solve problems in a creative way. So far it is a perfect fit.
Jin+Guice wrote:
Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:13 am
I also fill most of my free time with music. What did you do to improve your vocal skills?

I'm also struggling with gardening and investing. Good luck on these fronts :) !
Re: Vocal skills - When I started to get serious about music I took weekly lessons for 3 years. At this point I felt like this teacher could not teach me anything new. There are not many singing teachers in my rural area so I have been hitting youtube for exercises. This is of course a mixed bag but after my years of lessons I feel somewhat confident to chose legit teachers/exercises.
My favorite is Mark Baxter. He emphasizes keeping the volume even while vocalizing through your registers. I've found this extremely effective and do it daily. My voice is strong, flexible and I'm gaining range slowly but constantly.

Another channel I enjoy is "the naked vocalist" - those guys are total nerds which of course appeals to a nerd :)

Jin+Guice
Posts: 465
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2018 8:15 am

Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by Jin+Guice » Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:46 pm

Damn that job sounds sweet. I've never worked in an office, it sounds easy compared to watching people get sliced open by primadonnas and needling unconscious people in the butt. I would like to do something with math or economics though. Social work is also cool, I have some friends who work in that field and I've been harassing them about getting me a job, but everything they tell me about requires a car.



How much natural talent did you feel you had in singing? How long before you felt comfortable singing on stage? Did you sing lead or just BVs?

Thanks for the nerd recommendation. I'm a total nerd too. Expect compared to everyone here. Man these guys are nerds.

horsewoman
Posts: 159
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2019 4:11 am

Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:04 am

Jin+Guice wrote:
Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:46 pm
Damn that job sounds sweet. I've never worked in an office, it sounds easy compared to watching people get sliced open by primadonnas and needling unconscious people in the butt. I would like to do something with math or economics though. Social work is also cool, I have some friends who work in that field and I've been harassing them about getting me a job, but everything they tell me about requires a car.

It is sweet! Office work can be dull as hell though if you end up in the wrong company. I've lucked out this time!
Here in Germany you need at least a bachelors degree in a certain social studies program to be able to work with government agencies - who pay for and outsource assignments to companies in the private sector. Our social workers do drive a lot, too!
Jin+Guice wrote:
Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:46 pm
How much natural talent did you feel you had in singing? How long before you felt comfortable singing on stage? Did you sing lead or just BVs?

Thanks for the nerd recommendation. I'm a total nerd too. Expect compared to everyone here. Man these guys are nerds.
Actually, I'm on the fence about the whole "talent" - thing. I'm more inclined to think that if one is physically able to do something, interest, dedication and practice determine how good one will get. I'm always a little annoyed when people tell me "You are so talented! I wish I could do that!" Well, actually I put in an hour of practice almost every day, either on an instrument or on my voice. So I'm rather determined to be the best singer I can be, however good that may be.

In regard to singing on stage, I seem to have very little nerves or stage fright in general. I love to be on stage! After 2 years of lessons I got into an established band (meaning gigs after 2 months of rehearsals). First I was second voice (alto to a soprano) in a folk band, after a year or so we started to play new songs in keys I could sing the lead as well. In my current rock band I'm the classic "female front", singing lead and mostly on my own, apart from some harmonies my band mates attempt :)

Are you in a band as well, or are you specialized on studio/mixing? (BTW do you follow Glenn Fricker on Youtube? Hilarious!)
Jin+Guice wrote:
Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:46 pm
Thanks for the nerd recommendation. I'm a total nerd too. Expect compared to everyone here. Man these guys are nerds.
I know what you mean! :) Luckily I have the unshakeable evidence of my teenage daughter telling me disgustedly "Mom, you are SUCH a nerd!", otherwise I would not have felt nerdy at all after joining this forum.

Jin+Guice
Posts: 465
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by Jin+Guice » Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:10 am

horsewoman wrote:
Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:04 am
It is sweet! Office work can be dull as hell though if you end up in the wrong company. I've lucked out this time!
Here in Germany you need at least a bachelors degree in a certain social studies program to be able to work with government agencies - who pay for and outsource assignments to companies in the private sector. Our social workers do drive a lot, too!
I always thought office work sounded dull, but I think it could be alright part-time. I have plenty of degrees and things here in New Orleans are looser, though there are fewer jobs.
horsewoman wrote:
Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:04 am
Actually, I'm on the fence about the whole "talent" - thing. I'm more inclined to think that if one is physically able to do something, interest, dedication and practice determine how good one will get.
I think that there is a wide difference in innate talent, but innate talent is rarely enough and "not having talent" usually won't stop someone from getting good if they are willing to put in the work. This is particularly true in music (except classical and certain kinds of jazz), because the great secret of popular music is that it's relatively easy to play.

Anywho, I was asking because I'm a bad singer and I was wondering if you started out feeling you were similarly bad and how long it took you to feel good enough to ply you wears in a band/ on stage.
horsewoman wrote:
Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:04 am
Are you in a band as well, or are you specialized on studio/mixing?
I am in a band, I play guitar and I'm learning how to play drums. Once I'm able to play drums at a competent level (probably another year or two at least) I want to work on singing so I can at least do background vocals.


I'm not familiar with Glenn Fricker, I'll have to check him out.


Do you have any albums out/ youtubes of live shows?

horsewoman
Posts: 159
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Sat Oct 12, 2019 6:41 am

Jin+Guice wrote:
Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:10 am

Anywho, I was asking because I'm a bad singer and I was wondering if you started out feeling you were similarly bad and how long it took you to feel good enough to ply you wears in a band/ on stage.
...
Do you have any albums out/ youtubes of live shows?
No I never thought that I was a bad singer. I never struggled with pitch, if I have any innate ability in this regard it is hearing very well and translating it into music. But it was the lessons that gave me real confidence to go on stage. I felt that I was knowing what I was doing. I have zero fear of public speaking, even in front of huge crowds, which helps a lot on stage.
On another note, it has been made clear to me pretty early how shallow people are. If you are optically pleasing it matters very little how good you are - sad but true. Even though it annoys me like hell I'm not such a hypocrite as not to acknowledge the benefit of it. I'm in the lucky position that my parents genes assembled in a way that is somewhat close to today's beauty standards (no achievement of mine!). Women have it both harder and easier on that front - harder because you have to transport a certain picture which will be judged ruthlessly. Easier because as long as you are slim & pretty doors will be open for you and people will meet you with positive feelings. At least this has been my lifelong experience, since my personality is rather abrasive it must be the looks :-P Decidedly unfair because no one can help they way she looks (without surgery, that is)! But this is a philosophical discussion for another day :) It was just meant to explain why I do not have any apprehensions going on a stage.

Yes I have 3 albums out and plenty of stuff online, which I can not really share due to privacy reasons :)
Jin+Guice wrote:
Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:10 am
I am in a band, I play guitar and I'm learning how to play drums. Once I'm able to play drums at a competent level (probably another year or two at least) I want to work on singing so I can at least do background vocals.

I'm not familiar with Glenn Fricker, I'll have to check him out.
You have set yourself up for a daunting task if you want to sing and play drums at the same time! Drums and bass are most difficult to sing to, because the rhythm is often running counter to the melody line (as you are probably aware!) I tried to pick up bass a while back but gave up on it because of the struggles with singing. Just so you know that not your (probably imagined) lack of singing skills is at fault if it does not work very well in the beginning. It is just so much harder as compared to singing without an instrument or the guitar.

While I applaud your approach in first mastering the drums before tackling singing (spreading one too thin is seldom a good idea) you could even now start with a daily warm-up to train pitch and register changes. 5 minutes a day are enough to see some effect. Like I said before, I highly recommend the youtube videos of Mark Baxter, his exercises are easy but super effective. I do 10 minutes of vocalizing most evenings before going to bed.

Jason
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by Jason » Sat Oct 12, 2019 7:10 am

horsewoman wrote:
Sat Oct 12, 2019 6:41 am
Drums and bass are most difficult to sing to, because the rhythm is often running counter to the melody line (as you are probably aware!) I tried to pick up bass a while back but gave up on it because of the struggles with singing.
Off the top of my head, best practitioners (not factoring in taste):

Drums: Don Henley
Bass: Paul McCartney, Geddy Lee

horsewoman
Posts: 159
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Sat Oct 12, 2019 8:25 am

Back to ERE related stuff :) In September we managed a SR of 55% - pretty neat!

I'm following with great interest the discussion in the journals of Gin+Juice, and 2Birds1Stone.
The "will I have enough in old age" question is rattling in my head around as well, considering how little money I have earned all my life.
This is also a topic I often discuss with my dad and my brother, both of whom worry a lot about me in this regard.
They are highly specialized workers in large factories, in well-payed FT supervisor positions and are used to a relatively high income all their life (not compared to what a lawyer or a IT person makes, but very comfortable.)

So they can't get it in their head that I will not need thousands of EUROs a month when I'm old since I never had that much spending money. I'm envisioning my old age (80+) sitting with my husband at our patio, with a good book and if possible a dog at my heel. If I'm not arthritic I'll play some music now and then and sing. Grandchildren wold be nice but are not required. Not an expensive dream, since our home is paid off. I've had so many great experiences even at age 39 that I see no need for going crazy in retirement age!

I would not even know what to do with the kind of money they have - same as I would never consent to spend most of my life inside of a factory producing chemicals that are destroying our environment. OTOH I respect their arguments, because they are both very reasonable, thoughtful individuals who love me very much and have my best interest at heart.
In the end it comes down to trusting myself over them. Their life is not mine. Their experiences differ very much from mine.
Recently I've had a light-bulb moment, as a thought crossed my mind.

Life has thrown some serious curve balls my way and I rose to every challenge with courage and creativity. I seem to be kind of person who, like a cat, lands on her feet no matter how hard I fall or how far I'm flung.

This will stay with me, even when I'm old, at least as long as my faculties are working somewhat. Coupled with the fact that I will always have health insurance and a guaranteed minimum pension here in Germany I refuse to live in fear. I agree with @7w5 who wrote in G+Js journal that offing oneself is preferable to be a nursing case. I've been thinking about that ever since I lost my grandma to cancer when I was a teenager. She suffered horribly and was in so much pain until she could finally die. Some time later I've had a few years with some serious substance abuse going on in my life, which familiarized me with a score of interesting chemicals. I made it out of this phase unharmed, thankfully, but one thought is stuck in my head ever since - it would be great to have a stash of heroin or something like that handy when one is really old, to go out in a blaze before it gets really bad. I realize that this is shocking or macabre to a lot of people, but for me it is very comforting to have a pain-free way out. I don't want to trivialize or glorify drug use, just to be clear. The opium crisis is in the States horrifies me to no end, for example. But it has also benefits to know about the effects of certain chemicals in this regard. There is a lot of misinformation and fearmongering going on, which I can recognize due to my experiences. I think voluntary euthanasia should not have such a bad rep as it does, and hopefully the laws will change in the next decades to decriminalize it.

Phew, heavy stuff! I'm glad that there are hopefully some 35-40 years until I have to seriously think about this!

Jin+Guice
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by Jin+Guice » Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:59 am

@Jason: You're going to come out here with Don Henley and not even mention Levon Helm? Do you even rock classically breaux?



@horsewoman: Thanks for your reply. I do struggle with pitch, but the struggle hasn't been insurmountable. I gig regularly as a guitar player. I have stage fright (which I think is ~15% fear of public speaking and 85% music ego), but I've played enough gigs that I'm usually over it. I've been a little nervous with the new band I'm in because the material is challenging and everyone in the band is so much better than me! I finally felt comfortable about halfway through our last gig, and man, this band is good! We are also all extremely attractive :D , so we are going places!

Re: Attractiveness

Personally I've done a 180 on this. I think you should be as attractive as possible at all times. I also think that while top 1% attractiveness isn't possible for all people, top 10% is for most. I think it's mostly a matter of being in good shape, having good hygiene and having decent style. I don't think it's a matter of buying new clothes every 2 weeks, following fashion trends or getting tons of surgery. Basically, just ERE looking good (Jacob has been less than enthusiastic about this sentiment). I'm a man and I think it's easier for men, the great irony being that most men don't even do the minimum (thus making it even easier for men).



I'm not trying to play drums and sing at the same time! I'm trying to learn one then the other. Thanks for the tip though :) .

If were only going to do one singing exercise for 5 minutes everyday, what would it be?



What's the guaranteed minimum pension in Germany? Do you think it will stay intact until/ when you are old? I'd be fucking set if they didn't change the Social Security laws in the U.S., but most people think that Social Security will pay out less than it currently does by the time I'm old. If you own your house and you're getting some kind of pension and you have low expenses and you're saving 55% while you've still got a kid at home, it sounds like you're golden to me. Of course I need further numerical details to verify golden status.

+1 for offing oneself when you get old. I think it's much trickier to execute this when you're actually there though.

I started out thinking about the trade offs (or what when gives up) for semi-ERE, but I have a bunch of blog posts about the advantages (right now they exist only in my head). If you don't achieve full ERE you miss out on compound interest (assuming you have the skill to get it) and you still have to worry about saving enough for old age retirement. However, I feel like it's a safer/ more interesting strategy to have some adaptability (when life gives you curve balls make cat paws), have a part-time job, have multiple monetizable skills AND have some savings, rather than work a job that you will eventually get age discriminated out of and then rely solely on money and/ or try to develop other skills in old age.

Jason
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by Jason » Sat Oct 12, 2019 10:17 am

Jin+Guice wrote:
Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:59 am
@Jason: You're going to come out here with Don Henley and not even mention Levon Helm? Do you even rock classically breaux?
I just opened my window and through me cred right out it, didn't I.

horsewoman
Posts: 159
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Tue Oct 15, 2019 10:29 am

Jason wrote:
Sat Oct 12, 2019 10:17 am
I just opened my window and through me cred right out it, didn't I.
Happens to the best of us now and then...
Jin+Guice wrote:
Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:59 am

If were only going to do one singing exercise for 5 minutes everyday, what would it be?
My favorite is this one, but it is 15 minutes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_EYyWesCKQ
Another good, easy one is this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nF7RuZ76Qk
I do them with headphones and use a decibel measuring app on my phone, to get a visual for the volume. It sure feels like I keep the volume even but the app tells me different... Singing nerd, what can I say!
Jin+Guice wrote:
Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:59 am

What's the guaranteed minimum pension in Germany? Do you think it will stay intact until/ when you are old? I'd be fucking set if they didn't change the Social Security laws in the U.S., but most people think that Social Security will pay out less than it currently does by the time I'm old. If you own your house and you're getting some kind of pension and you have low expenses and you're saving 55% while you've still got a kid at home, it sounds like you're golden to me. Of course I need further numerical details to verify golden status.

+1 for offing oneself when you get old. I think it's much trickier to execute this when you're actually there though.

I started out thinking about the trade offs (or what when gives up) for semi-ERE, but I have a bunch of blog posts about the advantages (right now they exist only in my head). If you don't achieve full ERE you miss out on compound interest (assuming you have the skill to get it) and you still have to worry about saving enough for old age retirement. However, I feel like it's a safer/ more interesting strategy to have some adaptability (when life gives you curve balls make cat paws), have a part-time job, have multiple monetizable skills AND have some savings, rather than work a job that you will eventually get age discriminated out of and then rely solely on money and/ or try to develop other skills in old age.
I'm pretty sure that SS will always be a thing in Germany. I have no trust that I'll see a lot of the money I am forced to pay into the state pension fund, but I have no qualms about SS. At the moment there are even discussions to raise the amount elderly people should get. How much you might qualify for depends on a few factors and it is not much, but most importantly - decent health care is guaranteed. Since the goal of this whole ERE exercise it to be able to live on very little money I'm not pessimistic in that regard.

The 55% savings rate will be only sustainable for around 5 years, unfortunately. We will loose a largish junk of passive income then, but on the other hand the end of private school for our daughter will arrive around that time as well. Since neither of has plans to up our worked hours getting costs down will be my main focus until then. I'm looking forward to your posts as I totally agree with adaptability over a highly specialized (and likely well paid) job.

horsewoman
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Fri Oct 18, 2019 1:35 pm

Our rooster died yesterday, RIP old fellow. 2 more chickens left. We will not continue keeping birds since we do not eat meat and have given up on eggs pretty much. Not because we are going vegan, but when you don't kill your birds you'll end up with a flock of old hens that don't lay eggs. So I learned to cook without eggs, and after a while, the taste became simply too much. Egg is all I taste if some are in dishes or baked goods.
It will be strange to be without chickens since we got the first ones immediately after buying the farm. On the other hand, we had always problems with rats, because of the chicken feed. So if the last two are gone, that's it.

A friend gave me a basket of nashi pears, very delicious! They look like apples and are super juicy. I saved some seeds to try to grow such a tree. My gardener husband was really happy since this was the first time in history that I showed an actual interest in fruit trees (we have really a lot of fruit trees, mostly with fruit that does not really taste well! Or is wormy...). He instantly offered to buy such a tree for me, but in the spirit of the ERE principles, I want to try to grow our own from the seeds! Or get an offshoot of my friends tree, in case there are some.

I've started to re-read the ERE book, I'm curious if I understand some things better on the second go.

steveo73
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by steveo73 » Sun Oct 27, 2019 11:40 pm

horsewoman wrote:
Sat Oct 12, 2019 8:25 am
The "will I have enough in old age" question is rattling in my head around as well
This is a big question that I think we all need to be careful with but maybe not too careful or we will be working forever.
horsewoman wrote:
Sat Oct 12, 2019 8:25 am
I agree with @7w5 who wrote in G+Js journal that offing oneself is preferable to be a nursing case. I've been thinking about that ever since I lost my grandma to cancer when I was a teenager. She suffered horribly and was in so much pain until she could finally die. Some time later I've had a few years with some serious substance abuse going on in my life, which familiarized me with a score of interesting chemicals. I made it out of this phase unharmed, thankfully, but one thought is stuck in my head ever since - it would be great to have a stash of heroin or something like that handy when one is really old, to go out in a blaze before it gets really bad. I realize that this is shocking or macabre to a lot of people, but for me it is very comforting to have a pain-free way out.
My dad was a doctor (now retired) and my mum a nurse (very recently retired). My grandma (on my mums side) suffered terribly through multiple strokes during her end of life phase. I remember going to see her and I think she was so happy (but it could be sad) to see me that she was crying. She couldn't talk though and her body was all twisted due to the strokes. Mum and dad do not want to be resuscitated if they are at their end of life and regularly state this to us.

As for nursing homes a lot of people end up there and it's often not that bad. It's a big ask to take care of dying people. I would love to care for my parents though.

When it comes to opiates being used to end your life I agree with you. I think my Auntie took too many sleeping tablets to help her on her way.

horsewoman
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:18 am

steveo73 wrote:
Sun Oct 27, 2019 11:40 pm
Thanks for reading and sharing your story! I think it is important to think about these things and to prepare at least a little. I need to write down a patient's provision and encourage my aging parents and in-laws to do so as well. With all these machines a dying body can be attached to it is important to draw some lines to avoid unnecessary suffering for all involved.

I'm taking a rather despondent view at the moment I suppose because the last few weeks have been pretty exhausting. A couple very close to us had a stillborn baby, with only a few weeks to the due date. Seeing someone you care about carrying a tiny coffin to a grave is really heartbreaking. Added to that I had to put some serious overtime in at work (not quite FT, but it sure felt like it) and lots of dates with my band. Which in itself is great, but being a happy bouncy singer on stage right after a baby's funeral is not easy. There is also a lot of awkwardness around such a situation, one never knows if one keeps the right amount of closeness or distance to the grieving parents.

All this is making me feel stretched thin and it reminds me of the time when I was working full-time. There is never an unscheduled moment and I'm rushing from task to task. This does a number on me mentally, I need lots of downtime to be in a good place. My reflux is flaring up again and I'm often anxious. A good reminder to keep expenses down to keep the part-time lifestyle going. At any event I have used up all my (limited) extroversion in the last three weeks, today I'm talking only to my family and spend time with my animals.

Regarding money, were still on track with our 55% savings rate. I wrote it before but it strikes me every month how important it is to keep track of expenses and to be pretty detailed about it. We used to blow 400-500 € a month on stuff that was mostly superfluous. These days our "shopping" category is down to 200, some months 250 €. In this category, I put all spending that is not food, medicine or animal-related, like clothes, gifts, recreational spending, restaurants, travel... There is still room for improvement, but I have noticed that I have put back on the shelf or not ordered some things because I imagined having to type the figure into my spreadsheet. Meet my accountability buddy, the spreadsheet :)

horsewoman
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Sat Nov 02, 2019 4:46 am

Almost every day for the last 15 years I have been scraping tons of horse poop from the ground. It was fun to streamline the process, to find the most efficient tools and develop the least arduous routes around the paddocks. But since these systems are up and working I now need very little brain space for this extremely scintillating job :) I have listened to countless "Perry Rhodan" audio books in the last few years, an old school Sci-Fi series my dad hooked me up with in my teens. Time well spent! But today I noticed that lately I haven't been listening much to audio books, instead I'm using the monotonous work to turn over things in my mind which I read here in this forum. Very nice!

This was today's topic of my musings:
jacob wrote:
Wed Apr 10, 2019 4:09 pm
However, what I think we have in common is that we want to make the world better by finding a way to live it by personal example as opposed to the conventional way of trying to protest-march, raise awareness, or get politicians to regulate whatever we disagree with. IOW, we prefer creating to protesting. Voting with our feet.
This struck me as very apt to the way I try to live my life. People often tell me "you HAVE to go into politics!" because I'm outspoken, and can speak freely and coherently in front of large audiences. While I'd love to incorporate public speaking into my web of goals somehow, politics hold no appeal at all to me. Protests and demonstrations freak me out because of the noise and the huge amount of people. I'd rather go about my life trying to make my family's footprint as small as possible. To make our personal small universe a better place, which will hopefully produce some ripples. It is very heartening to see how large these ripples can possibly be. Like this:
jacob wrote:
Thu Oct 03, 2019 7:50 am
PS: Promoting home cooking cf. eating takeout shouldn't be underestimated wrt cancer risk.
The ripples I was able to produce were of course not so large, but it is nice to observe them nevertheless. If my daughter steps into adulthood with the firm believe that there is another way than becoming a wage slave, I'm content.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Sat Nov 02, 2019 5:50 am

I hear you on the politics. On the occasions I have found myself somewhat sucked into the process it was much like when late-night show host Stephen Colbert (ENTP) was pretending like he was running for president and some people actually took him seriously. This also used to happen to me during business meetings during my brief career in corporate mid-management and during high school math classes. Any time I have had too much coffee and nobody else is raising their hand to offer a solution, I am likely to volunteer something just to keep things lively. Serious downside being that this behavior often leads to assignment of authority/responsibility over some hare-brain project or idea-train I came up with out of nowhere followed by wallow in guilt vortex when I lack follow-through energy and others are depending on me. I believe this is why ENTPs are highly likely to suffer from fear of success.

bigato
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by bigato » Sat Nov 02, 2019 1:46 pm

What a coincidence, my father also had a pile of these same sci-fi series books lying around.

horsewoman
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Tue Nov 05, 2019 2:58 am

bigato wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 1:46 pm
What a coincidence, my father also had a pile of these same sci-fi series books lying around.
Now this is funny! It is a German series, I had no idea that it is around so far away...
7Wannabe5 wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 5:50 am
Any time I have had too much coffee and nobody else is raising their hand to offer a solution, I am likely to volunteer something just to keep things lively.
LOL, I almost snorted my coffee on the keyboard reading this. This is so me, and exactly what I meant in the other thread about my mouth being faster than my brain. Feelings of regret afterwards aplenty. I'm usually good when it comes to learning from mistakes, only in this situations my disruptive urges are stronger than any instincts of self preservation.

horsewoman
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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by horsewoman » Wed Nov 06, 2019 4:54 am

Please allow me a moment of motherly pride. Yesterday my 11yo daughter went grocery shopping on her own for the first time. This is probably not a great feat for urban kids, but as the next store is 7 km off she has not much opportunity to go there without me driving.
So yesterday I had a doctor's appointment in the small town next to us, where a grocery store is within walking distance to the doctors' office. I dropped her off, armed with a short shopping list, two cloth bags, and some cash. She managed to find all the items and was waiting at the car when I got out of the office. I'm happy to report that she chose without any instructions to do so the store brand items. I asked her what her motivation to do so was and she said "I looked at the price tags and those were cheaper. Did you know that all the cheap items are at the bottom of the shelf?"
This frugal mom is very happy :)

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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by jacob » Wed Nov 06, 2019 2:56 pm

Cool! Lots of kids, especially in the US, don't get to that stage until they're 23 or so :-P

Next maybe let her plan/buy/make dinner and go through the entire process on her own some time. We had cooking classes in school in grades 6-7 (IIRC) but ingredients were always supplied. (Ditto when helping out at home.) It would have been nice to experience the entire process before moving out and while I did all those individually, I never experienced them together in a way that connected the dots.

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Re: Farm life and Semi-ER

Post by bigato » Wed Nov 06, 2019 4:45 pm

In Japan they have this whole culture about letting the kids loose on the world on their own for the first time when they are something like 8. They even make whole tv shows about this, you can find this stuff on youtube hahaha

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