AE's Journal - Round 3

Where are you and where are you going?
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AnalyticalEngine
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AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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classical_Liberal
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by classical_Liberal »

Hi AE!

Glad you're trying a journal again.

Like so many folks who wander into this community it sounds like you have a very unhealthy relationship with your work. No shame, I'm with you on this boat. Your job consumes a large portion of your energy, but instead of feeling like this energy is well spent, you feel like your simply being taken advantage of by a corporate overlord and controlled by meaningless bureaucracy. In seeking FI you are looking for a way out, ERE lifestyle is probably the quickest, most logical route to this end goal. Additionally, learning ERE provides a layer of security outside of the monetary system and is a more ethical way to live in this time of resource waste and shortsightedness. So here you are.

All of the above makes sense, except, you've already been miserable for quite some time by your own admission. Your plan seems to make sense. Tracking financials is an important part of ERE, particularly if you are weak in the area of consumption (I'm assuming in your business you are not weak in income). However, if FI is still many years away after you "handle" the consumption side, you need to make other changes sooner. Professional networking seems a good step in that direction, but if THAT makes you miserable too...

One of two things needs to happen for you to turn his around. Either the internal needs to change, meaning you need to find some form of pleasure in your current work by focusing on something other than the 1,000 feet up corporate overlord view. Can you focus on something within the structure of your employment you can control and provide positive productivity towards? Something from 100 feet up. (For me as a nurse, this was focusing on the daily patient assignment and nothing else, f**k the healthcare system and profits, I only care about the outcomes of my 5 or 6 patients for that day). Or change the external, find a job situation in which you can see how your contributions makes small positive progress towards something from that higher view. Since you've been pursuing FI for some time, maybe you have enough FU leverage to change external towards creating a more balanced approach where you do not have to expend too much energy/time on paid employment. If you can change both internal and external, and pursue ERE, FI will likely become a byproduct of living a great life.

All easier said than done, its taken me three years of hanging out here and I'm just starting to reach these goals now, but I'm a very slow learner, I expect more from you :lol:.

Good luck, looking forward to more!!

Edit: My opinions, For a great example of someone who has changed internal, try reading @suomalainen's journal. For someone who has done a great job at changing external read @SustainableHappiness or @Trailblazer's journal.

AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

I was reflecting on two things today, namely:

Predisposition to Negativity
In the Big 5 personality scheme, I score reasonably high (61%) on Neuroticism and reasonably low (30%) on Extroversion. This is concerning to me be low Neuroticism and high Extroversion are predictive of experiencing many positive emotions. This may explain some of my struggles. I have read that mindfulness can be especially helpful for people who score higher on Neuroticism, so this may be something I need to research.

The Nature of Work
I've come to realize that software development isn't about the desires you as a developer have to write certain code a certain way. The business looks at you like a generic Unit of Engineering, and they want their developers to be as interchangeable as possible. It makes sense from their perspective. They want to reduce coupling and dependence between any single engineer and the application. But it also means your life as a developer is second to their interests. You're supposed to be an interchangeable cog they throw random engineering problems at, and you need to spit out a solution no matter the context.

The worst part is I even understand why they want it this way. It makes total sense from their perspective to standardize the engineers and not worry if Alice prefers service work while Bob prefers UI work. But it sucks to be reduced to something so standardized, and the price to pay for breadth is reduced depth.

AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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Bankai
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by Bankai »

Some drastic changes, looks like you're resetting your life. Feel free to ignore, but in what way were these people emotionally draining? I have some of them in my life as well, prime example being my mother whom I have very limited contact with, but I'm always wandering if I'm not missing/failing to recognise some other vampires in my life for who they really are.

classical_Liberal
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by classical_Liberal »

Congrats on the positive personal changes! Those types of things are by far the hardest to go through.

My two cents. I would caution you, ending a two year relationship is a pretty big deal, couple that with giving up some of your closest friends puts your social state into a huge flux. I realize you need to change jobs, hating work sucks. Just be careful to not be too rash in the decision process, given everything else that's going on. IOW, maybe it's a good idea to give your emotions a month or two break before making a decision on another major life change. I doubt you'll lose momentum in that short of a period, but you'll probably feel a bit more socially and emotionally secure.

Good luck!!

AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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wolf
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by wolf »

Thanks AE for sharing this story out of your life. I share similiar thoughts with you regarding introversion, social capital, building relationships in life, etc. Therefore it was insightful to read your thoughts (and feelings) on this topic. Thankfully you made some important decisions in your life and moved on. I was in a longterm relationship some years ago. And we also decided to end it. Although I am a mostly independent nature, it was difficult in the beginning of my new episode of life (without being in a relationship). So, I wish you all the best with your new episode in life.
...and thanks for the link to the podcast.

AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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Bankai
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by Bankai »

No similar experience but the situation is clear to me.

cons:
* the company/department is run by sociopaths
* you're frustrated & conditions at work are getting worse
* there's no hope of the situation improving
* best people start to leave
* you don't like your colleagues
* the other job is better paid
* your manager trying to be nicer implies he wasn't nice to begin with

pros:
* lunch places are nearby
* you might get severance pay - is this realistic? if best people are leaving, management will be looking to keep whoever they can from experienced staff

Stahlmann
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by Stahlmann »

The decline of my current role is a narrative that stars two characters. We have Managing Director S and Enterprise Architect B. S and B just might be the quintessential examples of Sociopaths at work. Both essentially destroyed our department in the name of furthering their careers. It's been quite cynical to watch them in action.
pls examples or "references" to specific episodes from The Offce

Family father
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by Family father »

Hi AE,

Welcome back then!
AnalyticalEngine wrote:
Wed Jun 05, 2019 6:15 pm
I need a concrete, measurable way to hold myself to my goals or else I tend to lose track of my progress. I already use spreadsheets and my paper journal, but I want something more formal and structured to organize those reflections.
Having so few time to spare, the reason I keep coming to this forum is because I really value the insight I find in many of the journals: they make me think and also provide a wide range of wel formed and valid points of view.

On @C_L reflections on internal and external change, I'd add there's some people here that managed very well to adapt their job to their necessities (I think of @Wolf in some measure, @Rube, and specially @Scott 2).

And last but not least:
AnalyticalEngine wrote:
Wed Jun 05, 2019 6:15 pm
I understand all corporate jobs are basically exploitative (they pay you less than you earn them)
IMHO "exploit" has an "unfair" smell that isn't necessarily there.

The more objective you can stay when making a big decission (such as changing jobs), the better.

;)

AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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AnalyticalEngine
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Re: AE's Journal - Round 3

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

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