Trying lifestyle inflation. Need to spend more.

Simple living, extreme early retirement, being wealthy, ...
Scott 2
Posts: 1331
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:34 pm

Re: Trying lifestyle inflation. Need to spend more.

Post by Scott 2 » Fri Jun 14, 2019 11:50 pm

Frita wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:44 am
I struggle to outsource things I dislike doing as it is good practice approaching life with more equanimity. Otherwise, I tend to become more egocentric too.
I think your perspective is well aligned with the wisdom offered by many spiritual traditions.

I have learned from going the other direction. My instinct is to do everything myself, with exacting standards. When I count on others, I am forced to release control. Shifting my instinctive response of "this isn't perfect!" to appreciating another's labor, is really hard.

Internally, I still slip. Externally, I try to do better. I meet the instacart driver, make eye contact and small talk, help carry the bags, thank them, provide a 5 star rating, double the promised tip if it's even close to correct, etc. It has required growth on my part.

My wife would say - "you don't deserve praise for being a decent person".

tjh wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 4:44 am
What you are talking about is desire for more. Everyone has the desire for more, but not everyone has the means to buy. If you are not content with what you have, buying what you want, as long as you have a standard of financial strength that you are not violating, is ok. But realize, you'll never satisfy your desire for more.
I've found it hard to balance this perspective with cherishing the finite days I will live. Yoga and meditation work for me. I spent several years at peak happiness, hiding on a yoga mat. My days consisted of work, exercise and frugal living. It didn't matter what life threw at me, I could go internally and flip the switch.

I eventually decided it was a mistake, an avoidance of the human experience. I do more things now. It's expensive. I have more lows. My highs are no greater. My average daily satisfaction is reduced. But, I am drinking more fully from the world. For me, that resonates.

classical_Liberal
Posts: 994
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:05 am

Re: Trying lifestyle inflation. Need to spend more.

Post by classical_Liberal » Sat Jun 15, 2019 3:40 am

Scott 2 wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 11:50 pm
It didn't matter what life threw at me, I could go internally and flip the switch.
I eventually decided it was a mistake, an avoidance of the human experience.
This resonates with me and maybe deserves a thread topic of it's own. At one point in life, I spent a great deal of time developing stoicism. I still love it, and it has it's place in situations where nature provides us with a horrible tragedy or in emotionally charged critical moments where rational thought is required for definitive action. However, it's only one tool in a toolbox, and it's one that can be overused. I'm not sure what, if any purpose this life has to offer. I do know that nature has created a world where human experience requires us to sometimes feel gut wrenching sadness, blood boiling anger, or ice cold fear so that we can remain healthy and balanced within its boundaries.

chenda
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Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:17 pm

Re: Trying lifestyle inflation. Need to spend more.

Post by chenda » Sat Jun 15, 2019 1:18 pm

@classicalliberal It begs the question as to whether there is an optimal amount of suffering one should have in life in order to maximise their lifetime utility. Somewhat like getting a bad cold might give you some immunity to a deadly strain of influenza.

suomalainen
Posts: 730
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Trying lifestyle inflation. Need to spend more.

Post by suomalainen » Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:14 pm

Bankai wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:42 pm
outsource all of that and enjoy your free time with family
See, people say this shit all the time, but it must come from a place of scarcity. But what if OP isn't in a place of scarcity? Some people would actually do anything to see LESS of their family. See, e.g., financial samurai. Marginal utility and all. The trick is that you can embrace marginal utility even before you get sick of your family.

Anyway, @OP, so, you have too much money, good for you. Why don't you just stop thinking about it? Spend it, bury it, burn it, shit on it, who gives a fuck? Your marginal utility is zero. But let's be clear about the subject of this marginal utility - the zero marginal utility relates to thinking about what to do with this tool that you've been fondling for years (i.e., money). That means...time to move on. There are other things to watch than financial porn. Here's what you do, in the order that you do them:

1) Do the things you already know you enjoy up to the amount that you still enjoy them (including family).
2) With the remaining time, try something new you've always wanted to try.
3) If no burning desires, try something new. Anything. It doesn't matter. You're a bored monkey and you need stimulation. So stimulate.
4) If you don't feel like doing any of the above, do nothing.
5) When you get tired of doing nothing, or get tired of doing something, go back to step 1.
6) The only way to break this loop is to die.

I call this your personal-life-satisfaction-efficient-frontier (TM). Catchy name, I know.
johnC64 wrote:
Fri Jun 07, 2019 9:13 am
I have these opposite feelings of need to make use of the forever idle money and of not knowing how to do it. It is like my frugality is working against me. I am not talking about spending a little bit more occasionally, let's say I would like to double it indefinitely to have peace of mind.
You don't need to do anything with your money to have peace of mind. Just stare at that so-called "feeling of need", give it its space and watch it disappear of its own accord. At this point your money is in control of you rather than the other way around. Which is...ironic? sad?

bigato
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Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:43 pm

Re: Trying lifestyle inflation. Need to spend more.

Post by bigato » Sun Jun 16, 2019 6:32 am

This is the first answer that I feel that touches on the real issues as I see them. It’s obvious that there are ways to *spend* money and I’m sure the OP knows how to. Also I’m sure that OP knows what kind of stuff/experience he needs/desires and could just expend on whatever he fancies or even not spend at all, because what harm does money would do by just staying there? Hence my initial question of why he feels he *needs* to spend more. In my opinion this is the kernel of the issue. A better question would be, what benefit do you hope to achieve and what pain are you trying to avoid? Because if you ignore these important matters, you could just burn the money or throw it from a building and be done with it.

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