FI and still putting up with BS job

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Frita
Posts: 488
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 8:43 pm

Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

Friday my boss came into the kitchen where a colleague and I were sitting. We were on our dutyfree break. He said, “No one is supervising students in the lunchroom,” hinting that we should go out there and walked away.

My colleague said, “He didn’t directly tell me to go out there, so I am not going.”

I said, “Me neither.”

The person who was supposed to be in there was at school, routinely blows it off, and never gets called on it. For most of my career I would have stepped up to help (actually before my boss noticed the issue). Despite wanting to clarify if he’d like me to cover, I matched his passive-aggressive request with my passive aggressive answer. I am done with this crap.

Thank you for your suggestions and support! I am changing. I am disengaging and setting/maintaining boundaries. The more I do, the more I feel ready to move on.

P.S. Leaving school one of the six years was just standing in the street with cars zooming around. My boss was doing crossing guard but not paying attention to the perpendicular street. The kid’s mother was talking to another parent. I did run and get him back to his mom a half a block away. The mom was grateful. My boss was oblivious. Just to support that I won’t put kids at risk...
Last edited by Frita on Sun Apr 14, 2019 2:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Frita
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

@cimorene12

You nailed me! I think sometimes staying and playing the game can have benefit (an example being Oskar Schindler) but question whether/doubt that this fits into that category.

So, I am grinding the year out. I was supposed to have my evaluation yesterday but my boss canceled 48 minutes beforehand. (Last year he just kept canceling and rescheduling. We never had one, just said I was doing fine and he’d do one in the fall, which never happened.) This outcome was predicted and not surprising.

Frita
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

Agreed, saving lives doesn’t compare to just teaching kids! I was not saying they are in the same category, just an example where staying in a bad situation was beneficial.

Not returning will mean the end of my teaching career, at least in the US. I won’t be able to move and pick it up in four years when DS14 graduates. I feel sad to be done this way but can’t imagine continuing either.

Frita
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

UPDATE May 31st can’t come fast enough! Twenty days to go (and I don’t typically countdown but decided to start today)! I have not signed another contract and have four days to burn up, one per week.

Next week my boss will be gone (M-F plus Saturday, when we have a snow day makeup) for a camp with 4th-6th grades. Typically, people slack off and don’t do their duties when he’s gone. It creates more work for the handful of us who do their jobs. I am mentally prepared to do only my assigned duties without any rescuing.

Friday he put a note on my desk saying that I “intimidate people” (him?) and to stop. WTF?! Can these “people” not speak to me directly? What am I specifically doing? Why give me a note like this knowing that we won’t see each other for nine days? Then as I was leaving, he gave me an envelope with a $600+ end-of-the-year bonus check. (I went to the bank to deposit that check straight away.). Insights into this shitty behavior?

bigato
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Location: Brazil

Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by bigato »

The note is just a psychological technique to harass you and to try to weaken your stance

bigato
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by bigato »

By the way, I now remember one instance in the past where I was being actively targeted by management because I didn't comply with some bullshit and had no fear to say no. At a periodic evaluation thing they did back then, they tried to make me believe that I did not relate well to the work colleagues, which was clearly a technique to make me feel bad. I immediately
started telling them (they were a couple of bosses, a man and a woman) about how my colleagues didn't like them and how one of them even told me that she was about to quit the job because of one of them. At some point they interrupted me and told me that the evaluation was about me and not about them. :-p

Scott 2
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Scott 2 »

Your boss is trying to re-establish power over the relationship. He's figured out you have it. When he realizes he cannot, he may lash out as a last ditch attempt.

DutchGirl
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by DutchGirl »

1. Your boss doesn't like that he can't boss you around anymore.
2. Your lazy colleagues may not like that you're no longer picking up their slack and that now it shows that they're not doing their job.

A few more weeks now?

PS. Have you ever considered things like tutoring for a few days of the week? Could be fun and rewarding. My mother's done it for a few years after she finished her fultime teaching career; for her it was also a way to ease into retirement.

prognastat
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by prognastat »

It's definitely a spineless power play. It would have at least been slightly less spineless if it had actually been conveyed in a meeting rather than a note.

Just let him know you are open the constructive feedback where if he can bring specific people/situations that you could act on, but that in it's current form it's not constructive and doesn't enable you to act on it.

Frita
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

Thanks, I predict that he’ll be too busy (and/or disorganized) to speak with me, much less have my evaluation. There is no real benefit in preemptively responding.

Ugh, I don’t know why I even let this bother me as I am so close to being done working for shitty people in shitty environments.

@DutchGirl
• No tutoring for me, I prefer a more facilitative role than direct instruction. I will be teaching English in Guatemala again this summer though. • There’s a guy from my uni’s alumni group who used to be a struggling musician. When he finally gave up and got a mainstream job/career, he quit playing the sax. He said it was too painful. Who knows, I may feel the same way.
• I might volunteer more at the local soup kitchen. Most of the ingredients are rescued food, which I think is cool.

Frita
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

10 days (including 2 days of leave) to go!!

Two coworkers were told in the last couple days that they aren’t being asked back. (They were part of our attempt to get the director to stop manhandling kids.) I am playing chicken to see if I get the ax too as I’d file unemployment.

The mood at school is awful. I feel like I’m in junior high again. I feel rather sad about finally pulling the plug this way but am preparing to figure it out anyway. Meanwhile, I will do what I can for the kids the rest of the month.

Frita
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 8:43 pm

Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

@cimorene12
Teaching ESL is really rewarding. The students are well-behaved and eager to learn. I customize classes to what they want and how they learn, which they really appreciate. It feels great to use a certification that I have had forever, just not used in the states. Plus I get to soak up the culture, speak Spanish, and learn from the students. Since I am returning to a school where I previously worked and adored and was treated well and have maintained great relationships, I am excited.

When DS14 graduates from high school in four years, yes, ESL could be part of the plan. Right now, he doesn’t want to move and leave his friends. Actually a permanent move to Guate would be equally awesome. That’s part of the reason we’re going this summer, for my family to check it out.

Frita
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

Eight days to go (including the last two days of leave)...I can’t wait to leave that crazy and get this figured out.

bigato
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by bigato »

Yay! Better times are coming.

Frita
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

Seven days (leave time denied by Captain Control, not surprising...)

Scott 2
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Scott 2 »

Is it over?

Frita
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

Thanks for asking, Scott2. Nope, three more days...it feels like dog years. :)

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Lemur
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Lemur »

Frita wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 12:39 pm
Thanks for asking, Scott2. Nope, three more days...it feels like dog years. :)
Been following....Nice to see freedom in real-time.

Frita
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Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

@Lemur
I am more like the elephant who grew up in chains and thinks she is still a prisoner, despite being capable of breaking free any time. Cognitively, I know this is ridiculous. The first step to changing is admitting where I am.

Two days now, perhaps one...My boss told people we could take a personal day on Friday if we cleared it with him. I have the day to take. He is so “busy” that I haven’t been able to pin him down. (Note that he only has time for his pets.) He wants to have a 30 minute checkout meeting, discussing anything from my evaluation, which never happened.

Frita
Posts: 488
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 8:43 pm

Re: FI and still putting up with BS job

Post by Frita »

One more day...

My personal day request was denied by my boss, the one who can’t keep his lies straight, because we are “following personnel policies.” A few favorites get to take it off though. So I will go in, do my checkout meeting with that fool, and kill some time before leaving. Such a tense shit-show, I can’t wait to be done and start my ERE journal: Take 5.

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