Random Relationship Derailment Thread

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
fuyu
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by fuyu »

I think the ERE forum is one of the most interesting forums, and the only one I regularly return to lurk ^^;;. People here are so very generous with their thoughts and helpful advice. Even if there are a few guys who complain about women and say sexist things, there are more people that very patiently try to guide them to another perspective.

The only reason I rarely post here is because I don’t think I have anything meaningful to contribute, not because I feel unwelcomed.

prognastat
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by prognastat »

@Cats_and tats
I'm not intending any offence with any of what I'm about to say, but it really makes me wonder how is is that these posts(ers) you are complaining about men generalising and this being offensive to women and pushing women out of the community is sexist and offensive. However you have no trouble with the author of the blogpost doing the very same thing in using negative stereotypes/generalisations and doing to same yourself in some of your responses like the all men part C40 called out. You ask these men to be careful in their words for fear that they may offend and exclude women, but don't grant them the same courtesy you are asking for.

If this is offensive when done by men about women would it not be reasonable to assume the same would go the other way? Either both are offensive and allowed or neither are. I'm fall on the side of though I don't always agree with someone that we should err on the side of allowing the discussion as long as it doesn't devolve into simple name calling. You have said you would rather some posters/posts be removed if it were up to you as you take offence to them, I would say some of your posting in this very topic has been mildly offensive to me(and possibly others), but I wouldn't want it to be removed/banned simply because I don't agree with it or like it. That would make it an actual echo chamber with all dissent removed.

Also as to the number of women that was 6 I could think of off the top of my head. The majority of members don't even specify their gender or make it clear. No one implied it was their job to do anything. I was simply pointing out we do have prolific female posters when the only one crazylemon could think of was 7wb5. If banning certain ideas would increase this diversity I wouldn't want to exchange diversity of thoughts and ideas for any other kind of diversity. If this could be increased without sacrificing the latter I would be more than happy with it, but given that you yourself have expressed wishes towards restricting the allowable topics of discussion to achieve this it doesn't sound like you have a way of achieving the former without the latter.

Cats_and_tats
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Cats_and_tats »

So, I stopped responding after Jacob posted because honestly I feel tired of this thread.

I stopped defending the author a long time ago and instead was focusing on general sexism issues on the board. Then Jacob posted and I was like, okay, like C40 (I think) said, silence is respect.

Now Jason posted (on the thread where Jacob kind of asked us all to grow up) that he and Augustus should get together for revenge porn strategies. I don't think me not being as clear on my wording is in the same league.

I also never said people or ideas should be banned. But this is a forum open to the full internet, without a user needed to see it.

So if the author, or anyone, decided to take a look at the top thread on the forum, where the author of ERE said we need to create the group we want, and it's less than two pages until it turns into revenge porn fantasies, I can't really see how I can say everything is awesome either.

Jason
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Jason »

I apologize. I thought two pages was sufficient. I'll have to check my Revenge Porn For Dummies Manual to ascertain the pagination criteria for introducing the topic. Unless you can guide me on it.

Cats_and_tats
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Cats_and_tats »

It's not my forum. Why don't you ask Jacob about the rules on when you should and shouldn't threaten revenge porn? He is probably the best one to guide you there.

Augustus
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Augustus »

I am seriously thinking we need a sarcasm BOL and EOL marker. I am in tears with laughter right now. :lol:

Holy cow CT, no one is making revenge porn.

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C40
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by C40 »

Jason wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:16 pm
I apologize. I thought two pages was sufficient. I'll have to check my Revenge Porn For Dummies Manual to ascertain the pagination criteria for introducing the topic. Unless you can guide me on it.
Here you go: Do your revenge porn discussion (jokes) on 4chan, not here.

It's not wrong to make jokes or be funny. But a comedian needs to use tact in determining what jokes to make (and in what threads).

Augustus
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Augustus »

Yeah let me clarify, I am laughing at someone for believing anything. I feel like I ought to start spinning some yarns about my childhood UFO abductions...

But revenge porn is too sensitive of a topic, best not joked about. Same goes for rape, murder, etc. Too many people have actually been hurt by those things.

Jason
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Jason »

C40 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:51 pm


Here you go: Do your revenge porn discussion (jokes) on 4chan, not here.

It's not wrong to make jokes or be funny. But a comedian needs to use tact in determining what jokes to make (and in what threads).
Please provide the proper thread and I will move the joke there.

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C40
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by C40 »

4chan.com

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jennypenny
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by jennypenny »

+1

today wasn't the day guys

Jason
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Jason »

Ok, I'll try again tomorrow.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Well, I would like to note as further evidence of gender neutrality in discrimination against ERE types, that my quite conventional careerist BF called me a bum this morning, and added that if our genders were reversed everybody would be advising him to dump me. When I asked for specific indications of being a bum beyond my lack of full-time employment, he said "Well, I don't like how you go into the city to work on that vacant lot and then come back all covered with mud and burrs, and I don't like that you sleep on an inflatable mattress (when I am not with him.)"

It's kind of interesting how my self-aware practice of being a total passive mooch seems to drive men towards both frugality and feminism ;)

Augustus
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Augustus »

Do bums use inflatable mattresses these days? I guess there would be a trickle down to them as well, so maybe they are. Owning a lot with a camper seems like it would be disqualify you from bum status though. You're landed Gentry according to the letter of the law.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@Augustus:

I sold the camper, but I do own a 1999 Honda Accord which I could (in theory) sleep in parked by the vacant lot. However, that would be roughly the equivalent of finding my clothes at the town dump* in the eyes of my BF.

*Which I meant to mention I think is totally boss. Boo germaphobes**! Go frugal chicks!


Anyways, since we theoretically have open contract, I just said "Nothing stopping you from finding some clean, skinny, successful career woman to date, if that is what you value. "

**Who wants 'em anyways, since not likely to be all that into the dirty-dirty otherwise either.

Dragline
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Dragline »

I was not planning on looking in here again for a few months, but some of you pm'ed me about other fora that might provide more of what you are looking for than this one.

I've responded to those requests, but am happy to entertain any others privately.

Don't bother if you pride yourselves on being kicked off other boards though -- the boards I'm talking about are moderated and are unlikely to be interested in Free Speech Warrior talk or what you otherwise consider to be humor. This is the place for that sort of thing and you should stay here.

prognastat
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by prognastat »

@Dragline
The ERE forums are moderated, just not in the exact way you would like them to be. There is a difference.

Though I don't believe the ad hominems are helpful to the discussion I do support free speech in most cases and don't think topics of discussion should be stifled as long as it's kept within the bounds of a discussion/lively debate so long as they don't veer into the realm of personal attacks.

My previous response to you might have been a little too strong, but I felt targeted by your comments as I have been banned from other forums for discussions regarding political topics. Given that I've mentioned this in the past and participated in this topic it's hard not to assume part of your comment is targeted towards myself or at least people like me. This wasn't because I was proud of this, rather that I was disappointed in the moderation decisions made there.

I would in the end agree with Jacob's decision to police based on tone, rather than content for the forums.

ZAFCorrection
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by ZAFCorrection »

@Dragline

There are one or two other forumites here who manage to maintain a continually aggrieved posture vis-a-vis the sexism here without looking like a child periodically sticking their head out the door to see if people still care they are having a tantrum. You might consider their approach. Or just stay in gendertopia* full time

No doubt this forum has a bit of a sexist vibe going on, but the vast majority of the MRA/incel shit is promulgated by a handful of people who are routinely challenged. The rest is just what you get when the majority of the community is one gender. And while it is entirely reasonable to expect people to do their best to treat people decently, I'm wondering how much study and practice you expect everyone to undergo so this community can become completely welcoming to women ex nihilo. And what responsibility do women have to make an effort to participate if they want the community to be more women-oriented (JP's point)? If the answers are "a lot" and "none," have a nice day.

*The funny thing about the MRAs/feminists/SJWs/white supremacists/whatever is they seem to see every issue as being within one or two narrow regimes involving a particular intrinsic identity or set of intrinsic identities. Additionally, the issue always needs to be dealt with in some kind of coercive fashion. Have fun playing with your mirror images.

Colibri
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by Colibri »

C40 wrote:
Thu Mar 14, 2019 11:43 pm
Are.... do you mean the landfil? Or "dumpster diving' from a clothing store? Can you share more about this?

Even as an open-minded ERE'er, I would be quite surprised if a date puts an image in my mind of her scrounging around the county dump. (I had to go to one a few times for work, and, man, I wouldn't want to picture a girl I was considering having a relationship with on her hands and knees digging around there. Maybe your dumps are a lot nicer(?)

Yes, I should have explain more. What's happening here is that every dump has a section or more precisely a large shed (a.k.a. the Free Store) where people can just give away stuff they don't want but that are still usable. Namely clothes, kitchen ware, books.... So when I say I pick my clothes at the dump the guy will know I mean that shed and not going through the actual garbage pile with rotten apples. But you still have to go at the dump and see all the crap. Most people drop stuff in the shed but don't pick up anything.
I am actually seing the guy again, I was wrong on his behaviour/intention. He fell asleep on my sweater this morning which came from the dump...

7Wannabe5
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Re: Random Relationship Derailment Thread

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@Colibri:

Happy to hear you were mistaken about rejection due to frugality. However, I still think it would be very ERE to rescue a sweater from under some rotting stuff as long as you wore gloves and washed it before wearing.

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