Getting Divorced.

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C40
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by C40 »

I think in the last few pages of posts you guys may have been underestimating the negative effects of divorce on women. With young children, even if getting significant child support, raising them alone becomes a huge burden. (though, now-a-days, I'm finding 50-50 custody to be quite common).

But the risk is still there that that the husband may suddenly decide he's over it and move out of state. Let's say the kids are 6 months, 2 years, and 4 years old (a TON of work). Even if he does send the child support checks - which often doesn't happen - the woman probably still work, and now has to do ALL the work of raising those PITA kids.

Sounds like a nightmare. While a man is continually carrying the risk of losing half the couple's wealth (which may have all came from him), the women do carry more of the risk of the above happening. They're particularly at risk when pregnant or with young children - and that is often a difficult part of the relationship, making divorce more likely than before having kids.

jacob
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by jacob »

I first discovered Rush in 1999 when I was listening to the local radio during a research visit to IN (yeah, go ahead and judge me or IN or both as it may be). I ventured to the local B&N(*) to buy a CD with Subdivisions. In 2004, I came back and met DW. She owned several Rush CDs as well as her own set of socket wrenches. We married two years later and have now been together for 14 years.

So, obviously, you can't go wrong with Rush! I think that's the important message here? /s Insofar Rush affinity is a sufficient condition, maybe owning socket wrenches is a necessary one!? Seriously, I think the important variables were mentioned somewhat above. It would be nice if the "battle of the sexes" on this forum became somewhat more nuanced, perhaps to the point of non-existence or whatever everyone's future self will one day look back at and appreciate about their past statements.

(*) Not easy in a town where sidewalks were severely frowned upon and widely believed to condone criminal activity.

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

Well I, for one, was not out to make this a battle of the sexes. Divorce sucks for everyone. Just voicing my usual boring lament. I have figured out it’s possible to get used by women for money even outside the context of holy matrimony. Fortunately I have never shared a bank account or credit card and that has made it easier to unsubscribe.

100 years ago, I would have been married by now, for better or worse. 100 years from now, I would have been able to sleep with anyone without consequence, with state officials implementing Bokanovsky’s Process. Yay.

As an aside, I am over my parents house for Sunday dinner. When I clicked on Dr. Fisker’s link, my (still relatively young!) Catholic mother said from the other room: “Is that Rush?” So there is hope!

By the way, John Bohmam is better than Neil Peart. When it comes to drum sets, it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean. We have to disagree about something :twisted:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lsZG7n7ries

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Zyhu2ysqKGk

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AwIPiw4_Ba8

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp-LBD_q0sQ

And my favorite:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=scpqae3P7Dg

Fight me.

IlliniDave
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by IlliniDave »

MI, although I spent a lot of amusing time in HS debating the relative merits of the respective bands, Zeppelin and Rush is a both/and, not an either/or in my view. Can't skip this one, perhaps my favorite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W6mDUmPZ0Y

And the relationship between the guys is pretty collegial. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upL9LJonoLg

7Wannabe5
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

I am still trying to solve the analogy problem:

Too much makeup is to “microdermabrasion is okay” as too many sexual partners is to _____???

I did go roller skating with boys who listened to Rush and Zeppelin in the early 80s. Although I appreciated the spirit of some of the Rush lyrics, the vocals always struck me as akin to “nails on chalkboard.” OTOH, I used to put my head right between two speakers when I listened to “In the Evening” and my burnout friend Nancy who married the boy who was almost charged with statuatory raping her ( he was 19 to her 16) had the entire text of Stairway to Heaven” written in calligraphy on the wall of her bedroom. Last thing I heard they were still together.

Jason

Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Jason »

Rush was a power trio, known for it's instrumental virtuosity, elliptical melodies and obtuse lyrics. With the presupposition that Lemmy was the ugliest man in rock' n roll history, I would argue that Geddy Lee was second. However, where Lemmy was an ugly man who at least looked like a man, Geddy Lee was an ugly man that resembled a woman. In his early years he looked like he arrived at the concert hall on a broomstick. In his later years, like he just finished delivering a paper at a third wave feminist reading. Furthermore, where when Lemmy sang about sex you knew it because he would conveniently entitle his songs "Jailbait", or with Led Zeppelin the imagery of lemon juice running down Robert Plant's leg was employed, when Geddy Lee sang about sexual relationships it was in three dimensional, geometric forms that required an advanced degree in mathematics to understand. And unlike Lemmy and Led Zeppelin, with Rush, there was never any stories of underaged groupies being penetrated with a large fish in a bathtub or the like circulating around the band. My point is, Rush's target audience was unapologetically and self-consciously male, whether it was dirtbag or nerd. I will leave it to their fans to self-identify but it doesn't seem hard to parse out who was who, at least on this board. The only girls who listened to their music were rolling skating groupies like Seven and her friends who did it in a second hand fashion and strictly for utilitarian purposes.

And I did not mean to disparage Joshua Sheats. But let's face it, he's no Carl Richards.

Edit: I understand Mrs. JLF owns Rush albums. I am sure she is a lovely woman and although for the life of me I can't understand it, I mean no offense that she enjoys Rush's music and am not accusing her of contemplating either blowing up or shooting the shit out of her high school back in the day. But it all due respect, although I don't find it surprising that JLF would find one of the few women walking the planet that owned Rush albums, I think its safe to say she's an outlier. I also do not mean to make a correlation between Illini Dave being divorced and liking Rush although I would not be surprised to discover that there was one. And FFJ's comment that he liked Yes makes perfect sense due to their prog-rock antecedents which was a male dominated musical genre despite the fact that Ian Anderson's wife either wrote or inspired the lyrics to Aqualung, the distinction no longer being important enough for me to research.

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

Those Yes concerts in Kentucky must have been wild.

IlliniDave
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by IlliniDave »

jason, it is unlike what you believe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37v-soxVmV0

Jason

Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Jason »

"I am vibrating with Rush fandom." I'm like the easiest guy in the world but that statement makes my junk uneasy.

I'll concede somewhat, but based on small sample size, I saw about one aging woman per five beer bellied men congregation (dirt bag demographic) and no women around younger male set (nerd demographic) so it pretty much recapitulates the average high school Rush lunchroom breakdown.

prognastat
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by prognastat »

Wow, I guess find yourself an Agricultural Engineer...

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

Darn it. There was a blackjack dealer at Mohegan Sun I really thought I could build a life with.

Stahlmann
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Stahlmann »

Augustus wrote:
Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:16 pm
I could probably expand on that, but it might come across as rude. Teenage virgins trying to outdo each other in knowledge about sex and relationships comes to mind...
You forgot basement dwellers, it would make your argument even more sound!

tonyedgecombe
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by tonyedgecombe »

5 Professions with lowest divorce rate:
Farmers – 7.63
Podiatrists – 6.81
Clergy – 5.61
Optomitrists – 4.01
Agricultural Engineers – 1.78
Interestingly farm workers, medical professionals and engineers also have the highest suicide rates. Not sure about the clergy.


niemand
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by niemand »

@Jason: are you suggesting the high suicide rate of agricultultural engineers may keep their divorce rate low?

Jason

Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Jason »

I am not saying that the high suicide rate keeps the divorce rate low but the employment of suicide as an economic means to preserve the family is informative. Farmers who's ancestry dates back to a pre-industrial society most likely adhere to the values that were dominant when we were an agrarian society, as the family is a carrier of said values. Divorce was stigmatized during that time as it threatened the basic agrarian unit - the family. That would be my basic explanation for why divorce is low in the farming community. The fact that suicide has becomes a means of economic protection for the survivors of the final generation who can no longer maintain the family farm due to changing economic realities is, in its own ways, a testament to that value system.

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

It’s a good thing we have Wall Street Playboys obligated to no one and negligent CEOs of failed public utilities who take massive severance packages to lead our wonderful secular society forward.

Clearly those milk farmers are inefficient. They would serve society so much better by buying bitcoin and campaigning for social justice against the straight white patriarchy oppressing us all.

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C40
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by C40 »

uhh.... what?

Jason

Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Jason »

Speaking of farmers, I can only imagine what Old MacDonald is going through, having all those chicks on his farm. He must be the Harvey Weinstein of the nursery rhyme community.

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

Sorry, sometimes a Brave Little Toaster vents just a bit.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U3quruHpcuo

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