It dawned on me the other day that I've been doing this for about 10+ years now, and I've gotten quite used to it and become quite well adapted to it. It's certainly helped me to save a fortune on rent and I've met some cool and interesting people along the way, some of who I still keep in touch with.
I might start by listing out the types of situations I've flatted in:
- Leaseholder, having others stay. I did this 2-3 times. I was careful about who I allowed to stay, even if it meant waiting a while for the right person. I found these arrangements quite fun, but they included some risk as well. Sometimes the risk was from flatmates moving out early. Once it was from flatmates behaving inappropriately (smoking in a prohibited building) causing me to lose the lease. Once I was physically threatened by a housemate, who was in a bit of a tough spot in life and going through a lot of mental anguish. Overall, being lease-holder was fun when I did it, but I don't think I'll ever do it again. Too much responsibility and hassle.
- Joining an existing houseshare. I've done this a handful of times, including my current accommodation. I like this option a lot, especially when living in a new part of the world, because it's often a sociable environment and you get to learn about locals and see how people live. We've done anything from have a BBQ together to going to gym to going out for drinks. It's great for opening social doors and staying motivated. The only downside is that the constant socialising gets a bit tiring sometimes, especially after a long hard day at work, when you just want to curl up in a ball and be by yourself. Fortunately, I've only really had to socialise when others are around, and everyone also respects my personal space. When I go up to my room, I'm totally on my own and can "zone out".
- Renting a room directly from an agency. I've also done this many times, and it's probably my favourite sharing option. I get almost the same privacy as my own flat, and only have to share a kitchen and bathroom. Because it's through an agency, I only have to pay one bill, so there's no complication over usage of electricity/gas, who owns what cooking implements, etc. Housemates in this scenario may also be sociable, but it's usually a bit more toned down and people go their separate ways in their spare time.
I'd like to continue learning and building skills for dealing with shared accommodation.
Some skills I've been working on:
- Shower routines - designing these so that I can spend maximal time in the shower without interfering with others. E.g. showering at night rather than morning.
- Cooking routines - optimising cooking procedures so that I can make and eat dinner within a small timeslot, e.g. 1 hour, again to avoid interfering with others, but also just to free up time generally.
- Soft skills - there's inevitably some friction and even conflict when multiple people inhabit a small shared space. I try to keep alert to whatever might annoy people and modify my behaviour accordingly. One trick I've used a lot, when I do occasionally stuff up, is to offer compliments and positivity rather than apologies. People don't seem to like being apologised to nearly as much as they like being offered a compliment or some kind of positive remark. At least, that's how I feel. I also try to be honest and clear when someone else's behaviour annoys me, like people being noisy late at night.