Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Where are you and where are you going?
halfmoon
Posts: 697
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by halfmoon »

suomalainen wrote:
Mon Aug 28, 2017 12:19 pm
@halfmoon: I respectfully disagree.
Respectful disagreement permitted. :P Obviously, we all have our own opinions. As mentioned above, I've never brought a child into the world.
suomalainen wrote:
Mon Aug 28, 2017 12:19 pm
By the way, I'm catching up on your journal (about halfway through) and am enjoying it. Maybe it's discussed later, but I'm curious what happened to DS and how he's come to view your lifestyle choices as he's gotten older.
I don't really go into the subject of my stepson very deeply in my journal, but I discussed some of it here:

https://forum.earlyretirementextreme.co ... =16&t=8773

suomalainen
Posts: 979
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by suomalainen »

Quick update on my mindfulness project: When it comes to everything outside of work, I think it's going well. In fact, I can look back at the last few years and see that I've slowly built up habits of doing things I enjoy with the people I enjoy (biking, frisbee, archery, hiking, movies) or by myself (guitar - I picked this up in February and can hack at a number of songs now. I'm not good, but I really thoroughly enjoy this). The net result being a persistent sense of satisfaction.

Where I'm struggling is work. An exchange with @brute reminded me of this saying: "you can choose what you do, but you can't choose what you like to do." @brute's way of putting it was that you can't choose what you want. So, I'm doing everything I want outside of work. But work is really just a paycheck for me at this point. It's not really challenging for me any more as a full-fledged "expert" and it's not really meaningful to me. Anecdote: I was talking to a client/friend the other day and I was arguing that you could fire all the lawyers in the department save one (whose job would be to train people to deal with outside counsel directly and to be there for minimal supervision and support). He disagreed with me and said that in-house counsel is highly valued and he would keep every last one of us. Maybe I should stop judging my perceived value by my own standards (i.e., a competent business person should be able to make do without me) and accept the fact that this competent business person (i.e., the customer/consumer/client) values the services I provide. Perhaps that is the place I can find meaning? That my work is valued by others/consumers, even if I can't see it?

suomalainen
Posts: 979
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by suomalainen »

A few inputs:

- I've been thinking of buying land that's somewhat wild and building a cabin on it. I blame this in equal parts on my Finnish ancestry and reading @halfmoom's and @illinidave's journals.
- I looked at some Finnish cabin designs online, feeling a yearning for Finland, its language and people and foods and culture, particularly its forest/lake/sauna culture.
- I've been reading other journals here and the "different from the rest" theme stands out.
- My wife and I discussed our oldest son's lack of desire for friends and how to strike the balance between making sure he is "healthy" even if different. We also discussed the difference between pushing him to learn skills (like how to talk to people) vs pushing him to be different from how he is (like liking to talk to people). The former is good, the latter is not.

My dad once told me that he finally learned that "America teaches you how to succeed, but Americans don't know how to live. Europeans do." (He emigrated from Finland in the 70s). Ultimately, I must agree with my dad, given my approach to work and other societal constructs. And I worry sometimes as a father whether I should teach my kids how to survive in the society into which they were born (by such society's rules) or how to survive by doing your own thing. There's probably a balance there, but like many things, finding the right balance is a permanent challenge. It's tough feeling a personal pull for the latter while feeling a "responsibility" to teach my children the former and/or worrying that I'd be damaging my children by pursuing the latter to the detriment of the former. It's almost like a cross-generational cognitive dissonance.

suomalainen
Posts: 979
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

September Update

Post by suomalainen »

I run financials mid-month. Don't ask me why, I forget.

Anyhoo, here are a few charts:

Assets/Net Worth/Liquid Net Worth

[deleted]

Notes:
- The step function appearance of net worth stems from bonuses, except the big step was my personal injury settlement. 80% of cash bonuses and 100% of equity bonuses are saved/invested.
- I exercised some of my stock options from an account that doesn't show up on this chart, so technically I do have more assets, but that account also has unvested equity, so I kind of ignore that account until I liquidate shares. I put a little less than half of my recent exercise back into the market in my personal account. Regardless of the ROI, I get a psychological boost when I save/invest, so I plan on putting a little more in each month and/or whenever I'm feeling down. I like to spend money! But on stocks! I also don't trade much - that's a fool's (or expert's) game and I am only a little of the former (and none of the latter!).
- I removed the numbers from the y-axis because it doesn't really matter (and volatility makes it matter less); it's the progress bar, so to speak, that matters, but as of today it's roughly 10x current expenses (excluding the house).
- I don't track expenses very closely anymore. I save a set amount first (in 401k, HSA, Personal Account) and then spend the rest. That spending amount is set at "what I could convince my wife to accept". :lol: We spend about $60,000 per year or $12,500 per person.

Dividends (PA only)

[deleted]

The Future, a/k/a ERE with children

- It's difficult if not impossible to plan for the future with the 5 people that I'm planning for. The oldest child needed $5000 worth of dental surgery/braces. The next one will definitely need that as well. Bad dental genes. Who knows what else will come? And how much risk am I willing/able to bear? That leads me to believe that I will work for 10 more years, until the youngest is out of high school so that I have the financial flexibility to address any issues that come up. At that point, some of the future spending will be more clear also (Obamacare and future needs of the kids being the two biggest).
- I am already at the point that I believe I could be FI (with wife) if I look past the tax rules, moved to a low-cost area and lived a truly ERE lifestyle, and ignored the kids. So at this point, I'm working to be FI with kids included, but...I don't really know how to calculate the unknowns associated with 3 boys (crossing fingers no drugs, no arrests and no pregnancies :!: ). If I assume our 5-person-family expenses stay flat, it'll take ~6 more years to have a net worth (excluding house) 25x that. At that point, boy #1 will be out of high school and boy #3 will be starting high school. I guess I'll reassess then.
- As to college expenses, I've told them I won't be paying for it. In reality, I'll probably offer to pay half. In real reality, if they want to major in something that won't have an ROI, they can pay for it 100% themselves and go to the lowest cost possible school to do it. If they want to major in something that has an ROI (STEM? Anything else?), then I'll pay 50% even if it's to an expensive school. I've already begun teaching them ERE principles and I have come up with a game to reinforce it. If it works well, I will report back.

Psych Update

- Visiting my parents, my mom's heart surgery, losing my friend across the country and having the kids at home during the summer made for a challenging August. Anxiety and its presentation (codependency) spiked (as you may have surmised if you read any of my posts last month. It's oh so subtle, but it's there :mrgreen: ). I've been trying very hard in September to stay focused on the present, on what I can control. For the most part, it is going well; although I have been chasing/researching woodsy things from archery/bowhunting (cheap) to a house in a forest on a lake (expensive). Only spent money on the cheap stuff so far. Fingers crossed we stay in this house (e.g., what I'm really worried about is that we don't have a massive fight next spring over whether to stay or move. Moving is VERY important to the wife :? :( One option may be to have a conversation that goes like this: I'll roll the equity of this house and I'll contribute $7000/yr equivalent to current taxes and insurance, but you have to get a job and pay the mortgage and the difference in taxes (keeping in mind the marginal income tax rate is...a good problem to have?...but terrible in a calculation of a second income's ROI) if you want to move to a bigger house). That ought to go well...
- I have enjoyed most of my evenings and weekends: some walks with wife, archery by myself or with the kids, ropes course with the whole family on labor day, playing the guitar, my running is progressing well (still fat tho).
- I don't particularly enjoy work. But my new focus is this: "I may not value my services very highly, but I value my company's money highly. In a free market, I trade something I value less (my services) for something I value more (money) if the converse is also true. My company values my services more than a certain amount of money, so a trade is made. My purpose at work is to get money and I'm getting it. If I enjoy a day, great! If not, I should focus on what I'm there for - not meaning, not purpose, not happiness, not personal challenge -- money. I can always choose to not make the trade, but every day that I'm there, I am consciously, deliberately making that trade, so at the very least I'm getting what I paid for." This has worked for me when I've done it. I hope it continues. It also feels a little...stark...when I write it like that. Something something nihilism, probably. Anyway. Meaning, purpose, happiness and challenge will need to be found elsewhere.
- And finally, as I type this, my cat is 6 inches from me incessantly licking his belly. I'ma gonna rub it and screw up all his grooming.
Last edited by suomalainen on Sun Feb 07, 2021 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fish
Posts: 570
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2016 9:09 am

Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by Fish »

suomalainen wrote:
Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:11 pm
I am already at the point that I believe I could be FI (with wife) if I look past the tax rules, moved to a low-cost area and lived a truly ERE lifestyle, and ignored the kids. So at this point, I'm working to be FI with kids included, but...
I used to think along these lines all the time. It gave me hope. But I've come to realize that "ERE lifestyle" was MY dream, not my wife's. So I've had to modify the vision to something that we could both find agreeable. But having options is certainly nice.

Seth Godin's quote on money was for me one of the best things to come out of Tim Ferriss' latest book. I discussed it in another thread but I'll also repeat it here:
Seth Godin wrote:Once you have enough for beans and rice and taking care of your family and a few other things, money is a story. You can tell yourself any story you want about money, and it's better to tell yourself a story about money that you can happily live with.
What I interpret this to mean is that past your needs point, money really has no impact on your physical reality. Only if you run out of money are you ever forced into a behavioral change; otherwise everything is voluntary. Suppose you have 5 years of expenses saved up in liquid assets, do you really need to go to work today to pay your bills in the present? If you truly want to do something different, why not just do it? Is 25x expenses a necessary prerequisite? There is no need to hold your present self hostage just because your (imagined) future self is needy and incapable and wants you to prepay his bills. Don't get me wrong, saving is a really nice gift to your future self, as one day that person will be you. But with a true ERE attitude you might elect to pursue your dreams even if they might carry some risk, and let your future self deal with the uncertainties, because future self is capable.

You control the narrative and if building your FIRE wall brick by $100 brick motivates you, go for it. But at some point you have to wonder whether work is truly your enemy, and if a wall of 25x expenses is really needed to insulate yourself from... what?
suomalainen wrote:
Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:11 pm
college expenses
Jacob doesn't want to be known as leader of a band of parasites, but have you ever considered how FIRE might affect college costs, particularly tuition at need-based (or "ability to pay") schools or scholarships/grants where FAFSA is used? I think the "formula" is forgiving if you have low earned income (not investment income) and if NW is mostly tied up in home equity and retirement funds.
suomalainen wrote:
Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:11 pm
house
Have you considered renting? This would allow your wife and family to enjoy a larger house during the years where it offers utility, without you committing to living in the larger house indefinitely. Then rent your current one out (with the possibility of moving back later), or sell it and buy your cabin in the woods. Although moving sucks, each move is always an opportunity to improve size and location.

suomalainen
Posts: 979
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by suomalainen »

Fish wrote:
Fri Sep 15, 2017 6:40 pm
If you truly want to do something different, why not just do it? Is 25x expenses a necessary prerequisite?
....
let your future self deal with the uncertainties, because future self is capable.
When it comes to making money, no, there's nothing I want to do differently. Mostly because there's nothing that can pay me as well as what I'm currently doing. Is 25x necessary? I dunno. Is it? Only the future can tell. And it's hard to walk away from a "safe, secure paycheck" to adopt the risk of the shit hitting the fan for 5 people. That's 5 times the risk. I've often thought: "who cares about the cost of health care when you're old? You can always just die." Easy enough to think that for myself. Harder if a child gets leukemia.

As to outside of work...I'm working on getting most of what I need out of life from my non-work hours. It's a...work in progress. Maybe it's the culture, but there's certainly a tug towards the "work is life" paradigm. I don't subscribe to that. People who don't know how to retire either get their identity from their jobs and/or hate their families and/or lack imagination. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but none of those things fit me.

If money were no object, I'd probably build shit and sell it or burn it. I like building stuff. I don't like having stuff.
Fish wrote:
Fri Sep 15, 2017 6:40 pm
have you ever considered how FIRE might affect college costs
Never once. That's some advanced shit.
Fish wrote:
Fri Sep 15, 2017 6:40 pm
Have you considered renting?
No. But at first blush, the wife would never go for it. Interesting thought tho. I guess buying is roughly the same calculus, minus transaction costs.

suomalainen
Posts: 979
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Sunday morning musings

Post by suomalainen »

Pondering expectations, Emmy Rossum's "Slow Me Down" and ERE, I think what ERE truly is is the ability to see what life actually is and to avoid modern civilization's expectations of life. A few examples:

- The "go-go" 80s
- Conspicuous consumption
- Keeping up with the Joneses
- Buying experiences rather than things
- Goal setting
- Efficiency
- Maximizing

ERE is really about none of these. Satisficing is what ERE is about. Do you have a satisfactory food, water, shelter and clothing? Do you have satisfactory health, relationships and leisure time?

This is what life really is. Life is slow. Humans used to be slow. Every other species is slow. Achievement and success really mean failing at life, with depression and anxiety as modern markers for this failure.

Anecdotally, I recently took up backyard archery. My kids came back from scout camp and they really enjoyed archery. On impulse, I tried to set up time at a local range for us to enjoy some boy-time together, but the range required the young ones to take a private lesson before they could get on the range and lessons were fully booked. So I said fuck it, let's go to Cabela's and see what's there. The salesman let the four of us shoot around on their 10-yard range and talked me into a $220 real bow set from the $15 toy set I was considering. Now the kids shoot around a bit at home, but I shoot pretty much every day. Surprise - I love it. I talk to my boss about it and he mentions bowhunting. On impulse, I call a guy hosting the next certification course the day before it's being held. It's full, but he says fuck it, bring a chair. So now I have a bowhunting license. I have almost no intention of hunting - it seems like it's very involved and takes a ton of time and equipment to be successful, but no matter, I was curious, so I took the free class and gained a new skill and maybe I'll get nothing out of it but walking around in the woods for a few hours with a bow. I have no idea where archery will take me. And I don't care. I don't have a goal. I'm just going to do what I feel like doing in the moment and see where it takes me.

This anecdote is so different from my usual MO. Usually the end (goal) comes first, then the planning, then the actions according to plan. This is a very human characteristic and quite useful, but it's not living. And as a Harvard professor wrote (can't remember the title of the book), humans are terrible at knowing what they want, particularly in the future, so future goals guiding present actions is putting the cart before the horse. As I've been able to be more present, the satisfaction I derive from life has grown, especially as it has become easier to not compare what I have against some fantasy life plan that I have in my head. My expectations were all out of whack, and by turning things around, it seems my expectations are no longer running wild.

Tällaista sunnuntai aamuna.

wolf
Posts: 1102
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:09 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Sunday morning musings

Post by wolf »

suomalainen wrote:
Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:07 pm
A few examples:
...
- Goal setting
- Efficiency
- Maximizing

ERE is really about none of these. Satisficing is what ERE is about. Do you have a satisfactory food, water, shelter and clothing? Do you have satisfactory health, relationships and leisure time?
Thank you for these insights. Inspiring! I totally agree with your way of thinking about ERE nowadays. Although I have to say it was a process for myself. When I started ERE I had some of the above mentioned examples in mind. I do also like efficiency, but I do know the part it does/doesn't play in ERE. In the beginning I set goals, which I do still have out of motivational reasons. Anyway, I appreciate a slow life. When you travel slower you can see more!

Jason

Re: Sunday morning musings

Post by Jason »

suomalainen wrote:
Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:07 pm
I have no idea where archery will take me. And I don't care. I don't have a goal. I'm just going to do what I feel like doing in the moment and see where it takes me.
How do you say Robin Hood in Finnish?

suomalainen
Posts: 979
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by suomalainen »

Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness is the book I mentioned.

@md, it's all about the process; best of luck in yours! To clarify, when I mentioned "efficiency", I meant it more in the sense of "doing more in the same amount of time". Sort of how they measure "productivity" in the various economic surveys/reports. Efficiency is great...so long as you're not doing it so you can "do more". Fuck that. I want to efficiently satisfice so I can do LESS.

@Jace, names don't really translate. They stay the same. Finglish can be pretty rampant too. My mom says "greippejä" to mean "grapes" even though it actually means "grapefruits". Grapes properly is viinirypäleitä. Hot tubi is another of her favorites.

Jason

Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by Jason »

lol@hot tubi. I think I'm going to start using that. "Hey, how you doing." "Oh, man, I am hot tubi." Or "Hey did you see that chick." "Oh, yeah, she is fuckin hot tubi."

Your moms sounds fun. I'm guessing you're more like your father.

j/k

suomalainen
Posts: 979
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: October Update

Post by suomalainen »

Assets/Net Worth/Liquid Net Worth

[deleted]

Dividends (PA only)

[deleted]

I think I got $684 in dividends in September, my best month yet. I get a dividend each week for the next several weeks, so that's a nice boost. When I get some more money to invest, one of my criteria is going to be the timing of the dividend payment. The goal would be to have a portfolio that generates at least 1 dividend payment a week. Really just for shits and giggles. My investment philosophy is pretty much using a dartboard anyway (but I like to think of it as selective indexing since I don't trade in and out).

Spending Update
- When I bought my first bow, I told the kids (and myself) that once they could shoot 10-12 arrows and score 80% in 2 of 3 rounds from 20 yards, I'd buy them a new bow. I figured they wouldn't have the interest and patience and determination to stick with it and I was right! I'm not sure if that's an :D or an :cry: , but either way I figured I wouldn't have to buy them anything or if I did, I'd be happy to spend the money.
- After I got hit by the car, my right neck/shoulder/upper back has been messed up. Shooting arrows didn't seem to help, so I took some time off. Then I read about archers having neck/shoulder problems and the obvious suggestion to pull with the left hand as many times as you shoot with the right. So, I started doing that and my right neck/shoulder/upper back feels better and stronger than it has in years!
- Well, I got my 80% from 20 yards with my starter bow, so I bought a longer riser (Samick Polaris) and longer limbs (Samick Journey) to create a longer, better suited bow for my long arms. And I also got bored just pulling empty shots with my left, so I also treated myself to a left-handed bow! :shock: Not a frugal decision by any stretch, but I enjoy the time outside in my backyard. Maybe the kids will even rejoin me from time to time.
- The rest of the spending has re-normalized from the summer increase due to the kids being out of school.

Psych Update

- I continue to focus on trying to be fully present in my life, notwithstanding my past triumphs and defeats or my future goals and challenges. Recently, I got a bit waylaid by conflicting emotions between early retirement and a new house with a lot of land. After some helpful discussion on another thread here (viewtopic.php?f=7&t=9335), it turned out to be another presentation of my same weaknesses. I'm glad I went through the exercise and that I have a record of it here. I hope to continue improving my self-awareness and my decision-making ability and to continue corralling the out-of-control meaning-searcher that is me. "Meaning is deliberately created, not found. Meaning is deliberately created, not found. Meaning is deliberately created, not found." should be my mantra.
- I also wanted to re-highlight this paragraph from last month's update, which has been absolutely incredible for me:
suomalainen wrote:
Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:11 pm
- I don't particularly enjoy work. But my new focus is this: "I may not value my services very highly, but I value my company's money highly. In a free market, I trade something I value less (my services) for something I value more (money) if the converse is also true. My company values my services more than a certain amount of money, so a trade is made. My purpose at work is to get money and I'm getting it. If I enjoy a day, great! If not, I should focus on what I'm there for - not meaning, not purpose, not happiness, not personal challenge -- money. I can always choose to not make the trade, but every day that I'm there, I am consciously, deliberately making that trade, so at the very least I'm getting what I paid for." This has worked for me when I've done it. I hope it continues. It also feels a little...stark...when I write it like that. Something something nihilism, probably. Anyway. Meaning, purpose, happiness and challenge will need to be found elsewhere.
Lowering my expectations of what I can get out of work has been incredibly psychologically freeing, especially on the days when the corporate bullshit is so thick it makes me want to gauge out my eyes (ears, really) and skullfuck myself. And my skullhole is sore from the fuckings it's taken the last two weeks. Oy vey. Daddy's been in a very bad mood.

At the same time, there are a couple of nuggets of wisdom I've picked up from some journals here that are tempering my expectations of what financial independence could really achieve for me:
halfmoon wrote:
Sat Nov 26, 2016 11:17 am
I see in retrospect that DH and I were oblivious and selfish. DS once told his dad: "This is your dream, not mine." Very true.
C40 wrote:
Sat Jan 07, 2017 1:12 pm
I’ve certainly had some “is this all there really is to life? ughhh” thoughts, but, in a good way, I think.
BRUTE wrote:
Mon May 29, 2017 2:14 pm
given another 6 months, it is possible C40 will completely lose the appreciation for new places, cultures, foods, and so on. this happened to brute eventually, where all places eventually blended together into "airport -> hotel -> airbnb -> supermarket -> repeat for a few weeks or months -> airport". the exotic locals started feeling less exotic. brute started missing "boring" things he'd never missed before - being able to purchase heavy cream at the store, good roads, Amazon.com, the ability to build a longer-term gym with weights..

[edit]

interestingly, brute's strategy for "solving" seems the complete opposite from C40's. first, brute doesn't think lack of appreciation is a problem. it's just hedonic adaptation. brute does not like to take pictures or read about things he did in the past or places he's been to in the past, even if they were positive. brute simply accepted that he'd picked the low-hanging fruit he could attain with this mode of travel for now, and his desires had changed. they might one day come back, and brute still has interest in other modes of travel, like in a van for example.

the realization for brute was this: nothing lasts, but nothing is lost.
-These are further reminders that life happens in the present. I sometimes chafe at my "lack of freedom", and think "Ugh, is this all there is?", which is probably borne from feeling burdened by responsibilities to or for people at every hour of my day (work, kids), so I have no freedom from responsibility. But, I also have to realize that I am currently "free to" enjoy things that others can't enjoy: I'm free to enjoy employment; I'm free to enjoy my children. I may be unemployed some day. I will have an empty nest some day. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Health Update

- I dunno, maybe it was triggered when I read @brute's journal for the first time or maybe by re-reaching my January 1 starting weight of 237 lbs, but either way, I had the oomph to finally get on a more "natural diet". I had my last real carbohydrate meal on September 20th. It was a half-sandwich (turkey cheese melt maybe?) and a bag of chips and a cookie from Panera. I had determined to kick the carbs totally for at least 3 days and the withdrawal for the first 3 days was fucking awful, I'm not gonna lie. But since then, I haven't really craved carbs or sweets that much. Wife even made a batch of cinnamon rolls, of which I would normally have consumed half of the batch, but I had a teaspoon tasting. I actually thought it might taste revolting, but I was pleasantly surprised that it was delicious! But I also had zero desire for more. I find it all very weird.
- The initial plan was to introduce natural carbs (no processed carbs) like fruits and veggies after going through the detox period, but I'm actually kind of worried about cracking open the door to any real amount of sugar. That shit is cocaine! I don't know if I can draw the line between an orange and a cinnamon roll.
- So, I have only had some incidental carbs here and there - breading on a few chicken strips once a week or so, bread crumbs in meatloaf, a tablespoon of ketchup with a burger, some spinach or spring greens pretty much every day, a nibble of this or that. But pretty much no more than 30g on any given day.
- I'm down 14 pounds in 3.5 weeks.
- I don't have blood sugar swings. I can easily skip meals. I rarely feel hungry unless it's been 24 hours between meals. I feel more stable.
- I also feel a bit lethargic when I go running. In fairness, I did get a respiratory illness a week or two after I started the new diet, so we'll see how that balances out. If I start to do longer/more intense sessions, I may need some carbohydrate help.
Last edited by suomalainen on Sun Feb 07, 2021 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BRUTE
Posts: 3797
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 5:20 pm

Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by BRUTE »

while the brain can be completely fueled by fat metabolism on a LCHF diet within 2 days to 2 weeks (=cravings disappear), it can take 3-12 months to completely adapt the rest of the energy consuming tissues in the body, like skeletal muscles. athlete report that performance is lower for 3 months to 6 months at least after switching to a LCHF diet.

so the basic idea is to give it at least 6 months before experimenting with reintroducing carbs. if after 6 months, performance still lacks, targeted or cyclical ketogenic diet (TKD/CKD) are common options.


suomalainen
Posts: 979
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

November Update

Post by suomalainen »

Assets/Net Worth/Liquid Net Worth

[deleted]

Dividends (PA only)

[deleted]

Other

- Down about 17 pounds over about 8 weeks. Some candy and stuff around/since Halloween. Should be careful I don't slip back into too many carbs.
- Been thinking about work. Way too much corporate bullshit over the last month. Really got me thinking about changing jobs. I could probably go back to my old law firm and make about $75k more (after tax, and that would be pure savings), but in exchange I'd probably have to work many more evenings and weekends. It's tough. The law firm work might be more...satisfying for me, but at the cost of less satisfaction in other parts of life. On the other hand, working at the firm would allow me to save a lot more and faster. But then what? I think my "ere ship" has sailed. ERE with kids at home just isn't going to work for me. Or for us, I guess I should say. I need to just accept that fact and not allow myself to focus too much on this future point in time when I hit "my number". So, if I do that, why not stay at the corporation and be a top performer without too much extra effort (9-6, no weekends) and hit my number around the same time as my youngest graduates high school (assuming I'm not paying for any college for any of the three!)? At the firm, I'd hit my number in 5 years rather than 10. I dunno. I'm not good at making decisions. May be why I'm a lawyer and not a business guy. I guess it boils down to two approaches to this retirement thing: 1) balls to the wall for the greatest amount of money in the shortest amount of time or 2) design a life I wouldn't want to retire from. On the other other hand, I'm kind of a miserable fuck either way*, so why not get paid more?

*Did I mention I was a Finn?
Last edited by suomalainen on Sun Feb 07, 2021 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

suomalainen
Posts: 979
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Decisions decisions

Post by suomalainen »

Well, it comes to it. I reached out to my old firm with a question about Job A (for which I'm not really qualified)...and I got offered Job B on the spot. After some back and forth since I don't particularly like the typical compensation structure, I was asked to essentially name my price. I gave it and I expect some, but only minimal, pushback. As I've thought about what to do, I'm torn, so I thought I'd do a pro-con list here and see if it helps me organize my thoughts.

Current job - "the easy option"
Pros: Well-paid. Busy at times, but also not busy at times. When it's busy, I can get away with skimming and relying on my experience. I do get cranky, but I still largely go home at 6 pm and don't look at my phone too much after. When it's not busy, I can dive deep into my work and do a very thorough job, which can be satisfying. When it's really slow, I surf the internet and get anxious about all the dumb shit in the world. In either case, plenty of down-time to putter around and/or do nothing on evenings and weekends. Other than the 9-6 (including going to the gym many days) part of it, this is a "life I wouldn't want to retire from".
Cons: 10-15 years in the job to get to my number (assuming we move and I pay for some kids' expenses, be it schooling or illnesses or whatnot). Constricted into the corporate mold for vacation time, etc. It also feels somewhat meaningless and I feel somewhat undervalued.

New job option - "the hard option"
Pros: Very, very well paid. My price includes a more variable compensation structure thereby removing the heavy penalty for under-performing (hours wise), therefore the downside stress is removed or limited (one of the worst parts of the job). Work will be somewhat similar with minor variations. Reach my number in 5-7 years, even with moving and paying for the kids. Would potentially allow me the flexibility to work from different locations, so I could try traveling with the kids during the summer (two weeks off, the rest of the time working remotely). Would potentially allow me the flexibility to just "take it easy" when I don't feel like working hard and to "balls to the wall" when I feel like working hard.
Cons: Would likely need to work 9-8 (I'd try for 7-6) regularly and some nights and weekends for closings. This would/could impact the family, whether due to my not being around as much or stress or whathaveyou. This is the very reason I was desperate to leave the firm in the first place (my reaction/justification for this is that the kids were younger then and I wanted to be home more, plus I had naive assumptions about how much more free time I would have. It's more, but not retired-more). Would have less time to "do nothing".

The "scared" part of me wants the easy option. The "courageous" part of me wants the hard option. A friend of mine used to say "sometimes you gotta look in your pants and see if you have any balls."

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Bankai
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Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by Bankai »

'Easy' is working 5 years. 'Hard' is working 10-15 years.

suomalainen
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Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by suomalainen »

Waking up this morning, the thought occurred to me to frame the question along a Michael Madsen (I think -- EDIT: Mark Manson a la The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck) line - which problem do I want?

Current job: accepting low level anxiety for longer because of 1) the feelings of being undervalued (both substantively and economically) and 2) not being able to maximize earnings even though I want to and 3) knowing I have increasing expenses coming and 4) not having the flexibility to try to live a different kind of life that I've always fantasized about in exchange for A) not having to go through a stressful, scary change and B) more day-to-day flexibility due to a less demanding work environment.

New Job: accepting higher anxiety for shorter because of 1) a more demanding work environment and 2) work impinging on family (and the knock-on effects on my wife's anxiety) in exchange for A) a shorter working window, B) better flexibility to handle anticipated expense increases and C) more flexibility to live out some of my fantasies (living and working in Europe for short periods).

The current job anxiety is the anxiety I've been dealing with for about two years now. My solution to it was to chant to myself "My purpose at work is to get money." And now I have a chance to have a greater purpose (get more money and potentially a new lifestyle). Will I seize it in exchange for the new type of anxiety or will I stay with the safe devil I currently know? I need another night's sleep on this. Everyone I discuss it with seizes on the fear of exchanging the current great "quality of life"/"work-life balance" for a shittier "quality of life"/"work-life balance". That makes me question my inclination, which is to take the new job.

Fish
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Re: November Update

Post by Fish »

My thoughts in this post still apply. Applied to my personal situation (which is similar to yours, at least financially), this is my reasoning for always selecting more free time over the money when presented with a choice: My marginal propensity to consume (as income is increased) is zero, and I am content with the level of savings I have achieved, which is about 10 years of expenses. At Wheaton level 2-3 the standard advice is to accumulate 8-10 years of expenses by normal retirement age. Under today's rules, I can still "win the game" while living at a 0% savings rate, or slightly negative even -- all that is needed is to ensure the stash keeps up with my personal cost of living. The point is that money is no longer a scarce resource. And when you are able to convince yourself of this, you are free to make better lifestyle decisions without the constraint to maximize income.

Is there any concrete impact to your life when you hit your number? Even if you hit your number within 5-7 years, you may still decide to work until #3 is out of high school... or out of college... or done with post-graduate studies/age 26 when they can no longer be covered under your health insurance?! Although I fantasize about FI/RE as much as anyone here, due to my personal choices (living a normal life with the usual means and ends, AND having children on top of that) there will be many incentives to keep working for many years to come. :cry: :evil: This motivates the "design a life I wouldn't want to retire from" approach. But if your burnout is projected to occur at a point when you no longer need additional income, either option works...

On the subject of puttering around, it recalls the part in Lin Yu-Tang's book "The Importance of Living" where he tells the story of the housewife who stuffs her apartment full of furniture and finds it difficult to do anything because it is so cramped. The author then makes the observation that it is not the furniture that makes the house livable, but rather the empty space. Furthermore, this observation also extends to life in general, with scheduled activities being the "furniture" and downtime being the "empty space." The puttering might be the thing that keeps you sane.
suomalainen wrote:
Wed Nov 15, 2017 10:28 pm
On the other other hand, I'm kind of a miserable fuck either way*, so why not get paid more?
But if this is the case then you clearly don't appreciate what you have and a change of scenery might be just what you need. Best of luck with your decision. It's wonderful to have options. 8-)

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jennypenny
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Re: Suomalaisen Päiväkirja

Post by jennypenny »

suomalainen wrote:
Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:09 am
Waking up this morning, the thought occurred to me to frame the question along a Michael Madsen (I think -- EDIT: Mark Manson a la The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck) line - which problem do I want?
Elizabeth Gilbert frames this as 'Which shit sandwich are you willing to eat?' ... no job is perfect so pick the one with the most palatable downsides (and only you can decide that).

Maybe you're tempted to switch jobs because you like the idea of being busier at work since you're at the peak kid phase? (not judging, just asking)

Now that two of my kids are in college, I'm glad we have the time and money to visit them and make time for them when they are available. If taking the higher paying job means that you might have more flexibility to engage with them when they are high school/college age, then it might be worth it. IMO that transition age is hard and you (the parent) have to work harder at maintaining the relationship.

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