Slow Burn, Slow Death

Where are you and where are you going?
dagiffy
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:06 pm

Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by dagiffy »

Greetings, individuals.

Like everyone else here, I assume, I have been enjoying The Great One's posts and now decided to inhabit these forumnal locations. I can't do early retirement, mainly because I am old...early 50s. Not bragging, just saying. The other thing is that I was ludicrous with money until about 18 months ago and will probably be digging my way out of about 85k of debt till I retire at about 60. I hope.

This is about 75k less than when I started paring down about 18 months ago, but at this point I have worked so much overtime that I don't ever want to work again...but I'm not nearly finished. Therein lies a nasty rub.

I do make decent money, but as I live in one of the most expensive states in the union the cost of living makes that not as good of a deal as it would be elsewhere. Nevertheless, they pay me well enough. The problem is that going to my job every day is almost enervating to the point that I wish to slit my throat to get out of it. Out of the 5 day work week, 4 days are like this, on average. But like the classic line, "It's not my job; it's me."

My gurus, as it were, in this lifestyle are The Great One himself, JF Lisker, as well as MMM and GCC. I found GCC first through a Yahoo article, which turned me on to this in the first place. Then I ran into MMM, then The Great One. After reading his book, I moved into my car for 5 months and did deadly damage to my debts.

School loan at 55k; CC debt at 30k. Over half of that CC debt has no interest currently. Paying on two cars; attempting to sell one, although I can't sell the one for what I owe on it. Yet. I'm paying it down faster than it depreciates, so I hope to score before the end of the year.

I hate my job with a holy passion, but it's all I got at the moment. For example, I'm working tomorrow (Saturday) for what looks to be 12 to 15 hours of OT (960 to 1275 dollars gross income for the day) but I'd almost rather be hit by a truck or rob a bank so I'd be put in jail and not have to work. Boo hoo!

But there it is. Getting through a five day week is very hard; giving up one of my two days off is insanity, or brings me to the brink of it. But how can I turn down that OT money, right? Anyone else out there loathing their job but unable to make nearly as much anywhere else? Golden handcuff syndrome?

Did
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Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:50 am

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by Did »

I don't think it's healthy to hate your job that much. Can you get another one? In a different location with a lower cost of living perhaps? What sort of golden handcuffs can you have with that sort of debt?

Can you sell something to free yourself from this job you hate so much?

It goes without saying, but are you sure you can't reduce your costs. Put everything on the table. Gun to your head sort of stuff - what could be done if you absolutely had to. Sounds like you need it.

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Viktor K
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Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2016 9:45 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by Viktor K »

I agree. If your job will get you where you want to be, then assess whether or not you want the life you have now for x # of years that it will take to free yourself. If you feel like this now, and you have 10 more years ahead of you of the same, is that okay with you?

If not, what sort of changes can you make that will make whatever timeline you're facing more tolerable?

That being said, I think one strength is already obvious: perseverance and determination. For some people, a shitty situation is crushing. For others, yourself I would imagine, it only requires a brief and occasional venting to shoulder on.

And I know how you feel. I'm on a 1 week vacation right now before it is back to 7 days/week. No overtime really, but no day off. It makes one wonder, is this worth it?
Last edited by Viktor K on Sat Sep 30, 2017 1:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

thrifty++
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Joined: Sat May 23, 2015 3:46 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by thrifty++ »

Your job does sound pretty bad for you.

If you have another say 8 or so years to go then its seems pretty punishing to have to work through this the whole time.

I was once in a job I hated and was very stressful. I managed to segue out of it at some point. Hopefully you can do the same and find something more pleasant .Or at least less unpleasant.

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Seppia
Posts: 2016
Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2016 9:34 am
Location: South Florida

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by Seppia »

I would also add: why do you have to work so much if you don't like it?
You're 50, you still have plenty of time to fix your financial situation. Maybe better to slow down a bit and make it more bearable?
I find that a lot of times people don't actually hate their jobs, they just hate being overworked.
Too much of something can render the best thing ever unbearable.
So maybe reducing the number of hours could significantly add to your quality of life.

Next, look at the costs to find the extra money.
As usual, housing is the first item to look at
Transportation second: two cars? Just sell one immediately and take the loss, why would you have to wait?
Then food: how much do you eat out? Try reducing that.

You could end up saving the same, working less

classical_Liberal
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Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:05 am

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by classical_Liberal »

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Last edited by classical_Liberal on Thu Feb 04, 2021 11:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dagiffy
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by dagiffy »

Yes, it is I, dagiffy.

The vehicle I wish to get rid of is the aforementioned Chevy Volt. My wife and I now cohabitate after a little over two years apart and I find that she does not want to move in to the Batcave with me. And so we now have a two bedroom apartment renting for 1300 a month, which is pretty much dirt cheap in this area. My vagabond spirit loathes this domestication. Moreover, when my wife commissioned a large moving truck to get our stuff down here I was struck with the enormity of our possessions. We cannot get all of our things into the domicile! Many many boxes and some furniture still wait in the garage for their eventual transcription into service. Once in a while I will tell my wife that we have too many things and that we need to sell them, then she will reply that if we had a bigger place we could have somewhere to put it all.

I chose the smallest, cheapest, newest place I could find. It is the apartment version of the Batcave, which was so small that when I found out I needed to change my mind, I had to get dressed and get up and step out onto the blacktop to do it because there was not enough room inside the car. I say we keep what we have inside the house and sell, giveaway, or trash everything in the garage except for the washer and dryer. My wife says let's wait till we move into a bigger place, of which the very thought curdles my blood.

So we are at a stalemate there. We don't eat out to speak of, perhaps on average once every six weeks. We do not entertain cable but we do have Internet. We employ the Republic wireless cell phone plan, although the service and the helpdesk of this company are about the worst I've ever found in my life. As for myself I am having fun trying out some of The Great One's recipes on how to eat cheaply while yet firing off enough taste buds to keep it interesting and avoid refunding the product through the intake valve.

My wife has a $20 per month membership at Planet Fitness, which she does use, while I will have a work out using my own ample bodyweight, some cheap weights I purchased years ago, and a bike that I bought used from a Portland touring bike company located down on 2nd street.

The credit card debt exists chiefly because I am an overzealous idiot. I discovered that I could use a zero fee cash advance and 0% interest for a certain amount of time to pay off huge chunks of the student loan, and then I could work enough overtime to pay off the credit card before the introductory period expired. This worked marvelously until I transferred out of the bay area to colder confines of north, which cut my living expenses into half of what they would've been but also crippled my overtime prospects.

At my brilliant best I was paying off in earned cash about $6000 per month on my debt. This went on for about the five months that I lived in my car and then about 4000 a month for about five months that I lived in a studio apartment with no kitchen. Then it became time to once again cohabitate with my wife.

I find that I am stuck with that credit card debt and now having to play the shell game to keep from paying too much interest on it while I hack it to pieces with very small knives, gobbling down the overtime when it becomes available and hating myself and the horse I rode in on because I simply must do this.

I used to work at Genentech, the cancer drug company, as an instrument tech specialist and I noticed recently that one of my coworkers there abruptly quit her job there after four years and went to start a business making handmade leather goods. She relocated to her hometown in Washington state and is now making a go of it. I was so jealous that I almost spontaneously combusted.

And so well that brings me to today. It is Saturday and I got up at about 4 AM to be at work at 5 AM so that I could work until 9 PM and make 1200 bucks. Earlier this week I worked a 14 hour day and a 12 hour day, but next week it does not appear that there will be any overtime at all. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am making about 60% of what I was making when I was working 80 hour weeks.

I will say this, however: when you're working 80 hour weeks at this hourly wage you can pay off debt much faster than if you're not working 80 hour weeks. This could possibly be the most unfair truth in the history of the world. It is also an inconvenient truth, one I find most vexing and, I might add, enervating.

I see what I need to do to get this over with and I guess I'm just too old for it now. I'm like Hugh Hefner in his late 80s; I know what to do but I just can't bring myself to do it.

It's like shooting pool with a rope.

dagiffy
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by dagiffy »

I ended up working 19 hours yesterday (Saturday). I don't know what's worse: working that many hours in one day or only getting a one day break before starting another work week!

dagiffy
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by dagiffy »

I called in sick today, even though I'm not sick.

Through a few well-time incidents such as vacations, training, and sickness in the office here and there, I would have been working 18 of 19 days. The very thought of that curdles my blood. Last night I was annoyed enough to consider calling in sick the rest of the week, but as I have no sick time left I partially came to my senses this morning and just called in for one day.

I will be working both days this weekend because no one else can do it, tomorrow (Thursday) I am in charge of some field workers, and I have to work Friday if I'm going to get paid overtime for this weekend, so if I was going to be "off" it had to be today.

My wife is out of state dealing with family matters, so I'm bachelorizing it for 5 weeks. Dishes piling up, cat boxes getting changed less frequently, laundry suddenly stopped miraculously doing itself. Me working 12, 14, 19 hour days, too many days in a row? Heck with it, I'm sick.

I find myself fantasizing and daydreaming while reading about some of your lives, particularly those of you who can afford to do what you wish with your days. I'm SO far away from that yet entertain notions about moving to Guatemala or someplace cheaper to get out of this life-sucking rat race.

I am up for a job back in Portland, OR, from where we moved to CA. It pays probably half of what I'm making here. Maybe 60% with everything considered, like bonuses, which aren't guaranteed. This job works a kind of rotating 12 hour shift schedule which yields 11 workdays in the first 15 days, then 11 days off in the next 15 days. It has built in OT because of this. Guys are fond of putting in for vacation for the 4 days in the second 15 to get nearly 3 weeks off.

My wife could work there at her profession. She can't do that in CA because of licensing issues which she has no desire to resolve, but her whole life is there and I could see us finishing our careers, as such they are, there because PNW is where we want to be. Anyway, my wife could contribute much more living there than here in CA, so the drop in income won't be quite as severe, maybe a 20% drop from this situation here.

I have been frantically trying to work out some method of transit/bike situation so that if I should land this job I could work there without needing a car. The 12 hour days make it tough, as it is a little ways from anywhere, really. The one neighborhood close by is legendary for being tweekerville, but anywhere else is a good 10 miles away, at least, and not bike friendly. Online estimates are always 90 minutes one way or so, which means on a typical day I'd be doing a 15 hour day, including travel to and from work. Yuck.

I guess I really, REALLY want to get out of here. I'm going to try to get my wife to let go of her huge furniture collection so that we can move into a used RV relatively soon. Anything to cut costs, maximize debt destruction, and get the hell out of this awful situation called "career". I shoulda learned to play the guitar, I shoulda learned to play them drums...

Riggerjack
Posts: 3182
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:09 am

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by Riggerjack »

Huh. Your schedule sounds awesome! I work 4-10's, but I would be happy to trade you.

Not the sympathy you were expecting, sure, but I am here to help.

I've been the guy working 80-100 hour weeks. When I was in the service, I worked 7-14's for 6 months straight. Working long hours requires a certain mindset. Get as much of your personal shit done on company time as possible. Eliminate everything outside of work/commute/home life. Understand that OT drains you, but also adds to your family's workload as well. Trying to add hours at work, without removing tasks and activities at home will burn you and your wife out. Not being in agreement with your wife on priorities will also burn you out.

So, first thing, get home right, and work will flow from there.

Next, see about offloading the commute. Carpool. Pay your chauffeur whatever, pay gas, and whatever. You are buying peace and time off at a deep discount. Pay a young coworker to drive so you can sleep.

Next, realize that money is only money. Do not sell your health for filthy lucre.

Next, think about what you like/dislike about work, and start strategically removing the dislikes from your day. Sometimes this can be done by specializing in the part of the job you like. Sometimes by trading responsibility with a co-worker. Sometimes by asking your boss, and others telling your boss.

You are a highly paid specialist in high demand, see your posts for proof. So if your job is hell, that is at least as much your fault as the company's. It's not like you are butchering chickens on an assembly line. You have control and influence. Use them.

Hourly wages are the least effective trade of your time and expertise. How would you do as a self employed contractor, or independent business owner? Lots of nonproductive work tied into both roles, but also much higher rate of pay. Would this work for you?

How about a complete change? What would happen if you took a sabbatical, and spent 6 months doing something else, charity work, surfing, whatever. Go back, recharged, with new priorities.

I guess my advice would be to take off your blinders, look at all the possibilities, choose one, and focus on making it the best fit for you.

Good luck.

dagiffy
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by dagiffy »

You offer a lot of great tips. This job is weird, though, I can't apply a lot of them. It's a union job, craft divisions, contract rules, etc. My schedule is M-F, 8 hours per day. My commute is ten minutes, no traffic. Ever. The OT is hit and miss, lately a lot of hit. Can't really specialize. I am highly paid because that is the negotiated union wage. This same job anywhere else that I have ever found is less than half the income, and the income is the ONLY reason I'm still here. It's not enough anymore!

If I was 25 and not 52, this life wouldn't bother me. It never has before, the long hours or the dull and dreary work. I used to go to work washing dishes at Denny's on two hours sleep, hungover, and was happy as a clam. But I was 20 years old. I spent years in the Navy on a ship, no days off, ever, for months at a time. Didn't bother me. I was early 20s. Not anymore! Roofed houses year round in Boise, ID, for four years. Roofed in sub zero and well over 100F. Usually sunup to sundown. Didn't bother me too much. Now I'm just done with it. I'm out of gas. Not bragging, just saying. You know how it is.

I could possibly do something else for six months, and now that you brought that up I just might do something else. Move back to the PDX area without a job but poke around until I find one, hope it takes a while, thaw out. I need to get out of this before it kills me.

I have wracked my brain trying to figure out what kind of business I could start. I'd be willing to work at that, but after pondering coffee shop / book store and taco truck, I ran out of ideas! My wife and I often sit and talk about what we could do. I'm not that good at brainstorming. I ask myself what would I do if I knew I could not fail? Don't come up with anything! I've wondered about buying a book that helps you learn to brainstorm, but it it's anything like buying a book to learn Spanish, well, it won't help so much.

Just an hour or two ago my wife actually responded that we DO have a lot of stuff and we DO need to get rid of a lot. That's a neat 180 on her part. Hope it sticks! I just tried to get rid of one of our 3 cats while she was gone...the no kill shelter is full up. They won't take him. Never should have gotten cats.

Riggerjack
Posts: 3182
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:09 am

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by Riggerjack »

Brainstorming. Has anyone ever come up with a good idea from a session of brainstorming? You might as well form a focus group, then outsource the solution to pigeons.

If you want a business, look at businesses. Look at lists, and cross most of it off. If this were the 90's I would say go thru the phone book. Now, you can do better. Look at Google maps. All the businesses are listed, by name, with linked webpages. Find a dozen things people are already doing, that work, that you would like to do. Then go to where you want to be, and do that.

I'm only 5 years younger than you. And working in a union job.

And my plan is to build a chapel, and run a marriage mill. Not because I love the whole wedding industry, but because I want to build the chapel, and I don't mind newlyweds coming to my place, where I will show them around a bit, then marry them off, then send them on their way, and keep the check.

I got.ordained to marry a good friend, he got ordained to preside over my wedding, so turnabout is fair play. I already planned to build the chapel before that, so this is just a reallocation of available and planned resources, not the sum of my lifetime's dreams and goals.

The more money you stash, the less income you need. The less income you need, the more open your options.

You don't have to be FI to be free. But it helps. I want out before FI. Mainly, I just don't want to commute, so I need a business that will come to me.

Choose a business that caters to your wants/needs. Take a look, Google will tell you all you want to know.

dagiffy
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by dagiffy »

Now I know why people say you are the greatest thing that ever lived. Next to Brute. What a great idea...GOOGLE! You're right, I do have blinders on. How to get the dammed things off.

Riggerjack
Posts: 3182
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:09 am

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by Riggerjack »

Well, next to BRUTE is a fine place to be.

I recommended google maps, because Google is too broad, you may as well go back to brainstorming. But Google maps makes this more manageable. Map out where you want to be, and start there.

For instance, if I have a house in the suburbs, opening a hydraulics shop probably won't work. And scanning the suburbs, a hydraulics shop won't come up. But there are an amazing variety of garage based businesses operating in the suburbs. I assume you would like to start small, so it's a good place to look.

For instance, in my neighborhood, there's a few small farms, a kite business, a few nails places, a yardwork business, etc. A kite business, I never would have thought about that. Probably never made a business of it either, but that's me.

My point is you don't have to be original, the maps are all laid out of people who have already gone down this road. So here is where you look for what people are doing.

When you register your business, Google will list you, too. Factor this in. For instance, I took my car to a independent shop, but because his wife does the books, and listed their home address on the paperwork, Google will show both locations on the map. Nothing to think about 25 years ago, but now it's an issue not easily resolved. Now he has a few new customers a week showing up at his house. It's been a big enough problem he has a sign up at home, redirecting people to his shop.

The internet is full of people trying to tell you how to start your own business. I'm not one of them. I don't have mine yet. But they are out there, cast a skeptical eye about and you should be able to find something you like more than your current gig, anyway.

chenda
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Location: Nether Wallop

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by chenda »

What are your aptitudes ? What are you naturally good at ? I would focus on businesses or jobs which cater to these, rather than what you think might be interesting or fulfulling. When your good at something, above average in your field, it brings its own rewards and satisfaction.

A few years ago I was stuck in estate agency, which I was terrible at and always would be bad at. I went through the same as you, desperately trying to find something which would be the perfect career solution. Being in a job you hate colours your judgement and leads to bad decision making, in my experience. You look for a solution to your present misery, not what would actually suit you.

dagiffy
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by dagiffy »

Alright. Great ideas. What is that book that tells you your personality category? Sometimes I see people introduce themselves with that. The reason I ask is that I have never seen or heard of anything on this Earth that I'd like to do for a living. I loathe some things much more than others, though! Might give me some ideas.

chenda
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Location: Nether Wallop

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by chenda »

Something like this https://www.amazon.co.uk/Aptitude-Test- ... 074946190X

You can do personality tests online.

dagiffy
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by dagiffy »

I did the B-M one and came up INFP and shocked as to how close it pegged me, roughly 80% matches me. It's a little off though (I don't do empathy well nor is helping others reach their goals what turns my crank), so I looked up INTP and that had a lot of traits I see in myself also, but the career suggestions left me cold. Not so for that INFP career suggestions. I just don't feel like I have enough lead left in my pencil to go back to school to train on something else so I'm feeling like the Google map approach to starting a business is making the most sense for me right now. I need to save more cash instead of blowing it on debt in order to be able to not work for a couple months. I have no emergency fund whatsoever.

chenda
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Location: Nether Wallop

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by chenda »

To reiterate, I would focus on your aptitudes rather than your personality type, which is a related but different matter.

You don't want to run weddings a la dragline if you don't do empathy well.

dagiffy
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:06 pm

Re: Slow Burn, Slow Death

Post by dagiffy »

Aptitudes. Dang. Missed it. I'm apt to do just about anything, though. I seem to have an aptitude for that. But words. I like words. Been told a jillion times I should "be a writer".

I can fake empathy really well. I was a concierge in an exclusive (expensive) high rise apartment building for 1 1/2 years. I had people tell me they picked where to live based on the fact that I was there. An introvert in an extrovert job, and I did it with caffeine.

I've been chasing the highest income I could get for so long, it never occurred to me to choose according to my aptitude. As I've seen these past couple years, though, eventually that becomes extremely tedious and painful. And life sucking. I'm kind of stuck between needing/wanting to destroy debt and wanting to be engaged in something that floats my boat. Wonder if I could have both.

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