Five Years, Lord Willing

Where are you and where are you going?
suomalainen
Posts: 976
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by suomalainen »

What are your sucky motivations? Or were, since they've now changed? And what need were you trying to satisfy? You speak in analogies and hidden meanings, but if you're gonna bring it up at all here, you [edit: may] as well come right out with it.

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

Warren Buffet said people are motivated by basically two things: money and acknowledgment. I think I need to become more weighted towards the former and do things just because I like to do them not for any other reason.

suomalainen
Posts: 976
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by suomalainen »

WB would be wrong. Or superficial. People are basically motivated by filling unmet needs. And both of those things are proxies - symbols, not actual needs. For example, both of those could represent security for someone who feels insecure, perhaps financially (money) or emotionally (acknowledgment). My wife, for example, wants to buy a house with an exterior that "makes a statement" because (her words after some discussions) she's always felt like a poor hick. Unfortunately, the houses she likes say to me "I'M A DOUCHE!" Hence our inability to agree on a new house. She wants to buy a house to partly assuage some past emotional scar. I primarily want a house that is functional (keeps me warm and cozy in the winter) and don't care what it looks like so long as it isn't an eyesore. Our current house is mostly functional (and pink!) so it will work for us, at least in one person's view.

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

So you live in the realized version of a John Cougar Mellencamp song. That's a lot to take in.

I think Buffet meant how do you motivate people - money and acknowledgement. That's how he runs his office. From that standpoint, I think he's right, as it has worked out pretty well for him.

On your general point, I agree. Am I trying to fill up unmet needs by empty consumerism, possessions, status, etc. Consumerism obviously values image/aesthetics over function/utility and commoditizes time, making either the past or future a better version of present. It's not just the crap, its the crap psychology they wrap the crap in. And I'm sick of it and sick of people who are not sick of it.

But ultimately, I refer to the swirl of bullshit that has been in my fucking head for far too long and that is subjective as it is for most people and not worth discussing in its particularities as will come off as self-indulgent and bore the everlasting crap out of anyone stupid enough to read it.

suomalainen
Posts: 976
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by suomalainen »

Do you take shits for other people?

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

Is that like an interview question? I'm not sure what you're getting at.

suomalainen
Posts: 976
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by suomalainen »

Ha that would be a great interview question!

Point is that a journal is a brain toilet, so go ahead and take a brain shit in it. The shitting is for you; staring at other people's shit is for the perversely curious.

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

I appreciate the invitation to take a brain dump. I'll wait to when I'm feeling it.

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

Bad News: Zillow giveth and Zillow shits in your bed. Apparently Mr. Market wiped his ass with 7K of my paper net worth. I guess its all paper unless its under the mattress. Anyways, fuck you Zillow and all the cheap shit homebuyers you are monitoring.

Good News: I tidied up this morning. I'm reading that Japanese lady. As helpful as she is, I'm adding her to the small list of women I won't be having sex with. You probably can't even wrinkle the sheets with her and I'm not big on taking instructions. I am receiving 12K this week.

Other various and sundry shit: I am working on time and mental management. I am working on not listening to myself. My brain is like an industry manufacturing bullshit. Everyone dies. I need to get over that. Big deal.

Noedig
Posts: 191
Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2014 10:15 pm

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Noedig »

Jason, you appear to be struggling with a vortex of dark thoughts and entertaining self doubt. Keep clinging to the raft until the waters are less choppy. Encouraging thoughts to you meantimes, not that that is of any practical help.

I thought of quoting you some Tony Robbins at you, that vacuous superficial vainglorious fakester. But why kick a man when he's down?

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

Thank you on both accounts, Noedig, as I do believe that Tony Robbins is the anti-Christ.

My wife just accused me of reveling in misery. She has a point.

EdithKeeler
Posts: 1099
Joined: Sun Sep 01, 2013 7:55 pm

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by EdithKeeler »

Best journal. I read the whole thing last night and laughed out loud. Good stuff!!

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

Good News: I am at an all time high in straight up cash, homes. Not in net worth because Zillow is reducing the value of my condo as I write this bullshit. One day I'm going to go to there office and tell them I hope their asses depreciate to dust. I can sniff $400K. I need at this moment about 27K to get there. To me, that's a milestone that gives me some moat. I need moat. 500K and I got some nutsack biting off alligators to swim in that moat.

Book Buying: I am utilizing the public library. So there.

Food: Eating out too much. Got to look after that.

Mental Attitude: By all standard and measures, still a negative prick.

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

My life has become about the search for $100.00. If I can find $100.00 it goes to my mortgage or my investment accounts. The minimum for each month is $600 extra for mortgage and $1000.00 in investment savings. I can't control my home value and I can't control the stock market. But I am living on the assumption that its better to save than not. If the home depreciates, at least I own it and it will remove my home payment. Index funds are index funds. I know people argue on home ownership but I'm not renting again. Despite what that Canadian braggart chick yaps on about.

Control is an illusion. So its not even a consideration anymore. I get up. I'm alive. Period. I have no rights or entitlements on this earth.

Frugalchicos
Posts: 658
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:23 pm
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Frugalchicos »

I just read something you might like:

If you are distressed by anything external (your home value or whatever might bother you) the pain is not due to the thing itself, but your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Jason, as you said, you get up, you are alive. I bet you try as hard as you can...fuck it. Sometimes we get too focused or stubborn during our journeys and we forget what life is about.

Those $100 will come if you keep doing what you are doing, don't dwell on it all day everyday.

slowtraveler
Posts: 722
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by slowtraveler »

If your life has become about the search for $100 I say go for it. Once some principle is built you'll be far more relaxed and be able to focus in on life quality from a position of fuck it.

Gilberto de Piento
Posts: 1940
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:23 pm

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Gilberto de Piento »

Bad News: Zillow giveth and Zillow shits in your bed. Apparently Mr. Market wiped his ass with 7K of my paper net worth. I guess its all paper unless its under the mattress. Anyways, fuck you Zillow and all the cheap shit homebuyers you are monitoring.
Why does this matter right now? Are you planning on selling the condo soon? If not, stop looking at it, remove Zillow from Mint if that's where you're seeing it. The day to day fluctuations probably aren't useful information.

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

You are right - thank you for the advice.

Jason

Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason »

Felipe wrote:
Wed Sep 27, 2017 9:22 am
If your life has become about the search for $100 I say go for it. Once some principle is built you'll be far more relaxed and be able to focus in on life quality from a position of fuck it.
I want to clarify this. What I really mean is, I don't want to need $100.00. If there is $100 lying around, it should be sent to the future. It's about cutting. If I have $100.00, I want to say, I don't need this $100.00. I have nothing to spend it on. I have no consumer impulse or gratification or debt. It's $100 that should just be sent to my mound of other $100's. I'm trying to skim $100.00's. If I can skim $100's then I don't need it now, therefore, I won't need it in the future which means I have reduced my overhead.

ERE to me is the rejection of the middle class which in my view was a creation of the 1% to keep us all out of their fuckin hair in order that they can rule the world. Create a false God, materialistic security. Tell everyone they need a temple i.e. home ownership. Then create 1000s of idols that they believe they need to fill up their temple i.e. televisions, laundry machines, cars, kids, electric toothbrushes, stereos. Create a cycle of functional obsolesces and trap the idol worshippers in economic slavery to the false God we have them worshipping so they no longer think about "real" things and bug the shit out of us.

I had an interesting experience. Or what I think is an interesting experience. I went to refi last year. Turns out I didn't have enough equity due to the loss of market value. I was at the branch of a huge consumer lending institution. They immediately said "Sorry." But I asked "How much do I need to bring the L/V to where you need it. They said "low five figures." I said "Ok, I'll put it in." They looked at me like I had three heads. It occurred to me that these people who work in a bank do not expect people to have money because that's the banks goal - take our fuckin money. They want us to have just enough money to pay them what they owe. They want us in their crosshairs. If we have too much money, we don't need them. If we have too little money, we can't pay them back what we want to borrow.

jacob
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by jacob »

@Jason - Pass go! Do collect all the monies you'll ever need. I suppose at this point there would be some kind of sound effect signifying the next level, like bling, pling, bloing, or something like that.

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