the animal's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
theanimal
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by theanimal »

Well, there was a misunderstanding on my end with regards to the job. No job it is. I went to the training this past weekend in town, but it was more of a get to know you type of thing. They may call me if there are openings, but I'm not holding my breath. I think I've come to terms with the fact that I don't like taking other people around in the backcountry anyway. I'd much rather go out and do my own thing.

Back to square one, the issue that's been plaguing me for the past however many months. On the outside everything seems fine, I'm still working out and am in decent shape, I'm meeting new people and making new friends and doing cool things somewhat frequently. But on the inside I feel incredibly lost. It almost seems inevitable now that I'll move to town at some point. I'm not sure when and I'm not sure what I'll do. But in the Arctic, I find myself with an abundance of time, plenty of things worth doing, but nobody to share it with. That often ends up leading to boredom and/or loneliness. My main outlets are walking and reading. Luckily I don't really have any vices. I've found that I enjoy my time alone, but socializing frequently is just as important. Christopher McCandless of Into the Wild fame has the notable quote (of a quote), "Happiness only real when shared." A couple years ago I would have said that wasn't true for me, that I was tough enough to go it alone without issue. Not anymore.

I'll probably go on another long walk in June. And I have a wilderness race in July that I'm looking forward to. Those trips bring temporary feelings of purpose and peace through their simplicity. I'm glad I have that.

Jason

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason »

Sorry about the job.

Studies of people in solitary confinement back up your experience. And these are hardened, sociopathic motherfuckers who end up whimpering like rain soaked puppies for human attention. Very few people can withstand sustained periods of being alone. It sucks but it's how we are wired. That's why finding one person on this planet you can stand to be around on an on-going basis is essential. It's not just companionship it's good companionship. It reminds me of what Charlie Sheen said of all those whores he paid for "I don't pay them to come over, I pay them to leave." Well, it doesn't remind me of that. I just love quoting that sentence.

Just remember it's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of your humanity.

halfmoon
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by halfmoon »

@the animal, I hope you don't mind that I went back to early in your thread (2014) to find this:
theanimal wrote:
Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:56 pm
This is a tough post for me to write.

In a few hours, I will be leaving Alaska heading back towards home. In short, I failed and I failed quickly. I had been anxious and unsure of my plans ever since I got to Alaska. I made it up to the Brooks Range and my starting point after a failed hitch-hiking/walking attempt that left me with a low level of confidence.

As I arrived at my starting point, the immensity of the task I had to accomplish and the true remoteness/wilderness left me feeling incapable and very unsure of my abilities. In short, I did not feel mentally prepared at all. I spent the night there and, after much thought and discussion with my parents, I realized my heart wasn't in it anymore and caught a ride back to Fairbanks.

I had spoken a lot before with others about completing the task alone and how I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Well that ended up not being true. At this point in my life, the vast remoteness of that area is something that I feel I can not endure on my own.

This was a very tough and disappointing decision for me to make after committing four months to planning. While short, this trip will have a lasting effect and has taught me a lot about my personal limits and trip planning among other things. Hopefully, I can get back into a solid state mentally and figure out what to do from here once I get home.
Look at how far you've come in 3 years, the incredible personal growth and confidence you've gained. It sounds as though you know internally that it's time for another direction, but something inside you sees leaving the wilderness as failure. It wouldn't be failure or "giving in"; it would be change. Change is tough, but it's how you keep growing.

Best wishes for the next chapter of your life, wherever it may take you. Keep in mind that you can always come back to the wilderness, maybe with a new perspective or a partner.

theanimal
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by theanimal »

Summer always seems to go by fast. In the Arctic, that perception usually matches reality. Here at the close of July, I find myself at the tail end of summer. Within the next couple weeks, we’ll have our first frost, the night sky and stars will return, and vegetation will reach peak color by month’s end. The past couple months weren’t what I would have expected them to be half a year ago, but for the most part, life has been good.

There have been researchers in the area studying snowshoe hares and lynx. The snowshoe hare population cycles every 17 years in this area and we are about 1 year away from the peak. As such, there are hundreds of hares within the surrounding vicinity. With the increased prey, lynx move in from other areas further south and east. I began working/helping out the researchers starting in May. Most of it is on a volunteer basis but I have been paid for some activities. The people are great and the daily work often involves roaming about the mountains trying to retrieve radio/gps collars, checking live traps and looking for lynx among other things. The highlight of this experience so far was at the beginning of this month, when we used gps data to try and find a possible den site (for lynx)*. It ended up being much easier than we thought and we found the den with 6 kittens inside. That was beyond cool. This upcoming month we’ll be trying to catch more lynx to add more radio collars.

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Lynx Kittens

Just over a couple weeks ago, I left the Arctic and went to southern Alaska to fish for salmon (reds to be specific aka sockeyes) with a friend. Alaska has certain areas that serve as dip net fisheries, solely for Alaskan Residents. A dip net is essentially what it sounds like. A net attached to the end of a 6-10 ft pole that you dip into eddies along a river and try to catch salmon. There are plenty of videos on Youtube for the curious. It is more difficult than it sounds. Most of the time is waiting on shore, holding the net and hoping that the fish are running strong. My friend and I hadn’t done anything like it before, so we had a steep learning curve early on. The first 24 hours, we only caught 6 fish between the two of us, with our nets being in the water for about 21 of those hours. That’s some slow fishing. The Copper River (where this dip net fishery is) has a canyon further down and we eventually decided to check it out, since we weren’t having much luck. We found stronger eddies and I was able to catch 17 fish within 3 hours, eventually hitting the limit of 25 not long after that. We left shortly thereafter, processed them at his house and I now have a freezer full of salmon filets, whole fish and roe. I calculated out the costs and each filet comes out to be about ~$3 for 1.5-2 lbs a pop. It beats the store by a large margin but still on the higher end. As I’ve mentioned previously, there is very little fishing where I live. Most of my expense was gas for driving there and back. There is an area that is closer that I’ll likely pursue next year.

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Fish #25 and me

I didn’t participate in the summer race that I mentioned above. The excitement wasn’t there for me this year and I didn’t want to endure ~2 weeks of recovery post race for something that I didn’t really want to do. I’ve still been able to go hiking on a regular basis in the area, but haven’t been doing long trips or anything.

I wrote an essay about my experience living here this past winter and the major AK newspaper is publishing it! It’s going to be my first article where I’m receiving compensation. Exciting!

I’ve decided to pursue getting a pilot’s license. There is a major shortage in the US due to the large cohort of old pilots that are retiring in droves. In AK, this holds true and demand is very high because of the importance of aviation in the state. I did self study for ground school and just passed the FAA’s Private Pilot Knowledge Test this past Friday. I’m planning on beginning the flying portion in the fall. I found a location in the Midwest that has cheap rates, and will be completing it down there. The upfront cost is on the larger end, though I think it will be worthwhile (as of now).

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Flowers blowing in the alpine

The same problems persist as I have mentioned before. There’s loneliness and boredom but I am getting better at mitigating those issues. I’ve made more good friends in the city and have made more frequent trips there and also to the other town nearby my cabin. It comes at an increased expense, yet it preserves my sanity. I’m OK with the tradeoff for now. The plan is to move from this area to the nearby city next spring.

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A nearby mountain in the late evening light of midsummer

Fall offers plenty of things to do. Berries are becoming ripe and waiting to be picked, hunting season begins and final preparations are made for winter. Berry prospects appear promising this year so I’m hoping to get about 15 gallons of blueberries and 5-10 of low bush cranberries. I like my berries. I’ll also be going for bigger mammals this fall (i.e. moose, sheep, caribou). I’m plenty nervous just thinking about it, but I have a plethora of knowledge and wisdom at my disposal from my experienced neighbors that should prove valuable.
That’s all I’ve got for now. Hope everyone is enjoying their summer.

*Mom’s wearing a GPS collar.

Dragline
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by Dragline »

Wow, nice pics!

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C40
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by C40 »

wow! Seeing Lynx kittens, 25 salmon, 20 gallons of berries, moose/sheep/caribou, and flying airplanes?! Your life is dope.

FBeyer
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by FBeyer »

Dude. I am a fan. Like fo' real I think you are an amazing person!

Jake9870
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Location: Under the Great White North

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jake9870 »

Where in the Midwest? Maybe you can make a road Trip out of it? Keep writing man. Glad you sent your story in for publication.

theanimal
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by theanimal »

Thanks, all. My life seems average to me, so probably not as impressive as you think. You guys just get to see the big highlights.

I spent August working with the researchers trapping bunnies and lynx. We caught 2 adult lynx and collared them with GPS units.
Image

The berry crop was dismal this year. There were almost no blueberries and very few cranberries. I only went out once and got a few handfuls before deciding I wouldn't waste my time with it this year. Oh well. Mushrooms were plentiful though, and I picked just under a gallon of Orange Delicious.


Image

After the researchers left, I spent a couple weeks dedicated to hunting, primarily looking for sheep and caribou. I found no rams and only 5 caribou. I tried stalking the caribou but they disappeared into the landscape.

I had another false start with a job. There was an opportunity to provide logistical support for a Discovery Channel film crew, but they went with someone else at the last minute. I went down to town the second week of September and have been here since. I'm staying with friends and visiting. The friends I'm staying with have a cabin they need finished up and they are paying me to finish it and do some work around the house for them.

A semi-major magazine wants to publish one of my essays and is interested in more. Woo!!

I spent the past few days outside town going moose hunting with a few friends. It went really well to say the least. On my first day hunting, we spotted a legal bull and proceeeded to play the game of trying to draw him closer while moving closer ourselves. A while later, I was able to get clear shots off at 160 and 120 yds and down the bull. Success. Besides the meat, I brought the hide home and am going to try my hand at tanning. The idea is to make mukluks, mittens and whatever else I can think of. I'll keep you guys updated how that goes.

Image

The future sees more of the same. I hope to head back home soon after finishing down here and will likely continue hunting, hiking and messing around in the country in October.

Things are going well.

FBeyer
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 3:25 am

Re: the animal's journal

Post by FBeyer »

My life's seems average, he says.
These are just the highlight, he says.
Fuck you and your highlights, I say![1]

The most exciting thing that has happened to me in 7 months is baking a sourdough bread that didn't have a crumb-cave right under the crust...



[1] No, not really. If you think your life is pretty average, I'm afraid you need to see a doctor about that stiff neck of yours 'cause you sure as shit aren't looking around.

Jason

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason »

He killed Bullwinkle.

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Seppia
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Location: South Florida

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Seppia »

Always the awesomest of all the awesome journals here.
We want MOAR pics!

theanimal
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by theanimal »

@FBeyer- OK average was the wrong word. I was trying to convey that I don't feel different than anyone else.

@Jason- Rocky's still around.

@Seppia- Thank you. MOAR pics you get.

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August is the rainiest time of the year in Northern AK and this year was no exception. At the beginning of August we saw 4 days of torrential rain, causing the water levels to rise quite rapidly. This is taken just a couple hundred yards from my cabin along the main river in the valley.


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This is taken from a mountain behind my cabin. I made the climb that day in search of sheep and found 12, but they were too far off for me to be able to tell if they were rams (most areas only permit hunting rams). I later found out they were all ewes and lambs. That mountain in the center with the dusting of snow is always the first to receive snow in the fall time. It is one of the highest in the area and sits on an elevated plateau.

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This is just a little ways up the valley from my cabin. A friend and I call the mountain in the center "Simba Mt," after its resemblance to the rock in The Lion King. On one of the last, really nice sunny summer days, we climbed to the ridge and followed it's gradual slope to the summit. That was a great day.


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Here are low bush cranberries. As I stated earlier, they were not very abundant this year in my area. This is in an area further north where I was hunting sheep. There was a ridge, high up on a mountain that was thick with them. As you keep moving further north, the size of berries diminishes. The berries in this photo are smaller than the ones found near my cabin, which in turn are smaller than the berries found at this year's moose camp (further south).

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Low clouds enshroud mountains in a river valley north of the continental divide.

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A baby snowshoe hare. We have been trapping the hares for population estimates and taking blood samples. The hares are trapped using a live, cage trap and released after a few minutes of taking measurements. The ear tags are for assessing the population.

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Seppia
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by Seppia »

Thanks a lot!
DW and I love the wilderness, so we both live great experiences vicariously through your posts :)
Hopefully one day we manage to come visit the area.
My biggest regret from the time we lived in the USA is that we could not find the time to come to Alaska.

theanimal
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by theanimal »

After 2 nights filled with cutting meat, the processing is complete. The agreement was to split the meat between those of us hunting. I came away with about 135 lbs, which is probably just under a 1/3 of the boned out, carcass weight of the moose I shot. I estimate total expenses around $100, resulting in costs of about $0.74/lb for about the highest quality meat you can find. I'll take it. In the future, expenses on moose hunts should be lower as $70 were allocated to goodwill/social capital in the form of alcohol and I should take a higher proportion of meat. Good deal all around.

Jason

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason »

My God, you have half the fuckin earth to yourself.

7Wannabe5
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

So cool. I love your shot of the cranberries. I would ship my DD26 (studied Natural Resources Biology, very good baker) to stay with you if she didn't already have a BF.

Things Nobody Will Ever Invite ME To Do:

1) Go On Moose Hunt
2) Play Dungeons and Dragons
3) Be On Their Team for Dodgeball

Jason

Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason »

(4) Teach a class on how to post terse blog posts

7Wannabe5
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Eh.

cmonkey
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by cmonkey »

theanimal wrote:
Wed Sep 27, 2017 5:51 pm
I came away with about 135 lbs, which is probably just under a 1/3 of the boned out, carcass weight of the moose I shot. I estimate total expenses around $100, resulting in costs of about $0.74/lb for about the highest quality meat you can find. I'll take it.
That is awesome. How long will that last? Given how much meat I eat that would for sure last at least a year.

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