Marriage Trends

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
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Chad
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Chad » Sat Jul 15, 2017 8:38 pm

fiby41 wrote:
Sat Jul 15, 2017 1:02 pm
Chad wrote:
Wed Jul 12, 2017 12:28 pm
My preferred method of body disposal would be to be drug out into the middle of the woods and left for the animals, bugs, and bacteria. Of course, that's probably illegal most places, so the cheapest method is likely cremation along with a few kegs for a party.
Zoroastrians follow a method where the body is eaten by vultures and then left to decompose.
37% of Americans prefer cremation iirc. I could dig up the source from my browser history is anyone is interested.
enigmaT120 wrote:
Fri Jul 14, 2017 5:20 pm
Chad wrote:
Wed Jul 12, 2017 12:28 pm

There will be no traditional funeral arrangements. I hate traditional funerals and really despise graveyards. Why do dead people need land? And, half the time it's really good land.
I think Riggerjack's idea for old growth forest cemeteries is a great one.
You may be also interested in biosUrn, the thing grows one full tree from your remains.
We planted a tree on the family farm for my grandfather and mother and just poured the ashes in the hole for the tree.

radamfi
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by radamfi » Mon Jul 17, 2017 4:24 pm

Would you get married if you weren't interested sexually in either sex? Would you even be interested in living with someone?

Men can simulate this by their thoughts within 1 second after ejaculation. Sexual desire is extinguished temporarily. That is the time you should ask yourself whether marriage is worth doing.

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7Wannabe5
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Mon Jul 17, 2017 7:30 pm

Women can simulate this in their thoughts with 1 second after seeing a post-it note saying "Clean me" attached to a kitchen appliance.

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BRUTE
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by BRUTE » Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:42 pm

fiby41 wrote:
Sat Jul 15, 2017 1:02 pm
37% of Americans prefer cremation iirc. I could dig up the source
badum tish

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Lemur
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Lemur » Tue Jul 18, 2017 9:36 am

Funny I married quite a few years ago before I thought about investing/savings/FIRE and before I owned any real assets. When I married, I had "nothing to lose" so to speak. I was young (and admittingly had low self esteem) so when I married my spouse I felt that this was the best it is going to get. I sort of rolled the dice and got incredibly lucky because she is still great. We still get the goosebumps with each other now and than if we haven't seen each other. If I got divorced now, it would really be devastating mentally and financially and set me back through half my investments, child support, and alimony. I'd like to imagine if I ever got divorced, I would #1 never re-marry again and #2 because I'm single now I could drastically cut down the "FIRE number" or the "Stash number" whatever you might call it. Single small apartment close to work would fit my needs nicely.

I would greatly prefer this not to happen, but you never know I guess. I'd like to believe my odds of divorce are generally a lot lower given that the spouse and I are on the same goal with FIRE and we both come from conservative cultures where we "ride or die" together. Both of our parents stuck together despite my parents being in relative poverty and her parents being in true poverty in a foreign country.

On a day to day basis, I don't think about this. In hindsight, I wonder sometimes if I still would of gotten married if I was aware of ERE principals? Maybe or maybe not; I am not sure. Part of me is glad I didn't because I love my wife + kids now even though these variables inevitably increase the time that I am employed. I couldn't imagine life without them though.

radamfi
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by radamfi » Wed Jul 19, 2017 3:57 pm

Which is cheaper? Marriage and subsequent divorce, possibly multiple times, or chemical castration?

jennypenny
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Location: Stepford USA

Re: Marriage Trends

Post by jennypenny » Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:12 pm

Life isn't all about money and marriage isn't all about access to sex. If I had no interest in sex I would still have married DH.

When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.

radamfi
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by radamfi » Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:17 pm

jennypenny wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:12 pm
If I had no interest in sex I would still have married
Not many men would say that.

IlliniDave
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by IlliniDave » Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:56 pm

jennypenny wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:12 pm

When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.
That's a pretty big IF to stick in front of it! Of course the best situation is to have a truly dependable partnership *and* a big pile of cash. In my sorry case there is one of those two things I'm highly likely to achieve/maintain; and the other I have a vanishingly small chance of achieving. No sense in letting the low fruit fall to the ground and rot while I risk serious harm to myself scaling the precarious upper branches for a piece of fruit that might not even be there.

Yes, I am incorrigible. :D

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Dragline
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Dragline » Wed Jul 19, 2017 5:50 pm

jennypenny wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:12 pm

When it's firing on all cylinders, a marriage can be a powerful thing. And I'd argue a better hedge against potential crises than a pile of cash.
Agreed.

And sometimes its better to be lucky than good (at least in my case). ;)

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7Wannabe5
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Wed Jul 19, 2017 6:13 pm

Even though my marriage was pretty miserable, I agree that there are some inherent benefits that can't easily be duplicated in less committed scenario. However, that still leaves open the question of whether the sum of the benefits available in less committed relationship(s) PLUS the benefits of being single add up to better overall deal.

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Riggerjack
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Riggerjack » Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:11 pm

jennypenny wrote: ↑If I had no interest in sex I would still have married
Not many men would say that.
I would.

Marrying for sex is like buying a car for the free storage unit in the trunk. Yes, it does have several cubic feet of storage, and it's free, but that's hardly the point.

If you are in it for the sex, you are just going to be better off single. All relationships have more sex in the first year, so if that is your goal, and for some reason you have to be married to achieve it, expect short marriages.

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7Wannabe5
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Wed Jul 19, 2017 8:49 pm

My recent "ex" (as opposed to my first ex ) and I consistently had sex 7 -10 times/week for the entire 3 1/2 years we were together. Obviously, we still broke up for other reasons, but I think if both individuals in a couple include "strive for consistently hawt sex life" in their relationship mission statement, it can happen, given other prerequisites. If I didn't think it could happen, I absolutely would not want to marry again.

radamfi
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by radamfi » Thu Jul 20, 2017 3:02 am

Riggerjack wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:11 pm
I would.

Marrying for sex is like buying a car for the free storage unit in the trunk.
But would you even be interested in dating at all if you didn't have interest in sex? Can chemical castration drugs be obtained at low cost in certain countries, or even free in countries with socialised healthcare? Your body is tricking you into wanting sex so if you take that out of the equation, the whole dating/sex/marriage thing becomes irrelevant.

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7Wannabe5
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Thu Jul 20, 2017 5:52 am

@radamfi:

Many people with very low sex drives are still interested in romance, simple affection, companionship and the social benefits of being half of a couple. "I" wouldn't choose to marry a man who showed any sort of inclination towards slacking off in the sack, but that doesn't negate my recognition of other possible benefits of relationship. For instance, I have occasionally chosen to continue dating a man who was not a good match for me sexually because I enjoyed doing other things with him, like hiking or talking about books over dinner. I mean, there is a whole range along the continuum from a pure f*ck-buddy to affectionate friend with only occasional benefits.

IlliniDave
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by IlliniDave » Thu Jul 20, 2017 6:26 am

Riggerjack wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:11 pm

Marrying for sex is like buying a car for the free storage unit in the trunk. Yes, it does have several cubic feet of storage, and it's free, but that's hardly the point.
I know a lot of people who view it the other way around :lol: Maybe that's why the statistics don't live up to the romantic ideals.

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Dragline
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Dragline » Thu Jul 20, 2017 8:04 am

Cue the Georgia Satellites and stories about free milk and a cow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMFMf9cN64U

classical_Liberal
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by classical_Liberal » Thu Jul 20, 2017 9:36 pm

@ dragline
LOL, Your video links are always either comic or informational gold mines!
7Wannabe5 wrote:
Wed Jul 19, 2017 6:13 pm
Even though my marriage was pretty miserable, I agree that there are some inherent benefits that can't easily be duplicated in less committed scenario. However, that still leaves open the question of whether the sum of the benefits available in less committed relationship(s) PLUS the benefits of being single add up to better overall deal.
Personal experience has taught me that committed, but not married is the best of all worlds. However, my current career allows me access to rather deep conversations with the elderly, many of whom have had successful (in the fact that the lasted multiple decades) marriages. Many will clearly state that even great, long-term marriages can have "bad years" (not days or months). I would venture to guess that even the most committed long term relationships, without marriage, would struggle to be maintained after an entire "bad year". Whereas the commitment of marriage is more likely to survive such a long period of difficulty, even if its simply due to the degree of effort required to terminate the relationship. IOW, the more difficult it is to end, the more likely effort is put into fixing or maintaining.

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7Wannabe5
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Jul 21, 2017 7:03 pm

@classical_Liberal:

"Committed, but not married" could encompass a range of possibilities, but my personal experience has taught me that "forever boyfriend" is not best of all worlds for me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I would prefer "married, but not exclusive" to that option.

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Dragline
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Re: Marriage Trends

Post by Dragline » Fri Jul 21, 2017 8:42 pm

For the unmarried there are the "Very Good Years": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydcUaTpiHgQ

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