![Wink ;)](./images/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif)
Between the free summer housing, BF crashing and Princess room visiting, it seems that you could just practice polyhomery and use your camper as a periodic retreat. Nevertheless, some thoughts on your listed problems:
1. I'm trying to think of alternative cooking schemes and can only come up with solar oven or burying a dutch oven in your compost pile. I've never actually heard of doing the latter, but...
Really, unless you want to cook a lot of stuff or bake things, I would consider just getting a camp stove that takes disposable propane cylinders. You can refill the disposable cylinders if you have the right adapter and a friend with a big tank or some non-compliant filling station. The problem with fixing your camper's system is that you'll have to transport full propane cylinders when you run out (also when you first start). These are not light, and if you're having them filled at a legit place? They have to be periodically re-certified, fitted with overfill protection devices (because we're all apparently stupid enough to leave our full tanks in a hot car for hours) and transported per regulation. Blah, blah.
2. I'm wondering what you mean by mini-well. Is the water table close to the surface where you live? Would it be clean? Discreet? How would you pump and filter it? Rainwater catchment is cool if you have sufficient year-round rainfall, but I'd hesitate to drink it. If it's not potable, you don't really want to run it through your trailer pipes unless you don't plan to periodically (maybe while snowbirding?) hook up to/use potable water.
If you want to shower in your camper, you can bypass the plumbing entirely by using a 5-gallon bucket and a little 12-volt pump. That's actually even optional. I've taken plenty of showers that consisted of standing in a shower stall and slowly pouring warm (heated on a propane or wood stovetop) water over myself with a saucepan dipper. It's even better if you have someone else to do the pouring, but again...optional.
3. Winter? All else being equal (which it never is), migration wins hands down. The propane furnaces in RVs are horrible. They suck propane and feature excessive blowing heat alternating with freezing cold until they cycle back to blowing. Is there any possibility of running a long extension cord to someone's house and hooking up a space heater, or are there no inhabited houses nearby? Also: RVs sweat in cold weather. Pretty darn miserable.
I can see, however, that snowbirding might put a crimp in your relationship. How about moving the trailer to your BF's yard for the winter? You could cook him a great meal several times per week in payment, thereby solving the cooking issue. Web of goals!
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif)
4. I'm the last person to offer advice on storage. Hoarders-R-Us.
5. Solar can be a great investment, more in terms of independence/satisfaction than actual dollars, but it really depends on how dedicated you are to the trailer long-term. I would also be a little concerned about someone climbing on the roof and re-homing the panels.
Everyone talks here about social capital, which you seem to have in spades. Nothing wrong with utilizing capital.